Joke is a Chinese word, and the pinyin is xiào hua, which means something that makes people laugh. Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in story, often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. The following are the humorous jokes of fat people that I helped you organize, for reference only. Let's have a look.
Fat people's humorous jokes 1 1, sometimes they have to be thin in life and always fat in life.
2. There is no love and hate for no reason in the world, but TM is fat for no reason!
A word "fat" can represent many things, such as big face, thick legs, fat waist and thick back, so please cherish those who say you are fat, they just don't want to do you repeated harm.
4. After dinner.
Wife: Honey, have I gained weight again?
Because the wife is fat, the injured husband said carefully: you. You are full.
5.a: I heard that you found a fat man? Why? Because you are fat, too?
B: Because I don't want my future children to be fat. I want a thin child.
A: What does it matter?
B: since negative is positive, it is fat and thin!
6. M: Can't you lose weight? I can hardly hold you so fat.
W: Why can't you lift weights if you want me to lose weight?
7. I said to my mother, "I'm going on a diet to lose weight."
Mom said nervously, "No, dieting will hurt your health."
My heart suddenly warmed up and said, "I'll pay attention."
Mom still shook her head: "No, you are getting fatter and fatter now. Others think you eat too much. If you are still fat after dieting, others will say it is genetic! " "
8. Going to a small restaurant with my wife, the boss's wife is pregnant!
The wife said that she was pregnant with a boy, and after half a year, she saw that the boss's stomach was small!
The wife asked: Is it a boy or a girl?
The proprietress replied indifferently, "I lost weight."
9. I have a male classmate who is fat and accidentally broke his arm while playing during recess.
The head teacher arrived, looked at his hand and said, "Is it that serious? It's all swollen! "
Then he looked at the other hand and said, "Oh, it's not swollen!" " "
10, "Mom, I am more and more like you!"
"Where is it like?"
"Your chest is moving when you walk, and my chest is moving when I walk!"
"Son, you should lose weight!
1 1, because there is a mouth that can't stop, there must be legs that can't move. -To that fat guy
12, is also going downhill in life, and heavy people can't stop if they want to stop.
13, people who like to say "this is very thin" are generally not really fat, but really fat, and the fat jar has long been fat.
14, the sound of thin people falling: pia! The voice of the fat man falling: duang!
15, people who always say that their tongues are vicious are actually the softest, overbearing people are actually the gentlest, people who look like playboys are actually the most devoted, and people who are not good-looking are actually the most responsible, but why doesn't anyone say that fat people are actually the thinnest!
16, actually, I'm not fat, just swollen because of food allergies!
17, the way out for a bitch is to pretend to be gay. The way out for diaosi is to be cool. The way out is to pretend to be innocent. Fat people can't, because they can't hold on.
18, the fat girl can only use "I am beautiful when I am thin!" As psychological comfort.
19, perennial lack of sleep, money, love and brains. The only thing I don't lack is meat.
20. Several men who have married fat wives talk about their wives together.
Answer: "My wife is not allowed to call her fat and plump!"
B: "My wife is not allowed to be fat, but calm down!"
C: "My wife is not allowed to be fat, but generous!"
D: "My wife is not allowed to be fat, but deep! ! "
The other three asked, "Ah? Why? What is the relationship between being fat and being deep? "
D: "the body. Sink! "
Everyone: "Oh!"
2 1. When my friend got married, the host invited me to the stage and said, "Today is your good brother wedding date. Why not come up and say something? " I am a little excited: "Then order sweet and sour carp and braised pork ribs."
2. Once I booked a hotel for my boss, I wanted to ask people if they had free Internet access. I couldn't figure out how to say it, so I asked them, "Do you have any special services here?" The other party: "What? Special service We are a regular hotel! " -__-! ! ! !
3. Old four in the dormitory got out of bed and looked for slippers for a long time. No, I asked everyone: Where are my slippers?
4. When shopping, my friend suddenly exclaimed, "Wow! Virgin bookstore! "I was shocked. I looked up and saw a plaque with four big characters-foreign language bookstore-_ _!
5. I once went to buy mutton kebabs and held out four fingers to say "three mutton kebabs" to my boss. How much did the boss take? I held out three more fingers and said "four" ...
6. Our general manager's surname is Zhou. I was driving as soon as he called. When I get nervous, I say, "Premier Zhou ..."
7. My name is Zhu, and I manage the computer room of the unit. Someone once called my mobile phone: "Sir Chicken, are you in the pigsty?" I was yelling at that guy.
8. Waiting in line in the canteen, I heard a boy next to me say, "Master, a bowl of bullet cauliflower soup!" "(Porphyra and egg soup) Haha, I laughed and sprayed soup.
9. The teacher's four classic quotations: A: This is another subtitle. The PE teacher has something to do. I will come to this class. C: Are you talking or am I talking? Say it and you can come up and say it! D: You're the worst class I've ever had!
10. My parents quarreled, and my father said angrily, "I'll go out!"
I'm so cold.
A polar bear is idle and bored, so he pulls out his own hair, one, two, three ... When they are all pulled out, the polar bear suddenly says, "I'm so cold!" " "
Itchy
When an old man saw the train for the first time, he couldn't help touching the carriage of the train. At this moment, the train just whistled and made a loud noise. The old man exclaimed in surprise, "Oh, this guy is ticklish, too!"
The problem of elephants drinking water
I went to the cinema to watch Ice Age 4 this evening. A chicken asked the mammoth, "When you drink water through your nose, does the water taste like booger?" This question is so profound that I didn't think of it.
a family of three
A family of three went to a restaurant for dinner. After eating, my father paid the bill, and my mother said to the waiter, "Can I take the leftovers home to feed the dog?" "Sure, please." The son next to him jumped up with joy, clapped his hands and shouted, "Our family is finally going to buy a dog!" "
Sinful June
June is really evil. The first week of college entrance examination, the second week of senior high school entrance examination, the third week of final examination and the fourth week of examination. Now I finally know that Children's Day is in June 1, that's just to comfort me.
skill
Drinking yogurt often breaks the straw and can't insert it? Here's a trick: calmly take out the straw, and it's best to play with it in your hand for a while. Don't look at yogurt with your eyes, pretend as if nothing has happened, and then poke it while it is not paying attention!
This is really ...
A: What constellation do you think has the most heterosexual people? B: Well ... it depends on the appearance ... A: ......
Hair split millimeter
Teacher: "I have a heart attack and apply not to participate in military training." Counselor: "Do you have a certificate from the school hospital?" Hmm: "... does this need to be proved? "Counselor:" Of course! Except for the trauma that can be judged by the naked eye, everything else must be proved. " Mm: "Well, my hair is split."
Turn the person you like into a wife in 3 seconds.
Turn the person you like into a wife in 3 seconds: Step 1: Find out her mobile phone number. Step 2: Save the number in your mobile phone. Step 3: Change the storage name to wife. When you make a phone call, it will show that you are calling your wife. When you receive a text message, you will receive a message from your wife. Very practical, let's try it!
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