All About My Mother is a movie that greatly poked my tears, which of course has a lot to do with the fact that I'm a very emotional person myself.
Before I wrote this review, I went to Douban to browse around a bit, and to tell you the truth, I was quite surprised.
First of all, its rating is actually only 6.4, I thought it could at least be on 7.5; then most of the content in the comment section is critical, saying that such a movie is just touching itself and has no relevance, and it's hard not to advocate that women have to give everything for their families.
Some netizens said that the way Xu Fan's mother, Ji Peizhen, speaks is too strange, how can she be so whiny; others pointed out that because this is a movie, and the mother died of cancer, so the daughter and the mother are reconciled, but if it is a real-life situation and the mother has been healthy, they are afraid that they will never be reconciled.
The good thing is that if you scroll down, you'll finally see some good reviews, saying that it's very real, and that many of the episodes happened to you and your mom. There is also a netizen to answer the "Ji Pei Zhen way of speaking and voice how so strange" doubt, she said his mother is a teacher, usually speak really is this way.
There is also a detail in the movie that Ji Peizhen, who has always been a soft-spoken person, suddenly scolded her daughter when she saw her sitting on the floor, breaking down and crying, "Don't cry! At that moment, the image of the teacher's anger and authority came out at once, so in fact, you really can't blame Xu Fan for not acting well, this is the character itself.
02
But I still have to say, such a life, really tired. From the beginning to the end all we see is Ji Peizhen giving, and what she gets in return, is close to nothing.
When she was young, she had a job she loved, and it was hard for her to qualify for an expedition to Antarctica, but she found out she was pregnant, so she had to give up and become a geography teacher.
The story of the girl's life is one of a series of stories about a girl's life and how she was born and raised in Beijing, and how she is proud of her daughter's work in Beijing.
The husband is a total absentee at home, not even helping with the kitchen pots and pans, and turning a blind eye to his wife's exhausting efforts to take care of her mother-in-law.
The mother-in-law is suffering from Alzheimer's disease and is like a child. The nanny hired by the family is unable to help her, and every time she has to coax her to eat, she has to do it in a nice way.
She also has a younger brother, who was sent to rehab for drug abuse by the police when he was young, and has been hating her ever since.
Such a life, even as a bystander, for her feel tired. But in which Ji Peizhen, has long been accustomed to all this, she quietly pay, never revealed his dissatisfaction. At the same time, the image she shows has always been positive and optimistic, as if nothing can defeat her, just like all traditional mothers, supporting a family.
Some netizens said that perhaps Ji Peizhen had also fantasized about her retirement life, raising flowers, taking a walk, and dancing squarely, but unfortunately she found out she had cancer before she even started. But I don't think it's as good as the netizens think. After retirement, Ji Peizhen will only be more tired, she needs to accompany her mother-in-law 24 hours a day, take care of the household, help her husband to find leaders to coordinate the work, as well as find ways to care for her daughter far away from Beijing.
A bout of cancer has shattered her original plans. She had a lot of time to take care of her family in a more detailed way, but now that she may only have four months left, she decides to speed up the progress bar and quickly resolve her daughter's lifelong problems.
So the contradiction broke out at once, know three when the three daughters were mom poked the truth after the anger, emotional out of control under the hissing accusation of mother, she said she was to escape from her mother to Beijing, since childhood she annoyed her mother's "care".
At that moment, Ji Peizhen, who always thought she was a good mother, was shocked. It is true that she did not ask for anything in return, but she was satisfied with this self-motivated, but now her daughter ruthlessly broke her illusion. This blow is perhaps even greater than when she learned that she had cancer.
But she pulls herself together, as she has done every time she has been hit in the past, and is ever so strong, even if she is not understood by her daughter, she secretly goes to her daughter's boyfriend, a man who already has a family. When her daughter asked her once again if she could leave her affairs alone, she blurted out, "I'm afraid it's too late." Mother and daughter finally reconcile and embrace.
Even a mom as strong as Ji Peizhen didn't work a miracle in the end, and she ended up leaving the world. The only consolation is that before she left, her mother-in-law seemed to have signs of sobriety, her husband also came out of the trauma of the previous medical accident, and got back on the operating table; her brother turned over a new leaf, and finally began to live a practical life; and her daughter, engaged in the work she once loved, became an Antarctic researcher.
But such a relief, and let a person feel suffocated, everyone's life has become better, and that the most deserving of a good life, but no longer see.
03
After watching the movie, it wasn't my mom I thought of, but my grandmother.
Of course she was not as good as Ji Peizhen, just an ordinary rural woman who couldn't be more ordinary. But if you really write down her life, you will find that she is very similar to Ji Peizhen. Perhaps the life of many women in China is like this.
