This novel, once remade into a TV series. The heroine is played by Zhang Junning, and the male lead is played by Zhong Hanliang, which is still very appropriate, and the male lead is slightly less sunny. The main character is slightly less sunny.
This is a book about love and courage. Its message of love, courage, fear, parting, pain, and strength is real.
The synopsis of the story is like this: Su Man, a white-collar woman, has been in love with Song Yiyi for eleven years, they are in the same high school, the same university, and Song Yiyi has not noticed Su Man. The story goes like this: "The girl has been in love with her for eleven years.
Who would have thought that after seven years of going to the United States, Song Yiyi came back. Because of love, Su Man decided to give up the current management position, resigned, entered the MG company, do a small staff, in order to and Song Yiyi relative to the night and day.
In the process, another executive, Lu Li Cheng, slowly fell in love with Su Man, a lively and bright girl. The company's first step is to create a new generation of people who will be able to work together with the company's partners.
Later, they discover Song Yiyi's secret: his ex-girlfriend is Xu Renshang's sister, Xu Qiu, and he is with Xu Renshang to atone for his sins.
And Xu Renxiang hates her half-sister Xu Qiu.
Where does the hatred come from? Because Xu Qiu has been bullying her since she was a child.
And Xu Qiu's hatred, the origin, when she was three years old, after her mother died, her father did not ask for her consent, and then took Xu Renfang's mother. When she saw the woman with a slightly bulging belly, Xu Qiu hated the woman who took her father, and hated the child in her belly.
Xu Qiu is pitiful; since the beginning, she has lived in darkness, and she has killed the possibility of her own happiness with the hate in her heart.
The mystery is revealed in Xu Qiu's notebook at the end. Her life is filled with hatred and teasing of her stepmother and sister, as her mother passed away and her father neglected her, and the family is often accompanied by two sisters and an aunt. She is ostensibly the demure, intelligent girl that everyone loves, but in reality, she knows how to manipulate others and takes pleasure in tormenting her sister and manipulating others. She doesn't want to be like this, but there is no light in her life. Until she meets Song Yiyi, a sunny boy who shines into her heart like a ray of sunshine. But she thought she didn't deserve the light, she only deserve to stay in the darkness. When Song Yiyi asked her to go to Yellowstone Park, to talk about the breakup, the accident happened, Xu Qiu gone.
Xu Qiu's death gave Song Yi a big blow. He has been living in guilt, blaming himself, shutting down his heart, self-punishment, and still can't get over it after a few years. The first time I saw her, she was like a young girl with a sword, cutting the shackles on his body and rescuing him from that prison with its high walls. When his heart awakened little by little, when he slowly found the previous sunny and confident self, in his unpreparedness, met Xu Renfeng, with the atonement of the heart and Xu Renfeng dating, y hurt himself and her and Su Man.
Luckily, there is a reconciliation in the end. The wedge of reconciliation lies in Xu Qiu's diary. From her diary, she saw the helplessness, pain, and confusion in her heart on the way to growth, and saw that after she grew up, she was faced with Song Yiyi's inner conflict with another him (the one who brought her down), and whether to look for the light or to jump to the darkness, Xu Qiu's heart has been in the pain of searching for it. Before she could grasp the light, she left and flung herself into the darkness forever. At the last moment of her death, she said that she would donate her kidney to her sister. It was a way for her to gain reconciliation with herself.
Let's talk about Xu Renfeng again. She grew up living under the shadow of Xu Qiu. Growing up she was the little one behind her unnoticeable sister. Everyone saw Xu Qiu's intelligence and cleverness, and no one's eyes could see her. Xu Qiu repeatedly hit her, saying that she was the product of her father's failure to control his male impulses, saying that she was stupid and worthless, and that her early years had been spent in suppression. God knows how hard it took her to appear normal (and pretend to be normal) to others. When she learns that her kidney came from Xu Qiu, she subconsciously rejects it and is on the verge of death. At the end Su Man saves her, after Su Man reads Xu Qiu's diary, she has a conversation with Xu Renfeng, she says: "You obviously don't want to paint because you think you're ugly, but you won't admit it, you say you don't like painting anymore, you obviously give up because you can't dance well, but you say it's because you don't like the teacher, you have to have an excuse for every time you give up, and you never refuse to admit that the reason is just you. "
"How did Xu Qiu harm you? Did she personally take the paintbrush away from you? Did she personally ask your dance teacher not to teach you? Did she personally ask you not to listen in class? She is ultimately the external cause, you are the internal cause! All choices are yours to make. External factors influence internal factors, but they can never make decisions for internal factors. Now you're tired, you're disappointed, you're weary, and you're planning to give up again, and the reason is Xu Qiu again!"
"Xu Qiu's presence forced you to mature prematurely, you had other choices many times, but the choices you made were all about giving up! We have all learned the story of Edison's little bench, Edison faced the ridicule of the whole class, can frankly say I do now has been better than the last, why can't you say to Xu Qiu: 'I do indeed do not do well now, but I will be better than now next time.' Perhaps, it is too harsh for me to say so! But I want you to understand that Xu Qiu will always be the external cause, you yourself are the internal cause, it is you who chose to give up everything!"
See here, I more and more y understand the importance of psychology. The lack of companionship and attention in childhood, this pain will accompany the child for a lifetime, so that she produces a sense of low value that does not deserve. No matter how good her grades are or how well she performs, her heart is gray and she can't be happy from the bottom of her heart. The solution is to love her, pay attention to her, support her, and protect her. I recalled what Ms. Song said to a visitor (the child's mother) in a parenting course: "I am not your child's counselor, but the mother is the best counselor for the child". Mom's smile and unconditional tolerance of the child, that stable feeling of being supported, can give the child great courage to face and surpass the difficulties in life.
At the same time, I also realize more and more the healing method in psychology: go back to your childhood, go back to the thing that happened at that time, face it objectively, and interpret it with an adult's eyes. When you really see the events that hurt you at that time, you can really save yourself.
Fortunately, Xu Renfeng finally realized that the hand that gave up, is himself. Ultimately Song Yiyi also recognized, he actually does not love Xu Qiu, he has recognized that Xu Qiu is not suitable for him. So many years of indifference, simply because of his guilt over Xu Qiu's death, not out of love.
When everyone is honest with themselves, with their feelings, and honestly puts it out there, this is the only way to get a real reconciliation, and ultimately also follow their hearts and meet their own happiness.
The spiritual realization in the last part of the book made me overjoyed. Tong Hua's book is worth reading more than once.