Everyone broke up once, maybe not because they didn't love each other, but because they loved each other too much.
Remember the last conversation before we broke up?
You like throwing things so much, so throw them all away. What do you want? Break up!
One day you happened to go shopping and saw him holding hands and kissing another girl.
The last sentence before leaving, "I wish you happiness."
Or holding his hand in the heavy rain that night and begging him not to go.
He slapped her. Are you awake? thank you
-02-
Time has passed so long, is there a moment, or a word, that makes you go back to the past and inadvertently reminds you of the person you love most?
Have you ever had such memories, riding a bike together, enjoying the cool under the tree together, crying and laughing together, walking through the train tracks together, laughing at her in the kitchen, and forgetting the most unforgettable hug and the deepest kiss?
For men, women's words: maybe I am willing to suffer with you? Straight into the deepest part of my heart, my eyes are crying.
For men, meeting the right person at the wrong time is an unforgettable lover, but they can only say: I don't want to.
Everyone has met a lover who wants to spend his life together, but he loves deeply and has a cold feeling.
-03-
The most fickle breakup is just because you don't love, but the most affectionate breakup is to let go of your deep love. Do you regret that you didn't even have the last conversation when you broke up, so you disappeared into another world?
Or break up and never have time to say goodbye, forget each other in the rivers and lakes, but keep it in mind.
Not all breakups are because they don't love each other, but some are just because they are helpless and full of regrets. I believe that even after so long time, there will always be someone in your deepest heart, which is not easy to mention. It's heartbreaking to mention it.
Whether you love deeply or not, or you are too strong, I hope you will always be my passerby.
Why did you break up? What was the last conversation you had before you broke up?
I have been with my first love for seven years. He served in Xinjiang for three years. I waited for him for a whole university. All the letters are well preserved. The day he came back, I put on lipstick and high heels for the first time.
In the year of graduation, he started a business and I went to work. I thought we could get married when he was rich. A few years later, he lost his business and all his money was involved. At that time, I decided to accompany him.
But it wasn't long before he cheated. The other party is a rich second generation in our local area and used to be a soldier.
And then we broke up. When I left, he said that the years when I loved me were the best. I feel so disgusting.
Now I am married, have children and live a happy life.
He lost money in business again and is divorcing his wife.
@ Break cucumber
I fell in love for the first time when I was twenty-six. It may be the first time after being introduced by others. I really don't know how to fall in love. Even the dating process has been censored several times.
He is the son of my father's friend, a very outgoing boy. My mother said that he and my introversion just complement each other. Later, I discovered that introversion and extroversion are two worlds. Where are they complementary?
He has a bunch of friends and I have a bunch of books.
He often says that he will show me to his friends to see whose girlfriend is the most beautiful. I also promised to accompany him several times, but all his friends smoke and often make me cough. He laughed at my affectation and got me used to this atmosphere. After all, they are all friends.
I thought we should break up at that time.
As a result, within six months, I was pinched by his friend once. In his opinion, I lost my temper on purpose.
He had a fierce quarrel that day, and I said goodbye calmly. He cried to stay, so I left.
Yes, because he has a group of friends who smoke, he always makes me accept it instead of defending me.
@YOYO
When we broke up, we were together for a thousand days and nights. We just live together. I need warmth without him. His family is too big and needs a little popularity.
At the age of 28, I bought a house in Beijing's Fourth Ring Road, covering more than 200 square meters. He is regarded as a successful man. He is my boss.
After living together, I learned to cook all kinds of home-cooked dishes that he loved.
I like barefoot. He kindly carpeted the house. I like dogs. He bought a Satsuma, even though he hates dogs.
I'm going to tell him that when I want to have a baby. He wrote me a letter of resignation. I thought he wanted me to be a stay-at-home wife. After all, he has the ability.
But his eyes are cold. Tell me, let's break up, and finally there will be a break-up fee of100000.
After crying, I finally have a reason: you grow too slowly to keep up with my footsteps, and you will only drag me down.
After that, I finally decided to study for an MBA.
In fact, he is right. I never had any advantage in front of him. In front of girls who like him, I dare not say that I am his girlfriend. I still remember the feeling of the ugly duckling facing the swan.
It turns out that love also has rules, and this rule is strong alliance.
The prince's love for Cinderella is really just a fairy tale.
There will always be someone who will accompany you for a while.
You used to breathe with this person, and you fantasized about the future progress and retreat; You made various agreements, including going to Chaka Salt Lake to see the Milky Way and going to Northern Europe for the winter.
But for various reasons, you can't come together after all, but you still have to separate. There is only a period of time that can't be regretted and started again, whether it is good or bad. This is a period in your life, and this person has accompanied you through this stop.
