This kind of rebellious psychology generally appears in children aged 10 ~ 20, which is an inevitable psychological state in the process of children's growth.
Teacher Zhou said that parents of children at this time should pay attention to:-children have strong curiosity and thirst for knowledge. The more parents don't want their children to know and get something, the more children want to know and get it. At this time, parents should pay attention to communicate with their children emotionally, sincerely and patiently. Second, some parents have improper educational methods and often take authoritarian measures to discipline their children. When children grow into a period of rebellious psychology, they will have a strong sense of independence and will deliberately show their abilities. In addition, children's emotional instability makes them more antagonistic to their parents. At this time, parents should respect their children's right to self-determination according to their strong self-esteem, and don't blame them too much even if they make some mistakes. Third, most parents lack psychological knowledge and fail to grasp the law of children's psychological development. Once a child has a conflict with his parents, parents always like to put on airs and adopt a "high-pressure" policy to discipline their children. This will lead to the gradual escalation of children's rebellious psychology, and even bad behaviors such as lying and truancy.
Some people say, "every child is a genius, but parents who don't know how to educate patiently turn their children into mediocrities." This sentence is really terrible for us parents. For every child with personality, the child grows up only once, and each child's situation is different. Therefore, our parents must teach students in accordance with their aptitude and carry out different education according to the development characteristics of children in different periods, so that we can grow up with our children.
Many parents always think that their children's education is given to teachers, and they can also enroll their children in remedial classes on Sundays, so they can work with confidence, let go of their children and ignore their growth.
Some parents said: "teacher, our children are disobedient and naughty at home, but just listen to the teacher." You should be strict with us. If you don't obey at school, you must fight, don't go easy on me. We have absolutely no problem. " When parents say this, the expression on their faces is absolutely sincere, and they have great expectations for the teacher, as if they have unloaded the heavy responsibility of educating their children and completely handed it over to the teacher.
Teacher Zhou said that parents are also educators of children, the first teachers of children, and the teachers who spend the longest time with children and have the greatest influence on children. Parents' behavior plays a decisive role in education. Educate children at every moment of life, even if you are not at home. How you dress, how you talk to others, how you talk about others, how you express happiness and unhappiness, how you treat friends and enemies, how you laugh, how you read newspapers … all these are of great significance to children. All the changes in your attitude and eyes will affect your children invisibly, but you just don't notice them. If you are rude, violent, exaggerated, arrogant or drunk in your family, or worse, even insult your mother, then you have greatly hurt your children, you have educated them badly, and your bad behavior will have the most unfortunate consequences. This is the most basic education method.
Some parents feel guilty for being illiterate. They always think that they lack a lot of things and can't give their children guidance and help in their studies. Therefore, when we ask your child why his homework has not been finished, the parents will say, "Teacher, you see I can't read, and I can't help him. I saw him doing his homework yesterday. I don't know what he wrote. " Even if our parents don't know how to write, they will always understand the truth of being a man. Our attitude towards work and life can always make children feel a positive spirit. Children's study is their own business. As long as our parents watch carefully, we can see the quality of our homework. Some children's homework is so messy that the teacher can't distinguish a complete font at all. Parents who can't write should also have aesthetic ability. I hope parents must have it. Don't make excuses for yourself, and don't forget that children are all your hopes in the future. Because we often not only educate our children to learn, but more importantly, let them learn to be human. Being a virtuous person is our educational aim. We should educate our children to be honest and kind, and let others feel happy because of my existence.
Parents' education for their children is not reflected in how to "teach", but in how parents "do". For children with weak thinking ability, the voice of parents' "teaching" has a much greater influence. We parents should also regard our children as their own mirrors. When we educate our children, they are also educating us. We should always pay attention to our words and deeds and set a good example for our children. If we can study when we get home from work, our children will definitely like reading. If our parents watch TV when they get home and let their children study alone in a room, how can he calm down and study? Although people are trapped at their desks, their hearts are flying by the TV. If you can work hard, children will take learning seriously, and will not be cynical and indifferent to learning, even if their grades are poor.
Teacher Zhou said that the school carefully cultivates children, so what should parents do?
First, pay attention to children's psychological "health". We should start from our own behavior habits, overcome our irritability and fear of suffering, and correct our careless habits; Work and rest on time in life, do your own thing, don't be picky about food, don't spend money indiscriminately, don't be self-centered, and stand up to criticism and setbacks. Improve children's ideological and moral quality, scientific and cultural quality and health quality.
The second is to create a good family learning environment for children. A word of advice to parents: Our parents should not watch TV, play computer or play mahjong while their children are doing their homework. Give children a quiet and comfortable learning environment.
