Why do men bother themselves?

Some people joked that the seeds of a man's "playboy" had already been planted. As early as the time of apes, every male ape had a group of female apes. Whoever is strong has the right to carry on the family line, which is the law of survival of the fittest in nature. The idea that people evolved from apes is hereditary. The current practice is mostly polygamy. Men's thinking is to love whenever they can, and women's thinking is to marry a chicken with a chicken. These ideas have formed some kind of inferiority, which has been condensed in the genetic code and passed down from generation to generation. 1, phenyl ethylamine's addiction psychology believes that many men like to find new lovers like Jenny Tseng, and there are also physiological reasons. Psychologists have found that there is a special kind of people in the crowd, that is, people who are "addicted" to love hormones such as dopamine and oxytocin. Once the level of oxytocin and other hormones in the body subsides, such people will regain the source of stimulation by finding another new love, thus enjoying the extreme pleasure and excitement brought by the high secretion of hormones. This is what we usually call a playboy who likes the new and hates the old. Byron's Duan, Jin Yong's Duan, Gu Long's Chu Liuxiang and the Water Margin's Ximen Qing all have one thing in common: they are easy to get emotional for women, but they are also easy to let women fall, but they are heartless everywhere. Jenny Tseng may be as addicted to phenyl ethylamine as they are. 2. It may be caused by genes. Scientists have also found that people with certain genetic variations may encounter more trouble in marriage. It is found that the serial number of a fragment named RS3 334 in human AVPR 1A gene is related to whether a man is infatuated or sad. A man may have two, one or no RS3 334 fragments. The more men there are, the more unstable their relationship with their partners will be. It is reported that AVPR 1A gene is the coding gene of hormone "vasopressin" receptor. This hormone is related to oxytocin, a hormone called "hug chemicals". 3. The shelf life of love is only one and a half years. Psychological research has found that the shelf life of love is only 18 months. Jenny Tseng has no love for Vivian Chow, so he naturally has love for others. Neuroendocrinology found that love between men and women is triggered by three chemicals in the brain: dopamine, phenylethylamine and oxytocin. When men and women fall in love for the first time, these three chemicals generate at the same time, which makes people's heart beat faster, their palms sweat, they are extremely excited, and they are extremely happy. But after a period of time, there will be no more heartbeat and sweaty palms, and the time of staring at each other will be less than at the beginning; The hug will be less intense than at the beginning. Why is this? Because with the passage of time, the human body will gradually produce an antibody against these three chemicals; After a period of time, the effects of these three chemicals will disappear, and the novelty between men and women will gradually disappear, replaced by emotional blending. Now the relationship between Jenny Tseng and Vivian Chow is not so much "lovers" as "best friends". "Playboy" is more of a psychological problem. On the surface, a philanderer seems to be related to morality, but if we delve into the causes of his or her behavior, we will find that his or her parents' attitudes, emotions and behaviors in the original ecological family are related to him or her. 1. Jenny Tseng, who is eager to be noticed by everyone, keeps breaking the news of chasing women. One of the reasons may be that she didn't get more praise from her father when she was a child. Jenny Tseng's father is a famous science fiction writer Ni Kuang. Director Zhang Chun introduced that in the practice of psychological counseling, it is often found that people do not understand the "tiger father" of parenting education and cultivate "dog children". Because the father is so excellent, he will naturally place higher hopes on his son; It is precisely because he is so excellent that he generally won't praise children easily. In this way, the child unfortunately lost his father when he was a child-an objective evaluation of the most important person in the process of establishing his sense of self-worth will make the child feel low in his heart no matter how glamorous he is in the eyes of outsiders. If a person with a low sense of self-worth can't get a sense of accomplishment through normal channels, he will probably make trouble through other deviant ways, such as Jenny Tseng chasing girls, so as to attract people's attention. 