In the 21st century, who is not lonely?
This sentence has become the most familiar words in our ears since it was mentioned. It has been brought up more than once every time I talk to my friends about what's on my mind.
It is true that people, no matter what class they are in, face an emotional challenge. It doesn't matter if you are successful or alone, the loneliness inside is mostly hard to bury.
Some special groups of people, such as the elderly, in particular, are also the main group of people I want to talk about today.
In a family, the elderly play a role, like the over-the-top Netflix.
When they were young, they were the backbone of the family, the parents, with the main decision-making power in their hands.
However, by the time their children grow up and become parents, the children's focus begins to center around their own children, their own family.
The elderly, more than a marginalized group in society, are also marginalized figures in the family, and their inner loneliness can be imagined.
Su Daqiang in "It's All Good", I believe we all have a deep impression. Putting aside the funny look of the trickster, he is actually a neglected old man, so much so that the simple company of a nanny and a few words of recognition make him feel that he is being paid attention to, his self-confidence is bursting and he thinks love is coming.
The characters of the movie and TV drama are in fact the epitome of the real characters. Maybe the real old man, who plays the trick is not as cute as Su Daqiang, but the loneliness is not necessarily less than Su Daqiang's. The old man, who is not as cute as Su Daqiang, is not necessarily as lonely as Su Daqiang.
01
Shen Ling and Liu Junjie are coworkers in an office of comparable age, the male is handsome, the female is beautiful, and it's a good match.
The beginning of an office romance is often a suitable sentence in people's mouths, and after hearing more, the two of them became curious about each other.
And I don't know who first took the initiative, the two began to frequent contact, and I don't know who first took the initiative, the relationship is so fixed.
The so-called "immortal couple" may be such people.
Shen Ling is twenty-six years old this year, Liu Junjie than her older than two years old, said it is also marriageable age, soon began to talk about marriage.
Shen Ling's nature is more generous, think of what to say, the first to open the mouth, to take Liu Junjie home, meet their parents.
The family ate a meal, Shen Ling's parents on the Liu Junjie this somewhat shy man quite like, the conditions are also considered to be the right family, Shen Ling before leaving, her mother also secretly pulled her aside and said: "young man is quite good, you're good to others, do not make sex."
Shen Ling a bashful, back to the sentence "ah, I know" and rushed away.
Seeing Shen Ling's shyness, her parents were a bit relieved, but also a bit sad. The company's main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers," he said.
02
Shen Ling has made a good start, and it's a qualitative leap forward for their relationship.
Of course, although Liu Junjie is a bit shy, but his emotional intelligence is not too low, and he also immediately talked to his own parents and made arrangements to bring Shen Ling home for dinner on the weekend.
Shen Ling was also very happy, and girlfriends to discuss half a day, picked out a set of good-looking and decent clothes, bought a small gift in advance.
At the end of the week, Shen Ling went to Liu Junjie's house.
When the door opened, it was the future mother-in-law who opened the door, "You are Shen Ling, right? Good boy, come in and sit down."
Shen Ling was also sweet-talking, "Hello Auntie, I'm bothering you."
The two of them were polite, before Shen Ling noticed Liu Junjie's father, sitting on the sofa watching TV.
Shen Ling also greeted nicely, but this future father-in-law, just nodded. Shen Ling was a bit embarrassed.
03
Liu Junjie's mother rushed over and said with a smile, "Don't mind it haha, this old man is like this."
Shen Ling also smiled and said it was okay, which eased the situation.
Shen Ling and Liu Junjie also sat on the sofa and chatted in low voices, while Liu Junjie's mother shouted and called the old man to help in the kitchen.
But not long after, the sound of two people arguing came, and it was vaguely audible that it was Liu Junjie's mother, blaming Liu Junjie's father for his lack of understanding of the world and his coldness to Shen Ling.
Hearing this, it made Shen Ling feel even more embarrassed, and her face turned red all of a sudden.