Recently, everyone is talking about Jiangge, and everyone is denouncing Liu Xin for evading responsibility and hurting Jiangge's mother. Perhaps we need to reflect on a question from another angle: Why did Chen Shifeng and Liu Xin meet after breaking up? Why does a relationship end in blood?
Why did you once love each other, but you couldn't wave goodbye gracefully? In life, it is not uncommon for tragedies that cannot be caused by love, because there are always people who will be destroyed if they can't get it.
20 16 a man in Sichuan was rejected by his ex-girlfriend because he wanted to get back together, and he retaliated with sulfuric acid, causing his ex-girlfriend to be seriously disfigured; 2065438+September 2006, a college student in Chongqing contacted a Congolese student. After breaking up, the man refused to get back together and brutally killed his ex-girlfriend On August 20 17, a rich second generation in Hangzhou pushed a girl off the floor of 19 because they couldn't pursue their favorite object for many years.
Seeing these news, someone left a message: People nowadays are not only afraid of marriage, but also "afraid of love". After all, they want to live a better life, provided that we have a life.
Although not everyone will meet people with serious psychological problems in love, everyone needs to learn how to say "no" properly when refusing or ending a relationship.
Which ways of breaking up hurt the most?
Movies before sunrise.
The beginning of love is always intoxicating and sweet, but the end of a relationship is often not so beautiful.
When you make up your mind and have to say "no", how can you express your position without stimulating the other party? Especially when psychological problems are becoming more and more common, how to do our best to reduce the harm in breaking up?
I have studied quite a number of breakup cases and found that the most common and hurtful breakup expressions are as follows:
"I have never loved you."
The pain caused by leaving is unacceptable and has to be accepted. The one who broke up said this sentence, which undoubtedly erased the past of both sides.
Even if one party does not recognize this relationship, it should not belittle the sincerity of the other party and the years when both parties once loved each other. A mature person dares to accept the change of feelings, but will not deny the original sincerity in order to leave a relationship.
Sometimes, just fresh emotions make people forget the beauty of "at first sight".
If the party who deviates from the emotional relationship is weak in heart, it will show great arrogance and even throw out all kinds of absurd words or behaviors. In fact, he just used all kinds of high-level hurtful language to cover up his inner anxiety and pressure and rationalize his leaving behavior.
"You are nothing! Why should I be with you? "
Sometimes, when you leave someone, you will hear:
You can't do anything right! What do I want you to do? What do you think of you? Is it worth me staying?
Many people not only break up when they leave, but also criticize each other's looks, family, education, personality and even belittle each other for no reason.
These behaviors will cause a strong blow to people's self-confidence. People who are broken up often agree with the judgments of people around them. They can't find self-confidence for a long time, even have strong self-attack, and some people will suffer from depression. This may also stimulate the other person and inspire him to do irreparable things.
"Sorry, the number you dialed is power off."
"How can I be looked down upon so much, and this person is actually the one you have been concerned about!"
A female tourist said that her boyfriend simply broke up unilaterally and stopped meeting and communicating. She can't find her ex-boyfriend. The mobile phone changed its number, WeChat blacked out, and even the work went to other places.
Missing people just like to escape and dare not take the courage to solve the problem.
Only in this way, the recipient's emotions can't be output, which often makes people collapse. Perhaps, as some people say, disappearing is the cruelest form of attacking each other.
There are also, for example, breaking up is afraid that the other party will be sad and make the other party full of hope and entanglement; Or want to break up, but deal with the relationship negatively, wait for the other party to speak first, and so on. , is also a common way to break up.
How to say that breaking up is worthy of the past and the future?
There are farewell ceremonies suitable for each other.
In the movie "If You Are the One 2", the divorce ceremony held at the beginning provides a new idea for the lovers who broke up: Do we need to say goodbye to a relationship in a grand way?
When people are happy, they are usually willing to remember something through a sense of ritual, but in the face of the pain of loss (except death), we don't seem to want a sense of ritual.
What can't be ignored is that the sense of ceremony when breaking up is just to let the other party bid farewell to the past and to alleviate some pain. Of course, holding a farewell ceremony doesn't really mean having a party. Just choose the one that suits you.
Some couples will choose to bid farewell together, some will change their hair styles, travel alone, find friends to drink, and so on, as long as they can make themselves feel better. It is important that both parties need:
Clarify the fact of breakup (except false breakup). Fully express your emotions, and also give each other the opportunity to express their emotions. Wave goodbye to the past.
Affirm the feeling of the past
Lin Chi-ling and Jerry Yan recently took a detour and got back together. No matter whether they promised each other for life or not, at least they got off to a good start.
