The skit "You're in trouble" was written by Wang Hong, Wang Hongkun and Tian Hao, starring Sun Tao, Qin Hailu, Wang Xihua and Fang Qingping. Lines:
Security guard: "Born in a small mountain village, the city to fight. Wearing a security uniform, I dedicate my youth to guarding the door. I am proud. I guard this place is not ordinary place, is an office building, this building inside the people all know how to write words. Our leader said, during the Spring Festival, security is most important. Anyone who enters this building must carry a license, no one will be allowed in without one. If I go in, I'll be fired." ?
Mr. Zhao: "Hey, what's wrong with you, why haven't you arrived yet."
Security: sir. Mr. Zhao: I asked you where you are? Can't you hurry up? Hey, hey. Security: Mr. Mr. Zhao: call who Mr. ah. What eyes ah.
Security: ah, is a woman,, long too complicated. Do you have a license? Mr. Zhao: what license ah? Security: the license to enter the building. Mr. Zhao: I don't have it. Security: I'm sorry, no license not allowed to enter.
Mr. Zhao: Do I still need a license?
Security: ah, our leadership said that is a person should be licensed. Security: I'm not saying you're not a person, I'm saying people without cards are not people. I'm saying you have to have a license to enter this building. Mr. Zhao: You're new here today.
Security: "I'm not new today, I'm new yesterday." ? Mr. Zhao: know who I am. Security: No. Mr. Zhao: Mr. Zhao on the third floor of the building. Security guard: Oh, third floor Mr. Zhao, don't know.
Mr. Zhao: I'm just going to go in for 10 minutes to get something and leave. Security: I'm sorry, there is no license to enter.
Mr. Zhao: "Oops, how can you be so dead-set?
Security: I'm flexible if you have a license. Mr. Zhao: I tell you ah, I'm annoyed today."
Security: "I'm happy today." ? Mr. Zhao: I just went out from here, you did not see it? Security guard: I didn't see it. Mr. Zhao: I just had a cup of coffee in the opposite cafe you didn't see it. Security: I did not see.
Mr. Zhao: I came out of the cafe and went to the restroom and you didn't see it? Security: I did not see, I am the building security, but not the restroom security. Mr. Zhao: Then I came out of the restroom you should have seen it. Security: I didn't see it, I have nothing to do and can't keep staring at the restroom. Mr. Zhao: You don't look here or there, what are you looking at as a security guard?
Security: Cards. Mr. Zhao: You just know the cards, who do you think you are. Mr. Zhao: "Aren't you just a janitor?" Security guard: "I am a janitor, I am proud." ?
Mr. Zhao: Good, I will let you call you proud not up today. (Said picking up the phone) Wang, downstairs security guards do not allow me to enter. Yes, give me to find the leader. (pointing to the security guard said) I tell you ah, you are in trouble, you are in big trouble. Who is it? Ms. Liu from the public relations department, great. Miss Liu phone ......
Security: I do not know Miss.
Mr. Zhao: and then find me the leader, yes. (And pointing to the security guard said) you are in trouble, you are in big trouble, you. Which one? Building Wang Secretary, great. Come on, Secretary Wang phone ...... Security: I do not know the secretary. Mr. Zhao: and then find me the leader, right. (then point to the security guard but did not speak) Security: I am in a mess, I am in a big mess.
Mr. Zhao: Which leader? Security class leader. Aigoo, you find a small leader to manage what ah. This is a small shift leader security: Hey, this person is useful. (Said to take the phone) Hey, squad leader. It's me. Yes, yes, she is very manic. She's very cocky. Uh, no, no. We've got this quality here. Yeah, we're cultured. Okay, I understand, I understand. (Then turned to Mr. Zhao and said) You go in.
Mr. Zhao: Do I have a license?
Security: no. Mr. Zhao: Can I get in? Security guard: Can get in. Mr. Zhao: Are you still proud? Security: I'm proud.
(Money sender came) (security said) big sister to send money: who is a big sister ah, people male. Security guard: male, oops, pseudo-maiden! Send money: hate. Security: Comrade, do you have a license?
Send money: what card ah? Security: the card to enter the door. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and you'll be able to do that. The security guard: I'm sorry, there is no card not allowed to enter the money delivery: I look for someone.
