What should junior high school children do if they are rebellious? First, the causes of rebellious psychology.
First, traditional ideas affect some parents. China's long-standing paternalism still exists among some parents, who lack democratic awareness of their children's education. They always think that children are immature, so they should obey themselves absolutely and not have their own opinions, otherwise they will be disobedient. Therefore, children will not or rarely take their parents as confidence words, and are afraid of being blamed by their parents after doing something wrong. After many middle school students think that they have done something wrong, what they dislike most is their parents' accusations, and the reason for their disgust is their parents' bullying and stubbornness.
Second, parents' mistakes in understanding lead to improper educational methods. Some parents lack common psychological knowledge, are eager to achieve success in their children's education, and adopt simple and rude methods, often ignoring their children's self-esteem and psychological endurance. Especially when their children make mistakes, instead of analyzing them and discussing remedies with them, they scold or even beat them, making them feel isolated and rebellious when they make mistakes. There is also the parents of Xiaojun mentioned earlier. They think that as long as they are subjectively good to their children, they can not pay attention to educational methods.
Third, parents and children lack two-way communication, resulting in ideological contradictions. With the growth of high school students, their sense of independence is getting stronger and stronger, which requires them to have their own way of doing things and do not want to be controlled too much. Some parents do everything for their children's protection, so that children's desire for independence and parents' improper kindness and care will lead to ideological conflicts and contradictions. Maybe some parents seldom talk to their children because of their busy work, and just make some strict rules to restrain their children's behavior. Therefore, as children, high school students do not have a harmonious and warm family environment, lack communication with their parents, and are prone to rebellious psychology and behavior.
The educational mode of school teachers is also one of the reasons that lead to students' rebellious psychology. Some teachers don't understand the psychological characteristics of high school students, condescending, guiding students to think and do what they want, and don't communicate with students at all, which is easy to cause students' rebellious psychology.
In addition, some improper rendering of mass media is also a factor leading to rebellious psychology. For example, some film and television works try their best to beautify the rebels' personal behavior, exaggerate the rebels' ability and advocate individualism.
Second, the main performance.
Don't listen to your parents at home and teachers at school; Disturbing classroom discipline, not completing homework, and sometimes skipping classes; Schools often advocate the opposite, and even engage in some pranks or sabotage from time to time. They often show disobedience to their teachers or parents' education and tell him not to do so, but he insists on doing so and even openly contradicts them.
Third, teachers' countermeasures.
1. Establish educational goals and requirements suitable for teenagers.
Too high educational and teaching goals and heavy learning burden are one of the important reasons for students' rebellious psychology. When guiding students' moral behavior, we should carefully analyze students' ideological status and psychological requirements, accurately grasp the stage and level of students' moral development, and step by step in educational strategies to avoid rushing headlong into action and confrontation between teachers and students as much as possible. We must treat these students sincerely, and actively communicate with them, through conversation, unify our understanding, achieve the purpose of coordinating feelings, and gain the trust of students. To this end, I take the initiative to talk with them and make friends, respect their personality, find bright spots, give trust and encouragement, give play to their strengths, motivate them to love themselves and strengthen themselves, and establish educational goals and requirements suitable for students. For example, Xiao Chen, a classmate in my class, likes sports and doesn't like studying, but his parents are very strict in discipline, which eventually leads to sharp contradictions and often goes against the teacher. In view of its characteristics, I first chatted with its parents to let them realize the characteristics of their children; Talk to Xiao Chen again, let him understand the painstaking efforts of his parents, and finally the mother and son made up. At the same time, the reform of classroom teaching, which puts students in a passive position, greatly reduces students' academic burden, arranges different homework for students at different levels, establishes educational goals and requirements suitable for teenagers, enhances their subjective initiative in learning, and opens up more stages suitable for their performance. Now, most teachers report that Xiao Chen is more obedient than before.
2. Create a good educational environment for teenagers.
The first is to create a good class collective, give full play to the educational role of collective norms and correct public opinion, and cultivate a healthy and upward class atmosphere. Secondly, actively promote the democratization of education methods and give full play to the enthusiasm of independent management. Thirdly, according to the characteristics of teenagers, we should carry out a variety of educational activities, so that students can display their talents in collective activities, correct their moral character and form good psychological quality.