Junjie Liu, sensing Shen Ling's embarrassment, snorted and went into the kitchen as well, which calmed down the argument between the two old men.
The meeting with the parents, although a little awkward at the beginning, but later quite smooth, which also let Shen Ling a long breath of relief.
04
After meeting the parents, Shen Ling found a problem.
Liu Junjie's parents, feelings are not deep. It was obvious that the two were like enemies, except for bickering, there was no normal communication.
Shen Ling also found that the careful Shen Ling, Liu Junjie's parents are sleeping in separate rooms, because he found Liu Junjie's study also put a bed, there is a "old man smell", obviously the two old man a permanent resident.
Shen Ling told her best friend about the incident, and her best friend also thought about it, but ultimately did not say anything.
It was clear that Shen Ling was curious about the relationship between her future in-laws. After all, children born in harmonious families have an instinctive aversion to arguments and conflicts between people.
But after all, they were elders, plus the fact that middle-aged couples themselves were seldom enamored of each other, so thinking about it, Shen Ling didn't care so much.
05
Soon, the two had been together for half a year.
Occasionally, Shen Ling would go to Liu Junjie's house for dinner, and every time she went there, Shen Ling felt that the atmosphere was not good, obviously a large family, often quiet and weird.
Shen Ling every time after dinner, will whisper to urge her boyfriend, hurry to find an excuse to take her to escape.
In fact, Liu Junjie was annoyed by the way his parents got along, but with a strong mother and an inarticulate father, he himself was shy and found it hard to communicate with them.
Shen Ling is also very straightforward, often asking her boyfriend about his future in-laws, but every time Liu Junjie just sighs and doesn't say much.
06
On one occasion, Shen Ling and her boyfriend were at the office, and the two of them were ordering takeout and eating it with a smile on their faces.
Liu Junjie suddenly received a phone call, his face turned pale, said something at home, and ran out the door.
On the way, he sent a few messages to Shen Ling, looking at Shen Ling a head two big.
"My parents are having a divorce."
"I don't know the specifics, it's annoying."
"Give my boss a vacation for me."
......
Shen Ling helped her boyfriend write a leave of absence form, and also wrote one for herself.
Originally, she wanted to go and take a look, but walking out of the company's front door, she thought carefully about it, after all, she was still an outsider, and it was not appropriate for her to get involved in something like this.
So she diverted to her girlfriends, intending to talk to them about it.
07
While chatting with her girlfriends, Shen Ling's cell phone rang, and it was John Liu.
Shen Ling avoided her girlfriends and answered the phone.
Boyfriend was on the other end of the line, telling a news-like story.
Liu Junjie's mother and father, both like to square dance, but because of their twisted relationship, but neither together, their own small group.
Possibly because of emotional incompatibility, the child is also older, both have their own compatible.
Originally, it was just a matter of chatting and dancing, but a "good man" mentioned it to the old man, who ran to the man's house and found that his partner was at another old man's house, cooking for someone.
The old man was furious, and pulled the old lady home, shouting for a divorce, not realizing that the old lady knew all about herself, and the two revealed their shortcomings to each other, and said a red face.
Let the rushed son, listened to a downcast.
08
These two old men completely broke up, the old man moved back to his hometown, and the old lady lived at home by herself.
Soon, also really divorced. The more people fall through the glasses is that the old man and the old lady, are with the new good-looking on.
Such a thing, really is to do children's worry.
Liu Junjie in those months like a few years old, originally quite mild and cheerful a person, temperament are anxious a lot.
This thing is a mess, should have been put on the schedule of the wedding, but also unlimited delay, which makes Shen Ling also secretly anxious, but never dare and Liu Junjie said, can only find girlfriends complain.
Shen Ling put her boyfriend's family's bad things to say to her girlfriends to listen to, originally wanted to let her girlfriends out of the idea, did not expect her girlfriends to listen to the end of the brow tightly.
