Do you think it looks good?
A book with a great reputation, after reading it, there is a feeling of seeing each other for a long time.
As a psychologist, although the author's original intention or most of his judgments are based on psychology, and there is no lack of using God's theory to find the motivation for mental patients, macroscopically, he is still pointing out the way for our confused life. Especially for those who are single-minded, they have found the theoretical basis for unremitting efforts.
The most touching statement is that the physical growth and evolution of human beings itself is a process against entropy. Therefore, the minds of great men are bound to be able to fight against laziness and eventually go to the top of the pyramid.
Part I Self-discipline
Everyone knows the truth, which is easier said than done.
& gt& gt Self-discipline is the most important tool to solve life problems and the most important method to eliminate life pain.
Solve the problem, but bear the pain.
& gt& gt Self-discipline means taking the initiative to ask yourself to suffer and solving problems with a positive attitude. Self-discipline has four principles: delaying satisfaction, taking responsibility, being loyal to facts and keeping balance.
Recognition and pursuit of self-worth.
& gt& gt's recognition of self-worth is the basis of self-discipline, because when a person feels valuable, he will take all necessary measures to take care of himself. Self-discipline is self-protection and self-love, not self-abandonment.
Neurosis and personality disorder, after learning two terms, are both manifestations of psychological imbalance.
& gt& gt Most people who turn to psychologists have either neurosis or personality disorder. They are all caused by the problem of responsibility, but the symptoms are the opposite: neurosis patients impose their responsibilities on themselves, while personality disorder patients are unwilling to take their own responsibilities. When there is a contradiction with the outside world, neurosis patients think it is their own fault, while personality disorder patients blame others for their mistakes.
This is the source.
& gt& gt can't solve the problem, it becomes a problem.
Empathy: an outdated and wrong map
& gt& gt's obsession with the incomplete life map and its disconnection from the real world everywhere is a common problem of many people and the root of many mental diseases. Psychologists call this situation "empathy". It is no exaggeration to say that there are as many psychologists as there are. My definition is: copy the way of perception and reaction to the world generated in childhood and applied to the adult environment into the adult environment, although these ways are no longer applicable to the new environment.
Be true to the facts, although it will bring temporary pain, but it is far better than indulging in false comfort.
& gt& gt It is human nature to escape from the pain of reality. Only through self-discipline can we gradually overcome the pain of reality, modify our map in time and grow step by step. Be true to the facts, although it will bring temporary pain, but it is far better than indulging in false comfort. We must endure temporary discomfort, pursue facts rather than fantasies, and bear the pain of this process. To make our minds mature, we must try our best to be completely loyal to the facts at all costs.
Face death correctly
& gt& gt The essence of life is the process of constant change, growth and decline. If you choose life and growth, you choose the possibility of facing death.
& gt& gt Under the guidance of death, we will clearly realize that life is short and the time for love is limited, so we should cherish it and grasp it. If you dare not face death, you can't get the true meaning of life, and you can't understand what love is and what life is. Everything is constantly changing, and death is a normal phenomenon. If we refuse to accept this fact, we will never understand the great meaning of life.
& gt& gt In addition to love and self-improvement, what conditions do you need for mental maturity besides breaking through self-boundaries? All the examples I mentioned above involve this factor: self-esteem and self-love.
Love and self-discipline
In the process of self-expansion and self-improvement, this kind of "philanthropist" needs to have self-discipline beyond ordinary people so as not to go astray. Lai Xiaochuan, right?
& gt& gt As far as marriage (especially sexual relations) is concerned, love is even completely exclusive, that is, there is no room for a third party. Most people's marriage relationship only allows spouses or children as the object of love and the basis of love. If you seek the love of the opposite sex from outside the family, it may lead to tragedy. One of the most important obligations of family members is to be responsible for their partners and children. Of course, some people not only establish loving relationships within the family, but also insist that they have the extra ability to love others. Of course, this may also be true. Such people want to reach out beyond their families and dedicate their love to more people. In the process of self-expansion and self-improvement, this kind of "philanthropist" needs to have self-discipline beyond ordinary people so as not to go astray.
Love and independence
? Your children, in fact, are not your children, at least not the kind of children who inherit their own lives as you think.
& gt& gt Your child is not your child. They are children born of life's desire for themselves. They came into this world with your help, not because of you. They are by your side, but they don't belong to you. What you can give them is your love, not your thoughts, because they have their own thoughts. What you can shelter is their bodies, not their souls, because their souls belong to tomorrow, which you can never reach. You can try to be like them, but don't let them be like you, because life will not shrink back and stay in the past. You are a bow, and your children are your arrows.
& gt& gt Archers look at the target in the future. He tried his best to pull you away, so that his arrow could shoot fast and far. With a happy mood, bend down in the archer's hand, because he loves the arrow that flies all the way and the extremely stable bow.
Backyard fire theory
& gt& gt The problem with men's marriage is that they just want to climb up after marriage, but they lack the management of the base camp (marriage). They think that the camp is well-fed, orderly and ready for them to use, but they don't need to spend any energy to repair and maintain the base camp. This attitude of "extreme capitalism" is bound to make the marriage fail.
