2, a woman strange ugly, can not marry, hope to be trafficked. Finally dream come true, but half a month can not be sold. The kidnappers will be sent back, she was determined not to get off, the kidnappers gritted their teeth and stomped his foot: go, the car does not want
3, 20 years ago, Dad held you waiting for the car, people are laughing at the child looks ugly, Dad cried. A banana sales boss pat dad said: "big brother do not cry, take a banana to the monkey to eat it! It's so poor, it's so hungry it has no hair."
4, on the plane, a parrot to the stewardess said: "to the master to a glass of water", the pig also learn parrot, said to the stewardess: "to the master to a glass of water", the stewardess was furious, the parrot and the pig are thrown off the plane. At this point the parrot said to the pig, "Silly, master can fly."
5, there is an old farmer in the field hoeing, a crow flew over, pulled a bubble of feces fell on the old farmer's face, the old farmer looked up and cursed: "By your mother! You don't know how to wear a pair of pants when you go out!" The crow said, "Shit! You shit wearing pants ah!"
6, said a lady on a whim, bought a female parrot. When she brought it home, the first thing she said was, "Do you want to go to bed with me?"
When the lady heard this, she thought: "Oh, no, outsiders still think that this is what I taught them, and this is not the image of my lady all ruined. So she did everything she could to get the parrot to say something elegant, but the female parrot was determined to say only one thing: "Do you want to go to bed with me?"
...... What to do? When the lady was losing her mind, she heard that the priest had a parrot (a male) and that the parrot, instead of speaking foul language, was a religious man who prayed most of the day. So the lady went to the priest for help. After the priest understood her purpose, he said, "It's very difficult to deal with this, in fact, the parrot, and did not deliberately teach it anything, the reason why it is so pious, but also may be a long time here to be inculcated the cause of it."
Seeing that the lady was lost, the priest said, "Let's do it this way, you bring that parrot to me and I'll put them together. Hopefully, after some time, that parrot of yours will be sensitized. That's all I can do, whether it works or not depends on God's will ......"
When the lady heard that, that's all she could do, isn't there a saying, "If you are close to a man, you will be close to him"? Try it. So she took the parrots to the priest. The priest put the two parrots together as promised. At first, the female parrot was a bit nervous, seeing the male parrot in the corner of the cage, praying silently, and really couldn't bear to disturb. But she couldn't help herself, and finally said aloud, "Want to have sex with me? "
Hearing this, the male parrot stopped praying, turned to look at the female parrot, and suddenly burst into tears: "Thank God, the wish I prayed for so many years has finally come true ......"
7. , Girls Don't Say That
A man said to a woman, "I'll buy you dinner."
The woman said, "Some other time."
8, saving money bucket
A widow went to buy a cucumber, and instructed not to slice, but the cucumber seller forgot, or sliced, the widow saw, scolded: "You fucking when I am a saving money bucket ah?"
9, internship
A large group of girls to the farm internship, the farmer to teach everyone to milking, demonstration, teach everyone to do it personally try. At this time a girl to see others have been milked half a tube and their own only a little, very puzzled. The farmer came over to take a look and said: "Miss, not only are you milking in the wrong place, but you're also choosing the wrong cow.
10, a handsome man wants to buy condoms
A handsome man wants to buy condoms, do not know the size of the service lady helplessly down to check, while on the side of the colleague said: come to a box of 5-inch Oh, no, 7-inch... Oh my god, get the toilet paper 。。。。。。。。
11, bumped into the ex-girlfriend and new favorite flirting
Shadow pig has just been abandoned by his girlfriend, happened to bump into his ex-girlfriend and new favorite flirting on the street, the more he saw the more angry, and wanted to humiliate them. So he politely went up to say hello and said to his girlfriend's new lover with contempt, "You don't mind my used old stuff!" Just when he was pleased with his creativity, his ex-girlfriend burst out laughing and said, "An inch of the outside is old, and the inside is all brand new!"
12, missed the point
Next class roll call, if not come to the final grade will be deducted 50 points! Read to a brother somehow skipped, so he shouted: "Teacher, you missed the point!"
The old teacher looked down and said, "No ah ~"
13, a summer, a young man wearing flip-flops, on a bus **** car, he sat down, crossed his legs, sitting across from a young girl wearing a short skirt (not wearing panties), the car opened! ! Suddenly! A brake! The guy's foot goes into the girl's BB, oops! Things would have been like this! After two days, the girl felt that her BB was so uncomfortable, she went to the hospital to the hospital, the doctor examined a surprised said "Wow, your BB has foot fungus, strange"
Just then, the door was pushed open, another doctor broke in and said: "What's so strange, just now a young man with syphilis on his feet! There's a young man with syphilis on his feet!" The doctor said, "I don't know what's so strange about that.
