My dad called me, said he wanted a retro record player, but the Internet spike was late, the preferred one was taken by others first, asked me if I could find a way to help him another one.
That night I saw a campaign that said if you took a creative and loving photo with your siblings, you would have a chance to win a film record player.
I hesitated to call my little one.
It took a long time for the little one to answer, his tone lazy and indifferent to me: What's the matter?
I relayed to her Dad's desire for a record player and this current photo campaign.
The little one was silent for a long time, and questioned: you're so good, do you need to participate in activities to win prizes?
I automatically ignored the barbs in her tone and responded calmly: Dad has his eye on that one.
She was quite impatient: do you have to take a picture? Send me a picture of you and I'll take a picture of you, won't I?
Perhaps also feel that their attitude is a bit harsh, the little guy complained a few times and then compromised: I have time on the weekend, whether I go to your school to find you, or you come over, I will now be on the Internet to set up a group purchase of family photos.
She was suddenly so understanding, I was quite flattered, to know that in normal times, she spoke with me has always been cross-nosed, a look and I have not **** Dai Tian hatred of the appearance.
But it turns out I was relieved too soon. The appointment of the weekend group photo, the little one is not only half an hour late, wearing the same school uniform from the games, see me pass the monster costume, dissatisfied: why I am a monster, you are Superman ah?
I have no choice but to change with her, but her opinions are endless, a moment I think I rob her of the camera, a moment I think my expression is too pretentious, the photographer is the two of us made a mess, told us to go to the side to coordinate the relationship between the good and then go over.
I said, "Gu Xiyan, you usually choke with me even if it's not enough, a photo is so unreasonable
I think I'm unreasonable? She threw her backpack over her shoulder and said, "Then you can take the picture alone.
I was so angry that I didn't stop her, but I couldn't really get angry with her.
And I was vaguely guessing what the little one was thinking. The best way to explain it was that the year I skipped a grade to take the entrance exam at fifteen, she fought me for the first time and was dead set against accompanying me to the exam with mom and dad.
She also did not care about how well I did on the exams, after the results came out mom and dad invited dinner, the table she also black face, relatives and friends praised me for being smart after noticing her, make up a sentence of Nian Nian is really cute, she sneered, and went home to mom and dad to be a good meal of criticism. I waited for her to open her mouth and ask for help, like she did when she was a child.
But that time, she was scolded by her parents until she was in tears, and she didn't pass me a look of help.
And from then on, I began to have absolutely no idea what the little one was thinking.
Because of the lack of understanding, the gap became deeper and deeper, and then I went to Hong Kong to study at the university, and then I went abroad to Boston at the age of eighteen, and the gradual distance also completely alienated us. In the laboratory can not return home on New Year's Eve, to call home, the turn of the little one is only a nonchalant sentence: brother, Happy New Year, pay attention to health.
Instead, I gradually talk more and more, asking her if there is anything she wants, can come to send her.
She was always cold: I give illustration, I can earn money, do not need you to spend money.
In front of me, she is always emphasizing her own and capable.
It seems that this will bring back the glory that I took away from her parents and that should have belonged to her.
Second, the years are a god stealer
I was surprised to see a photo of me and Gu Xiyan on the Internet, the photo is too loving, surely not photographed, then there is only one possibility that the little one is still really with the P photo to participate in the contest.
In the photo, one of us is standing at a crowded intersection, and the other one is standing on the rooftop of a high-rise building, and the little one is pointing at me, jumping up and down with the finger movements.
Though the photo was a serious hack, I was still amused. A few days later, the contest came out with a list of winners, and I went up and glanced at them, and the first place winner was indeed Gu Xiyan.
The arrogant little one is quite cute, I thought about whether to give her a call to show her appreciation, she even took the initiative to call me, said she wanted to invite me to their school to open a lecture, or she did not have enough credits to repeat the study.
The twenty-one year old girl had a hard time getting into college, and most of her peers were busy with their theses, but she was still worried about not getting enough credits. I answered quickly: yes, but you have to buy me dinner.
