In modern times, more and more people are anxious about their job prospects, health and when they can buy a house. Proper anxiety can promote one's own progress and growth, but excessive anxiety is not worth the loss.
In order to get rid of the pressure caused by anxiety, smoking, drinking, indulging in games and other ways are adopted to escape the real problems, but after the game is over and the wine wakes up, endless emptiness will come again.
Excessive anxiety can also affect learning. The author once couldn't calm down when he was very anxious. Whether listening to audio, watching courses or reading books, the learning effect must be very poor.
The most effective way to solve anxiety is to solve the problem. Actually, who doesn't want to solve the puzzle? Problems that can be easily solved are not anxious. Often this problem is difficult, difficult to solve or the problem that needs waiting time may disappear automatically.
The cause of anxiety is a negative imagination and a sense of out of control about things that will not happen in the future, so "living in the present" can be freed from the quagmire of anxiety.
Living in the present will regret not making long-term plans after many years, not wanting to work tomorrow, and not wanting to make plans for next month. It is necessary to arrange your own time view reasonably.
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If time is divided into past, present and future dimensions, then the concept of time is the proportion of your attention to these three dimensions and how to treat them.
Zimbardo, the author of Psychology of Time, divides the sense of time into six categories:
The first one: the positive view of time in the past
People with this view of time tend to recall good memories of the past, like to keep photos of the past, and have a positive and optimistic attitude towards the past.
The second kind: the negative view of time in the past.
People with this view of time often think of bad memories of the past, immerse themselves in past sadness, and often blame themselves for "I wish I hadn't done that" and "I would have done that better than now", trying to recover past losses through memories.
Third: the concept of enjoying time now.
Today's wine makes you drunk, and the mantra is "why think so much", because only by paying attention to immediate interests and eating, drinking and having fun in time will you have a higher sense of happiness.
Fourth: the time view of fatalism now.
This is also a kind of living in the present, the difference is that they think that hard work is unlikely to change their destiny, so they want what the environment gives them. When they encounter a sad hurdle, they will try to save it through first aid and fortune telling. The mantra is: "This is all life", which can alleviate the moral blame and responsibility brought by mistakes.
Fifth: the future view of time.
People with this view of time focus on the future, have long-term goals and make detailed plans, but many times plans can't keep up with changes and know how to delay satisfaction. But because you have to wait a long time, you have to endure long-term dissatisfaction, which is also the most anxious view of time. Those who are not firm in their thoughts will easily collapse before that moment.
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Everyone has a dominant view of time, which silently affects our behavior and psychological feelings.
For example, in the face of a good meal, hedonists will eat a lot and drink wine today; And those who have opinions about the future time will be bound.
Can you think about your view of time?
The concept of time can not only affect our behavior and mood, but also be influenced by the environment and our own behavior. Just as the mind affects the body, so does the body.
When a person is dissatisfied with his present job or feels the pressure of mortgage, the future view of time will dominate;
When faced with delicious food or playing games, the concept of hedonic time will now dominate;
When reuniting with family and friends, the positive view of time in the past will appear.
In other words, when a view of time prevails, the original view of time will be temporarily diluted.
What's the use of knowing this?
As we know, anxiety is a kind of negative imagination and out-of-control feeling about things that have not happened. Knowing the root causes, the way to relieve anxiety is obvious. The way is to arrange a reasonable time to "live in the present" and immerse yourself in what you are doing now. This is the psychological "flow" state.
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Changing yourself requires not only understanding concepts, but also action. Trying to enter the state of "flow" can effectively reduce anxiety and stress.
"Flow" is a concept of positive psychology, which refers to the experience that a person's mental state moves from disorder to order. Anxiety itself is a state of disorder, tension, fear and worry. The antonym of disorder is concentration. Only when you have a goal that you are willing to pay for can you reach the realm of selflessness.
The difficulty of entering the "flow" activity must be moderate. If it is too difficult, you will feel frustrated. If it is too difficult, you will feel bored. As the difficulty increases, you can feel the improvement of your skills.
So, you can ask yourself, what can you do to enter the flow state? It is best to find the method that suits you best. Although playing games can also enter a state of flow, it is difficult to improve your skills unless you are a professional player, so it does not count.
What behavior can make us live in the present and focus on things? Here are three ways to exercise your attention:
Method 1: Meditation
You can meditate for a period of time when you are quiet every night, as long as your posture is comfortable and your attention is focused on breathing.
If a person is inconvenient to meditate, there is a simple meditation technique that can be applied at any time-three minutes of attention practice.
The first minute: think carefully about what you are worried about, whether there is a solution, and try to comfort yourself by learning to wait or let go;
The second minute: concentrate on breathing and not think about things for the time being;
Minute 3: Open your eyes, look around and listen to the voices outside.
This is to let you focus your confused thoughts on one point, such as breathing, sound and body.
Why is every minute different?
Because this process will make you feel that your thinking and state are flowing, just like an hourglass, sand flows from a wide mouth to a narrow mouth, through the bottleneck and into a new space.
This is the least difficult and easiest way to practice attention. Three minutes' experience will tell you that anxiety is only a temporary feeling. It can't kidnap you. There's nothing to be afraid of.
Method 2: Exercise
Exercise can produce dopamine, a hormone that makes people feel happy. Choose exercise items reasonably according to daily time, such as running, push-ups and dumbbells.
Method 3: read and write:
Reading books can increase the amount of information and help solve problems faster.
Writing can help us sort out the problems we encounter, and maybe we can find a solution through writing! Writing is also the best way to enter the "flow" state. When writing, the author often feels that an hour has passed.
The ideal view of time is to be able to recall and look at the past positively, imagine the future properly and plan the future time, and fully enjoy the happiness of the present. People who live in this state are least likely to be anxious.