● Is the gift-giving voluntary by students or "endorsed" by parents? Does the gift-giving party affect the fairness of education?
● How to treat gift giving and normal teacher-student relationship? ● Don't let the disadvantaged groups worry about giving gifts.
Editor's Note: On holidays, it is understandable that primary and secondary school students voluntarily send greeting cards, desk calendars, calendars or make small souvenirs themselves to show their respect and gratitude to teachers. However, in recent years, the reporter found that while sending greeting cards, some schools have quietly spawned a gift-giving trend. This phenomenon has aroused social concern. How should we look at this problem? What should we think behind the gift? To this end, at the beginning of the new year, this newspaper specially invited some people to comment on how to treat the topic of students giving gifts to teachers.
The reporter witnessed the scene.
In order to understand the phenomenon of students giving gifts to teachers, the reporter chose "Teacher's Day" as a specific day and conducted random interviews in several schools in Beijing.
September 2002 10, at the gate of Beijing d primary school at 7: 20 am. Students in school uniforms walked into the school one after another. The reporter found that two-thirds of the students enrolled in the school had flowers, greeting cards and beautifully packaged small gift boxes. Not far from the school gate, a mother in plain clothes watched her daughter walk into the school with helpless eyes, which attracted the attention of the reporter and went forward to talk with her. During the conversation, I learned that both she and her husband have left their jobs and family life is tight. Today is Teacher's Day. My daughter's wish to buy a gift for her teacher has not come true. I feel very sorry for her, but she has promised her daughter that her wish will come true next year. In a short time, a young mother rode a bicycle, dressed in decent clothes and sent her daughter to school, holding three beautiful Bai Baihe in her hand. The reporter caught up and asked: Why do you want to bring flowers to school? Why bring three flowers? When did you buy the flowers? It turns out that my daughter is a class cadre, and my mother thinks that her daughter's growth is the result of teacher training. Today is "Teacher's Day". My mother lined up with her daughter the night before to buy 1 lily for the head teacher, math teacher and English teacher to express her gratitude to the teacher.
At 7: 40, the reporter came to Beijing Z Primary School. Twenty meters northwest of the school, a flower seller was surrounded by school students. In less than five minutes, all the flowers in the bucket were robbed. Among the students who entered the school, a boy who didn't bring a gift wiped his tears and blamed his father for not giving him a teacher gift.
At 7: 55, the reporter rushed to G Primary School again. At this time, all the students had already entered the classroom. The reporter at the school gate learned that the school opened a mailbox for students today, "Let me speak my mind with the teacher" as a holiday gift from the students to the teacher. This "gift" left a deep impression on the reporter.
At 8: 20, the reporter walked into Beijing Hope Primary School, a school for children of migrant workers he interviewed. Xiao, the young headmaster, told the reporter that today is "Teacher's Day" and the school has a day off to celebrate. On the teacher's desk, the reporter saw flowers inserted in glass bottles and gift boxes with less delicate packaging. A male teacher with a Henan accent told reporters that flowers and small gifts were sent by students yesterday afternoon. This is the first time he received a gift on Teachers' Day. He was surprised and moved.
Although it has been several months, an unspeakable mood has been lingering in my heart. The helpless eyes of laid-off women workers; A boy crying and blaming his father, etc. , can't walk away. Why do students give gifts to their teachers? How will the teacher treat those students who don't give gifts to the teacher? A very simple thing, but now it is mixed with so many indistinguishable "connotations", which makes this topic so heavy!
The Spring Festival is coming soon. Do you want to give a gift to the teacher? What gift? It has become a difficult task for many children and parents. (Reporter Chen Xiaotong)
Free parents and calm teachers.
Zhao Zhongxin
China is a country of etiquette. Politeness is human nature. You are good to me, and I can't fail you. There is nothing wrong with ordinary people's communication.
However, in some contacts, it is not appropriate to express certain relationships and feelings by giving gifts to each other. For example, between cadres and the masses and between students and teachers. It is easy to distort the "normal" relationship between cadres and teachers when the masses give gifts to cadres and students give gifts to teachers.
At present, it is quite common for students to give gifts to teachers in schools. A few years ago, during the Chinese New Year, students usually gave their teachers a calendar, which was nothing and didn't cost much. Some also borrowed flowers to offer Buddha.
Recently, in some areas or schools, students and parents give gifts to teachers, keeping up with each other and upgrading day by day. It should be admitted that most parents let their children give gifts to teachers to express their gratitude for the hard work of educating their children, and there is no other unreasonable intention; However, some parents have some improper ideas, such as hoping that teachers can be "eccentric" or take care of their children more often.
