Love and protection, how to protect the physical and mental health of girls who grew up in an imperfect family environment

Recently, a video of a 2 1 year-old woman giving birth to a baby boy in her toilet in Changsha rushed to the hot search.

A young and frail woman, a baby just born on the toilet floor, wrapped in a towel, and the umbilical cord has not been cut. This is what the emergency personnel saw when they arrived at the woman's house.

Fortunately, the mother is not seriously ill for the time being, but the child has been infected and has been sent to the intensive care unit for treatment.

The treatment process seen from the video really makes people sweat! While people pay attention to maternity and babies, they can't help but have many questions: Why does a young girl stay at home and give birth alone? Where's father? Where is her family?

The age of 2 1 year-old is the season of spring. Maybe many girls are still studying on campus and looking forward to a beautiful love and future, but this girl became a mother early. Without any preparation for delivery, it is distressing and surprising to welcome the arrival of a new life alone and helplessly.

We are distressed not only by the newborn baby, but also by this young expectant mother.

We are surprised not only by her embarrassing situation of welcoming a new life alone, but also by the family behind this young woman.

In recent years, news similar to "toilet delivery" has appeared in large numbers, and related news has emerged in search engines. Most young girls give birth to babies in the toilet alone, and then they don't know what to do with the newborn baby, so they abandon the baby and walk away; Others failed to receive timely treatment, leading to the premature death of a little life and even the loss of a young life of the mother; What's more, strangle the baby and throw it into the trash can. ...

It is very helpless and horrible for a girl to have a baby. In this process, they may lose their minds and even abandon their children in extreme fear, which is not unrelated to their age and mental development. This news bought with life makes people feel very sad! Those girls who have experienced such pain at their age in China will leave irreparable pain in their hearts. Some of these young girls are not even 18 years old!

The phenomenon of "toilet delivery" has become a "hidden social pain" and a social problem that we must face. Perhaps, we can't put all the responsibility on those girls who are not familiar with the world and accuse them of being naive and ignoring life, because there must be a lack of family education behind those bloody incidents.

Li Meijin, a professor of psychology, once pointed out: "Social problems are people's problems. The key to human problems lies in the early years, and the focus in the early years is on the family. " Family is the first class for children. Only a sound family education can establish a correct outlook on life and values for children.

However, "a sound family is not equal to a sound family education."

Such as violence, cold violence, language violence, etc. It exists in the internal relationship of the family, even if the family is complete, it is regarded as an imperfect family environment. Children who grow up in "incomplete" or "imperfect" families will be hurt both physically and mentally.

However, even if you have a sound family and a rich life, you may not have a sound family education. Many children in healthy families also have imperfect personality and humanity, which is the lack of family education.

So, how to protect the physical and mental health of girls who grew up in an imperfect family environment?

As the protagonist of family education, parents should change the original educational methods, give correct guidance and let girls grow up in care.

As the saying goes, raising a son is afraid of learning bad, and raising a daughter is afraid of being hurt. Many parents hold their daughters in their hands to protect them, fearing that they will be in danger if they let go. They feel that as long as they are well protected and strictly disciplined, they will not deviate. But children will grow up one day, and the heart wrapped in bound love must yearn for freedom. "Serious" consequences can only aggravate children's rebellious consciousness. They refuse to be what their parents want, and they don't want to be out of their parents' control all the time. Children bound by their parents are timid, unconfident and naive. When a seemingly "beautiful" love appears, they seem to find the feeling of being recognized and rush to the arms of being "loved" regardless of the consequences.

The word "love brain" has become a hot word on the Internet in recent years. This is a love-oriented thinking. Once you meet someone you like, you will devote all your time and energy to love, be sensitive and feel inferior. This state will inevitably lead to many love crises in the future. When it comes to love brain, many people may think of actor Zheng Shuang. Every relationship is very low-key, trying to change themselves to cater to each other, but every relationship ends in failure.

Most of the reasons why girls fall in love with their brains are because they are not dependent on their families. If the family relationship is unstable, or the father's love is lacking for a long time, once the girls in this family fall into a relationship, it is easy to love their brains. This is an "anxious attachment" because she needs love to fill her childhood insecurity.

Therefore, it is necessary to provide children with a stable emotional connection, so that they can have a "safe attachment" and be rational when they face love and marriage in the future. In the family relationship, the father brings a greater sense of security to his daughter, which affects her future concept of mate selection. Girls can gain self-confidence and self-identity from their fathers, and then bravely face all the difficulties in the future.

