1. In my pocket is the key you left me, every time I use it to open the door, how I wish you were still sitting on the sofa, smoking cigarettes, both that is, not a word is good, as long as you are still there, nothing is important.
As long as you are still .......
The first time I met Ray was in a bar I can't remember the name of, and I drank a lot. I actually don't like
this kind of lights and greenery, but I fell out of love; it's not really the first time I fell out of love, but I hate to be cheated on,
why do boys always love to cheat?
Alcohol anesthetized my brain and someone handed me a packet of something to try, I put it in my mouth without thinking and in the next few seconds felt my body rapidly arousing, it seemed to be burning with flames, the urge to let off steam
and to dance. So I stepped into the center of the dance floor and danced like crazy ......
I had no idea how over the top I was.
I only know that all of a sudden my feet left the ground, and a pair of strong hands stopped and picked me up, ignoring my
slap, carrying me out of that bar.
That was the first time I was "carried" by a strange man, and the first time I lost my reserve and defense.
When I got to Ray's house, I was thrown into a leather chair, and my head still hurt, but I was much more alert.
In the haze of smoke I saw Ray, sitting on an inflatable couch, smoking a cigarette.
His first impression on me was definitely that of a hooligan: a cigarette held diagonally, disoriented eyes, furrowed brow, skin
surprisingly fair,, and a dragon tattooed on his right upper arm.
"You're a gangster?" This is the first time I spoke to him, childish to the point that I myself can not collect my mouth.
Ray just looked at me with a disdainful look.
"You're so young, you don't live a good life, you go be a gangster." I started to get worried about my
well being when I came to my full senses, and while I was purely running out of words, I surreptitiously looked around at my surroundings, considering
how to get out of it.
Ray replaced a cigarette and held it in his mouth, pivoting away from the table littered with clutter and finding a disposable lighter he struck
a fire and took a hard drag.
"Looks like you're the one taking ecstasy at the bar!" He spoke up. "How can you talk about other
people when you're not even a good person yourself?"
I couldn't help but feel scared that what I had just taken turned out to be ecstasy.
"I, I ...... didn't mean it." My face burned a little, if my family knew I was eating this stuff it would be miserable
.
"First time at a bar?" He asked me.
I nodded.
"Don't go to places like that alone as a girl from now on!"
I suddenly didn't feel like Ray was a bad guy again. He looked like he was only twenty-five or twenty-six years old like me, so how did he get into the
triad.
"Where's home, I'll send you back!"
"No, I'll walk by myself." I busily stood up and headed for the door.
I gently closed the door outside, relieved that he didn't hurt me.
Ray was staying in a room in an apartment, on about the fifth floor, and I got downstairs only to realize that I didn't recognize this place at all
I had no idea how to get home.
Standing on the side of the road, I had a headache.
Footsteps came from behind me, I turned around and it was Ray.
He did not say a word, towards my right hand side, I do not know why I will follow him, from his back
back to see, he is not tall, but his shoulders are very broad, walking with a kind of angsty masculinity. I can't help but
follow him silently.
Finally arrived in a crowded place, I mention the heart also put down, Ray stopped a cab, in pulling open the door of the
time, I hesitantly turned my head to him and said: "Tonight ........ Thank you. What's your name? ......"
He raised his eyebrows, a teasing expression on his face, and said, "There's no need to know my name, I'm just a
gangster."
I opened my mouth to say something, and was momentarily stumped for words when he laughed and came up to my ear and whispered, "Tell you what, your
waist is so soft."
My face suddenly turned red, and I turned my head in anger and got into the car, slamming the door hard and ordering the driver to drive.
2. I went back to this house every day, every piece of furniture I wiped clean, every cup and every magazine I put according to your
rules, your bed I will get neat and tidy, even the ** tube I put in the original position, I am afraid that
one day you come back to the strangeness of the ......< /p>
When I got home that day, my father knew that I had gone to the bar and scolded me severely. He said how can a policeman's daughter
go to a place like that.
Dad is a police officer, and is a captain, by him to catch countless bad guys, and then let him know that I and a
a hooligan stay together, the consequences are really unimaginable.