The third is to treat children as friends, understand more, praise more, encourage more, criticize less and blame less. As a child, everyone wants to be the best, however, it is impossible to be the first every time. Tell your child, "We don't want regrets, but we want a clear conscience." I don't ask children to do great things, but I ask them to do every little thing in a down-to-earth way. You don't care about the result, but you must pay attention to the process. When the child failed in the exam, I helped her analyze the reasons and find the gap, so as to avoid making similar mistakes in the exam homework in the future. My goal was achieved. Everyone is lazy. It is natural for children to play, and so are we adults. After a hard day's work, you also want to have a rest, play cards and chat with friends ... so, you should not blame your children for their playfulness, but encourage them to finish their studies quickly before playing. Check homework from time to time. Check homework to let children know that we are always paying attention to him. Parents have to make sacrifices at some point. Read and watch TV with your children, so that they can feel your care and love. I believe that "what you lose will be gained", you will find that your child's heart is close to you, your child will become sensible, and you will find that what you pay is worth it.
Fourth, cultivate a sound personality, encourage him to participate in more collective activities, and enhance the sense of collective honor. For example, parents are advised to encourage their children to participate in various activities organized by the school, so that children have a strong team spirit. Because only in activities can children feel the collective strength and their real happiness!
The fifth is to cultivate children's consciousness and develop good study habits. Let children know what is right and what is wrong. When to do your homework and when to have fun. We should appreciate children's mistakes. When children make mistakes, we should help them analyze and help them get out of trouble. Because at this time, children need help most.
Sixth, actively cooperate with teachers and schools. Teachers are children's knowledge givers and road guides. As parents, we must actively cooperate with teachers and schools to do a good job. Teachers are not saints, nor can they be as perfect as our parents. Teachers want every student to succeed.
For students, Mr. Zhou asked parents to work hard to:
Yi Chan, set a goal. Set each subject as a daily goal, a monthly goal and an annual goal. For example, the score line in Tsinghua University is set at 650, but now it is only 500, so the difference is 150. According to the annual target, set 150 points, and increase 75 points in each semester for two semesters a year, and then increase 15 points in five months according to the monthly plan.
Then the score is decomposed into various subjects, and the actual increase of the score in each subject every year is about 10. And so on.
Second, it is important to pay attention to methods.
The first is the rehearsal.
(1) classification preview. Preview can be divided into three categories in terms of time and content: preview before class, preview in stages and preview in term. Preview before class is to preview the content of the next class before a new class; Stage preview refers to previewing the contents of one or more chapters for a long time; The semester preview is to preview the content of the next semester during the holiday. These three previews are not isolated, but interrelated. Every student should consciously arrange and classify previews in his spare time.
(2) Choose a good preview time. The preview time here refers to the preview before class. Pre-class preview is best arranged in the remaining time after finishing the homework of the day, and the depth and breadth of preview content depends on the amount of time. Of course, you can also arrange to preview in other extracurricular time. In the case of very tight time, it is much better to spend a few minutes before class to scan the text that is about to be said than not to preview it at all.
(3) Browse the new lesson quickly. When previewing, first browse the content to be previewed quickly, so that you can have a general understanding of the new lesson, and initially know what you can understand and what you can't understand, and then read it again carefully with these questions.
(4) Read it carefully for the second time with questions. Through the first quick browse of the new text, I have a preliminary understanding of the content of the new lesson, and then read it carefully for the second time with the problems found in the first browse. Read slowly the second time, and think and understand while reading carefully. When you encounter something you don't understand, stop and think it over. For unfamiliar words and new words, you should consult the reference book immediately to understand them. If you really don't understand, write them down and bring them to class, and then solve them in class.
(5) Take notes while reading. The second reading time is the time to take notes. There are two kinds of preview notes: one is written in a book, and the other is written in a book. Taking notes in a book means drawing sketches or annotations in the blank or related contents of the book while reading it carefully; Taking notes in a notebook is-while reading carefully, write down the key points and the contents that you don't understand in a notebook.
(6) Find out the key points and doubts. In the preview, we must find out the key points and doubts of the new lesson content, and then bring them to class. In class, when the teacher talks about the key points and doubts he is looking for, he must listen carefully, think seriously and listen to the ideas explained by the teacher. After the teacher explained, some questions are still unclear. We should seize the time and opportunity to ask the teacher questions until we understand the doubts found in the preview.
