The pain of divorce is inevitable. The more you run away, the more intense the pain. First of all, we must face the pain, accept the pain, and face the pain for the first time. Why is there such a big difference between people? Because everyone has different attitudes and methods towards pain, the outcome is naturally very different. Since everyone has pain, it depends on how to deal with it. Therefore, you must allow yourself a painful time after divorce, which is the only way after divorce. You can't avoid it. You just need to go, you don't need to try to bypass it.
When you admit your pain, you have given in to it. You don't need to resist pain and consume more energy. You just let yourself take it in peace. In the pain, you can clearly see your healthy and unhealthy prototype in this failed relationship. Where is health? What's unhealthy? You can speak slowly in this pain. Then what you have to do is to eliminate those unhealthy prototypes bit by bit.
In this process, you must have some negative self-affirmation, such as self-doubt, inferiority, hope for the future and loss of confidence in love. You may often ask yourself: Will I meet the right person again? Will I ever fall in love with someone else again? Will others fall in love with me again? Is everyone the same? I'll never get married again. If it doesn't fit, I'll get a divorce again. Very troublesome. I might as well live alone. If this negative self-affirmation has been bothering a person, he will suffer for a long time. His affirmation of himself is negative and negative, but life always has ups and downs, so how should he face it well?