Life is forty, half of life has passed.
Confucius said: "Forty is not confusing".
But when this threshold of forty is really in front of us, we realize that forty is both confusing and difficult.
There is the life of a chicken hair, there is the work of the not on and off, there is the body of the increasingly slippery, there is the future of the fog heavy.
But as Liang Shiqiu said:
People in their middle age should not be knocked down by the storm of life, and should not be lost in the world.
In the face of all the contradictions in life, it is not to escape, but to learn to choose.
If you choose the right one, your life will be smooth.
On one side is the seat, on the other side is the child
It is said that the middle-aged people on the back of the three mountains: make money, the elderly and children.
In this age of old age, all the burdens are on their shoulders.
The pressure of life and family responsibilities urge us to run forward and create a better life for our family.
But running away from their original intention is getting farther and farther away, more and more meals, longer and longer overtime, the time to accompany the family is compressed into a shorter and shorter.
Diana once said, "The real success is to accompany the family."
There is a time for flowers to bloom again, and a time for life to come back.
Children grow up only once, and there is only a limited amount of time to spend with your family, which you will regret if you miss it.
I once saw a short movie called *** Enjoy Dad.
William is an employee of a company called ****Daddy, and his job is to provide rental dads to families who need them.
It's not that these families don't have a dad, it's just that the dads are too busy to spend time with their families.
As the backbone of the company, William worked hard, successfully played dad to over 200 families, and took deep pride in the work.
Until one day, he doubted himself for the first time.
That night, William came home and looked through the windowpane to see a cheerful birthday party in the room, and a dad played by one of his coworkers.
He suddenly realizes that in his haste to play someone else's dad, he has forgotten that he is also his child's father.
At the end of the clip, William says:
The rest of your life is expensive, and spending time with your family is never a waste.
When we have, we always think that life is long and we don't care about the company we have;
But when we lose, we realize that the bond between family members is so fragile.
Children have grown up, and it is too late to get close to you; parents have aged, and you do not know.
Career, can always do addition; life, but constantly doing subtraction.
But even if the career is successful, it can not catch up with the passage of time to make up for the lack of companionship.
Life comes and goes, and the day is not long.
When you are in your middle age, you need to find a balance between your career and your family, and at the same time you need to give your family companionship and tenderness.
On one side is the face, on the other side is the "inside"
The middle-aged people probably have two faces: people before wearing a mask, the eight sides of the exquisite; people after the removal of camouflage, return to the lonely.
Jiang Wen said, "Middle age is the age of selling laughter."
They live their lives as a "face", and continue to build relationships outward, calling one-sided relationships friends, and treating a cup of friendship as a network.
But walking around and found that your mouth "brother" has forgotten what you look like, you have long been unable to remember the circle of friends in the "good friend" name.
A psychological study proved that there is a limit to the number of friends you can have in your life.
We have a vague impression of each other, and there is no substantial exchange, is 60;
Both sides are familiar with the occasional exchange, is 30;
We know the root of the real friends, only 10.
In other words, most of the contacts we spend a lot of time building up are invalid contacts.
All our lives, we've met a lot of people, but it's a lot of people we can call our friends.
Instead of letting yourself be kidnapped by the "face" of socialization, it is better to be ruthless and leave behind the "inner" that can really make friends with you.
In the Ming Dynasty, "Wuzhong four geniuses", Tong Pak Fu is the most social one, Wen Zhengming is the most "house" one.
Unlike Tang Pak Fu, who made numerous friends, Wen Zhengming was a man who did not like socializing much.
Once, the King of Ning, Zhu Chenhao in Suzhou, recruiting talents, Tong Pak Fu persuaded Wen Zhengming with him to go, but Wen Zhengming is willing to be indifferent to self-defense, do not want to go.
But what happened?
Tang Bohu around to make friends, calling friends, but in the examination was framed and jailed, and became a doorkeeper because of the King of Ning rebel was implicated.
Once those who called him brother and brother friends, but also in the Tang family after the collapse of the avoidance of him.
Wen Zhengming, on the other hand, either did not make friends, or made friends with all his heart.
His friends are not many, but they are all famous characters, such as Tang Pak Fu, Zhu Zhishan, Xu Zhenqing, Cai Yu, Tang Zhen.