Security: Who are you looking for? The money delivery: the third floor of Mr. Zhao. Security: Oh, it is that manic woman. Money delivery: recognize it? Security: do not recognize. We have rules, you make a call, let her come down to pick you up.
Send money to: my cell phone is out of battery! Security: Oh, you make a dī (cab) back to charge, and then come back. Money delivery: Then it's too late, I'm in a hurry. I'm delivering money to Mr. Zhao. Security: What's wrong with delivering money, you're not delivering money to me. Money delivery: Brother, you let me in.
The money delivery: pro, help it! (Security: Don't be like that.) Behave. Security: Stop! You pay attention to your emotions!
Send money: pro ~
Security: stop! You do not scream okay? I can not stand the excitement. You back up, I'll give Mr. Zhao a call, let her come down to pick you up. Good guy, their company's people are very different.
Send money: Thank you, pro ~ security: pro ! (After finishing, hurriedly put down the phone) (security guard said to the money delivery) you away from me a little bit. (Then pick up the phone) Hey, Mr. Zhao, hello! I'm the security guard downstairs, I'm the security guard who just barred you downstairs. Yes, I'm with you ...... Security: She hung up, she hung up! (then put down the phone) to send money: I give her to call ha!
Security: No, we are internal phone.
Security: No! The money: ten dollars, okay!
Security: You are very rich, right?
Money: Yes, I'm very rich, I'm all money in this box. Security: I tell you, you these money can take down a corrupt official, you can not take down a decent security! Money delivery: You won't let me in, will you? Security: You don't have a license I just don't let you in!
The money delivery: you are in trouble, you are in big trouble.
Security: This is your company slogan, right? The money delivery: you bother what words ah, you let me not enter? (Push the security guard) Security: ah, what are you doing ah? Money delivery: You let me in or not? (Pushes the security guard) Security guard: ah, you dare to do it, right?
Money: I can not do it. (Chest bumps security guard) Will you let me in? (Yee-haw) Are you letting me in? (Yee-haw) Are you letting me in? （SECURITY GUARD: You're still hitting people with your chest! Money man: What's the matter? Security: You back up.
The money: I do not back. Security: ah ah, you stepped on my foot. I'm looking for Mr. Zhao, why don't you let me in? (Migrant workers then came on stage)
Security: (said to the money delivery: do not shout) (face to face the migrant workers) comrades, you have a license?
Migrant workers: Ah, no.
Security: I'm sorry, you don't have a license to enter. Migrant workers: I'm looking for someone in a hurry. Security: Who are you looking for? Migrant workers: the third floor of Mr. Zhao. Security: Ah, you are also looking for Mr. Zhao. (Migrant worker: Ah.) Mr. Zhao's click rate is quite high. (Migrant worker: Hee!) Later, I'll give her a call and ask her to come down to pick you up.
Farmer: Thank you! Security guard: (pick up the phone) Hey, Mr. Zhao, hello, I'm still the same security guard downstairs. Just now I called you, you hung up on me, you do not hang up the phone. I tell you ah ...... she hung up again, she hung up again! (With put down the phone) migrant workers: big brother, you quickly let me in. Security: What are you looking for her to do ah?
Farmer: I'm looking for her to ask for money ah! I village dozens of people to her company to do engineering, this is not soon after the New Year's well, I come to ask for money! Security: Are you a migrant worker? (Wang Xihua: Ah) Do you want her wages? (Wang Xihua: Ah) I don't think you can get this money. Migrant Worker: Why? Security guard: Why? Mr. Zhao is a very low-quality person, and he's very agitated today. I ask you, she is this money is not today delay tomorrow, tomorrow delay the day after tomorrow?
Migrant workers: Yes! Oh, yesterday she asked me to go to the bank, I waited for a day, she said she didn't get the money, and today she asked me to go to the bank again, and I waited for another day, and she still said she didn't get the money. (Suntao: Look at it.) I just called and told me to come here. Security guard: Look at this, this is a pitiful ah! I'm telling you, she just said she'd be up there for ten minutes, and then she'd leave right away. (Migrant worker: go?) She's running away! (Migrant worker: Run?) She's absconding! Migrant worker: absconding? The money delivery: Nonsense, absconding still let me deliver money!