3. Improve teachers' own quality and educational art level.
The formation of adolescent students' rebellious psychology is related to the improper teaching methods of teachers. To this end, educators should first focus on improving their own literacy, including psychological quality, teaching professional ability and professional ethics. Teachers should have a good educational mentality, put care, respect and love for students in the first place, and put students on an equal footing with themselves. When students have excessive behavior, teachers should learn to control anger, be good at using educational wit and strategies, and skillfully resolve the contradiction between teachers and students.
4. Make rational use of the positive role of students' rebellious psychology.
Teachers should boldly use the positive factors of adolescent students' rebellious psychology to cultivate their innovative consciousness and ability. In the ideological education of students, teachers should not be biased, and reasoning should not only talk about the favorable or good side, but also talk about the harmful or bad side, so as to guide students to think reversely. In subject teaching, teachers should give full play to the characteristics of young students' reverse thinking and encourage students to put forward different viewpoints and methods to solve problems.
5. Pay attention to guide students with rebellious psychology.
For the negative rebellious psychology that has been or will be produced among students, teachers must not adopt the methods of repression and compulsory obedience, but should do a good job of persuasion. The internal cause of students' negative and rebellious psychology is their lack of social experience and ability to distinguish right from wrong, good from evil, and their tendency to look at problems simply and unilaterally. However, they are open-minded, honest and frank, and dare to think and speak. As long as they understand the truth, it is just around the corner to change their attitude. The guidance of this kind of students focuses on explaining the truth and eliminating the wrong cognitive factors; Secondly, we should grasp and capture the favorable educational opportunity, impress students' emotions and mobilize students' emotions; Third, make use of methods and educational media that students are willing to accept to improve the effectiveness of counseling.
Fourth, junior high school students rebellious parents' countermeasures
First, parents re-examine their children.
At this time, the child is not the old baby. He/she has grown up and deserves new recognition. Re-observe the child and sit down and communicate with him/her in an adult way.
Second, respect, respect, and respect again.
Regard respecting children as a major event. At this time, children should stop beating and cursing. The more they beat and scold, the farther away their hearts will be from you. A child in a rebellious period of youth is particularly sensitive in mind. You will remember his/her kindness 1 second, and he/she may remember your kindness 1 day. In fact, they are re-examining their parents at this time, and they will rearrange their parents' position in their hearts. If you still want him/her to put you first in your heart, then-respect is your most powerful "weapon".
Third, borrow the mouth of a third party.
Sometimes, you will find that he/she won't listen to anything you say to him/her, and even go against you! This is called treason. At this time, if you expect him/her to contradict something when communicating with him/her, don't tell him/her at all. Tell your meaning to someone acceptable to your child, and let this person convey your meaning. Communicating with children will often achieve the results you want.
Fourth, enough space.
At this time, the child's careful thoughts have reached a dense level, resisting our desire to find out. Then, you might as well give them more room to grow. When they need you, I believe they will find you who gives them enough space. Don't try to interfere with his/her heart by force.
Fifth, act as the weak in due course.
Let your children know that you are helpless and sometimes you need them to help you. Sometimes, being a weak person and letting him/her protect you is not a sign of incompetence. On the contrary, it is the easiest time for both sides to communicate. For example, if you miss him/her, you can mobilize your emotions to make him/her feel insecure without him/her, as if you are not taking care of him/her, but you have been relying on him/her.
Sixth, use honorifics.
Speaking honorifics at home, some friends may feel awkward and unnecessary. Actually, it's not. This in itself is another manifestation of respecting children. You use honorifics for him/her, and he/she will also use honorifics for you and other family members. Is the atmosphere at home good? ?
You must apologize when you do something wrong.
Sometimes, it is worse to beat and scold your child than to lose your child's love for you. You just find that you misunderstood him/her, so apologize to your child immediately. Don't be afraid of losing the face of your parents. As a parent, you must let your children see your sincerity and seriousness. Don't be afraid to make mistakes and admit them. Don't worry, this is a good quality for you and a good thing for your children to learn.
Eight, empathy.
Always put yourself in the child's shoes, especially when there is an argument. If you were him/her, would you still be calm?