He exchanged ideas with his friends to improve themselves; helped each other to **** through difficult times.
Yishu once said:
The sea of people is vast, most of the people we meet, can only accompany us for a ride.
And the real friends, but can not be found.
In the circle of friends of your meaningless warmth of the people, or in the lights and wine in the green with you to push cups of wine, are frivolous "face".
The real friend will not be false, will not ask for, as plain as water, but can be silent.
These friends, it is the real "inside".
Ge Hong said:
Friends in the quality is not in the amount, give up the illusory "face" to win the most precious "Rizi".
But for middle-aged people, this seems to be the fate that cannot be escaped.
As soon as you reach middle age, making money becomes an unavoidable responsibility, and the price you have to pay is your body.
So the "thermos soak goji berries" has become the standard for middle-aged people, they drink thermos goji berries in the water to keep fit, while running around busy.
In order to make money overdrawing the body's health, with the money earned to keep fit, in the long run, the formation of a vicious circle.
Spinoza said: "Keeping healthy is a human responsibility."
This is true.
Hua Shao, the host of Zhejiang Satellite TV, once told the program that his body "collapsed".
The daily high-intensity hosting work, stay up late is a common meal; work on the demand for socializing, drinking to vomit is often inevitable.
Long-term irregular work and rest, unhealthy diet, coupled with great mental stress, let his body quickly collapse.
The most serious time, two blood vessels burst, once vomited 500cc of blood.
Also from that time onwards, Huashao began to reflect: to make money before the body, is it wrong?
I've heard the saying, "Health is 1, the other is 0. Without the 1 in front of you, the 0 is still 0."
It's a pity that we often put the cart before the horse, and desperately squander our bodies in pursuit of money and fame and fortune.
Unbeknownst to you, everything you've built with your best efforts will come crashing down with just one serious illness.
The health of middle-aged people is a responsibility.
With health, there is the capital to continue to struggle and enjoy the security of life.
Remember, life is not a sprint, but a marathon.
Don't let yourself fall down in the middle of the day, and don't be hard on yourself when you're tired.
Slow down, rest your feet, and know how to build up your body's strength so that it can continue to power through the second half.
On one side is the old age, and on the other side is the fear of old age
Yu Dafu wrote a poem:
When we were young, we were all dreaming of retirement, and we hoped to realize the dream of planting flowers and keeping fishes, and travelling all over the world as soon as possible.
But when the day really approaching, the fact of "getting old" and unreservedly in front of us.
So worry and anxiety has become the norm for middle-aged people.
Worrying about not being able to rely on the old, worrying about being disliked, worrying about not saving enough money.
But in fact, aging is a natural transition from the beginning to the end of the chain of life.
Instead of obsessing about the end result, we should be serious about the present moment.
I was impressed by an old man when I watched The Boys Speak.
His grandson shouted from the high stage: "Grandma, you are already over 70 years old, not young. Can you save us some heartache and stop going out to work?"
Grandma asked, "What do you think a 70-year-old person should do?"
The teenager said, "Bringing up children, walking, playing mahjong, and square dancing."
Grandma, however, said, "Some older people are like that, but that's not my life, I want to be able to have my life value."
A person's aging is never an increase in age, but a negative state of mind.
Liang Shiqiu said, "Forty is only the beginning of life."
Life is not a narrow and cramped dark forest, but a broader and broader avenue.
Huang Zongjiang in the "Pearland three records" said:
Serious life, why fear the old will come?
Live well on the road to old age, do not worry about the future, and do not miss every moment of the present.
Not messing with the heart, not trapped in love, not afraid of the future, not thinking about the past.
The road in front of you is well paved, and the road behind you is not bad.
Half a lifetime of walking, a shake of the middle age.
Pressure and responsibility come one after the other, the flashy and noisy, and we are in the center of all kinds of contradictions.
In fact, every stage of life will encounter a variety of problems, the key lies in how you choose.
Choose the people you cherish, you will not miss and regret;
Choose the things that are important to you, you will not choose the wrong and regret;
Choose the right road for you, you will not be confused and lose direction.
For the rest of your life, I hope you can afford to let go, and you can carry on, and you can see the light.
Light up in the look, may you be brave to face the storm in life, but also in their own small courtyard to open a small flower.