I don't know if parents have ever thought about it: what kind of thoughts will children have when they learn that parents have given gifts to their teachers? Is it more encouraging for children to learn, or will it make children have some dependence and relax?
If a teacher readily accepts the gifts from parents, has the teacher ever thought that when we accept the gifts from students and parents, it is easy to feel "owed"? Do you dare to be as strict with and manage students as you used to be? Students' mistakes violate school discipline, dare to criticize them? As the saying goes, "Take someone's hand short and eat someone's mouth soft."
In addition, what if students "turn over" once they are strictly managed? What would other students think if they knew that this parent gave the teacher an expensive gift? What do other teachers think of you when they know that a teacher has received an expensive gift from his parents? Some parents don't give gifts, some gifts are expensive, and some gifts are not very valuable. Can teachers' work be open, just and fair? Teachers should especially think of their own identity: we are public officials, like national cadres, exercising the right to education on behalf of the country and doing our duty to educate students. After receiving gifts from students and parents, the image of teachers in the public will change, and the personality of teachers will be greatly discounted by parents and students.
Of course, most teachers are faced with the phenomenon of students and parents giving gifts, which is a dilemma: it is not appropriate to accept it; If you don't accept it, you will worry your parents. Do you think the gift is too light?
I think this problem is not difficult to solve. The best way is for the school leaders to make a public statement at the parent-teacher conference, refusing to express their gratitude to the teachers with gifts, and for the school leaders to express "thanks" on behalf of the teachers. In this way, it can not only help teachers get rid of the dilemma of "accepting" and "not accepting", but also help parents get rid of the embarrassment of "sending" or "not sending"; It not only maintains the innocence of teachers and prestige among parents of students, but also makes parents who can't afford gifts completely "relieved". (The author is a researcher at the Institute of Educational Sciences, Beijing Normal University)
The secretary said: the ceremony should be divided into "light" and "heavy"
Lai Mei, Qinzhou Education Bureau, Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region
As the source of social morality, the school should be a pure land, but what is worrying is that a gift-giving wind has also blown into the campus. Especially on holidays and before the Chinese New Year, in addition to ordinary gifts such as greeting cards, flowers and small souvenirs, students also give precious gifts such as cosmetics and necklaces, and the trend of comparison is becoming more and more serious. Some students give gifts not of their own will, but of their parents. The origin of students' gift-giving style is very complicated: the tradition of respecting teachers and attaching importance to teaching, the pleasing psychology of parents, the erosion of bad social atmosphere and so on.
Should students give gifts to their teachers? The author thinks that it is unrealistic to simply ban it completely. The problem is the seriousness of this "gift". If the gift price is high, it has become a burden for students (parents), and this gift will have bad consequences; If the gift is "light", such as a greeting card made by the students themselves, or if the teacher is ill, the students collectively send a bunch of flowers to express their condolences. This kind of gift will not become a burden for the students, but can well express their sincere feelings for the teacher. It should be said that this ceremony is noble and positive, and there is no need to ban it.
However, some students give gifts for personal purposes, hoping to get special care from teachers after giving gifts, such as being rated as "three good" students or being class cadres. This kind of gift has deteriorated, which will have a negative impact on the students themselves and the school's style of study and teaching. This phenomenon should be resolutely stopped. There are also some students who give gifts of a commercial nature, such as using money to buy diplomas and grades, which are corrupt acts and should be punished according to law.
Teachers are the leaders of education and the recipients of students' gifts. Teachers have an unshirkable educational responsibility to make students' "gifts" appropriate and positive. Therefore, teachers should play a leading role and correctly guide students' gift-giving behavior. First of all, as a people's teacher, you must never suggest or advocate students to give gifts, and you can't accept gifts of certain value. Because teachers play an important role in children's growth career, teachers' words and deeds are setting an example for growing children. To cultivate a new generation of high-quality successors and make our future social atmosphere cleaner, we must first start from teachers themselves and school education. A truly noble teacher needs heartfelt respect and love from students and the public, rather than emphasizing any material expression; Secondly, we should strengthen the correct guidance and education of negative gift-giving behavior. Because students are in the stage of receiving education, it is difficult for some students to have a clear understanding of the bad atmosphere in society. In addition, in order to please teachers, some parents impose their wishes on their children regardless of their children's feelings and spend a lot of money on gifts. As a teacher, we should strengthen education and guidance to make students understand that a student with excellent academic performance is not a gift, but earned by himself.