"Xiaoling, I don't think you can marry him."
When her best friend said this, Shen Ling was also very strange. Liu Junjie's character is very good , never girlfriends only say envy and so on, today is the first time to voice opposition.
"Xiaoling, Liu Junjie's family, obviously is incomplete. Although his parents hadn't divorced before, neither of them loved each other, and it's hard to teach John Liu how to love someone when he's growing up without a good demonstration of how to get along as a couple."
"It may not be exposed now, but I think you should be cautious, it's good to get married later, and watch him more."
09
Best friend's words, like a voice from heaven, spoke to Shen Ling's heart.
Shen Ling then realized that every time she went to her boyfriend's house for dinner, the uncomfortable and uncomfortable feeling came from her worries about her boyfriend's family of origin.
Shen Ling immediately put down her anxiety and accompanied her boyfriend to channel her emotions while observing his behavior.
Shen Ling's intentional observation really allowed her to discover some of her boyfriend's problems.
For example, Liu Junjie's emotions are difficult to channel and he is not good at confiding, always isolating himself and digesting slowly.
For example, when the two **** together, the boyfriend will always find something to do, such as playing the phone, that is to say, even if it is a two-person world, the boyfriend's attention will not be on themselves.
This made Shen Ling a bit annoyed and angry.
However, in comparison, Shen Ling decided to communicate with her boyfriend about these problems and try to solve them. After all, her boyfriend is still a pretty good guy and has a foundation for her relationship, so it's not worth it to break up just because of this kind of thing.
10
A few months past, the boyfriend's family things, but also come to an end, the two of the wedding date, re-introduced on the schedule.
The most surprising thing is that when I saw my boyfriend's parents again, I found that the old man, who was originally a man of few words, was a lot more cheerful.
Originally a short-tempered old lady, there is also a bit of a benevolent flavor.
It can be seen that in the original both sides are not satisfied with the marriage, the two old man repressed for a long time, finally in the marriage dissolution, get catharsis.
Shen Ling was also surprised to discover the change in mood of her future in-laws, but quickly understood how much courage they had in their originally unappreciated impulses.
Thinking of this, Shen Ling couldn't help but have a little respect for the two old men as well.
11
In Bu Cai's opinion, this is a two-generation marriage problem.
The problem that is more likely to arise in the older generation's model of marriage is what is known as the will-o'-the-wisp.
Besides the question of love or not, the most critical, or personality fit.
Without love may not make a good couple, but may become good friends, help each other in life.
But the incompatibility of character often evolves into enemies.
This type of family of origin is most likely to have an effect on the child's character.
I have a friend whose mother and father's personalities are somewhat similar to those of the in-laws in today's story, but his mother's personality is a little stronger and his father is more cowardly.
In his mother's oppressive education, he is very painful, twenty-six years old this year, he also has a door ban one, eight o'clock in the evening not to the home, his mother took the life of a chain of buttons.
So much so, he is a good kid in front of his parents, and we go out to play on all kinds of rebellion, as long as the parents do not like, he has to do it all over again. Like getting tattoos, getting into fights, and coloring his hair.
But as soon as he had to go home, he dyed his hair back.
So in Bujai's opinion, the biggest blessing we can have right now is that we live in a time when divorce is not a white-knuckle affair, but of course, not enough is being done about it.
12
And then there's the question of whether to break up because your partner's family of origin isn't sound enough?
This kind of thing is actually somewhat similar to prejudice.
Family of origin is just a place where a person grows up, but it doesn't mean that family of origin is all a person has.
We grow up in environments that have a major impact on the molding of our character, in addition to our family, but also our school, society, etc., etc.
And most people's families of origin have problems of one kind or another.
And one of the things we have to do in our life is to erase the bad character components of our family of origin, or, so to speak, to reconcile with our family of origin.
Well, I'm going to share this with you today, and if you have something to say, leave a message in the comments section and interact with us~