Whether you have the habit of honoring your parents is not only the relationship between children and parents, but also a big question of whether you can care about others. We can often see such a family life scene: there are delicious things at home, and parents always let their children taste them first, but children rarely ask their parents to eat them first; Once a child is ill, his parents will be very busy and take care of him in every possible way, while his parents are unwell and his children seldom greet him. These are all worrying.
Only by developing the good habit of honoring parents can we care about our colleagues and be loyal to our motherland in society. Therefore, we must not neglect the good habit of cultivating children to respect their elders and honor their parents. How to cultivate children to form a good habit of honoring their parents?
It is necessary to establish a reasonable family relationship between young people and old people. "Reasonable differences between young and old" is different from feudal paternalism and centralized management. The so-called "rationality" means that all family members (including children) are democratic and equal first. Parents should respect their children's independent personality, especially when dealing with their own affairs, they must fully listen to their children's opinions and do things according to their reasonable wishes as much as possible. At the same time, the family is a whole, and we can't go it alone. Someone must be the head of the family to "lead" the family, manage and guide the lives of all family members. Parents are the providers of family life and have rich production experience, so they should naturally become the core and subject of the family. Children (especially minors) should live and study with the guidance and help of their parents. Nowadays, in many families, children are "little suns", but their parents have become the moon and attendants around them, which provides the soil for children to form a bullying character centered on me, let alone cultivate a good habit of filial piety to their parents. Therefore, it is necessary for children to understand the relationship between themselves and their parents, and to know that parents are elders and masters of family life, and they should not reverse their priorities and let children be brave and fool around in the family.
Let the children know how hard their parents have worked for him and his family. Nowadays, many children don't know their parents' jobs and how their parents get their money. All they know is asking their parents for money to buy this and that. They think it is natural for parents to eat, dress and use their children well. How can such a child sincerely honor his parents? To this end, parents should consciously and often tell their children about their work and income outside. The more specific they are, the more they will let their children know that their parents' money is hard-won. Children will naturally cherish their own lives gradually, and they will also feel grateful and respectful to their parents from the bottom of their hearts.
We should start from small things and train and cultivate children's behavior habits of honoring their parents. The general requirements for educating children to be filial to their parents are: listen to their parents' teachings, care about their health, share their worries, participate in housework, and not add chaos to their parents. To turn these requirements into children's practical actions, we must start from daily trifles. For example, care about parents' health: ask children to greet their parents who come home from work every day; When parents are tired, children should take the initiative to help or ask their parents to rest; When parents go out, children should remind their parents to forget things or pay attention to weather changes; When parents are sick, children should take the initiative to take care of them, say more words of comfort and receive guests for them. Children have to bear the housework they have to do, even if they put chopsticks at dinner.
According to children's age, ability and learning situation, reasonable distribution, specific guidance, patient training and enthusiastic encouragement. This will not only help children develop the habit of doing housework, but also help children to continuously enhance the concept of filial piety to their parents: "My parents raised me, so I should do more for them."
To set an example, parents themselves should set an example of filial piety to their elders. Children's attitude towards their parents is directly influenced by their parents' attitude towards their elders. There is a story worth learning. Once upon a time, there was a middle-aged couple who were very unfilial to their elderly parents. They drove the old man to a shabby little house and gave him some spoiled food in a small wooden bowl every meal. One day, when they saw their son carving a piece of wood, they asked the child what he was carving. The child said, "carve a wooden bowl, and it will be easy to use when you are old." At this time, the middle-aged couple suddenly woke up, invited their parents back to the main room to live with them, threw away the small wooden bowl and took out the best food at home for the elderly. As a result, the children's attitude towards them changed, and the three generations of the family lived in harmony. It can be seen that the role model of parents has a great influence on children. Nowadays, middle-aged couples still ignore their parents. Some middle-aged couples not only don't take care of their parents, but do everything possible to "scrape" the property of the elderly, which has a worse impact on their children. Therefore, we should not only take care of our small family, but also take care of our elderly parents at all times. Never forget Lao Tzu after adding a son. If you can't get along with the elderly because you live far from home, then try to take time off to take your children to visit the elderly on holidays, help them do some housework, play with them and do their duties and obligations. After such a long time, children will gradually develop a good habit of respecting their elders and honoring their parents.
