Recently, the biggest melon, an actress surrogate, was abandoned.
There seems to have been a lot of discussion about surrogacy online, such as:
Surrogacy is a threat to the health and even health of surrogates.
Surrogate mothers who are not pregnant with boys may be asked to have an abortion;
Unhealthy children born by surrogacy will be abandoned;
Surrogacy is the physical exploitation of the poor by the rich; ……
Surrogacy, like CCTV news commentary, is intolerable in law and morality.
Find someone else to do something for yourself.
Driving is very common in life, such as: drinking to find a driver;
Want to be king, find body double;
Some of these things that others cannot replace cannot be done. For example, if you can't drive after drinking, then you can't.
Some people don't want to do it, for example, they have the ability to clean, and they don't want to do it themselves at all.
What kind of surrogacy does it belong to?
In the case of an actress's surrogacy, she is obviously unwilling to do it.
Then, can there be such an interpretation: Surrogacy = Women don't want to get pregnant, so they find someone else to get pregnant, not themselves.
As we all know, pregnancy does bring some discomfort/pain, such as:
Physical discomfort/pain, morning sickness, appetite change (unable to eat or always hungry), sleep disorder, constipation, inconvenient sexual life, low back pain, frequent urination, cramps, edema, etc.
Because of the inconvenience of pregnancy, people need help in dressing, undressing, wearing shoes, wearing socks and carrying things;
Declining face value, pregnancy and diet during pregnancy will make the body run counter to the mainstream beauty, and there may be stretch marks on the body;
This kind of body affects work, and it is normal to do a bad job; ……
Women do experience all kinds of discomfort when they are pregnant. As a prospective father, I also accompanied them through this process.
After knowing this surrogacy, I asked my wife in the third trimester: Have you considered surrogacy?
Madam: I haven't thought about it.
Me: If you are a surrogate, you don't have to go through all kinds of pains during pregnancy, don't you?
Wife: It's amazing to feel the baby growing up in his own body.
Her answer confirmed an idea in my heart, just like the process of pregnancy. For her, besides all kinds of discomfort/pain, there are many other experiences, such as knowing the happiness/expectation of becoming a mother, feeling the happiness of the baby growing up in her body, and feeling connected with the baby's blood. ...
If a woman can have the above feelings/thoughts in her heart, we might as well call her a loving mother.
But from another point of view, it is precisely because a woman has a strong and stable image of a loving mother that she will become a loving mother in reality. Faced with so much pain/discomfort, she can still decide to get pregnant and use her body as a container for her baby's growth.
Surrogacy is not the mainstream, but we can't be optimistic that contemporary women have a stable and powerful image of loving mother, because more and more women don't want to be mothers, and these women appear in consultation rooms, which is not uncommon in life. The image of loving mother comes from the mother prototype in our hearts. Prototype is a concept put forward by psychologist Jung. Use a metaphor to describe it:
The mother prototype is like a coloring book about mother, which contains all kinds of mother images such as loving mother, dead mother and controlling mother.
These different images of mothers are blank and have no filling color;
Everyone's experience of interacting with his mother in life will color one or several images of his mother. For example, a person's mother likes to criticize/accuse, and the harsh mother in ta's heart will be colored, and the image of the harsh mother will appear in ta's heart.
It can be said that the mother prototype provides a template for all kinds of mother images, and the interactive experience between a person and his mother will fill the corresponding mother images and make these mother images really activated.
And these activated mother images will be preserved in one's heart.
For a man, it will affect his original view of women and how he interacts with women; For women, it will affect her view of women, affect her interaction with women, and more importantly, affect her actions as a mother.
This effect is not even conscious. "My mother did this to me, so did she, and I am like this now." This influence is more unconscious. A woman's inner mother image has influenced her state/action as a mother without her own consciousness.
Therefore, when we see that women are surrogates and many women don't want to be mothers, we can guess that they have not inherited a loving mother image from their own mothers, but inherited other types of mother images.
The inner image of a mother will be influenced not only by the experience of interacting with her, but also by the culture/atmosphere of the whole society.
Looking at the cultural level again, we can also notice that there are some problems in the image of loving mother passed down from generation to generation. It seems that we are no longer kneeling under the idol of loving mother, but chasing after this female man, strong woman and iron lady ... If a woman wants to be a loving mother, spend more time with her children and take a few days off, the leader thinks she has no intention of working, so she is fired. When she got home, her partner accused her of not taking care of her work, and then her heart was on her.
It is a long way to go to invite the loving mother to return and protect her.
For women, it is a good choice to enter psychological counseling, in which you can explore what kind of colorful mother image is in your heart, and you can also color the image of loving mother through counseling experience. If you meet a good enough partner, you may also save a consulting fee.
For men, if they want more loving mothers in the world, they should sincerely pray and call for the return of loving mothers hidden behind the scenes. They need to know that the image of a loving mother will never be destroyed and sincerely pray that she will be activated.
If you meet her, protect her and be a powerful goddess protector.
Text/Mangrove Senior Consultant Liang Qiaohui