After only a few hours of sleep I had to get up and go to work, opening my closet I picked out an apple green sheath dress,
while putting on my make-up I suddenly realized that last night Ray's inflatable couch was green.
Why do you think about that man? He and I are just casual acquaintances, we are simply people from two worlds. I
smiled at the mirror, put on my delicate white leather shoes and carried my bag out the door.
When I arrived at the building where my company was located, I ran into Jia Ming while squeezing the elevator. For the first time, I felt an overwhelming distaste for the pink shirt he always wore
. The clothes are so well-dressed. In a flash of lightning, I thought of Ray again.
After work, I stopped by my dad's police station.
Before I went there, I never thought that my second meeting with Ray would be there.
He still had - on his hands - handcuffs. His head was still bleeding and there were signs of a struggle all over his body.
I couldn't avoid it, and was stunned that Ray would recognize me.
But Ray just looked at me, and I was grateful that he wasn't talking to me.
"Dad, what law did that man just commit?" I asked my dad when I was at home.
"Carrying poison, but it was gone when we collected him."
"So how did it go, then?" I asked eagerly.
"Let him go first, girls don't ask so many questions."
I was relieved to hear that he was released, I don't know how I could worry about such a little rascal.
I refused to admit how much that smirking expression of his killed me.
It must have been the ghost! I actually bought fruit to go see Ray. But I forgot his home.
I can only first take a cab to the last time he sent me on the car place and then slowly by memory to find his house, fortunately I
memory is not bad.
Standing in front of his door, my hand stretched out and back, I really do not have the courage to knock. Have I lost my mind
? Why do you care so much about a punk who frequents the police station? On balance, I turned to leave when the door
suddenly opened.
He saw me and was taken aback.
"I ...... came to see you."
He didn't answer me either, opening the door and letting a crack for me to come in.
"Something wrong?" Ray asked me. On his face, it wasn't clear whether it was boredom or joy, it seemed cold
"I saw you injured at the police station and came to check on you."
"That man is your father!"
"Uh-huh!"
"A cop dad and you come to see me, a gangster?"
"I don't believe you carry drugs!"
"Why?" His demeanor seemed a bit stern as he looked me in the eye.
"You saved me last time, so I don't believe it." I mumbled, wincing a little.
Ray laughed dismissively.
It was the first time Ray had ever smiled at me. Even though it was that dismissive, he smiled at me.
At that moment I had an unprecedented feeling, as if fate had arranged something I could not predict
, waiting in my front road. Maybe it was full of thorns.
But how could I have predicted it? I just thought that I had been hit by love
3. I cleaned the wound on his head, clumsily put on the gauze, wrapped it around loosely, and when my hand shook, the gauze
globule fell to the ground with a splat.
He looked at me, frowned, and reached down to pick up the gauze from the floor, patted it, and wrapped it around his head himself, and I
looked at him in embarrassment, not realizing that he had skillfully, almost elegantly, bandaged himself up, loosely, much more comfortably than
the mummy I had wrapped it around.
Presumably he's practiced from bruising so often! I thought.
"You should stop being a punk and get a job!" I advised him.
He just looked at me. He started to look around for cigarettes again.
Finally, I found one for him, touched a lighter to light it, inhaled y, and asked, "What do you do
? Name?"
I felt an indisputable heat on my face, and whispered, "My name is Shen Junwei, and I ......."
He suddenly laughed and almost choked on his cigarette, "Did I hear you right, your name is Shen Junwei? Buick Junwei of Jun
Wei?"
My face finally turned completely red to the root of my neck. Almost through gritted teeth, I said, "So what? Can't you call it that
name? Who says a girl should be called Fang ah Xia? ......"
He tried his best to hold back his laughter, shook his head, and said, "At least no girl around me has that kind of name, what did your
parents do to you?"
I avoided his gaze and said, "My father is a police officer and wanted a boy to take over his job of punishing*
weeding out evil. Unfortunately, I'm a girl, short and bad at sports, I'm not even qualified to enroll in the police academy."
He exhaled a smoke ring, "Punish* and weed out evil? When the police can punish the evil? Or rather, punish *evil* people like me
?"