She froze for a while before responding: no problem.
Three days later, I received an express delivery of a box of instant noodles with a card attached, which was written: please eat instant noodles.
Half a month later, I met her at my little one's school. She cut her hair short, wore black glasses, sat quietly in the corner of the first row, holding a sketchbook, and did not look up at me.
I felt quite neglected and deliberately asked her to get up and repeat my earlier conclusion. She slowly stood up, and I stared blankly, the back seat holding a basketball boy could not help but stand up: teacher! I help Gu Xiyanian repeat!
A heartfelt snicker rose from underneath.
I thought I was pretty good-tempered, voted the friendliest teacher by the students when I first joined the school, and never lost my temper with the students. But at that moment, I stared at Gu Xiyan who didn't say a word and pretended to be invisible, and then I looked at the boy in her backseat who had an eager expression, my tone was harsh, and I was also angry: What's the matter with you? I'm not sure what I'm talking about, but I'm not sure what I'm talking about! Gu Xiyan, are you listening to the lesson or not?
The little one is quite calm, I almost have no doubt that she even glared at me, said: no.
Before I could make a sound, the teacher in charge of the lecture came over to mediate. The teacher's tone was not good, tugging at Gu Xiyan's clothes and dragging him outside, Gu Xiyan, like a cat whose tail has been stepped on, suddenly blurted out: I'll leave on my own!
I knew that what Gu Xiyanian would face next was not only the reprimand of the teacher in charge of the lecture, but also the reprimand of their staff, the dean, and even the principal. Her precarious credits were probably even more incomplete.
But I waited all night, and she didn't call me to tell me to put in a good word for her with the school.
In the years when I didn't grow up with her*** and face the elements, time polished her into such an obstinate character. How soft and cuddly she was when I was little, I wanted to have a puppy, my parents said that I couldn't have a dog hair allergy in yesteryear, so I got upset and then threw my face at the little one. The little one in the heart of shame, wearing her fluffy dog bear pajamas, sneaking to comfort me, said to me: brother don't be sad, I can learn to bark to make you laugh!
She then really raised both hands and learned the dog's gesture of bowing, woof woof woof barking to make me laugh.
Then she was still an ungrown lump of milk, white and soft, and when I wrote in my diary, I changed her generation from Little Dummy to Little One. Now, however, I can only call her Little One in my mind.
Three, unarmed can also be thorny
Gu Xiyanian do not have to retake.
I called her post and used the next few free lectures to help Gu Xiyan for a few credits.
When I got home on the weekend, I asked my mom, "Is Xiyan in love?
My mom was even more surprised than I was, and with a look of rain, she said she wanted to rush to the school to talk to her. I support the forehead, in time to pull my mom, let her go to the square dance on it, Xiyanian is not in love by me responsible for detectives.
We are in the same year, I'm just a few seconds older than her, change into a shirt and slacks to wear on campus, there are girls ask me if I want to participate in the school modeling team. I asked in advance of the dormitory and professional classes often classroom, waiting for her.
You don't have many friends at school, and you're always on your own in and out of class. Only the boy who stood up for her that day appeared by her side every now and then, bringing her breakfast and accompanying her to off-campus restaurants.
Let's call him Basketball Man. The basketball guy is quite sunny and smooth, and he behaves in a disciplined manner. At least he kept his distance from the other kids when I was sneaking around with them.
The basketball man was also very careful, with an umbrella, flower water, band-aids and other items in his duffel bag. Xiyanian was probably bitten by mosquitoes and itched so much that he kept scratching, so he immediately pulled out the flower water from his bag.
The basketball man should really look in the mirror, he now looks like one more tail is simply the same as a puppy that looks at its owner with bated breath.
But yesteryear is not too his account, dinner must be with him AA system, also do not want him to send her back to the dormitory. I hid in the corner and heard Gu Xiyanian say to him in a serious manner, "Don't follow me, I'm going to go to the club to paint.
The basketball man is also good temper: that's fine, you have something to call me again.
