Zhang Xiaoxian once said, "If you can't please the whole world, then please yourself first. Don't wait to be haggard before you know you have to be good to yourself. It's never too early or too late to please yourself."
For the rest of your life, remember to learn to please yourself.
Loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Finding Fun
Pleasing Yourself
Mitsumo once received a letter signed "Unhappy Girl".
In the letter, the girl explained that she was very unhappy and unhappy with her life, and that she felt worthless and poor both materially and spiritually. She wanted to ask San Mao for advice on what is the purpose of life? How exactly can one be happy in life?
In her reply, Sansao said:
Next, Sansao reassured her in her reply that she was actually not mediocre, and that if she wanted to be happy, she could start with practical changes in everything.
For example, paint your room bright white, make yourself a beautiful curtain on the window, make a bookshelf in the corner of the wall, change the light bulb with a warm and cozy lampshade, spend a little money to buy yourself a nice new dress, make a new hairstyle, go to events and meet new people ......
Happiness is actually very simple, just start with the little things and slowly see the change.
"Don't rely on others to give you happiness. You go ahead and set the room up, force yourself to do it, and you'll realize that things are not as hard as you thought they would be, and that interests can be sought out, try east, try west, and as long as you decide in your heart that you like it, cultivate it and make it an after-work pastime."
Seek pleasure and please yourself.
For the rest of your life, learn to please yourself.
Wang Xiaobo said, "People who wait for others to give them happiness are often unhappy."
The only way to be truly happy is to know how to love yourself and have the ability to make yourself happy.
When you're tired, take a break, when you're annoyed, be quiet, when you're angry, comfort yourself, and when you're sad, give yourself a hug.
Pursue your dreams
Live your life
Comedy superstar Charlie Chaplin, on his 70th birthday, wrote a poem - "When I Learn to Love Myself," which has a paragraph that impresses me:
Each person is born unique, do what you love, don't have to remember the past, don't have to worry about the future, just live in the now.
Pursue your dreams and live your life.
My friend Xiao Jin's family is ordinary, and his father has failed to do business and is in debt.
Everyone in the family wants her to settle down and become a teacher or a civil servant.
Everyone said: "Girls, as a teacher or civil servant is the most popular, and it is easy to find a partner in the future."
But she has always had a dream of speaking English, and she is not willing to settle down, and has a heart for the distant future.
During her college years, she studied English hard, participated in English competitions, and worked as an interpreter for foreigners at the convention center.
Slowly, her English became better and better, and she was recommended by her friends, so she stepped onto a bigger stage, interpreting for many celebrities and big names.
Later, she became a self-media blogger in English, and with the money she earned, she traveled to many places and got into a famous school abroad, realizing her dream.
She said: "Other people say that we have to live in peace, but my character does not like that, I follow my heart, do what I love. That's what life is all about."
If you bloom, the breeze will come.
Don't go chasing a horse, if you spend the time chasing a horse to plant grass, when the spring flowers bloom, you can attract a group of steeds to run to you.
Having an interesting soul and living a meaningful life is not about how old you are, but about what you want to do, even if it's like a shooting star, even if it's just for a moment, it has its own light.
Rejecting others
Obedience to oneself
Sanmao once said, "Don't be afraid to reject others, if one's own reasons out of justification, when a person opens his mouth to make a request, he has long prepared the answer. has already prepared an answer."
Li Xueqin, a graduate of Peking University and a self-disclosed depressive netizen, has also shared her experience of not knowing how to refuse.
She said in an interview that after bursting into the limelight, she received a lot of offers and private messages, but because she didn't know how to refuse, she kept herself busy and eventually had an emotional breakdown.
In another interview, she said, "I can turn people down, but I learned to apologize and make amends."
Li Xueqin's response was, "You've come to me, and I'm doing you a disservice by rejecting you."
This one sentence also speaks to the heart of many people - the fear of rejecting people.
My friend Xiaoxi is always afraid to reject others before, shopping for clothes, the salesman has been recommending clothes to her, she tried on a few pieces and found that she did not like it, but she felt that it took up other people's time, embarrassed to refuse to buy, so that the clothes bought back and do not wear it, a waste of a lot of money.
Her friends want her to help, even if she has her own things, but also agreed to do, often help friends to do things, let her feel physically and mentally exhausted,
Later she found that, even if it is to help their friends unconditionally, friends did not pay special attention to her.
So she changed her mind, and couldn't always be submissive to others for the sake of their preferences.
Although she felt uncomfortable in the beginning, she slowly gained freedom of mind and mutual respect for her friendships.
Now she dares to speak her mind, to reject others, and to follow her heart.
Bi said, "Our lives do not exist because we want to please others."
Set boundaries between yourself and others, and if someone comes up with an idea or request that you don't want to do, then express it directly.
There's a line in "Silent Confessions" that says we spend our lives trying to break free from the expectations of others and find our true selves.
There is no need to look at other people's eyes, and there is no need to be all about pleasing others; instead of caring too much about others, you should care more about yourself.
Let life be simple, not complicated, wait for the flowers to bloom, listen to the rain.
Eat healthy, wear clean, neat and tidy outside, less waves inside.
Parents are well, lovers are around, life is comfortable.
Point at the watch, may you spend the rest of your life, pleasing yourself, chasing after what you love, cultivating your inner self in peace and loneliness, and blooming bravely like a flower!
Author's Note: This article was first published in the Buji uncle (ID: dashu259), a set of reason and emotion, strange and warm single beautiful uncle, focusing on the girls to weave the night's dream. The copyright of the pictures in the article belongs to the original author.