Aunt Gao was originally a cheerful and outgoing old man. Since the conflict with her mother-in-law, her husband has been so indifferent to her that even her son is too lazy to pay attention to her. Aunt Gao became silent from that day on. Why is this happening? Things have to start with the death of aunt Gao's mother and father-in-law. The husband and wife have a good relationship and have been loving each other for a lifetime. His wife died of illness. This mother, Aunt Wang, can't accept it. She tried to commit suicide twice, but fortunately her family stopped her. Aunt Gao is warm-hearted, and both children are not at ease at work. She simply took her mother home and chatted with her to relieve boredom, hoping that she would come out early.
For more than half a year, Aunt Wang's bereavement has eased, and the two of them took part in a group tour. They get along well. The daughter-in-law gave her a thumbs-up and thanked her mother-in-law for her companionship and care. It is said that no matter whether you are a relative or a friend, no matter how good the relationship is, you should be measured in your words and deeds. After all, what comes out of your mouth comes from someone close to you.
Aunt Gao treats her in-laws like family members and girlfriends. Out of concern for her in-laws, she suggested that she meet the right person, fall in love and enjoy her old age. Aunt Wang thinks it's wrong. First of all, her husband died just over a year ago, so it's a joke to find a wife. Secondly, she doesn't want to find it. When she is strong, she can live on her own that day and can't move. Aunt Gao said, "In-laws, it's not easy for us women in this life. There is no need to live in other people's eyes. If we meet someone we like, we will bravely pursue happiness.
In fact, I envy your feelings with your in-laws and love them for life. Think about yourself, sometimes it's really a sigh. "Aunt Gao and his wife were introduced by the matchmaker. They didn't have feelings, but both parents agreed. She also had a sweetheart at that time, but everyone moved to other places and it went away. In this case, she is now married to her husband. But these are nothing. Who hasn't loved a person? But there was an episode in the middle, and she actually told Aunt Wang.
Aunt Gao said, "When my son 12 years old, that man came to me. At that time, he was really at a loss and went out to eat. But at the thought that my son can't lose his maternal love, I reluctantly stopped contacting him. I have never told anyone about it. Don't let my wife know Therefore, in-laws, cherish the fate and reduce the burden on children. " Aunt Wang was very unhappy when she heard the last sentence. Although she has only one daughter, she has her own pension and never wants to rely on her children. The purpose of her in-laws to let me find a wife is to regard myself as a burden to my daughter and son-in-law. As the saying goes, the speaker is unintentional and the listener is intentional. From that day on, Aunt Wang and Aunt Gao kept their distance.
Two children had an argument, and two people were torn apart. Aunt Gao's son is busy with work and often travels. Aunt Wang's daughter is very dissatisfied. She quarreled about it many times, and once she quarreled so much that she went straight back to her parents' house. Aunt Gao felt that no matter how busy her son was, she could not neglect her daughter-in-law, so she and her wife took her son to her family. What she didn't expect was that Aunt Wang had been lecturing her son, not saying that her daughter was not good.
Aunt Gao is very angry. The quarrel between husband and wife is not a slap in the face. My mother is unreasonable in protecting calves. She directly said that Aunt Wang was wrong and expressed her opinion. Aunt Wang quarreled with her and pointed to Aunt Gao and said, "fish begins to stink at the head, your son is just like you. Maybe there are other women in his heart. " Tell aunt Gao's secret.
No matter how she explained it, his wife didn't believe it, and his son felt that his mother had humiliated him. The originally harmonious family became lifeless. Aunt Gao said, "Don't treat your in-laws as relatives, let alone be good friends. It is best to be familiar with ordinary friends. Because no matter how good you are to your in-laws, when it comes to your children, you will immediately turn your back on others. Treating my in-laws as relatives is the most regrettable thing in my life. "
There is always a distance between people, especially between in-laws. If you get too close, you will find it easy to leave a message. Once there is a contradiction, the young couple will grab each other's small tail and fight back. If you go far, it will be more suitable for your in-laws. If you don't know each other very well, you will be more respectful when you speak and do things. Don't make trouble for the children, and don't participate in the affairs of the young couple. Just be polite.
In fact, there are not a few people like Aunt Gao who think that in-laws are not outsiders. In order to increase intimacy, they actively express their emotions, attitudes, thoughts and feelings to each other. In psychology, this process is called self-exposure. Through this way of sharing information with others, we can get each other's reaction and let them deepen their understanding, trust, recognition and care.
Although self-disclosure can enhance our relationship, it also brings us risks, that is, losing control, and the other party may use the information we provide to control us. Aunt Wang used Aunt Gao's secret to control and fight back, and finally Aunt Gao was defeated by her mother. You know, everyone has a "selfish side", and when it comes to their own interests, they will unconsciously defend themselves. This is the result of human nature, so no matter who you get along with, you should know that you will lose them if you talk too much.