2, eager to conquer and protect Zhang Chun introduced that men's nature, due to the role of androgen, is eager to conquer others and protect the weak. If he is weak and "protected" by a woman, then there must be a powerful force lurking in his subconscious, always trying to get rid of the palm of the rescuer. Vivian Chow often plays the role of the savior of Jenny Tseng. For example, Jenny Tseng was stopped by the radio station, and Vivian Chow ran around to make money; Give up a business that my mother and I run alone, and let Jenny Tseng become a shareholder. Some people say that Jenny Tseng's "total collapse" requires Vivian Chow to recover its capital. Jenny Tseng immediately strongly retorted: "I have nothing, how can there be a' full line'?" His inner aversion to "redemption" can be seen. Then why did he choose Vivian Chow? Director Zhang Chun introduced that it was because he was still immature at that time, which also extended his habitual thinking about the original ecological family. His wealthy family gave him a sense of psychological security from an early age; Vivian Chow, who has always been economically independent, also gave him a sense of psychological security at first. However, with the growth and maturity of age, as a man, Jenny Tseng began to yearn for being a strong person and resented the protection of others. Conquering new girls and being worshipped by little girls gave him great psychological satisfaction and felt that he was a strong man. 3. Some "playboys" are actually mental diseases. Psychologists have summarized the psychology of "playboy" for the following reasons: when I was a child, I didn't get due protection, careful care and selfless care. But it is regarded as "false love in the name of love", such as control, possession and jealousy. A, the playboy's heart is empty, like a magnetic bottomless black hole, which constantly needs external things or things to fill, but it is always not enough. It has nothing to do with a person's status, money and reputation, but these external conditions will create more opportunities to constantly change people. B, playboy people don't know what they really want. Insecurity and anxiety about the future. C, playboy people lack self-confidence and self-esteem, and lack internal strength. D, playboy people don't want to take responsibility for others and take evasive behavior. It is another kind of escape to respond to changes with constancy. E, playboy people always want more praise, respect, recognition and affirmation. F, playboy people want everything, refuse to let go, and keep chasing the so-called "better". G, playboys have not been "weaned" psychologically, have not cut off the "spiritual umbilical cord" with their parents, have not completed the growth of psychological age, and become a truly independent and psychologically mature person. H. The reason why playboys suffer from mental illness is that childhood trauma in the original ecological family has not been treated in time and is often ignored by parents and family members. These mental traumas have always been accompanied by romantic people, who rely on such behavioral defense methods to gain false self-confidence and dignity, and walk helplessly and confusedly in the long river of life with thicker and harder metal masks. The crisis of middle age is the catalyst of Playboy. Jenny Tseng said in his letter that he had a "middle-aged crisis" and that he was looking for a new lover to prove that he was still a strong man. Psychology has found that middle age is a new and important stage of personal self-evaluation. When people reach middle age, they always ask themselves, "Do I still have a chance?" "am I okay?" If career development stagnates and young people gradually catch up with or even surpass themselves, they will feel uncomfortable and their sense of self-worth will begin to waver; If there is anything unsatisfactory in life, it will aggravate self-doubt and sense of loss and fall into depression. Jenny Tseng's career has been full of twists and turns, "Yes! In business, employees don't pay wages, and people often come to collect debts; Vitality, a health magazine edited by him, could not be published as scheduled, and its sales volume was not satisfactory. He has always been known as a "gifted scholar" and his writing work has also stagnated. He wrote a column for Sing Tao Daily for only three months, and suddenly he stopped writing. Psychology believes that in the crisis of middle age, people will always unconsciously seek new breakthroughs to affirm their own value and seek new meaning in life. And Jenny Tseng's new love, subconsciously may have the meaning of seeking a breakthrough. The moral cultivation and control of "philandering" From the psychological point of view, men's "philandering" has its physical and psychological roots, that is, everyone has this situation in essence, but in the process of socialization, people will gradually be assimilated by social norms, morality and other factors, that is, personality and morality can control men's "promiscuity". In a psychological research test in the United States, when asked, "How many lovers do you expect to have in your life? "At that time, the average male answer was 189, and the female answer was 45. In other words, "philandering" is a common psychological and physiological phenomenon, but why do many people have ulterior motives and lack courage, so that "deviance" in society is not a common phenomenon? Lies in the power of moral cultivation. If people fall in love, the resulting phenyl ethylamine makes people simple and enthusiastic; However, if you are a married person, or an engaged person like Jenny Tseng, the positive feedback mechanism of "seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages" in your brain will start immediately, which will promote the generation of sense of responsibility and moral strength, thus calming phenyl ethylamine and making people return to rationality. The reason why Zhenni simply committed the "wrong thing" is that his moral cultivation is not enough, so that his psychological energy is not enough to suppress the impulse of lust. ]