I went to the manga club with Nian, who was in charge of teaching new members how to draw manga, and taught them how to draw. I peeked at her through the window and saw her soft expression, even when someone couldn't draw well she wasn't anxious, she was even good-naturedly encouraging the other person.
The little one was cold on the outside and hot on the inside, and the sad thing was that she gave all her enthusiasm to strangers.
She went to her elective class in the evening, and I was a little flattered when I noticed she was taking animal behavior. I study animal behavior and thought she wouldn't even bother to look at anything to do with me.
The paper example used by the elective instructor was a paper I had published abroad last year, which had won a number of awards but had also been questioned. My roommate in Boston is in the same field of study as I am, and the topic of the paper is the same as mine. So there's been a debate about whether I plagiarized his arguments or whether he borrowed ideas from my paper.
The teacher was obviously much more arbitrary, saying in class that Gu Xiwen was only in his early twenties, so how could he have written such a profound essay?
Do you have any evidence that Gu Xiwen's paper was plagiarized?
Gu Xiwen suddenly stood up, hiding in the corner of the back door gave me a shock.
The teacher's words ended, but Gu Xinian was aggressive: you scholars are not the most afraid of being told that plagiarism? Do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto you, why do you speak in a tone of certainty when you yourself are not sure?
The teacher's face turned red at the questioning.
A classmate whispered underneath that Gu Xiwen was her own brother.
The bell rang, Gu Xi-nian was called out by the teacher to talk, but her classmates talked about her in the classroom, saying that she loves to make a show of herself, relying on her brother is the school's visiting professor, all kinds of unselfconsciousness, but also said that her brother is so young, does not look like doing a good job in the appearance of the study, may be from the Internet thesis
They did not finish, Gu Xi-nian walked in with a black face: you say! I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm not sure what you're talking about.
These students were a bit embarrassed, and no one made another sound.
You guys have time to be suspicious of others here, why don't you go do your studies and think about how to surpass him! And my brother is just handsome, you who are not convinced, come out to fight one on one ah! The little guy's face reddened and he was furious.
I listened to the mixed feelings, both touched, and handsome.
I thought she had long been estranged from me, I thought she had preconceptions about me, but I did not think, in the defense of me on this point, the little one, even if it is unarmed, can still be brave for me to fight through the thorns.
Four, I have to go save her
Summer vacation back home, the little one is still a swagger to death.
I tried to chat with her, she always ignored me, I said more and she suspected me of nagging. I asked her: Is your birthday coming up? There's nothing you want but can't afford? I'll give it to you.
The little one, like being poked to the sore spot, glared at me and returned with indignation.
I was puzzled, but my mom was amused and comforted me, saying: "Nian Nian is too embarrassed to talk about it, and last month she beat around the bush and tried to get an advance on her New Year's Eve money from me, saying she wanted an antique camera.
A week later on her birthday, also my birthday, I pushed the packaged camera in front of her. She gave me a surprised look and froze for a while when she unwrapped it and saw the camera. I was quite happy, after all, I did not intend to get a thank you from her, she did not lose her temper to nitpick is already a surprise.
Gu Xiyanian was so awkward that I noticed she was trying to say something for a long time, and she even made a gesture of thanking me, but she just couldn't get it out of her mouth. The night before going to bed, my mom warmed up the soybean milk to me, she shook to the kitchen does not speak, only staring at my hands of soybean milk a hard to see, I asked her: want to drink?
The little one shook her head, but said: you don't drink it.
Seeing my confusion, she explained: soybean milk has estrogen, you drink too much will become pussy.
I laughed out loud, but she had already turned around and took out milk from the refrigerator: drink milk.
The little one was thanking me in a different way.
I nodded, taking advantage of the cozy atmosphere of the moment and said: next week I'm flying to Los Angeles to attend an academic conference, Mom and Dad are going to go, do you want to come along? We're going to Disney as a family after the conference.
I'm going to Hangzhou next week with my classmates.
Which classmate? The one who helped you at the lecture last time?
