Not only about sex, but also about friendship, love and marriage. The Trouble of the Green Apple is more from emotional confusion. A 9-year-old boy in Beijing recently left a suicide note and left home because the girl he hooked up with in the first grade of primary school ignored him. On the university campus, many people have suppressed the emotional blowout that has been lifted for many years, simplifying love and going straight to the point. After living together for several months, the two lost their freshness. A boy said, "Since you can drink free milk, why keep cows?" Some girls think: "I just try to get married, and many people try not to get married!" " "
A researcher at the Institute of Sociology of China Academy of Social Sciences pointed out that cohabitation mostly ended in failure, but few people broke up amicably, mostly in pain, which led to tragedies such as dropping out of school and committing suicide.
"The best time to know about sexual intercourse begins in adolescence." She said that the development of the times needs to carry out life education with sexual health education as the main line. Adolescent education not only talks about sex, but also about friendship, love and marriage. The Trouble of the Green Apple is more from emotional confusion.
2. Who plays a leading role in adolescent education?
Researchers believe that the family should be the first school for children to learn sexual knowledge, and parents should be the first teachers for children's sex education. Because parents are friendly to their children, the family environment is private and targeted.
As an auxiliary position, the school follows the principle of timely, moderate and moderate adolescent education, and offers classes for boys and girls for junior high school students to teach the physiological changes, physical changes and sexual and emotional development of adolescents; Offering marriage and love courses among senior high school students, teaching the knowledge and skills of communication between men and women, and exploring the teaching of mainstream sexual values and sexual morality.
What does getting married mean? What do you mean by breaking up? Chen Yijun survey found that many people don't know how to get along with "flash marriage" and what marriage is like, and they will repeat the same mistakes after entering the marriage hall again.
It has been pointed out that most jobs nowadays require diplomas and qualification certificates, but the two most important occupations in life, namely, being a husband and wife and being a parent, are often "undocumented".
Due to the lack of "on-the-job training", most people did not acquire knowledge about gender differences, marriage preparation and husband and wife life before marriage. Some people have never made friends with the opposite sex before marriage, and whoever throws himself into his arms first will have a marriage relationship with him. All these have laid a hidden danger for the future marriage. Where is the safety gate?
Parents should actively guide boys and girls to associate with the opposite sex. Collective emissions are safer than individual emissions. Public release is better than private release. According to insurance researchers, the period of adolescence is 10- 19 years old, but it should enter the preparation period from the age of 8. In the meantime, parents should pay attention to the changes in their children's adolescence. Adolescence has three signs: physiological changes, physical changes and the appearance of sexual feelings. The last sign is often overlooked, but it is very important. Because children's confusion mostly occurs at the emotional level, if the emotional level of sexual confusion is not channeled and the pressure of sex is not alleviated, the act of stealing forbidden fruit is easy to occur.
A class teacher in Grade One told a story that she never dreamed of. When studying in the evening, a particularly honest boy borrowed an eraser from the girl in the front row. The girl didn't look back and handed him the eraser. Unexpectedly, he grabbed the girl's hand and the girl cried, causing the whole class to boo. The next day, the girl did not come to school. The head teacher doesn't understand how an honest man who has never been crazy about girls can do such a stupid thing. So I found him in the office. The boy said with tears, "I was wrong." I just want to touch the hand of this female classmate. I thought for three days and three nights, and I don't know how to touch it. " The teacher asked, "Do you want to touch it? Why don't you give up after touching for 3 minutes? " He looked scared: "I grabbed her hand for so long? I don't even know! "
"When children enter adolescence, parents should actively guide their children to interact with the opposite sex and release sexual pressure through sunshine channels." Chen Yijun said that the honest boy's sudden gaffe was due to his lack of contact with the opposite sex. His accumulated sexual repression is like a high-voltage line, which is short-circuited when touched.
"Whose children can get a heterosexual magnetic field that brings both pleasure and beauty in aboveboard communication, whose children will be more relaxed, sunny and healthier." Chen Yijun believes that the communication between boys and girls will help them complete the second weaning period, form a positive and confident attitude, and prepare for their next love, mate selection and marriage.
"The older the adolescent boys are, the more hormones they secrete, and the stronger the pressure of sexual impulse. Therefore, a safe' door' should be opened as soon as possible to release it. " Chen Yijun believes that this "door" is group communication. The Ministry of Education issued a document a few years ago, stipulating that primary and secondary school students can skip broadcast gymnastics, dance in groups and dance in national standard. The original intention is to provide a channel to release adolescent sexual stress-collective venting is safer than individual venting, and public venting is safer than private venting. Therefore, instead of watching children be mysterious to the opposite sex and afraid to approach them, parents might as well suggest that they go to school together, talk about things together and spend their birthdays together. Schools should also organize extra-curricular activities, so that children can communicate frankly with the opposite sex without any shyness and supervision, relax their nerves and reduce their stress, so as to study with more peace of mind.
