-Zhang Haidi
[Introduction to Zhang Haidi]
Zhang Haidi, born in Jinan in autumn of 1955. At the age of five, he suffered from myelopathy and was completely paralyzed from the chest down. From then on, Zhang Haidi began her unique life. Unable to go to school, she taught herself middle school courses at home. /kloc-When she was 0/5 years old, Heidi followed her parents and sent her to the countryside of Liaocheng (Shandong) to be a teacher for her children. She also taught herself acupuncture techniques and treated villagers for free. Later, Zhang Haidi taught himself many foreign languages and worked as a radio repairman.
Facing the cruel challenge of fate, Zhang Haidi didn't feel depressed and sink. She fought against the disease with tenacious perseverance and perseverance, withstood severe tests and was full of confidence in life. Although she didn't have a chance to enter the school, she studied hard, finished all the courses in primary and secondary schools, taught herself college English, Japanese, German and Esperanto, and studied the courses of universities and graduate students. From 65438 to 0983, Zhang Haidi began to engage in literary creation, translated hundreds of thousands of English novels, such as The Beach Clinic, and compiled books, such as Windows Open to the Sky and Questioning Life and Dreams in Wheelchairs. Among them, Dream in a Wheelchair was published in Japan and South Korea, and Pursuing Life was published less than half a year and reprinted three times, winning the national "Five One Projects" book award. Before The Pursuit of Life, this prize has never been awarded to prose works. Recently, a 300,000-word novel, Extremely Top, will be published soon. Since 1983, Zhang Haidi has created and translated more than 1 10,000 words.
In order to make greater contribution to society, she taught herself more than a dozen medical monographs, consulted experienced doctors, learned acupuncture and other medical skills, and treated the masses for free 10000 person-times.
1983 China youth daily published "be a meteor and leave the light to the world". Zhang Haidi became famous in China and won two reputations, one is "New Lei Feng in 1980s" and the other is "Contemporary Paul".
Zhang Haidi holds the belief that "to live is to be a person who is beneficial to society" and takes Paul as an example to bravely dedicate his light and heat to the people. With her words and deeds, she answered the questions of outlook on life and values that hundreds of millions of young people are very concerned about. Deng Xiaoping wrote an inscription: "Learn from Zhang Haidi and be a new capitalist with ideals, morality, culture and discipline!"
Subsequently, Zhang Haidi became a moral force.
Zhang Haidi is now a member of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference (CPPCC) and works in Shandong Writers Association, engaged in creation and translation.
[The Story of Zhang Haidi]
[Dialogue between Lu Yu and Zhang Haidi, Host of Phoenix Satellite TV-Real and Beautiful Zhang Haidi (Excerpt)]
More than 20 years later, Zhang Haidi, who will turn 47 this year, seems to have gradually lost his aura in people's minds. After experiencing cancer, the controversy of love and marriage, and the challenge of death, ... I still faced Lu Yu frankly. What would she say? ...
Zhang Haidi: When people first knew my name, I was only 26 years old. I will be 47 years old this year. More than 20 years have passed, and time flies. But at that time, sometimes it was like dreaming, and it felt like something had happened to someone else.
Lu Yu: Do you remember your most mythical time? What is your daily life like?
Zhang Haidi: Life is restless every day. The letters I received at that time were all packed in sacks and sent to my work and home one by one. At that time, there was nothing I could do. Moreover, in my family, there are also groups of people, ranging from hundreds to dozens or even a few people. We must see Heidi every day. Can I see her?
Lu Yu: But from an outsider's point of view, for example, from my point of view, one day, Zhang Haidi seemed to disappear from my sight, and then I seldom heard from her. It feels like slowly, you don't know if you will take the initiative to fade out of our sight, and you don't know if the outside world is slowly moving away from you. Is it a two-way choice or a purely personal choice?
Zhang Haidi: Probably, I think it's a two-way street, because first of all, I think it's personal. Personally, I think we should keep a clear head, especially when choosing this career. As a writer, I should work behind the scenes, not at the front desk. Because I'm not an actor, I don't intend to act, and I don't need to go on stage, because my work should be invisible to everyone. This is my own choice. When others can't see me, it may be the moment when I trudge in the long river of my career. Then in this propaganda media, their propaganda of a character should be relatively long for me. Up to now, there are often pages written about Heidi or something. But things will be better when we get to 1986.