Character 2: Honesty and integrity
Dr Piaget, a famous developmental psychologist, found that children under 4 years old regard whether their parents are happy or not as the standard to measure their behavior. In order not to make parents angry, the easiest way is not to admit what they have done.
Lying means different problems at different ages, and honest character is gradually formed. Don't attribute a child's lying to his nature. On the contrary, you should cultivate his honesty in the following ways according to his understanding.
Let children understand the meaning of honesty: it is very important to help children aged 2-3 or even 4 to learn what is false and what is true.
Lead by example: Parents are the people whose children imitate the most, so it is very important that you can set an honest example for your children.
Don't make children lie: parents often know what they have done wrong by encouraging them to lie. This includes:
Don't use questions. Tell the child what he did wrong.
2. Don't give your child a chance to find fault. Don't ask about your child without fully understanding it.
Distinguish between doing something wrong and lying: tell your child that if he tells the truth, you won't be so angry, and lying will only bring him double trouble.
1. Punish the child, but don't be so severe that he is willing to take risks and lie.
Punish the behavior first, then deal with the lies.
Strengthen honest behavior: Remember, rewarding honesty is more important than punishing lying. Children's honest behavior must be taken seriously and given appropriate praise.
Moral character three: sense of responsibility
Responsibility is an important personality quality for a person to stand on the society, achieve career success and family happiness in the future. So, how should parents cultivate their children's sense of responsibility?
Consciously give children some tasks and exercise their ability to do things independently. As children grow older, parents should gradually teach their children to do their own things. Ask before you do it and encourage your child to finish it carefully. If the child encounters difficulties, parents can give guidance in language, but they must not do everything instead, so that the child has the opportunity to complete things independently.
Encourage children to do things well from beginning to end. Children are curious and want to touch everything, but they are very casual and always do things anticlimactic. Therefore, parents should check, supervise and evaluate the results of things given to their children, even if they are very small, and cultivate their children's good habit of perseverance and serious responsibility.
Children can be properly informed of some parents' worries and difficulties. Ask some questions, guide children to think and choose independently, and express their views boldly. Let children feel the happiness of the family, which depends on the participation of parents and themselves, thus enhancing their sense of responsibility for the family.
Encourage children to take responsibility bravely. For example, children and their parents went to a friend's house to play and accidentally damaged items. At this time, the child should know that his own fault caused this consequence and should be compensated. After that, be sure to take the children shopping together and apologize to a friend's house.
Personality 4: Be considerate of others.
In order to cultivate children into understanding people, the most important thing is that parents should treat their children gently with understanding. At the same time, we should fully understand the child's mood and try to consider the problem from the child's point of view. Moreover, the couple should also read some books about children's psychological growth and have a certain understanding of the child's spiritual development process. In addition, the couple had better plan and exchange views on how to raise their children.
However, there is no need to read those obscure professional books, just know some basic common sense. For example, even if we only know that children have the first negative period, the middle resistance period and the second resistance period, then the parenting style will be very different.
When the seeds of understanding grow slowly in children's hearts, children will gradually take care of the emotions of their parents and people around them and try not to let themselves do things that cause trouble to others. This is the result of parents cultivating their children with understanding, and the hard work of raising has been rewarded.
Two conditions for cultivating understanding.
The mother fully accepts the child's physical coquetry, enables the child to obtain emotional stability, and trusts her as a "base in the heart", which is the primary condition for cultivating the child's understanding of the heart.
The second condition for cultivating children's understanding is to intentionally let children perceive each other's difficulties. Moreover, when a child does something that makes his mother feel headache, don't reprimand him first, but "complain" to him with emotion.
When children do something that bothers their parents, it is actually a good opportunity to cultivate their understanding. For example, the child picked up some muddy stones from the outside and put them on the tatami to play. At this time, if you say to him, "tatami will be dirty, his mother will be very annoyed." Letting him know that someone is embarrassed about this will promote the growth of children's understanding.