The little one looked at me with an incredulous look: why are you so nosy?
She didn't deny it outright, and handed me the warmed milk to go back to, I hesitated for a moment, but still called out to her: you're a girl, pay more attention to everything, don't get hurt.
The little guy turned around and glared at me in annoyance, but halfway through, he went back and returned with a vague sentence: Happy Birthday.
I froze, and when I looked up again she had ducked back into her room.
After finishing my milk I went to my book to prepare my thesis, returning at nearly three in the morning, and when I passed my little one's room I was surprised to find the light still on. I leaned over the door and looked in through the crack, and Xiyan was still drawing.
Those relatives who always say that Xiyan is not as good as me should come and see how hard the little one is working.
A week later, my parents and I flew to Los Angeles. The night before the meeting, my mom took a brand new suit out of the suitcase for me to change into, and said mysteriously, "This is the one Xiyan picked out for you, for your birthday, and he didn't let us tell you.
I was slightly stunned, and then laughed.
I thought that my relationship with the little one would slowly ease over time, but I overlooked the fact that the world has fallen, and there are too many twists and turns and uncertainties in life.
Meeting with my parents and I did not bring, back to the hotel only to find on dozens of missed calls.
My heart thumped, inexplicably uneasy, call back to pick up the basketball man.
Gu Xiyanian in the youth hostel, to help next door to an elderly couple to change the light bulb, who knows who knows the light bulb will suddenly blow up, exploding debris splashed Xiyanian eyes! Now Xiyan is still in resuscitation I do not know
Basketball man's tone is simply about to cry out, I hold the hand has been trembling. I comforted the basketball man to take it easy and wait for the surgery to be over, and then I booked the nearest flight back to my home country that day and hoofed it back.
It was the next morning when I arrived in Hangzhou, and the man was sitting outside the hospital, sobbing in a low voice.
Shards of glass pierced into the eyes of Xiyan, and even if they were rescued in time, the pupils were scarred. Xiyanian's myopia was already severe, and the accident was even worse for her eyesight.
She may be temporarily blind for a while, and will have to be reviewed again, but maybe it's not so bad. The basketball man said he couldn't stop crying, and blamed me!
My mother was also crying, saying: "Nian Nian still has to paint, still has to paint."
I covered my face, blocking the white light shining in from the end of the corridor, and I felt like I was suddenly standing at a strange crossroads, unable to see the exit of the north, south, east, west, and don't know where to go, but I had to grit my teeth and move forward. I don't know where to go, but I still have to grit my teeth and walk forward. Because the little one is in one of those exits where I can't see the light, and I have to go save her.
Fifth, even if the world ends tomorrow
The little one is unexpectedly strong.
I helped her walk around the disease, and she struggled to remember where each key point was, and how many steps it took to get to that spot, and roughly how much distance she needed to take for each stride.
She asked me to write it down on paper and kept repeating it for her.
Relatives and friends came to hear the news and sighed long and hard at the temporarily blind yesteryear in the hospital bed, but at the end of the day, they pulled me aside and asked me in a roundabout way if the university where I was working was still recruiting, and if I could help my cousin fight for it.
Sending off the relatives, I went back to the sick and peeled fruit for her to eat. She seems to be a little distracted, the fruit lifted to the mouth, but a bite in the index finger, immediately out of the blood. I was busy looking for a band-aid to give her, but she told me to go back.
I don't feel comfortable with you here. She said.
I had to leave angry, saying I would come back to see her tomorrow during the day.
But every day a relative came to ask me about my work, and I couldn't say yes, and I couldn't say no, so I was just burnt out. Joking to the little one about this, she was cold and indifferent, a few moments after the outbreak of bad temper: Gu Xiwen you show off what ah? Obviously lying here can not see anything is me! Why is it that everyone who comes to pay attention is still you!
The hot soup at hand was unintentionally knocked over by her raised hand, and my peeled fruit rolled to the floor.
I was at a loss for words, frozen in place.