Teachers should also pay attention to strengthen contact and communication with parents of students in order to achieve the purpose of * * * education; Finally, teachers must not be partial to students because they receive gifts, thus affecting the fairness of education.
The headmaster said: Don't compare yourself when expressing your mind.
Shao Lanfang, the second primary school affiliated to Changzhou Normal University, Jiangsu Province
As thinkers, researchers, practitioners and creators of education, teachers are paid more and more attention, respect and praise by the society. Parents are very satisfied and hope that their children can get more at school. As a result, it is not uncommon for parents to give gifts directly to teachers through their children or themselves, and it has even become a practice in some areas or schools. As the principal-the administrator of the school, how to treat this phenomenon has an important guiding role. Here I want to talk about my own views: the hard work of teachers should be recognized and respected by the whole society and parents. China is a country of etiquette and has a tradition of respecting teachers and attaching importance to education. In this sense, it is human nature that students and parents are willing to show a little affection. Needless to say, "Li". But this person's nature is a matter of degree.
In the final analysis, the relationship between teachers and students should be involved first. Teaching and educating people is a teacher's bounden duty, and it is a teacher's duty to be responsible for every child and provide quality education for every child. There is an old saying in China that a friend of a gentleman is as light as water, and the relationship between teachers and parents should be a friend of a gentleman. Since we are friends of gentlemen, we should value each other spiritually. Material communication should be as light as water. Visit a cup of hot tea at home and say thank you; A phone call from the festival, a greeting; Teachers' Day greeting cards and flowers are all ways to express one's mind.
Teachers in our school used to post greeting cards from past and present classmates on the wall of the office on Teachers' Day. Looking at the dazzling array of cards, teachers are filled with pride and warmth, especially those unique cards made by parents and children, which teachers can't put down and cherish carefully. When a teacher is full of money, these are precious spiritual wealth. This kind of gift expresses sincere wishes, leaving behind warmth and emotion; It will inspire teachers to love education and students more.
Therefore, the author believes that the way students express their thoughts to teachers should not be materialized, let alone measured by the amount of money, or even form a comparison, which does more harm than good.
As teachers, we should resolutely avoid vulgarizing the relationship with parents and raise it to the height of teachers' morality, ethics and personality. Otherwise, the prevalence of this ethos will not only pollute the social ethos, but also defile the sacred profession of teachers, whose first duty is to educate people. "Because of the relationship with parents, it affects the relationship with students, hinders the fairness and justice of teaching and educating people, and delays the healthy growth of the next generation." This result is probably not what parents want to see.
The teacher said: gifts are the embodiment of teachers' values.
Yang Tao, No.4 Middle School in Fangshan District, Beijing
There are many reasons for giving gifts. The author believes that students give gifts to teachers mainly because of the teacher's personality charm.
My wife is a teacher. On weekdays, everything she thinks and does is almost for the students in the class. How are her students before breakfast, during dinner and before bed? The telephone at home has also become a "hotline" for her to communicate with her parents.
At the end of the year, she also received more than 20 gifts of different sizes from students. At this time, the life of a teacher in front of me makes me feel that students giving gifts is a kind of sympathy and blessing to the teacher, an recognition of the teacher as a model, and even an "alternative" interpretation of the teacher's personality charm.
Imagine that today's students are far from being "obedient" and "worshipful" like their ancestors and parents. They dare to doubt and question, and also dare to express their love and hate in their own way. Therefore, the premise for students to give gifts to teachers is that teachers and students enjoy the happiness of life, communicate with each other, collide and bridge with each other's hearts, and speak out with each other's thoughts. Only in this way can a teacher be a good teacher who is both a teacher and a friend, democratic and equal in the eyes of students. So as to win the love and trust of students. It seems that students will judge our teacher's casual and involuntary words and deeds in their daily communication with students. If the teacher's personality charm is lost, it will eventually lead to the teacher disappearing from the students' sight.
Looking back, when I was in middle school, I also gave my full peanuts to a female teacher. Because the head teacher, as a mother, is open-minded, cheerful, intelligent and kind, I am immersed in the deep love of teachers and in the educational realm of "teaching without distinction", so I use peanuts to express my respect, admiration and love.
Although the author is also a teacher in a broad sense, he is actually a "middle-level cadre". The so-called education manager has far more contact with teachers than with students, and his so-called personality charm has no chance to be displayed in front of students. This doomed that at the end of last year, the author failed to receive any gifts from students, even a small greeting card. Doesn't this also prove from another side that students want to express their respect, concern and even affection for teachers when giving gifts to them?
