Speaking of Xiao Hong, there is always a sense of life.
If the picture of her life is fixed as a painting, I think it should be a wilderness blocked by frost and snow under the chaotic gray sky, and the white earth is full of cracks and scars.
Twisted family background, unhappy childhood, broken family ties, frustrated love, wandering plight, and every time fate began to fall, a hole was added to her weak body.
However, Luo Shen, a generation of literature, was unwilling to be at the mercy of fate. Those who were once hungry and full of holes blossomed in her works and were written into one masterpiece after another.
Loneliness, sadness, coldness and stubbornness between the lines are my first impressions of Xiao Hong.
From a secular point of view, Xiao Hong's life card is not bad. She was born in a gentry and landlord family and was able to receive a new education.
However, after all, the richness of material can't match the thinness of human feelings. Living in a twisted family environment since childhood, Xiao Xiaohong's childhood was more bitter than fun.
In order to teach Xiaohong a lesson, the strict grandmother pricked her finger with a needle and made her cry. The violent father kicked her with his feet when he didn't agree with her, and often beat her black and blue. The estrangement and indifference of her stepmother made Xiao Hong, who lost her mother at a young age, never enjoy maternal love.
Xiao Hong is emotionally poor, longing for someone to hurt and love. This sense of lack made her fall into the mire of feelings again and again in the days to come, leaving her scarred.
The only one who hurts her is her grandfather, who always says to her, "grow up!" Just grow up. "
Growing up is growing up, but life is not good.
After grandpa died, Xiaohong's nightmare began.
Xiao Hong, 19 years old, was dissatisfied with the arranged marriage at home, and fled to Beijing with her cousin Lv Zongshun, officially breaking with her father. Lu Zongshun, who thought he was the only thrill, was forced to abandon Xiao Hong because of family economic sanctions.
Xiao Hong, whose financial resources were cut off, lived a wandering life of hunger and cold, fell into the emotional trap of her fiance Wang Enjia, was cheated into a hotel, and was pregnant with a child. Later, Wang went home to withdraw money under the guise of leaving, and there was no whereabouts after leaving.
Helpless Xiao Hong was almost sold as a prostitute by the innkeeper. In desperation, Xiao Hong wrote to the International Association for help, got the help of the left-wing Xiao Jun, and fell in love.
But Xiao Jun is not a lover. He has a hot personality and a tendency to violence.
Writer Jin Yi recalled: On one occasion, several friends saw Xiao Hong's eyes were bruised and swollen, and she concealed that she had accidentally fallen. But Xiao Jun said confidently, "What is there to hide? I called yesterday. "
During her contact with Xiao Hong, Xiao Jun cheated on her many times, and she also created a rogue love theory of "Love is love, and not love is disgust", which made Xiao Hong suffer from emotional trauma that could not be bridged.
All divorces are planned for a long time.
In the turbulent war, Xiao Jun followed Ding Ling to Xi, and Xiao Hong returned to Wuhan.
In the period of emotional emptiness, Duanmu Hongliang launched the pursuit of Xiao Hong and tried his best to marry Xiao Hong.
But he still loves himself more than Xiao Hong after all. When Wuhan fell, Xiao Hong gave Duanmu the only boat ticket and let him escape to Chongqing first.
Later, she moved to Hong Kong. When the war was raging, Duanmu Hongliang focused on dealing with the world and protecting herself, which made Xiao Hong feel disheartened when she was dying. She said, "We can't suffer together after all." .
Then she turned her back and faced the heartless desolation alone, and her life died in loneliness at the age of thirty-one.
03
Some people say that Xiao Hong met a unlucky person, and others say that the growing environment has created her slag-sucking physique, and the tragic ending is inevitable and not unreasonable.
People who are extremely lacking in love are eager to give up themselves as long as others give them a little tenderness and haven't had time to see each other's true colors.
There is a saying that "deep feelings hurt the mind." Those who are deeply in love often hurt themselves.
Leave three points in everything, and the lover loves seven points. On her emotional path, Xiao Hong is always an insider who doesn't know the true face of Lushan Mountain. Every time she crossed the rubicon for love, she sent herself to prison.
But if she learns to weigh the pros and cons and shrewdly get away with it, I'm afraid such Xiao Hong will no longer be Xiao Hong. Simplicity, fortitude and fortitude are part of Xiao Hong. At that time, she was destined to suffer some hardships.
As Xu Guangping said, "No one has experienced suffering, but the suffering written by Xiao Hong is deeper than anyone else."
Xiao Hongwei left a sigh before he died. "I was given a cold shoulder for half my life. I died first, unwilling, unwilling!" "
Flee for freedom for half a life, but fall into the whirlpool of emotion again and again; The painstakingly woven literary dream was mercilessly bombed by the fascist war. What else can Xiao Hong have in her life?
Xiao Hong wants a lot of love. If love is too extravagant, it is definitely good to have health, but if there is neither, then give your affection to work.
But that's fate. Before Ma Bole was finished, Xiao Hong had to give up writing because of her serious illness, leaving only regrets. Probably these are all reasons for reluctance.
Although I am unwilling, if I let Xiao Hong make another choice, I think 19-year-old will still make the same decision, break free from the cage at home and live a flesh-and-blood life. She herself said, "Although the back garden is big, it can no longer accommodate me."
As a person, the nature of Xiao Hong's works is closely related to her life background, which is a naked description of the world, showing loneliness, indifference and stubbornness.
This is the fate of Xiao Hong. Without that painful experience, it may be difficult to carve words that go deep into the bone marrow.
The sad and powerful Biography of Hulan River is not so much a fictional novel that sympathizes with people's livelihood as a semi-autobiographical documentary of Xiao Hong, which grew out of her life.
If a great work needs pain to be perfect, it is another perfection of life.
With this understanding, will the discomfort in my heart be alleviated?