(Explanation) 199 1 year, Zhang Haidi was diagnosed by a doctor and learned that he had melanoma on his nose. So, she experienced the sixth major operation in her life. Lu Yu: Does the operation hurt?
Zhang Haidi: Very painful. It should be said that it took time from peeling to suture, because the best doctor in Shanghai gave me the best treatment in such a small place, and more than 40 stitches were stitched in such a small place. Tiny needles, though thin, seem to me to be pulling hemp rope.
But as a woman, I feel that I have suffered the kind of pain that men can't bear. This kind of pain is not only physical, but also mental. After the operation, my hands were cold and a little shaky, but I didn't scream. My wife was waiting for me outside when I came out. When I touched his hand, it was colder than mine. Later, I told him that I had a feeling that if I was caught by the enemy during the white terror, I wouldn't say anything. I said, will you? He said I would not say anything. I said no, you will. I couldn't laugh at that time because my face was too painful, but I knew I could bear the most unbearable pain in the world.
Lu Yu: Didn't you shed a tear?
Zhang Haidi: No, I never shed tears because I was sick when I was growing up. I am very emotional, but I have never shed tears because of illness. Always because of parting, leaving relatives and friends, and then something, tears, that's all. Can everyone wait a minute? I'm looking at the toilet on my watch.
Lu Yu: I found that Heidi is a little more than ordinary people, that is, she is sensitive to time. As she is completely unconscious from the chest down, she must observe the time very strictly. Every two hours, she has to use the bathroom, and she doesn't need to be reminded or set an alarm clock every time. It seems that she already has a natural biological clock in her body, and she will be reminded then. Heidi told me that it took her 40 years to get into the habit.
(Explanation) After the operation, Zhang Haidi's physical condition was extremely poor, but she still insisted on studying in the Philosophy Department of Jilin University and pursuing postgraduate courses. Two years later, he got his degree and became the first master of philosophy in China to sit in a wheelchair.
Lu Yu: 42 years has been accompanied by illness. I don't know what kind of feeling and state it is
Zhang Haidi: Sometimes I think of myself, and occasionally I feel moved by myself when my eyes are full of tears. Why? Sometimes, I think so, alas, especially when talking to my mother. Sometimes I just say, Mom, if I had been sick, I could have persisted for ten or twenty years, and I could have persisted for thirty years. Really, if I can persist for 40 years, I think it is really, really difficult, because I have to overcome many things that others can't see at all. Then you have to overcome many puzzles and obstacles that others simply can't imagine.
Lu Yu: But why don't you give up?
Zhang Haidi: I didn't give up. I want to give up every day, but I pick it up every day. I think I carefully put the flame of life, which is about to go out. As I told them the other day, I said I want to give up every day and pick it up like a small flame. I blew this little fire and turned it into a bonfire in my heart. Blow harder and harder, let it continue to burn.
Lu Yu: For a long time, Zhang Haidi was regarded as a hero, but in our minds, heroes are always different from ordinary people. They don't eat earthly fireworks and have no worldly desires. But Zhang Haidi, like every ordinary woman, was full of fantasy and pursuit of love from an early age. Of course, she has tasted the joy of love and suffered the blow of lovelorn. But she said that even if the wings are broken, the heart will fly.
(Explanation) 1970, Zhang Haidi followed his parents to the countryside of Shenxian County, Liaocheng City, Shandong Province. There, girlhood Zhang Haidi had her first love.
Zhang Haidi: One day, I fell in love with a boy. The boy liked me very, very much, in our small county. But after all these years, I probably didn't expect this. One day, he suddenly brought a girl to my house, and I still remember that girl. It was a winter, and she was wearing a dress that was rare at that time, because she came from other places, wearing a rare wool coat and Mao Mao collar. Just like that, I felt like the dress that tonya was wearing, because it was very cold there. He came in and said, Ah, Heidi, this is my cousin. We went to the movies together that day, and they pushed me to the movies, so he told me that this was his cousin.