My mom showed up just in time to calm down the cranky Xiyan, and winked at me to go home. I was a little distracted, more than sad, and fumed as I waited for the light at the crosswalk, only coming back to my senses when a guide dog I passed suddenly called out to me.
At last, my attention was diverted, and I stared back at the distant guide dog for a long time.
The truth is that really well-trained guide dogs are rare, while the number of blind people is large, a real shortage of demand. The week my little one refused to let me visit her, I was trying to find ways to ask people about guide dogs.
A week later, I handed a golden Labrador guide dog leash to Xiyan.
I heard my mom say that if you want to go out shopping, it's much easier to have it around, and it knows 60 percent of the streets in this town. It's a cute and docile little guy, can you give it a name?
Xinian's movements were a little stiff for a while before she tentatively squatted down and touched the guide dog's silky fur. She smiled a little, but tears came out, choking back a sob and suggested: How about calling it Naughty?
I smiled and agreed, and asked her: By the way, are you allergic to dog hair?
She shook her head: it shouldn't matter.
When she left that day, she called me from behind, trembling and cautious: brother.
My heart trembled, and then I heard her say solemnly: thank you.
My mom and dad and I discussed that if Xiyan's eyes don't get better, we will be Xiyan's human crutches and take care of her for the rest of her life.
Because we are the closest people in the world to each other, our blood is thicker than water.
Even if the world is going to end tomorrow, we have to **** with our loved ones after breakfast the moment before.
Even if you're at the end of your rope, you won't let go of each other's hands.
So no thanks.
Six, each other's dragon slayers
It was just a short week and I still gave away my guide dog.
Years ago, the dog hair allergy is serious to beyond my imagination, just half a day neck, arm a large red rash, coated with white miserable allergy ointment, but also to hold the dog, look simply heartbreaking.
I had no choice but to send Naughty away.
In the past, I actually preferred cats to dogs. But I really can't find a cat with the function of a guide. Theoretically, a cat's alertness is not inferior to a dog's, and memory is a weak point, but it can be trained.
It's just hard to maneuver because cats are harder to tame compared to dogs.
Mom and Dad both had jobs, and school was about to start, so it wasn't possible to be by Xiyan's side all the time and go wherever they wanted. The day before yesterday, when Xiyan went out to meet the basketball guy, he didn't really want us to drop him off, so he ended up having to meet him at home instead.
But I did give Xiyan a British Shorthair cat.
The cat has a cute face, a round head, and big eyes that shine like jewels. I lied to the little one that this is my special guide cat for her, she was dumbfounded: I have never heard of a guide cat?
I've never even heard of it, but it sure is a useful and practical guide cat for yesteryear.
But it never occurred to the little one that it was Mom and Dad and I who were the real guides for her.
I asked the school for half a month's leave, and every day I held the cat in the city's streets and alleys, according to the travel guide downloaded from the Internet, specializing in snack streets and well-known attractions, I also secretly went to read the little one's blog, wrote down a few of the places that she loves to shop, and frequently led the cat to step on the spot.
The cat was lazy and disobedient, so I baited her with small dried fish that interested her and rewarded her when she arrived at her destination.
When I had something to do, I switched to Mom and Dad's training, and the three of us led a cat almost all over town, pockets full of dried fish and colorful feathers that the cat liked, and the image of us whispering to the cat on the street made many pedestrians look sideways.
Cats are difficult animals to serve and are not docile, with eccentric temperaments that are hard to communicate with.
But in the heart of the unseen Xiyan, it was a truly magical cat. She would squat down from time to time to reward it with some cat cookies, stroking its round head to praise it, the cat is also humane, get along with it and no longer often blow up, obediently follow the route we led it forward, excited, thinking that when we arrive at the destination there will be a delicious small dried fish to enjoy.
Shenian and I also interacted more; she would tell me what was good about the cats, ask me what was interesting at school today, and ask me to tell her the synopsis of a movie that had recently been released.
I want to take her to the cinema, she froze for a long time, and said stiffly: How can I watch a movie like this?
I'll repeat the plot for you, your brother I was a good writer of narrative essays.
