Remember the poll we launched the day before yesterday? What exactly is your circle of friends like? To Bian Xiao's surprise, apart from the WeChat business, parents' keen to forward rumors turned out to be the second most common phenomenon in the circle of friends. Bian Xiao, who is doing popular science every day, has a good feeling about mulberry heart. It's hard to convince parents not to believe rumors! Today, let's analyze the psychology of parents!
Elders generally come into contact with the internet late, and they also lack the ability to distinguish and judge some contents on the internet. Whether it is true or not, they will go out and say it, so they become "unconscious communicators" of rumors. When forwarding the information, the elders didn't know it was a rumor, and they didn't call the so-called "Ministry of Public Security" and "CCTV" mentioned in the content for verification. They just take "being good to family and friends" as the starting point. So, why are these kind-hearted old people so keen on spreading online rumors?
Judging from the psychological characteristics of the elderly, the elderly who play WeChat belong to the "dissatisfied" type. Just like the "middle-aged crisis" that happens when people are over 40, with the passage of time, people become "old people" in the traditional concept after entering 60 years old. At this time, parents will have two completely different attitudes towards life. One is the sense of loss, that is, they feel that everything is "near dusk". There is also a concept of lifelong development, which holds that life after retirement can still be wonderful, and people will actively enjoy the pleasure of "seeing the sun and shining". These two views are not completely separated, but can be embodied in the same person. Most of the elderly who play WeChat are the latter type. They are not old, willing to accept new things and follow the footsteps of the times. Middle-aged and elderly people long for a sense of existence and identity. They want to be concerned about their health and are eager to protect their children, which is why they like to brush such news.
In terms of emotional needs, parents need a sense of belonging. Each of us has various needs, and these needs are hierarchical. At the bottom are physiological needs and safety needs. For healthy old people, these two points are enough. Then there is the need for love and belonging. My parents' generation has a very obvious brand of the times. They have experienced too much turmoil and lack a sense of belonging, which will make the old people feel at a loss. Nevertheless, human nature needs a circle and needs to have its own voice and position in the circle, which is the sense of belonging. Gossip attracts many people to click with its shocking title, and old people use it to prove their existence and concern.
Socially speaking, rumors can satisfy people's affinity motives. Affinity motivation means that we need to establish cooperation with others and remain friendly. The reason why people are social animals is the result of human evolution and the foundation of survival. Internet rumors tell you some "shocking" secrets. I'll share this secret with you, whether it's true or not, it's my heart, and many rumors say that "everyone who saw it has turned." If I don't change, won't I let you down? Won't you fail me if you don't watch it? I turn, you see, you like, even you comment, and the connection between you and me is reached. Although some old friends may not see each other often, the network connects everyone and keeps this connection, which gives people an excellent feeling, but the content shared is no longer important.
Conformity psychology. From the individual point of view, it is human instinct to keep consistent with the dominant tendency of society and better adapt to this society and people around us. In the eyes of parents, this information on the internet has spread a lot after all. After all, "everyone who has seen it has turned." What is this? I'm sure many old guys have seen it, too. If they talk about it, I don't know how embarrassing it is. Take the initiative to share a topic with an old friend. Moreover, young people have the same topic and will never be lamented that there is a generation gap. They are willing to join the mainstream. And online rumors gave them a starting point for conformity.
If what mom and dad shared bothers you, how can you help them stop forwarding?
The most important trick is-companionship!
The companionship of children can make up for the psychological needs of parents listed above. But friendship is skillful:
1. Accompanying is not necessarily meeting every day, but letting parents feel emotionally that you are thinking about them. Nowadays, young people are under great pressure at work, their mood may fluctuate, and time may be tight, which leads us to be unwilling or have no time to communicate with our parents. The Internet has given us a particularly good platform to change our parents' world from "gossip" to "news". When I take the bus, I tell my parents that "the road is blocked, but I can just take this time to talk to you". After eating, you can say to your parents, "I had a working lunch with my colleagues at noon, but I really miss my mother's noodles." In just one or two sentences, you can give your parents warmth all day.
2. Companionship can only tell the truth, not blame. Never treat your parents with "see you forward these things" or with more harsh language, which will make the old people who are powerless even more frustrated. The communication skill at this time is to tell the truth, "Mom, I read a message you forwarded today, in fact …" to express her concern for her parents, and she will be very happy. If we repeat the rumor to our parents, she will find it ridiculous or ridiculous, and some may explain it a little. Even in the face of "stubborn" old people, don't worry or even shout, which will only push her parents into the whirlpool of rumors.
3. Establish an "escort group". There are many "novice parents" and "mothers and babies" on the Internet, all of which exchange ideas on how to raise children, but few special teams discuss how to treat parents. With the development of society, more and more elderly people feel at a loss. Members of "Accompanying Mother group" can discuss together, or write rumors for everyone to forward, or write some warm words to their parents. It is difficult for a person to do these things every day, but it is much easier to do them in turn in the group, write by one person and send by everyone.
How to help parents who are deeply involved in the rumors of friends circle? Don't blame and complain blindly, all they want is your company!