Wen/Lan Ma talk about parenting
It is said that the most difficult thing in a woman's life is to get married, give birth to a child and bring up a child, it is rare to get married and find the man of your choice; it is rare to give birth to a child and have contractions; it is rare to bring up a child and have a wasted time in a housewife's life; however, with the high standard of living and high demand for material goods, more and more mothers are devoting themselves to the career after giving birth to a baby. But these moms are happy in their careers and have independent economies, but they have to face the problem of "wanting to take care of the baby in-laws and afraid to live together".
Cousin Yuran is a happy woman in everyone's eyes, because her mother-in-law has been living with her son and daughter-in-law since the birth of her granddaughter, and not only does she have her own independent finances, but she can go home and sleep with her daughter at night, which is a great combination of career, family, and parental companionship.
Speaking of which, there may be a lot of "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflict" including myself are very puzzled, that is, every day to live under one's roof, how to maintain good relations between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, after all, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relations since ancient times is the "enemy of heaven!
So, how do you avoid mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts?
The other day and the cousin of the video chat to find the answer, it turned out that cousin and her mother-in-law did not live under one roof, but in the neighborhood less than ten minutes away from a single room rented a room to the mother-in-law to live, the cousin of the mother-in-law when she went to work to "go to work" to take care of the baby, the cousin of the off The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world, and then you'll be able to get your hands on some of the most popular ones.
In this way, it is like "on and off" with children in a way that lasts for three years, and this three-year period of their lives not only regular and very harmonious, of course, between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can not be completely free of contradictions, except that we do not have a completely main living under one roof, a lot of small contradictions each with their own things a busy, so there is no "next to nothing", but also the "next to nothing". There is also no "overnight revenge", in the small things can fade with time in the life of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts are naturally silently dissolved.
After listening to my cousin's description, my heart quickly rose with envy. In my opinion, my cousin's family embodied the "on and off" mode of bringing up children, and there are several rare benefits:
1, the child's sense of well-being is stronger
The child's sense of well-being is stronger than that of the child.
In the child's growth, it can be said that parental love is indispensable, to have a father's love, mother's love and have enough parent-child companionship of the child, in the life of the sense of happiness can be said to be like the growth of them with the step, if we carefully observe the words, we will find that the children living next to the parents tend to have a self-confident and optimistic character, living next to the grandparents of the child tends to be strong but also low. The children are often strong, but also low self-esteem.
Parents and grandparents with children of different character formation, mainly from the child's sense of well-being, of course, not to say that the love of grandparents is not enough, but because the father's love and the mother's love are irreplaceable unique existence, if the old man to follow the parents around to help care for the child, so that the child to grow up around the parents tend to be a little bit stronger sense of well-being.
2, reducing the generation of parenting contradictions
The elderly to help bring up children, in fact, if the big view to sort out will find that there is no big contradiction, most of the part of the disconnect is from the different views of parenting, the old man has a set of experience, the young people have a new type of scientific parenting, in the everyone said that they have their own reasons, all want to The first thing you need to do is to get a good understanding of how to use the Internet and how to use the Internet in a way that will make it easier for you to get around.
The best way to reduce intergenerational parenting conflicts at this time is to have their own things, during the day when the young people are busy with their careers, and at night the elderly have their own life group, such as dancing, playing mahjong or KK song, which will make their respective lives regular, busy, as long as the elderly and the young people on both sides of the no longer tightly focused on the child not to let go, naturally, because of the concept of a parenting and tightly locked up. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
3, reducing the old man's inner inequality
Life, there is also a part of the voice of "young people do not allow mothers-in-law to take children", as a past mother, I personally think that those "do not allow" is just not able to give up children.
Plus the old man with a baby and clean up housework "nanny life", in the emotional needs will also be more sensitive to some of the contradictory body will be spread in a tense atmosphere, if the old man during the day to help with the baby, and at night have their own things to do, then such a regular life can be perfect to let grandma! "Give way", reduce the heart aggrieved and upset not to mention, young mothers and fathers also have plenty of time to improve parent-child relationship.
4, enhancement of conjugal love, improve the quality of life
Speaking of the quality of family life, in addition to parenting issues in addition to the most important is the conjugal love, in the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law conflict war can be said to be the man inside the home "outside the man", after all, the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law dispute, whether it's a woman or a man, the man is not a man, but the woman is not a man, the man is not a man. In the battle of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, whether it is a daughter-in-law complaining, or the old lady complaining is to add salt and vinegar, coupled with the "wife can be changed again, mother only one" is not false, it can be said that tense mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship family is very difficult to produce harmonious husband and wife relationship.
If the mother-in-law during the day to help take care of the children, the night back to their own independent room to rest, not under one roof life involved, but also to the two couples left to cultivate feelings of private space, so that young people can live a free life to enhance the couple's relationship, not to mention that, but also to improve the harmony of the family, including the quality of life.
Of course, the perfect way to bring up children can not avoid the occurrence of family conflicts, the ultimate way to alleviate family conflicts or the need for mutual respect, understanding and tolerance, take the "on and off" this way of bringing up children, the need is to respect and understand each other, if the young people to the elderly to arrange for "independence". If the young people to the elderly to arrange "independent" space to rest, and the elderly are sensitive to think "this is to be disliked", then the embodiment of the good intentions to do a bad thing the source of the conflict.
So a good harmonious family must need mutual understanding and respect, young people tolerate the elderly, the elderly to understand the young, this is the secret of a harmonious home ...... your home have?
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I'm Lanmama, an author who specializes in the field of parenting, and who records moments of parenting with personal examples and various examples of homeschooling, friends who like it are welcome to pay attention to @LanmamaTalksParenting @LanmamaTalksParenting.
This is the first time I've been to a school in the United States!