"No! You don't look like a bad person!" I blurted out in a rush.
"Why!"
"Intuition! Girls haunted this cross-legged choke Polygonum cynical mold ?br He looked at me coldly for a few seconds, and fiercely
said: "Little yellow girl, what do you know? You wear pretty suits all day long, go in and out of high-class office buildings, and
consider yourself a little Bourgeois. Do you know how many people die in this city every day? And how many
girls your age do drugs, sell*, or even disappear overnight?"
His words sent a chill through my body. Yes, there was so much I didn't know.
And he said, "At least the girls around me." Around him, there are a lot of girls?
But my mouth is still hard: "What do not know, is not just a fight?"
At that moment the door opened and a man entered, with dyed red hair and wearing black tight pants.
"Ray ......" he called out, then snorted when he realized I was standing behind Ray.
"You woman?"
I bit my lip, hating his choice of words.
"I'm his friend!" I said to the guy who came in.
"Hey Ray, you don't tell me when you have a woman" The guy didn't even bother with me.
"Don't talk shit you kid!"
"It's a hit, big brother says you're so desperate to protect that shipment, he's going to mention you!"
"Ching!" He stopped Ching's words harshly.
I know that Ray was disgusted that I was there and it was inconvenient. But I still wanted him to talk a bit more, so that I could understand this
rogue a bit more.
.
4. I have stood on this rooftop countless times, looking back at Ray pulling my hand and sitting here, if only he could appear
appear, appear once again just fine, let me feel his breath ......
I told my best friend Halen that I knew someone like Ray, she laughed at me if I'm crazy!
Ray wasn't bad by nature, and I said I wanted to save him.
Halen laughed so hard her beautiful curls trembled. "I said you're off your meds. Don't tell me you don't know what Ka Ming
has in mind for you."
I stirred the coffee in my cup and said, "Of course I know, but I don't like Ka Ming"
She said something in French, I didn't understand what it meant, probably an exclamation.Halen, unlike me,
has a good family, is highly competent, is pretty and smart, and is extremely strong, she is
These are the first time I've ever seen a woman in the world who has been in the world for a long time, and I've never seen her in the world before.
She persuaded me to accept Jia Ming, but also just think we are suitable, and Ray.
I craned my head to look out the big glass window at the cars coming and going, and said nothing. I'm in love with Ray and don't need anyone
's permission or support. I had to get him out of the life he was living now.
Then I went to where he lived every day, helping him organize his things and cook. I think he will be touched
one day, and when he is, he will be a good person for me.
Ray also got used to my presence, although he never said anything, but I saw in his eyes love
and care.
"Why are you so nice to me?" Ray asked me.
"Because I wish, in this life, I could save one man. A man I love."
He floated that smile I'd caught again, "Save me?" .
"You may not be able to save me!"
"I won't know until I try!" I wrung out the clothes in the basin and headed for the balcony, only to realize that it was
raining outside.
He walked up to the balcony as well and helped me dry my clothes on a bamboo pole, saying, "It's actually raining pretty hard! I never
have an umbrella, did you bring one?"
After hesitating for a moment, I decided to lie. I told him that I didn't have an umbrella either, and could I not go, and he looked at me with
big eyes.
I finally stayed.
I lied to my dad and said I was sleeping at a friend's house!
I kept talking that night, about my childhood, about my cop dad, about my cheating boyfriend...
...
"You hate your boyfriend a lot?" He asked me!
"Well, he has his foot in both worlds! I hate it when people cheat on me!"
He's always been so noncommittal. Smoking in silence and gazing at me with such deep eyes.
"Let's not talk about him, let's talk about you! Do you have a girlfriend yet?" I wanted him to talk.
"Of course I have." He said, then said, "I'll take you somewhere"
Then he pulled me up to the rooftop.
It wasn't wide, but it was a luxurious piece of heaven compared to this dense steel forest. I closed my eyes
and took a deep breath; the air seemed fresh and sweet after the rain.
He caught me off guard and kissed me, I felt his warm and dominant lips, very secure lips. His
hands were very strong, and I loved the way he wrapped his arms around me like that, around my soft waist, around me until I couldn't move.