(7) The combination of reading and data search. In the process of previewing reading, you should immediately consult dictionaries, dictionaries and other reference materials for unfamiliar words, unfamiliar words and incomprehensible contents, and make phonetic notes and comments on new words and phrases.
(8) think independently and find problems. The key to successful preview is to be able to think independently, find problems and ask questions. In the preview, we should think first and then check the information; First find the problem, then ask the question; Read the meaning first, then take notes.
(9) Don't fully preview. When previewing, don't-it is unrealistic to preview comprehensively. It is difficult to guarantee time, energy and quality. To preview, you must first choose the content that you find difficult. When time is tight, first find out the new words and list the places you don't understand. When time is short, you should read the new lesson quickly first. Don't give up previewing just because the homework time is tight.
(10) Different disciplines adopt different methods. When previewing, you can't take thousands of classes. Different subjects should adopt different methods to preview and grasp different points. For example, when preparing for the science exam, we should focus on learning the theorems, laws, formulas, concepts and principles of mathematics; The focus of liberal arts preview is to exclude new words, new words, central ideas, paragraph ideas and writing styles.
The second is the link to correct mistakes. Every time you do your homework, you should correct the wrong questions first, and then write a new homework. If you can't correct your mistakes in time, it's easy to bring them into your new homework. Correcting a wrong topic is more useful than writing ten new topics, because you can realize your mistakes in correcting them and try not to "lift a rock to drop it on your own feet". In addition, developing the habit of correcting mistakes in time is also very helpful for you to learn new knowledge, so please pay attention to correcting mistakes and develop the good habit of correcting mistakes in time. The third is the reading link. Chinese reading comprehension is very important, which accounts for a large proportion in the whole Chinese exam. First of all, you should have a wide range of reading interests. The so-called reading breaks thousands of volumes, so that you can write like a god. Secondly, we should have targeted practice and counseling. Reading comprehension training with different difficulties. Finally, master some skills and methods of reading comprehension.
1. Clear the main idea. Literary works often reflect an essential aspect of social life through stories, which is the theme. There is always a central topic in argumentative essays, and the author clarifies his own views and demonstrates them. Popular science articles often point out a topic and scientifically analyze and explain it through examples or experiments. Even news reports take an event as the main content of the report, explaining the time, place, reason, process and result of the event clearly, thus attracting readers' general attention. Therefore, it is very important to grasp the theme, center and general idea of the article quickly.
Step 2 get to the point. Reading and understanding the information in the passage is intensive reading, and it is not required to understand every sentence thoroughly and memorize all the information in an instant. After understanding the main idea of the passage, you can quickly master the relevant paragraphs or sentences according to the test questions for verification and analysis, and then make a reasonable judgment.
3. Manage orders. The cause and effect of things, the size and direction of the place, the value of the goods, the content and time of the course, the ideological quality of the characters, etc. Be sure to compare and sort out according to the requirements of the test questions, and then make a judgment.
4. Break the doubt. In fast reading, there are bound to be many doubts, such as unclear understanding of certain words and sentences, unclear relationship between characters and events, unclear attitude of the author and so on. Sometimes, after reading a difficult essay, it even makes people feel foggy. How to break through doubts and improve reading mentality? First, use test questions to break doubts; Second, compare the similarities and differences of terms to solve doubts.
Chinese reading comprehension is a comprehensive question, which can effectively test students' reading comprehension ability and Chinese literacy.
Read it carefully. The basis of reading comprehension. If you want to have a profound and thorough understanding, you must read it again and again. The ancients said, "You can read a book a hundred times before you know its meaning." This is a fact. The main points, central ideas, writing ideas and writing clues of the article are all hidden in the article. As long as you read it repeatedly and strengthen your perception, you can deeply understand and accurately grasp it.
However, some students are eager for success, ignoring the reading of the original text, reading only in general, and not asking for too much understanding. So a little knowledge of the original text may even lead to misunderstanding. On this basis, understanding is better than cooking without rice. Won't the conclusion be a castle in the air? Of course, familiar reading does not mean mechanical repetition, but also gives some time and space for thinking.
Think deeply. That is to say, readers should stand on the height of the author, organically combine their own cultural quality and subjective consciousness, actively, efficiently and meticulously run their thinking, and deeply explore the psychological process of the deep meaning of the article. Any article will leave some room for readers to think. So, don't be lazy to think, don't dabble, think deeply and get to the point. Only in this way can we solve the problem like an expert knows a cow.
Avoid taking it out of context. The article is the author's whole consciousness. Between all parts, between all levels are flesh and blood, one integrated mass. So, how can we ignore the integrity of the article and take it out of context? The correct way is to start from the whole article, around the high point of the article, from shallow to deep, and determine it layer by layer. Only in this way can our understanding be impartial and full of fallacies.