Security: you stupid ah, absconding also need funds ah. Migrant workers: Ouch, ma'am, how can this be done? Big brother, you let me in! I'm a farmer, it's not easy to earn some money, big brother! Migrant Worker: If I don't get the money, I'll have to pay for it! Migrant laborer: If we don't get this money, how can we still have the face to go back to the village ah, (said turning to face the money delivery) big sister! How can I still have the face to see everyone, big sister! How can I still have the face to see the living ah, big sister!
The money man: Big sister! The big sister! Who is your big sister? I am your big brother! ...... again taken advantage of, nasty ...... migrant workers: oops, male? It's a surprise! (to the security guard) big brother, this how city people are like this? Security: calm down, I'm used to it! Migrant workers: big brother, quickly let me in!
Security: Big sister, I tell you, I sympathize with your situation, I also come from the countryside, but I can not let you in, we have rules here, I let you in, I have to go out from here. Migrant workers: I beg you! The money delivery: you beg him useless wow, he wants to let you in, I'll call him father! Migrant Worker: I beg you! (Begging the security guard) Big brother!
Security: You go in! (Walking towards the money man) You call it! The money man: She can't go in.
Security: Why can't she enter? The money: She doesn't have a license. Migrant worker: Yes, I don't have a license.
Payment delivery: No license, no entry, right? Sun Tao: (turns around and puts the license on the big sister's neck) (turns back around to face the money delivery guy again) Can she get in? I'm telling you, from now on, she's a woman with a license! Money-giver: That can't enter either. SECURITY GUARD: Why can't she get in yet? Money delivery: she that want money can enter, I this money delivery how can not enter?
Security: you can compare with others? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty. Security: You are the one who sends money, they are the ones who ask for money. (The one who sends money: Ah, what's wrong?) The one who wants money! Money-giver: What's wrong? What's wrong with the one who wants money? Security Guard: The one who wants money. She's proud of it!
Migrant workers: (to the security guard) big brother, you are a good man it! Security: I know, I really am a good person. I tell you ah, big sister, you later go in to see that Mr. Zhao, do not be polite. That person is very manic! When you see her, go up and grab her at once, and ask her for money. Migrant Worker: What if she wants to run? Security: Run? You just yell catch hooligans.
Migrant workers: (whispering to the security guard) Zhao always female! Security: (shouting) What's wrong with women? Female hooligans are more powerful! You have not seen that Mr. Zhao, that person is very manic. So big boss owes people migrant workers money is not paid, she has to abscond, she is still a person. （Migrant workers: (hinting to the security guard) Stop it. Security guard: Why don't you say it? She did this kind of dirty things, she is not ashamed of it? She is not ashamed of herself.
Migrant workers: you do not say! Security: What? I'm just saying that you Mr. Zhao. (The money immediately stood at attention) ah ah ah, ah ah, I mention the word Zhao this two words, you still stand at attention, you ---- you a toady ...... (turn around to see Mr. Zhao, stand at attention and salute)
Security: (turn back to the body and ask the money and the migrant workers in a low voice) when she stood in my back? Why didn't you guys warn me?
Migrant workers and money delivery (whispered) (in unison): reminded! Security guard: You guys didn't remind enough. Mr. Zhao: (loudly to the security guard) Say, go on. Security guard: (turns to face Mr. Zhao) I won't say it. Mr. Zhao: Why?
Security: I'm tired. Mr. Zhao: I think you are afraid to say it, right? Security: Mr. Zhao, you do not owe people migrant workers money le? Ah, I tell you, you are in trouble, you are in big trouble. Send money: (to Zhao) sister, what are you in trouble? Mr. Zhao: Che ~, the money brought?
Money delivery: ah, 500,000, not a penny less. Mr. Zhao: (to the security guard) Come here, I'll give you a word. Security: You don't have to bribe me, anti-corruption starts with security. Mr. Zhao: You are legally liable for rumor and slander. Security: "I'm not afraid, the two of us to see who went in first, who do you think you are ah, you think you have the money you can not pay the debt, you think you have the right to corrupt the country's money? Do you think you can control the housing market just because you have four account books? I have two words for you: Game over. I tell you, if you don't return this money to big sister today, you don't want to leave this door."