He said he comes up to the rooftop when he's stressed, it's empty and makes you feel free, and I said you're
fighting every day, of course you're stressed, so why don't you wash your hands soon?
He still didn't answer me positively, just said how easy it is to talk about.
He had a small room on the rooftop, but he wouldn't let me in, and he wouldn't let me tell anyone that the room was
his. I asked him why, and he said it was a place for him to fool around with other women.
At that time, my heart felt an immense sharp pain, and seemed to have a brief suffocation. He didn't hide his past,
didn't hide the fact that he was a hooligan, but my heart still hurt so, so much.
He saw my miserable expression, sighed, took me in his arms, sniffed my hair y, and
said, "Someday, when someday I'll take you in."
I told him I never wanted to go in there, didn't want to know.
There is another place where you can't go is his studio, it's on the opposite side of this building, on the fourth floor, and it's just visible from the fifth floor on this
side, and he's very alert, and not a lot of people know about his home, and a lot of people know about his studio
, which means that he can keep an eye on his studio from his own home.
It's a good thing that I'm not a big fan of the idea, because I'm not a big fan of the idea, but I'm a big fan of the idea that I'm not a big fan of the idea!
He held my face and said solemnly, "I have to live."
5. I often sit there for several hours without moving to look at the silver lighter I sent you, thinking of you holding a cigarette in the mold
like, thinking of you spitting smoke in the mold ...... and then let their tears, drop by drop down.
That day Ray's birthday. I bought a birthday cake to his house.
It was still early, he did not come back, I happily hummed a song and so on, stretching from the window down to see if he came back. Suddenly
I felt a blinding light cross my eyes.
I quickly grabbed the source of the light and looked along. I was sure I was right, it was the reflection of the lens of a high powered
telescope.
The other party probably realized I was looking that way, and the telescope disappeared, and the curtains were quickly drawn back together, calmly
as if nothing had happened.
When Ray got home, he was surprised to see the birthday cake on the table.
He said he'd been out in the world for almost three years, since he was twenty-two, and hadn't even had a birthday.
"I'll spend them all with you from now on!" I took his hand and said.
"People like me, live through today do not know can not live tomorrow, which will think of a birthday!"
I listened to some of the bitterness, did not let him say any more, let him hurry to blow out the candles.
I didn't let him say anything else, but I told him to blow out the candles.
After he made his wish I took out the gift I had given him - a silver lighter.
"You won't have to carry those disposable lighters anymore. Like it?"
His eyes lit up and I knew he loved it.
But he deliberately teased me, "Don't you know smoking is bad for your health? And send this to me, I actually like
books."
"Heh, the little rascal likes books, the little rascal likes books ......" I laughed out loud.
Ray hugged me,, gagging me with his lips.
I wanted to tell him about finding someone spying on him with high powered binoculars, but my mind was already confused by his
dominating kisses.
People can't make mistakes sometimes. Really, not at all.
He held my hand and murmured, "Shen Junwei.
He held my hand and murmured, "Shen Junwei. Hard and crisp name, but your person is so
gentle."
I looked up at him and said "It's not like I'm gentle with everyone, just with you. Ray, you
know what? I like listening to you."
He kissed my hair and said, "Know. Girl. I've seen you being
mean
to that Ieming from your company!"
I was taken aback and said, "How do you know about Ka Ming? Ah ........ You investigate me ........."
Ray hugged me tighter and said, "I'm not trying to pry into your privacy, I'm worried about you. Junwei, you
are mine"
I laughed, "I resigned myself to my fate. I'm in love with a rogue."
"No", he said seriously, "I should say, a rogue is in love with you. One day I will tell you
the reasons, all the reasons."
As I rested on his solid chest, he took the blanket and wrapped me in it, and in the darkness his cigarette flickered
and dimmed, and I could see the tired, vulnerable expression on his face. It seemed that a child who had held on too long could remove
defenses and masks and reveal his true self.
Ray told me that I was the second girl to come into his bed.
I asked him who the first was.
He said he was dead, killed by the triads.
At that moment, I was not jealous or unhappy, but just felt sad. Because I felt the sadness in his tone,
and the powerlessness.