Looking back at them, during the breakup, they spoke highly of each other on any occasion. I won't say "Only I know whether the shoes fit or not" like Aaron Kwok, and I won't be embarrassed to tear up Feng and his ex-wife Ge Huijie online.
It is their affirmation of their past feelings, which shows that the other party is a person worth cherishing, thus laying the foundation for the two sides to get back together.
If there really is someone you once liked, but can't be together in the end, please be grateful when you leave, even if you have no feeling when you leave, please thank him for accompanying you for these years.
Give each other full respect.
Now in your eyes, maybe his simplicity has turned into stupidity, and his ambition has turned into selfishness. However, since he has embraced each other, there must be something beautiful in him that you are deeply obsessed with.
Sometimes, it's not that the other person has changed, but that our own requirements for the other person have changed.
Whether you still love each other or not, please give each other the greatest respect when you leave. Don't belittle each other, don't attack each other with irritating language, and leave enough self-esteem for each other.
If you encounter breakup violence,
Decisively rely on support
Many years ago, a movie "Don't Talk to Strangers" made many women afraid that they would meet such "gentle scum". The role of An Jiahe gives people a subversive understanding of domestic violence.
Don't think that the partner you are looking for is a well-educated person, so you won't do stupid things. In fact, mental health is related to living conditions and their own conditions, but it does not mean that people with better social status have no opportunities for violence.
If the other person is still paranoid, stubborn or even stalking after you have properly and thoughtfully ended this relationship, please seek the support of relatives and friends or the police decisively.
If you must meet, please go to a public place accompanied by someone, and don't act alone, because you don't know how the person you once loved will treat you now.
Although we don't have to think that every partner will go to extremes when leaving, we should have the nerve to prevent the violence of breaking up.
At the end, I suddenly felt a little sad.
How simple and pure it would be if the world fell in love and could grow old together. It's just, maybe sometimes parting is for a better life for each other.
As the song goes:
When fate comes to an end, maybe parting can save love.
Since you can't hold hands in this life, why not turn around and let go of love and freedom?
Shake hands for the last time, let's say goodbye with a smile.
Author He Ming, a psychological counselor and columnist, is an open-minded, enthusiastic and curious existence. My only task is to remind you how perfect you are. WeChat official account: He Ming Psychological Online (ID: He Ming Online)
Today's topic
Dear, have you ever done anything ceremonial to commemorate a relationship? When a relationship comes to an end, are you hesitant, reluctant or regretful?
Please leave a message below and share your story with us.
Have you ever broken up for no reason? Love is a process. It is the process that two people who love each other get to know each other gradually. If the person you love inexplicably offered to break up with you, and then you separated inexplicably, did you ever think about the reason when you were sad? Want to know why he left you for no reason?
Test start:
Topic: For you, all the year round is a season suitable for eating ice cream?
No, I'm afraid I'll get fat if I eat too much.
Yes, you can't live without ice cream all year round.
C, eat some occasionally in hot summer.
D, don't eat, prefer to drink drinks and ice water.
Choose a's children's shoes:
When I first like someone, it seems that I can find my freshness from the other person every day. Even on a dull day, they feel very sweet. Over time, they will get along in a dull state, but the person you like can't accept that dull state. It can be said that people who like it prefer to challenge the contrast. He thinks their relationship can always be fresh. If you stay the same for a long time, he will want to leave you.
Choose b's children's shoes:
In relationships, you are very controlling. After being with you, he may feel that there is no room for freedom, because his every move will be exposed under your nose. Do you check his cell phone from time to time? When he is chatting with better people, you can't stop asking questions? Maybe your starting point is just to know everything about him and care about each other, but everything you do makes him feel uncomfortable. One day, when he no longer wants to be controlled by you, he will make up his mind to leave you.
Choose c's children's shoes:
In feelings, some people will like the new and hate the old, or change their minds, and the one you like is no exception. In front of him, he will like you less when he sees one of your shortcomings. If you gradually discover many shortcomings, he will try to find a perfect person to replace you. At that time, if he meets another person with more feelings, even if the other person is equal to you, he will still choose to leave you and throw himself into the arms of another person.
Choose d's children's shoes:
Did you have nothing to do at the beginning, but somehow you came together? When two people are together, there are totally two modes between you and him, even their hobbies and living habits are quite different. Gradually, he will feel that he and you are not from the same world, and that he should probably leave you to find another person who is suitable for him, and you can also find another person who is more suitable. Although you may break up inexplicably, you will choose to break up peacefully and will not be particularly cautious at the moment of breaking up.