Migrant worker: (to the security guard) Big brother, you are not in a hurry first, think, maybe Zhao will always give me this money.
Guard: (to the migrant worker) Auntie, you are too kind, how can you still trust her, how can she give you money, if she can give you money, I call her grandma.
Mr. Zhao: Here you go, (said giving the migrant worker 500,000 RMB) (then said to the security guard) Call it! (Audience uproar: call wow, call grandma) Security: (pointing to the money delivery) He called for me. Thank you!
Migrant workers: Mr. Zhao, I thank you! Mr. Zhao: Sister, I'm really sorry ah, let you anxious. In fact, to the end of the year, the most anxious person is me, the company's funds are really out of the question, so with their bosses borrowed 500,000 to you, you take this money, you can rest assured that I owe no one will not owe the migrant workers money, I owe nothing owes conscience! Migrant workers: Mr. Zhao, I pay my respects to you for the whole village.
Mr. Zhao: I also pay my respects to all of you. Hurry up and go home to celebrate the New Year. Migrant workers: (to the security guard) Hey! Big brother, I also thank you! I also give you New Year's greetings! See you later! Migrant worker: (to Mr. Zhao) Sister, you're so manly. Mr. Zhao: (to the money-giver) Go to the side. MONEY DELIVERERER: (slapping the security guard) Silly! (then walked away with the migrant workers)
Security: I'm in trouble, I'm in big trouble. Mr. Zhao: (to the security guard) wait for my lawyer to find you tomorrow. Security: Mr. Zhao, do not need to bother the lawyer, wait for the next shift, I undress and go. Mr. Zhao: What for, you want to abscond? Security guard: (crying) I have no funds.
Mr. Zhao: Okay, don't cry. You can't be more manly? Security: In this regard I am indeed inferior to you. Through this incident I found that Mr. Zhao you really are a man. Mr. Zhao: Then you do not hurry to follow the Hanzi dry? Okay, don't cry, call the lawyer to find you is to sign a contract with you, please come to my company to work. My company needs people like you who are serious and responsible. You've got a good thing going for you. Security: Mr. Zhao, Mr. Zhao ...... (crying) you are very good. What do I do in your company?
Mr. Zhao: look at the warehouse, when custody. Hey, no license not allowed to enter ah. Security: Oh, security custody, flat transfer. Mr. Zhao: work is not tired, double the salary! Security: work is not tired, double the salary. (Crying and laughing) not paying attention, directly to the well-off society. I am proud! Mr. Zhao: Let's go. Security Guard: (Laughing) Mr. Zhao, do you have a card? (Mr. Zhao said pulling out cards)
Security: (imitating the J-15 carrier aircraft commander giving takeoff instructions) Go you!
Expanded:
Characters in the play
Sun Tao was born on December 26, 1968 in Shandong Province. He is an actor of the General Administration Drama Troupe. Graduated from the Acting Class of the Theater Department of the People's Liberation Army Academy of Arts.
In 1995, he first appeared on the stage of CCTV's Spring Festival Gala and performed the skit "Correction".
In 2001, he acted in his first movie "Son, Dad Tells You".
In 2002, she starred in the TV series "The Woman in Charge" as Erzhu. In 2006, he starred in the TV series "The Great Song Trialist 2".
In 2009, he performed in the CCTV Spring Festival Gala in the skit "Auspicious Three Bao".
In 2011, he starred in the urban emotional drama "The Ten-Year War Between My Mother-in-Law and I", playing the male lead Li Qiong. On February 9, 2013, he performed for the 9th time at the Spring Festival Gala, playing the role of a scrupulous security guard.? On June 5, he starred in the TV series My Hometown Jinchaji.?
On February 7, 2016, she performed the sketch "Don't Worry" at the CCTV Spring Festival Gala.
On January 27, 2017, he partnered with Yan Xuejing and Liu Yiwei to perform the skit "True Love Forever".2018, he performed the skit "Raising Opinions" with Qin Hailu and Wang Hongkun at the CCTV Spring Festival Gala.On September 13, he starred in the TV series "Ah, Fathers and Folks".