In the communication between boys and girls, "puppy love" is an unavoidable problem. In fact, in the face of ignorance, they are more at a loss and at a loss. At this time, parents should use an accepting and caring attitude to encourage their children to speak their true thoughts and guide them to understand that human emotions are beautiful, but the fruits picked too early are sour. Tell children that adolescence should be nourished by rich heterosexual friendship, but don't be obsessed with the relationship with a heterosexual classmate, let alone fall into psychological dependence on a heterosexual classmate. Telling children "I love you" means that I cherish you, and I want to make myself better and make you worthy of loving me; "I love you" means I want to protect you I will never hurt you, and I will not allow others to hurt you.
3. What about sexual health education?
In the class of "Youth and Health", the students sat together and divided into several groups, seriously and enthusiastically discussing the usual "unspeakable" topic. Xiaomei and Xiaode, college students, fell in love. One day, Xiao Liang said to Xiaomei, "I love you very much and I really want to be with you ..." When she said this, she couldn't help hugging Xiaomei. What should Xiaomei do at this time? Promise or reject? What is the reason? What are the consequences of different answers ... In a "Youth and Health" education class at Tianyi Vocational and Technical College in Ningbo, Zhejiang Province, students sat together and divided into three groups, seriously and enthusiastically discussing the usual "unspeakable" topics.
"For a long time, adolescent sexual health education has been a difficult problem for educators. It is ineffective, but it is worried about inducing children to deviate. " Pan Guiyu, executive vice president of China Family Planning Association, said that after half a century of sexual openness, western countries finally turned to chastity education. They explain it from two angles. On the one hand, chastity is the most precious gift a mother gives her children. If you want to have a healthy child all your life, please leave a spotless palace for your child. On the other hand, if you want to ensure that you will not get AIDS in your life from the perspective of sexual infection, please keep your sexual partner for life, that is, be chaste before marriage and be faithful after marriage.
In recent 10 years, schools with13 in the United States increased abstinence education and advocated postponing sex until marriage. 95% of public schools discuss the prevention and treatment of sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS in sex education courses, and nearly half of them teach students contraceptive knowledge. Students' development is unbalanced. How to properly accept this knowledge? Some public schools in the United States give parents the right to know and choose. On the day before each class begins, students should take the lecture outline home. Parents think the content of this lesson is suitable for children, so they choose to let them listen. This "one size fits all" approach is very enlightening.
Drawing lessons from foreign experience, China began to cooperate with international organizations in the 1990s, and carried out pilot projects of adolescent health education in schools and communities, spreading reproductive health knowledge through vivid and rich teaching forms, and paying attention to the training of life skills. At present, there are more than 500 such projects, and 20 13 will be popularized throughout the country.
4. Three misunderstandings of sex education
Myth 1: Sex education for teenagers is enough. According to Durex's global situation report in 2004, the average age of adolescents receiving sex education for the first time in China is 13.7 years old, ranking seventh from the bottom among the 4/kloc-0 countries surveyed. A spokesman for the representative office of the World Health Organization in China told me that when he talked with some college students in Beijing, he found that many people were still ignorant of sex.
Myth 2: The earlier sex education, the earlier sex behavior. This is one of the reasons why many parents are afraid to talk about sex with their children. The representative of the representative office of the United Nations Population Fund in China said: "It is not that teenagers will not have sex if they don't talk about sex. The reality in China and many countries is that there are more and more unmarried pregnant girls. They don't know too much about sex, but too little. "
Myth 3: Sex education is to avoid premarital pregnancy. Professor of the World Health Organization's representative office in China said that sex education for teenagers should not be limited to avoiding premarital sex, but should be extended to prevent AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. According to statistics, as of1September 1999, there were 15000 cases of AIDS and HIV infection in China, of which 58% were young people aged 20-29. However, in countries with developed sex education for teenagers, this proportion is obviously reduced.
In order to strengthen adolescent sexual health education, researchers emphasize the establishment of "three firewalls". The first "firewall" is to prevent minors from having sex, that is, middle school students before the age of 18 should lead an honest and clean life; The second "firewall" is to teach contraception and emergency contraception knowledge; The third "firewall" is about the method of terminating pregnancy.
Entering the spring of life, boys and girls know what to do in spring in order to spend their growing youth healthily and happily.