Teacher Zhou said that students should have certain methods when reading comprehension questions.
1, contact up and down. Consider the problem in context. This method is suitable for understanding the meaning of words; Understand profound sentences; Find synonyms, antonyms, etc.
2. empathy. That is to say, let us exchange roles with the author, think and answer questions from the author's standpoint. This method is suitable for answering questions and understanding the author's thoughts and feelings.
3. Contact life. That is, jump out of the text, expand the scope of thinking, and think about related things: such as the text you have learned, the accumulation of knowledge, and whether life experience can help you solve problems. This method is especially suitable for talking about one's feelings, experiences or understanding of profound sentence topics.
4, based on the center. This is the most important way to solve the reading problem. Every question is thought from the center of the article, and the answer has a foothold.
Reasonable control of the answer time, easy first, then difficult. When solving problems, don't look at reading comprehension questions, but look for answers from reading comprehension articles, because this method is difficult to improve reading comprehension, especially for articles with deep reading comprehension. First of all, we should browse, read and understand the full text and have a general understanding of it. After reading, you should remember the main points of reading comprehension, the important conclusions of reading comprehension and some key names, places, definitions and figures in reading comprehension (different names and places can be marked in the article with a pencil for easy search).
Grasp the problem-solving speed of reading comprehension and effectively control the answering time of reading comprehension. From easy to difficult is reading comprehension. When you encounter reading comprehension problems, don't get into trouble and waste too much time. If you can't do it for a while, give up decisively so as not to affect other topics that are more sure. After all the reading comprehension questions are solved, if you still have time, come back and give up the questions.
The fourth is the review session.
After-class review method: The so-called after-class review method means that we use 10 minutes after class to digest and absorb the knowledge we have just talked about. Because the teacher just finished speaking, our understanding and memory of knowledge reached its peak. At this time, we can firmly remember what we have learned as long as we review and consolidate it a little.
Memory before going to bed: Psychologists' research shows that people wake up in the morning and remember things before going to bed at night. You may not have time in the morning, but you must have time in the evening. Since we missed the morning, we certainly can't miss the evening. Before going to bed, we need to systematically screen what we have learned today. Although it is a day's knowledge, it takes little time and has a good memory effect.
Chapter review method: No matter which subject is divided into big chapters and small classes, generally, after all the classes of a chapter are finished, the whole chapter will be systematically strung together. As a review, we can also do this, because since it is a chapter of knowledge, all the previous classes must be related, so we can find out their similarities and string these bits and pieces of knowledge together by lines with linked memory method, which is more convenient for us to remember.
Assault before the exam: as the saying goes, when you get cold feet, you sharpen your knife and don't miss the woodcutter. Many students usually make a surprise attack before exams. Although this method is not desirable, I have to say that the memory of the surprise before the exam is still deep, especially if you see a knowledge point in the exam and get it, your memory will be deeper. Although it is not an effective review method, it has a certain effect.
Review by turns: Although we study more than one subject, some students like to review only one. For example, if the language is not good, they have been trying to review the language and don't ask other subjects at all. In fact, this is a bad habit. People who do something repeatedly for a long time will inevitably be tired, leading to burnout and failing to achieve the expected results. So when we review, don't just review one subject, let them take turns reading it.
Interval memory method: Some students like to review all the knowledge together. In fact, this is a very bad review method. This is because too concentrated review content is easy to cause fatigue of cerebral cortex cells, thus reducing the memory effect. Therefore, we need to systematically review our knowledge with interval memory method every once in a while. Of course, the interval should not be too long. After all, people's memory is limited, and it will be forgotten if it takes too long.
Error correction method: mistakes will inevitably be made during the examination. Whether you are careless or just can't, you should habitually collect these mistakes. Each subject should establish an independent set of mistakes. When we review before the exam, they are the key review objects, so since you missed it once, you can't make a mistake twice. So as not to lose points on the same issue again.
Teacher Zhou asked parents to start with cultivating their children's good study habits.
The first is the habit of active learning. Others can take the initiative to learn without urging. As soon as they study, they are required to get into the state immediately and try to make efficient use of every minute of study time. Consciously focus on your study and stick to it.
The second is the habit of completing the prescribed learning tasks on time. It is necessary to complete the prescribed learning tasks within the prescribed time. Divide each prescribed learning time into several time periods, and assign specific learning tasks for each time period according to the learning content, and ask yourself to complete a specific learning task within a time period. Doing so can reduce or even avoid absent-mindedness or inattention in learning, and effectively improve learning efficiency. You can also feel a sense of success after completing each specific learning task, so that you can happily devote yourself to the next stage of learning.