Therefore, parents should give the girl love to breathe freely, give her a stable and reliable family atmosphere, and let her face life more confidently and love more rationally.

It is said in "Home Hurts People" that a child needs to see all of himself from the eyes of adults who take care of him in order to have self-awareness and establish a complete inner personality.

A girl who comes out of an imperfect family environment is lacking in her heart. They are more eager to be loved and get their own complete family, so they are more likely to go to extremes in their feelings.

When "love" appeared, they seemed to grasp a life-saving straw, desperately trying to write this love in the palm of their hands, so as to make up for the missing part of her feelings with love.

The bud of youth, stealing forbidden fruit early, dare not tell parents, can only face it alone. From the psychological age, they are still children themselves, and they are not ready enough to take on the responsibilities and burdens of being parents.

Therefore, when the baby is in labor, the boy in love gets cold feet and the girl can only bear heavy pressure alone. For parents, welcoming a new life is the most important and unforgettable moment in life and a milestone in the transformation of life roles. All parturients should receive careful care. However, the girl who gives birth in the toilet will be the biggest pain in her life at this moment.

For a time, "Gansu girl's tragic death" was concerned by many people. /kloc-a 0/9-year-old female college student was found dead in a rented house with a pair of newborn twin boys beside her. According to forensic identification, the young woman died of massive bleeding during childbirth, and the two babies died because it was the middle of winter, the temperature was as low as MINUS 10 degrees, and the room had a concrete floor and no heating equipment, so the two babies were left unattended at birth, resulting in death.

What a great human tragedy it is! And another character of this incident, the girl's cohabiting boyfriend, actually fled the scene after seeing this tragic scene! When two young people with immature minds are desperate; When the beauty of flowers and the moon becomes a bloody reality, one dies miserably and the other runs away.

Zhang Xiaoxian said: Love is not the whole of life. It may make us shed the most tears and spend a lot of youth, but it is not the most important part of life after all. I think many girls, if they spend the time in love, her efforts to do other things, her work and her own life, I think her achievements may be even greater.

Yes, girls must first work hard for their own lives and meet their best selves. If you want to get more wonderful love in life, you must first learn to cherish and love yourself, because only self-love is worth being loved.

As the parents of girls, we should teach them to protect themselves, not to be lost by the beauty in front of them, and cultivate their own judgment and independent thinking ability. And let them know that her parents' love will always accompany her and make her grow into a confident, strong and optimistic outstanding woman.

If you are the parents of children, please listen to their demands patiently and understand their hearts. In this era of information explosion, children receive more information and their thoughts are more precocious. Only by maintaining good communication and interaction between parents and children can family education be more meaningful.

The so-called good parent-child communication should be based on mutual communication, so that children can clearly express their inner feelings, instead of forcing their parents' ideas on their children and forcing them to accept them in an imperative tone.

Eiko in the TV series "Little Joy" is clever and sensible, considerate of her mother's hard work, and ranks among the best in every exam; As an intellectual woman, mother Song Qian worked hard for her daughter's diet and daily life, and put all her thoughts on her daughter. To outsiders, both mother and daughter are excellent enough. But it is such an enviable mother and daughter that Eiko wants to jump into the sea.

At that moment, the contradiction of a family broke out completely. Eiko complained that her mother decided her life by her own thoughts. Song Qian's sentence: "Mom should be nice to you" tore open the excuses of countless parents.

In the TV series, Eiko is facing a divorced family environment, and the deterioration of her parents' relationship has caused great harm to her. Children are the biggest victims of an imperfect family environment.

But Song Qian didn't realize it. She manages everything of Eiko and makes decisions for Eiko according to her own wishes. Song Qian once kindly asked Eiko what she thought, but as soon as Eiko said what she thought, she would sharply refute it. When communication becomes a dummy in the family, then the dissatisfaction deposited in the children's hearts will one day erupt.

Not everyone is born as a parent. On the road of being a parent, many people have taken detours. Every family member grows up at the same time, but the awakening time is different. Only through good communication can we get to know each other, understand each other and get out of that shadow.

I believe every parent loves their children. With the love and protection of parents, I hope every girl can find her own happiness. I hope that every girl who comes out of the shadow of the imperfect family environment can have the confidence to re-establish her correct cognition and right and wrong, so as not to let the pain repeat itself and let every girl's face flow with a sunny smile.