I hope this kind of student, like a clear spring, will give the teacher a gift without any copper smell and utility, and don't delay it arbitrarily to maintain the beautiful realm of teacher's love!
Parents said: there must be rules for campus gifts.
Wang huanxian
In recent years, more and more campus gift-giving problems can hardly be regarded as the true expression of students' sincere feelings for teachers. In fact, once the gift-giving wind is brought up by individuals, the normal and noble feelings between teachers and students are mixed with sand. Nowadays, there are more and more rich people. Some students and parents often give teachers gifts worth hundreds or even thousands of dollars, or invite teachers to eat, or subsidize travel. In this case, teachers will inevitably pay more attention to the relevant students. In fact, such "care" has become a kind of "reward" for teachers to parents and students. This return directly challenges the principle of fairness in education, which is no longer our traditional virtue. Of course, other students and parents will not willingly bear such unfairness, so in the absence of social norms, they have to join the ranks of giving gifts to teachers in order to get the same "care" from teachers. Faced with these gifts with expectations, teachers are very painful, but it is more difficult. Because gifts, big or small, are a kind of sustenance. Which teacher can refuse the sustenance of parents and children? As a result, the problem of campus gift-giving has entered such a strange circle.
It must be admitted that although the pace of our legislation has been accelerated in recent years and the socialist legal system including education has basically taken shape, there are still some blind spots. For example, in the relationship between school and society, in the relationship between teachers and students, the problem of campus gift-giving exposes a big blind spot of laws and regulations. Similar problems will not happen in countries with relatively complete legal systems, because they have formulated corresponding laws and regulations. I still remember attending a party in England to commemorate the birthday of an 80-year-old professor in the department. The atmosphere of the party was quite warm, but the most important gift given to the old professor by the whole department was a birthday card signed by all the teachers in the whole department. It can't be said that their friendship is not deep, but their affection is condensed on this card. An English friend also told me that no matter whether studying or looking for a job, the relevant personnel, including teachers, will never accept the gifts from the parties, the parties will not send them, and the relevant personnel will not pick them up. In this process, any words and deeds that may harm the human rights and interests of the parties may be prosecuted.
In today's China, the establishment of market economy, the increasing demand for education, and the emergence of many new problems all require a new theoretical realm and new solutions. Since there is a teacher-student relationship, it is required to have corresponding teacher-student relationship norms. Since students, teachers, parents, schools, governments and society are all related, they all need corresponding laws and regulations. Of course, some norms should take morality as the core, but morality alone is not enough. Therefore, we have reason to expect the corresponding laws and regulations to be promulgated as soon as possible. At that time, we will study and work in an educational environment with ruthless feelings, and teachers and students will treat each other honestly and live in peace.
What gift should I give for the holidays?
Zhang Xiangping of Beijing Agricultural College
"Teacher, so preach and teach." Therefore, the best gift for students to give their teachers is: students walk well, finish their studies and ask questions-students, so walk well and ask questions.
If a primary school student says to the teacher on Teacher's Day: I helped my mother clean an extra room according to your instructions today; In other words, I do one more question today, which is the best holiday gift for teachers.
For middle school students, if they can understand their parents' hard work and care, or overcome a quarrel with their classmates, or master more knowledge, or ask some questions worthy of teachers' thinking, it is the best holiday gift for teachers.
The best holiday gift for college students to give their teachers can take many forms, but there should be only three: attending classes, suspending classes or asking questions.
It is also a very good gift if graduates greet their teachers on Teacher's Day or buy a small gift for their teachers with their own salary.
Students at school have no financial resources. Even if you get a scholarship, you should honor your parents. There should be no material relationship between teachers and students except in emergency situations. Material and economic relations can only occur between parents or guardians and schools. There is only a cultural and spiritual relationship between teachers and students: Tao, career and confusion.
Whether a normal teacher-student relationship can be established depends on the teacher. Teachers are strong, students are weak, the strong dominate and the weak obey. The so-called equality between teachers and students is just a hypocritical statement, even in universities in Europe and America, it has already begun to reflect, not to mention primary and secondary schools. After students leave school, the pattern of strength and weakness changes, so if graduates give gifts to teachers, it does not mean that the relationship between teachers and students is abnormal. On the contrary, it means that there is a good relationship between teachers and students at school.
Even if teachers are very dedicated, sensitive and confused, it is not easy to establish a good teacher-student relationship if the social atmosphere is low. However, as a strong teacher, there is still some room for manoeuvre in his own class, especially in primary schools, followed by middle schools and finally universities.