The movie theater can not talk, you will be blown out.
I'll just get all the tickets for that time slot!
The little guy's jaw dropped: pack the theater ah you!
Said the package on the package, set out to see the movie the day, the little guy said to call on the meeting of a few blind children. The kids were sitting in a row around the old days, and I stood in front of them, loudly repeating the plot to them.
The movie was over, and I sent the kids back with Xiyan. On the way home, Xiyanian burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry I've been upset with you, but it's just because I'm not as good as you are, and I'm jealous of you". I
We all have been children competing for favor in front of adults, counting on more or less attention and love.
Sometimes I also think, if I'm not so strong, yesteryear will be a little more lively, a little happier? But I don't know about those ifs, I just know that as long as the family is together properly, it's good enough.
But you still want me to be good, don't you? I heard from my mom that you kept every copy of my paper that I sent home. And it's not jealousy that you get indignant over me when I'm doubted.
I could take up the sword and be a dragon slayer for her. She is also willing to abandon gossip and fight for me to chase away the monsters that infest my body. Just because, we are brother and sister.
She was just afraid that if she ran too slowly, she would not be able to catch up with me, that she would not be able to protect me, and it was this sense of anxiety that was not jealousy.
Seven, the long night will come to an end
Said the little one's eyes are recovering nicely.
Years ago, too, he said that he could gradually perceive the presence of light, and that although it was still blurred, it was better than nothing.
The stone in my heart finally fell to the ground, and on the pretext that guide cats are rare, I asked Xiyan for her opinion, asking if she could pass it on to a blind person in greater need. She held her cat in her arms, but obediently handed it over to me.
Let's just pretend that this has been a magical cat leading her through the streets all this time, and that we, the oddballs in the eyes of passers-by busy training the cat with a feather in our hands, are still treating it as a secret, and don't tell her about it. Otherwise the little one will be moved to tears again.
Half a month later, I was looking for information in the book, the little one came over and knocked on the door, and the first thing he saw me was a sentence: Oh my God, you have a big pimple on your forehead!
I subconsciously covered my forehead and met the little guy's eyes, finally realizing what it meant.
Brother, you need to restrain yourself, you're cracking up laughing. She reminded me.
I still couldn't close my mouth, wanting to reach out and give her a hug, but hesitating whether it was appropriate considering how big she had grown. Instead, she saw what I was thinking in general and reached out and hugged me of her own accord.
She said: brother, I will never mess with you again.
I stopped my throat sour choking, nodded vigorously.
But there is something I still have to tell her: I'm going to Iceland next month, and this time I'm going with them to shoot a documentary on wolverines, and it may take two months before I can come back
Can I go with you?
It's a rare occasion that she wants to come with me, but I have to turn her down and say: No, you're not a professional.
What I didn't actually say was that it was too dangerous.
A month later I set off for Iceland, which in turn approached the Arctic Ocean. It was the middle of winter in the northern hemisphere, and the Arctic Circle was only dimly lit by the reflection of snow and ice. It was hard to get out and shoot, and communication was always broken, the longest time I was out of contact with my family was half a month.
When the little one finally got through to me, she was sobbing uncontrollably.
She also scolded me: you good in the university teaching can not? You have to go to the North Pole to shoot a documentary? You're only in your early twenties, do you realize that?
If something happens to you
The little one couldn't go on, and I felt a little bit sorry for her.
I wanted to comfort her, but communications were cut off by the snow and wind at the critical moment, and I don't know when I'll be able to get through again. But there's still a month to go before I can go back, and in half a month the northern hemisphere will officially be in the middle of summer.
The long darkness of the Arctic Circle would finally come to an end, and the sky would slowly lighten.
All the gloom that has been in my life will eventually be given meaning by the walking years, and then be reborn, like the bond with my little one that I once thought could not be reconciled. At the moment, however, I'm nestled in a reindeer-skin tent with an old journal in my hands, reading about all the awkward things I did as a child with yesteryear, and waiting for the dawn.