My grandmother had only two daughters, my mother and my aunt, and she had suffered countless grievances, scolded by her mother-in-law and ridiculed by the village people, for which she only secretly wept behind her back, and then worked even harder.
Auntie is married to a woman in Yunnan Province, she is not worried, and went to Yunnan with Grandpa to help auntie to take care of the business. The first time I saw this, I was able to see the woman's face, and I was able to see the woman's face, and I was able to see the woman's face, and I was able to see the woman's face. But in the end, she still had a conflict with her aunt's mother-in-law, in order not to let her daughter difficult, she did not hesitate to come back with her grandfather.
After coming back, she didn't stay idle, she continued to trade in the storefront that my mom prepared for her, and she learned to make wine and sweet potato flour. The first time I saw this, I was able to get the ball rolling, and I was able to get the ball rolling, and I was able to get the ball rolling, and I was able to get the ball rolling, and I was able to get the ball rolling. The first time, she even called and said that she was trying to figure out how to make bean curd, and when she succeeded, she would send some to us to try.
My grandmother only had an elementary school education, but she loved to study, as long as she wanted to learn, there is nothing she could not learn. However, she is like Ji Peizhen, obviously the body is already very uncomfortable, but always think to endure it. When really can not endure, to the hospital a check, has been back to heaven.
And when she was in the emergency room, her two daughters are far away from home, her husband will only be a hard to cry outside: "You're gone I'm alone can do ah, I can not even cook."
After my grandmother left, I learned a lot of things I didn't know before, such as the fact that she got up at 3:00 or 4:00 a.m. every day to burn the fire to make wine, and once she was too sleepy to fall asleep and didn't watch the fire that almost broke out. I never understood why she had to work so hard to earn money. Obviously, she and Grandpa didn't have to spend any money, and Grandpa still had a pension of more than 3,000 dollars a month, until Auntie cried and said that Grandma often called her, saying that she had to earn more money, so that her two daughters would be under less pressure in the future.
At that moment, I suddenly figured out that perhaps for Grandma, leaving is the best thing for her instead, because living in this world is really too hard. She was slow to swallow her breath in the ICU, but the doctor said the patient's sense of survival was poor. Then I think she didn't take her last breath simply because she wanted to see her two daughters one last time.
This is my grandmother, who, like Ji Peizhen, lived her life only for her family.
04
But my mom was different, or rather she spent the first half of her life like Ji Peizhen, and then changed.
Before my mom turned forty, all her thoughts were also on her family, she brought up her three children, and although she didn't go out to work, she was extremely investment-minded and hoarded countless storefronts and houses.
Then suddenly one day, she felt that she could no longer live with my father like this, so she decisively filed for divorce. The first time I saw this was when I was in the middle of a long journey, and it was a long time ago that I was in the middle of a long journey, and it was a long time ago that I was in the middle of a long journey, and it was a long time ago that I was in the middle of a long journey. The company's business is a very important part of the company's business, and the company's business is a very important part of the company's business, and the company is a very important part of the company's business.
But my mom thinks that it is most important for two people to know each other well when they live their lives, and she has never felt thoughtfulness from my dad since the day we got married, which she thinks is not a normal husband and wife relationship. As for the children, she repeatedly emphasized that even if she divorced my dad, she would still care for the three children as she always did, and she would still be our mom.
When I was young, I also complained about my mom, and even thought that she was too naive, and that she was still yearning for love even though she was over forty. But now, occasionally and her video chat, even through the screen to see her, can feel her from the inside out exudes confidence and happiness, that is her twenty years of married life can not give her. The first thing I'd like to say is that I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get through this, but I'm sure I'm going to be able to get through it.
05
Then I thought of myself. What kind of woman am I going to be in the days ahead?
Perhaps this is what the movie is trying to convey. It is by no means asking all women to live for their families like Ji Peizhen, nor is it criticizing this way of life, it just wants us to think about our own lives in the context of reality.
I don't want to be a housewife, and I don't want to be a strong woman. It's hard to balance work and family at the same time, but we can learn to "call" the other half of the marriage.
Whether it's Ji Peizhen's husband, my grandfather, or my father, their role as husbands is actually missing, so in my marriage, I want to be able to work with my husband to defend our family together.
Let dad be the sky of a family and mom be the ground of a family, so that children can grow up happily and joyfully between this heaven and earth.
As women in the 21st century, we have to learn to sort in this way - ourselves first, our husbands second, our children and parents third (children and parents have to take into account the actual situation, when the children are still small, we put the children in front, and when the children have grown up, parents towards senility, we put the parents in front).
May we all live for ourselves!