In developmental psychology, there is a triangle worth thinking about and learning from. As people reach middle age, their personalities are maturing and stabilizing, and if they want to reap the benefits of happiness and success, they must balance the three roles they play - the social and professional roles, the family and emotional roles, and the self.
These three roles, like the three feet to support the tripod, only to do a good job in each role, people's emotions will be as stable as the jackhammer, the lack of which foot will make life out of balance.
And there is another group of people who lack self-esteem, who have no idea what they like, who go along with the crowd, who do what the society asks them to do, who have no heart to chase, who have few dreams.
Don't underestimate these three relationships, these three roles are not good, directly affecting the quality of life in the second half of life.
When you're young, everything you do seems to have no necessary connection, but in the end it all comes down to a drawer, a world created by your initiative. So what we're doing now is an accumulative process of growing our lives into a tree that shades ourselves and others.
Have you ever thought that people will eventually grow old, and what type of old person will you be as you drift into old age?
To be brutally honest, old age is a process of gradual loss of physical and mental health, social roles, and economic foundations, and this is where triangulation shows its importance.
The loss of socio-professional roles is after retirement, which is quite traumatic for a person, as if they have lost their social existence value all of a sudden. Once the emotional role of the family is lost, the spiritual support is completely lost, and the person can be instantly no longer rely on; attributed to their own time in old age, but because some people do not establish themselves, did not find their own hobbies, so all day long, gradually lonely, can not be independent of the existence of their own.
Instead of enjoying the joy that each day can create, the days are like years of powerlessness, and in the long run, the human spirit will become very empty, and some of them will put their energy into controlling their children's lives.
Because of the changes in social and interpersonal relationships, the attitude of the elderly in the face of old age, in the face of the urgency of life, also presents a variety of differences.
Some autonomous older people, as usual, exist as an intelligent independent body, with their own preferences, but also their own wisdom to give to others;
Some become a controlling, complaining type of existence, work to control other people, retired, butler, their own desire to invest in the outside world to invest in the outside world.
There are also those who have become a controlling, complaining type of being, controlling others at work, controlling people when they retire, and putting their own desires from the outside world into their own families, making them very unhappy;
There are also those who have become an angry, despairing type of being, fearful of facing the end of their life, and despairing of life, and have no motivation to create a new life.
Children should give them deeper companionship at this stage, soothe their psyche, and help them find their favorite things, or find their own beliefs. However, life is independent, and no one can live in place of anyone else. No matter what age you are, you cannot lose your passion for life, nor can you lose the sovereignty to exercise it at will.
We must find a fulcrum for our own lives when we are young, and be prepared to grow old one day. We have great energies within us, and we have to find them out when we are old.
In fact, there are really a lot of people who live their old age in a glittering, radiant way.
Of the many types, the one I admire most and want to be the most is the independent senior. Independent seniors, they are just getting older, but the years have not taken away their positive young hearts.
See a lot of different lifestyles of the elderly, around the common is to work all their lives, old age is still worrying about their children's lives of the elderly, life is not really lively, and many times even do not know what to do. The word of other people's parents, judging all kinds of right and wrong, is also quite common.
So, sometimes I don't understand some of the grandparents brought out of the children, why they grew up very much like to complain, selfish or love to scold, behind the refraction must be a kind of family relations, as well as the behavior of the adults on the children's influence on the subconscious.
During my time as an intern reporter at the university, I also interviewed a lot of older people. They live in small cities, but that doesn't limit them to a narrow life.
The old people I interviewed were all healthy and bright, with their own hobbies and interests, and a circle of friends with the same preferences. Some devote themselves to painting, some to calligraphy, some good at root carving ...... They also love to share, one old man will be painted by a landscape painting to me, and for me to inscribe the inscription, radiant.
Square dancing is also a hobby.
I love the seventy-something retired man in the movie The Intern, played by Oscar winner Robert De Niro. Anyone who knows Robert De Niro knows that he made The Godfather famous, and now in his seventies he portrays a retired man his age named Ben.
Freud said, "The only things that matter in life are love and work." Ben is retired, and his wife died three years ago. In his retired life, he was constantly looking for new things to try, he traveled around the world, learned golf, got out of the kitchen, learned yoga, practiced Chinese and so on, but he preferred to find the value of his existence.
In a recruitment exercise, because of his excellence, he succeeded in becoming an older intern in a company. Every day, his hair is combed meticulously, his suit, tie and shoes are neatly worn, and the documents in his vintage briefcase are placed in a well-organized manner, and although he is already old, he shines brightly among the crowd, even among the young.
I love his high level of self-discipline, the way he gets dressed before his alarm goes off in the morning, and the way he says to himself, "Let's make it happen" before he goes to work. He gives his female boss the wisdom to deal with her work and emotional difficulties, and there is a lot to be learned from him; he is full of energy and confidence, and there is a sense of calm and security in his proximity.
For the first time in any movie I've ever seen, I feel that "elegance" and "sophistication" can be used in a male senior citizen. The world at seventy is not that different from the world at twenty, and the point is that at no time should you allow yourself to become chronically depressed.
I met a 92-year-old woman, Phyllis Sues, online, no, I should call her an old maiden. Read her story and realize what it means to be truly alive.
When she was young, she was a ballerina, and at 50, she started designing her own clothing brand; at 80, she developed a passion for music, and began studying piano and jazz, and then became a composer, and made a record; and in order to keep her figure and brain vitality, she has to keep exercising every day, playing tennis, jumping rope, and swinging, all of which she began to learn after she turned 80; she started learning tango at 83, and practiced yoga at 85 for better dance balance ......
At her age, she still leads such an active life, and she says her secret is that she has been able to keep her body in shape and her brain active. strong> She says her secret: "I learned early on that one needs fearlessness, self-discipline and great enthusiasm to face challenges."
Her advice to young people is "Look at me, if it's too late to say you're going to do something or something like that, think again!"
With a positive mindset, they will always have a young heart, and the future is possible for them as long as they create it themselves. They never hide in a corner, lamenting old age, complaining about others, can still live for their own tomorrow enthusiasm.
As long as you live, you can live a different life every day.
In fact, there are a lot of older people like this, because of their experience, wisdom and enthusiasm for life, in the hearts of all people, they have never aged, but the more they live, the younger they are, and the more they deserve the respect and admiration of others.
They always have a young and upwardly mobile heart, do not give up hope because of old age, tomorrow and death do not know which one will come beforehand, they wisely chose tomorrow.
When they were young, they didn't want to do anything they didn't want to do, or they wanted to try something new, and they spent most of their lives raising their children, and now they just happen to have their own personal time, which is just enough to develop themselves.
Grandma Moses, as we know her, became one of America's most famous and prolific primitive painters in her later years. She had been living on a farm, and began painting when she was 77 years old, after which she became a sensation. Although she had no formal education in painting, she brought hope to people with the bright colors of her brush in more than 1,600 paintings she created over the next two decades.
From them, we know that life is never too late to start, and many people always love to say that it's already too late, in fact, for a life seeker, every period of life is young and timely.
There is an energy within everyone, whether it is in old age or when we are young, it should be found out. Take the initiative to find joy and create your own life every day. No matter what age, don't burn out mentally; living on this earth is a hopeful thing.
Never give up the vivid vigor, never give up the self, age, just can be capricious to do their own, but also care about what others look. From the outside to the inside, from the calm and elegant, energetic and generous.
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Forty-sixth love letters to the imperfect world, written to the old.
Shouldn't we young people learn more from such an attitude?