Then why don't you get out of the triad? I asked him.
Because of hatred.
Because of hate.
There was something in his words that I didn't understand. But I didn't look into it. After a while, I finally
remembered seeing the telescope and told him.
After he heard it, he looked grave and asked me, looking down, "How did you know to chase the light source?"
I told him, don't go forward I am the daughter of the police. In the past, when I was in college, there were always boys peeping in the opposite building,
It was my dad who taught me this. He didn't say a word, just hugged me tight.
6. I touched Ray's knife, the one that used to be wielded for me, and I was very blood-sick, but I didn't that day, and I
was afraid that if I fainted, I'd never see him again .......
My love for Ray grew stronger when he flourished in the underworld.
When I went over one night, I found him changing the locks.
He was shirtless, his head down as he worked, and I sat on the inflatable couch watching him. When he was done changing it, he handed me the key
.
"Here's the key, I'm across the street where you can see it, don't come over to me if you're okay."
"What about something?" I asked Ray.
"Don't come looking for me even if there's something wrong!" Ray said harshly.
I felt so aggrieved. But I didn't say anything, I knew he was under a lot of pressure and in danger of losing his
life at any moment. Moreover, the atmosphere was getting more and more wrong, and Qing hadn't been seen for a long time.
Day after day, Ray seems to know nothing about this family, I watched him every day from this side of the window, in the
studio and all kinds of punks to deal with, and a few times have fought, but he never seems to lose
, he punches the posture of the handsome, strong, but sometimes there will be a few minor injuries.
Those injuries, as if carved in my heart, the only thing I could do, just clenched his fist and sobbed.
Until that day, I saw a scene I could not imagine.
A girl walked into Ray's studio, wearing large sunglasses and a coffee-colored cloth dress that framed a
voluptuous, slim figure.
She's not like the little tai-tai girls who come to Ray on weekdays, she has a different kind of temperament about her.
She spoke to Ray, who shook his head. She seemed angry and was losing her temper.
Then she suddenly fell into his arms and kissed Ray's lips, the nails of her hands seeming to pinch Ray's flesh
inside.
Ray actually did not push her away, and, with his free hand, he pulled the curtains together. Immediately, my eyes turned into a
patch of darkness.
I sat down on the floor in a helpless crouch, gasping for air. Why, why did Ray do this to me. Did he know
that I was watching him at home?
Why trample on my pride so much, making out with another woman in front of me?
I couldn't help myself and pulled out my cell phone to call his cell.
"Something wrong?" He asked me surprisingly flatly.
I just said, "I miss you!"
"Then it's fine! Go home now, do as you're told, and don't ever come to my house
or studio again without me calling you."
Then there was a beep on the receiver.
I slammed the phone into the wall and saw it turn to dust, just like my heart.
Is this the man I love? I lied to my dad so many times for him; suffered so much horror,
and he didn't even explain, or at least tell me who the woman was.
Whether I am a dispensable one among many girls around him is like the wind bringing me to his side, and then
then the wind like the past without trace. The first thing I'd like to say is that I don't think I'm going to be able to do that.
But I, but how can I be so willing? I cried for a long time, I do not know what time of the night.
I made up my mind, I must go to his studio to see.
The night engulfed my small figure, I walked softly to his studio, it was quiet inside.
I suddenly despised myself: Shen Junwei, what are you doing? I'm not going to be able to live without this man,
I suddenly despised myself: Shen Junwei, what are you doing? He has interfered with your life your thinking your everything. He's probably holding that
girl in his arms right now while she sleeps, are you here to catch her?
Wake up! What are you to him? What did he promise you?
My hands and feet are already cold. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that.
Just as I turned my head to go, downstairs suddenly came the sound of rapid footsteps, with a murderous air, I looked down, under the
surface of the metal of the cold light has reflected up, I can not help but scream in fear.
The door opened at once, and I saw Ray standing in front of the door with a knife in his hand, both eyes showing a ferocious light, never seen him
like this before. He tied his hands to the knife with a cloth and rushed down the stairs, and I heard a scream below.
I knew something was bad when I heard the footsteps and the sounds of killing gradually shift upstairs.