But at that time, I was very sensitive to seeing this girl. She is really beautiful and healthy. It was after this day that I felt that the boy I liked really alienated me. What did I feel at this time? I just think the place is really too small, and my disability is too heavy. In other words, when he makes realistic and imaginary love choices, he must be biased towards some aspects of secular society, which I can understand. I am willing to chew the pain myself. I believe I won't lose money this time next year. It really is.
Experienced great pain. Later, everything was the same for me. Sometimes my friends will push me to go to the movies and go to the open-air cinema to see movies. My friend went to the movies. I really want to see him. I really want to see him again. But not necessarily face to face. Face to face is impossible. He dare not look into my eyes, and I don't want to look into his eyes. I want to have a quiet look from a distance. Later, my friend gave me a push, that is, when I walked through an alley, he was at the other end of the alley. When I looked at it, he was walking with that girl. His cousin, my heart is really like, you know, what is acupuncture?
Lu Yu: I know that feeling.
Zhang Haidi: I really know the feeling of acupuncture. I think every woman should experience that kind of pain. Love is really, as Shakespeare said, love is to let people taste all the flavors in the world. If it is really sweet from the beginning, a woman is incomplete without this kind of pain.
Lu Yu: What happened afterwards? Have you ever tasted anything other than the pain you feel? You should have tasted all the ups and downs, including the sweetness.
Zhang Haidi: There are sweetness and other things I have experienced. For example, when a male friend came to see me, he left me a message, which made me think for several years. He said, Heidi, he said that the next time I came back, you would feel really happy. In this sentence, we were all very obscure. A few years later, he was far away and an educated young man. He's at the Yellow River Army Racecourse, where I seldom tell anyone about it. A few years later, one day he sent me a letter with a photo in it. After seeing this photo, I tore it up.
Lu Yu: Why?
Zhang Haidi: Because (in the photo) he is standing on a step with a woman, on the step of a building. He stands tall and the woman stands low. What did he write later? That is to say, Heidi, I am married. What does my lover do? He said such things very, very bluntly and sent me such photos. I think he might expect my blessing. To me, he was like a bullet. All of a sudden, let alone a bullet, he stabbed me like a sword. It was that kind of pain that even made my whole body twitch violently, which made me suddenly return to reality from that dream, and I felt that the reality was very cold, and it was so cold for a moment. I pursue again and again, and I lose again and again.
Zhang Haidi's husband is Wang Zuoliang, who teaches foreign languages at Shandong Normal University. The combination of the two is in 1982. They didn't have a wedding, and now everything is spent in peace, just like now.
Lu Yu: I remember in the early 1990s, there was an argument in the newspaper about whether Zhang Haidi should get married or not. Zhang Haidi himself laughed off these arguments. She said that as early as 1982, before she became a household name, she had been married for nearly 20 years. To outsiders, if it weren't for the wheelchair, the couple would not be much different from millions of ordinary couples in China.
Lu Yu: Before I met Zhang Haidi, I was a little worried. I'm afraid she won't talk about her emotional experience and family life, but Heidi is very honest. At the time of this interview, Heidi's husband and sister were at home, and Heidi didn't avoid us at all. From time to time, she instructed her husband to help her cushion or pour a cup of coffee. I can feel that Heidi is the center of this family, not because of her illness.
Mr. and Mrs. Zhang Haidi have no children. 10 years ago, they adopted this puppy and named it "Bench". The couple like it very much, and people think it is their child.
Lu Yu: I have heard two voices about Zhang Haidi. Some people say that it is really unfair for a smart and talented woman like her to suffer so much physically. But some people say that Zhang Haidi has everything, fame and status, and has published so many books. What else can he ask for? But Heidi told me that she was willing to give up all this and only wanted to have a healthy and normal body. I think this is difficult for ordinary people to understand.
Heidi talked about death together. I asked her what she would write if she wrote her own epitaph. Heidi said she would write like this. Here lies an unyielding Heidi, a beautiful Heidi.