14, before the masquerade, Mrs. Suddenly uncomfortable, they called her husband single to the meeting. A little later, Mrs. consciously better, they changed into a set of husband has never seen the fashion, drive also went to the ball. Just inside the door, Mrs. saw her husband flirting with other women, and couldn't help but feel jealous, decided to test her husband. She went to her husband's side, coquettishly, throwing herself into his arms. Finally, she lured him to the back garden to have a good time. At midnight, when everyone was about to take off their masks, the wife quietly left. And her husband didn't return until three in the morning.
"How was the ball? " the wife asked. "It wasn't fun at all. " the husband replied. "What on earth did you do there? "
The wife pressed again and again. "To tell you the truth," said the husband, "when I got there, I saw that several of my friends didn't have their wives with them, so some of us played cards in the study. "'Were you playing cards all night?' " screamed the wife. "Yes, but I lent my costume and mask to another old friend. The guy did brag to me at the end of the ball that it was the most wonderful night he'd ever had!
15. On the night of the wedding, the bride had undressed and gone to bed.
The groom also took off his coat, shirt and tie, but when it came to the shoes, he ran into trouble,
Because the laces couldn't be untied, and the more they were connected, the bride was anxious and he said, "It's so stupid, there's a knife there, use it to cut it!"
The bride's mother was eavesdropping in the next room to find out if everything was as it should be, and when she heard the bride say this, she exclaimed, "No, you can't use a knife." She said through the wall, "Just tell him to put some spit on it."
16, there is a couple, the husband is very fond of bowling but also very afraid of his wife, the wife loves to smoke, one night, the wife found in their own cigarettes finished, they called the husband to go to buy, the husband had no choice but to go to buy, but it has been very late, the neighborhood kiosks are closed, which can be the husband was anxious, the husband suddenly thought of the bar should have to sell cigarettes, so the husband went to the bar! The husband saw the bar seat a beautiful lady, so he walked through the front to chat with the lady, and then go to the room together.
To the middle of the night, the husband suddenly thought of forgetting to buy cigarettes for their wives, but also afraid of their wives know about this will kill him, so he asked the lady there is no talcum powder, the lady is very strange but still gave him, the husband will be coated with talcum powder to their hands on the way home, just into the door of the house husband saw his wife stood there in a huff, the wife asked her husband: "Where did you die!"
The husband then answered honestly: "There is no place to sell cigarettes on the roadside, I went to the bar to the bar I saw a beautiful lady, I went over to talk, and then we went to the room."
After hearing this the wife said to her husband, "Give me your hand!"
The husband dutifully stretched out his hand for his wife to see, and the wife became furious and said, "And don't tell me you went bowling with your friends! What's wrong with your hand!"
17, a couple to the countryside to sleep, the hotel owner told them to please bear with them, because the power is not enough at night there will often be a blackout phenomenon.
The couple not only didn't mind, but found it very exciting, so they agreed to make out as soon as the power went out.
Sure enough, at night, the power went out every two hours, and a few times, the man had to drag his tired body to the hotel owner to discuss; "Boss, I'm willing to pay a little more, but please do me a favor and change it to a four-hour power outage, okay?"
The hotel owner smiled in embarrassment and said, "I'd be happy to do you a favor, but unfortunately you're one step too late, just now your girlfriend has already overpaid me on the condition that the power goes out every half hour!"
18, carrots see ham and sausage said: wow! Really rich, wearing a leather jacket. Ham: this is what ah, you see others sausage, wearing leather, we are still wearing this artificial leather.
19, the kangaroo and frogs to go whoring chicken, the kangaroo three two finished, only to hear the next door to the frog all night long one, two, three hey! The kangaroo and the frog went to the whorehouse, and the kangaroo was finished in three! Kangaroo good envy. The next day, the kangaroo said: "Wow! ~~Frog, you're great!" The frog said, "Cao, I didn't jump on the bed all night! ~~
20, said there is a shy little boy, hit a good-looking, elegant posture of the woman. Shy, he secretly observed her life every day, and finally found out a cycle - she must eat noodles at a certain noodle store on a certain day of the week.
He felt that the time was ripe, so he waited for her at the noodle store one day, and when she entered the store and sat down, he took a deep breath, summoned up all his courage, and stepped forward to ask her name.
He said, "Miss, what is your name?"
The lady opened her big eyes and said to him, "My name is Beef Noodle."
21. A couple was watching someone dance in a ballroom. The husband said with emotion, "This world is also really strange, that ugly stupid man has a beautiful wife." The wife laughed and said, "Darling, you're so good at kissing ass."