The third is the habit of all-round development and impartiality in all disciplines. What modern society urgently needs is to cultivate all-round compound talents, so it requires middle school students to develop in an all-round way and not be partial to subjects. This requires middle school students to study subjects they don't like harder and constantly improve their interest in learning. For subjects that you don't like or have a weak foundation, you can lower the standard appropriately, and according to your actual situation, you can establish the initial goals, medium-term goals and long-term goals that you can achieve through hard work, and then ask yourself to complete them. This is an effective way to overcome the phenomenon of partiality.
The fourth is the habit of previewing. Pre-class preparation can improve classroom learning efficiency and help cultivate self-study ability. When previewing, we should carefully study what we want to learn, understand and use preview skills, refer to reference books or related materials for study, seriously think about related problems, and mark the questions we don't understand so as to focus on listening, learning and practicing in class.
The fifth is the habit of listening carefully. In class, teachers not only use words to convey information, but also use actions and expressions to convey information and communicate with students with their eyes. Therefore, middle school students must stare at the teacher in class, follow the teacher's ideas, and mobilize all sensory organs to participate in learning. Whether all sensory organs can be mobilized for learning is a key factor affecting learning efficiency. Full of emotions and concentration in class; Grasp the key points and clarify the key points; Actively participate, think and analyze; Speak boldly and express your thoughts.
Sixth, the habit of actively answering questions in class.
Middle school students should be the masters of learning, and they should think carefully about every problem in class. Actively answering questions can promote thinking, deepen understanding, enhance memory, improve psychological quality and promote the emergence of innovative consciousness. Take the initiative to answer questions, stand up quickly and speak loudly and clearly.
Seventh, the habit of actively answering questions in class. Think carefully about every problem in class. Answering questions actively can promote thinking, deepen understanding, enhance memory, improve psychological quality and promote the emergence of innovative consciousness. Take the initiative to answer questions, stand up quickly and speak loudly and clearly.
Eight is the habit of thinking more, asking more questions and questioning boldly. Study hard, be thoughtful and be curious. "Thinking more" means seriously thinking about the relationship between knowledge points, thinking methods, knowledge and real life, and forming a system. "Being good at asking questions" means not only asking yourself why, but also asking teachers, classmates and others humbly, so as to improve yourself. Moreover, in the process of learning, we should pay attention to discovering problems, studying problems and creating things, dare to question existing conclusions and statements reasonably, dare to challenge authority on the premise of respecting science, and never let go of any problem easily. To know that "the stupidest question is not asking questions", you should get into the habit of asking others for advice.
Nine is the habit of taking notes in class. When you listen carefully, you should write some simple notes or marks. Key contents, difficult problems and key sentences of "circle, point, tick and draw", and write down some key words. Some experiments show that you can only master 30% of the content in class and 50% of each word, but you can master 80% of what you have learned by sketching important contents in class, recording key sentences about key points in the book and sorting them out after class.
+is the habit of reviewing after class. Don't rush to do your homework after class. First of all, you should carefully review what you have learned in each class, summarize the main points of knowledge, find out the connection between knowledge, sort out the connection between old and new knowledge, and form a knowledge structure or a summary and gradual knowledge structure. Take the initiative to ask and make up for what you didn't learn well. Pay attention to reviewing different learning contents alternately.
+-is the habit of finishing homework in time. Finish the homework assigned by the teacher and the homework selected by yourself on time, think carefully, write carefully and be meticulous, and find solutions to the problems existing in the homework. After you finish your homework, you should think about its main features and points in order to get the effect of giving inferences by analogy. The homework is wrong, so we should correct it in time.
Twelve is the habit of stage review. After a period of study, we should summarize what we have learned, form the knowledge structure of units and chapters, and sketch the schema in our minds. This is an important part of systematizing knowledge, firmly mastering knowledge and forming discipline ability.
Thirteen is the habit of consciously cultivating creative thinking ability. (1) Identify the problems you face. (2) Collect all relevant information. (3) Break the original pattern and try various new combinations from eight aspects. Including changing direction, angle, starting point, order, quantity, scope, conditions, environment and so on. (4) mobilize all sensory organs to participate. (5) Let the brain relax and let the mind be inspired by as many fields as possible. (6) Test new achievements. The above six steps are effective methods to solve homework problems.
Through the study of the above skills, I believe parents will be inspired and helpful.