Belief and worldview
In fact, it is also caused by the limitations of thinking and cognition.
& gt& gt We all have our own understanding of life, a broad or narrow outlook on life and the world. It can be said that everyone has their own beliefs, and the knowledge and understanding of life belongs to the category of beliefs. Although we often don't realize it, it is an indisputable fact.
Constantly surpass the existing cognition and then fall into the cage of the next cognition.
& gt& gt If we want to establish a belief and worldview suitable for reality, we must keep learning and enhance our understanding of the world. We must break through the self-boundary, set foot in a wider field and revise our map.
So this is the limitation of our general view of things and problems, and it is also the main source of quarrels and contradictions.
& gt& gt After all, we are not superhuman, unable to transcend the influence of culture, parents and childhood experiences, and can only treat others according to a narrow life reference system. People's feelings and opinions come from past experience, but they seldom realize that experience is not a universal law, and they don't have a complete and in-depth understanding of their world outlook.
Science and belief
How comfortable is the comfort zone?
& gt& gt We must give up our backward and outdated selves, step on stale and outdated cognition and abandon our narrow outlook on life. It is not easy to do this, and it seems more in line with our inertia not to make any changes.
Similar to an old horse
Science itself is a kind of belief, and its important creeds include: the universe is an objective and real existence, and we can observe that human observation of the universe is of great value; The operation of the universe follows several laws and is predictable; Humans are easily misled by prejudice and superstition, and are prone to make mistakes in explaining the universe; To form a world outlook, human beings should have enough skepticism and accept the guidance of scientific methods, so as to sum up the experience of observing the universe. Besides, we can't think that we know everything unless we have experienced it ourselves. In addition, although the refinement of scientific methods comes from practical experience, we still can't trust simple experience. Only the experience gained through repeated experiments is trustworthy knowledge. What needs to be added is that only under the same circumstances can others reach a consistent conclusion through similar experience, and the experience can be proved to be reliable.
The fourth part is elegance
The author's elegance has another name: opportunity.
& gt& gt The ability to love and the willingness to grow depend not only on the nourishment of parents' love in childhood, but also on our acceptance of grace in life.
The miracle of the subconscious
All worldly desires should be properly released.
& gt& gt Taking depression as an example, Freud found that many patients have some repressed desires (mainly sexual desire) and anger in their subconscious, and negative emotions are constantly accumulating, which makes them suffer from mental illness.
The miracle of good luck
The principle of>& gt synchronization does not explain the miracle itself, but only tells us that the so-called "miracle" may be just an extremely ordinary event, but they are perfectly matched with special occasions.
The definition of elegance
& gt& gt Definition of Grace Up to now, I have described many different magical phenomena, all of which have the following similarities: First, they have the functions of nourishing life and promoting mental maturity. Second, their specific mechanism of action is still not fully understood by people (for example, in the case of physical resistance and dreaming), or completely unknown (for example, the so-called supernatural phenomenon), which cannot be explained by existing scientific theories and known laws of nature. Third, they are common phenomena in the human world, which will happen repeatedly to different people. Fourth, although they may be more or less influenced by consciousness, their root lies outside consciousness and subjective thinking.
The miracle of evolution
Psychological evolution theory
& gt& gt Our body may change with the life cycle, but it has stopped the evolutionary process and will not produce new physiological models. With the growth of age, the aging of the body is an inevitable result, but in a person's life, the mind can constantly evolve and even undergo fundamental changes.
Xuanxue
& gt& gt The mind can always grow and develop, and the ability can also be increased day by day until death. In our life, the opportunities for spiritual growth are endless, without any restrictions.
Man struggles upward only because he forces himself.
> > According to the second law of thermodynamics, energy will naturally flow from an ordered state to a chaotic state and from a differentiated state to a homogeneous state. In other words, the order of the universe is constantly disintegrating. Usually, we describe this process as "water flows downwards".
entropy
After billions of years, the whole universe will be completely decomposed, and its order will drop to the lowest point, becoming a dead state without any shape and structure and no longer differentiation. This state without order and more differentiation is called "entropy".
> > Energy naturally flows from high to low, which makes the entropy increase continuously. This natural trend can be called the power of entropy. The evolutionary process and the power of entropy are in conflict, developing from low to high. In the process of evolution, life has become more and more complex and orderly.
It turns out that human existence itself is anti-entropy and is really taught. It seems that you can't learn a little knowledge, and you don't know why.
The evolution of>& gt is a miracle, because it obviously violates the natural law of entropy increase. It is no exaggeration to say that neither the author nor the reader of this book should exist in this world at all if we understand it according to the known scientific laws.
The mind is really not easy.
& gt& gt The growth of mind and the maturity of mind need constant efforts, and it must be a difficult process. It must oppose the laws of nature and run counter to the natural tendency to follow the rules. But unfortunately, we are used to keeping the original state and are keen on using old maps and old methods; We are used to taking a flat road, and we are afraid that there will be thorns all the way. In the process of resisting the laws of nature, the mind needs the power to resist entropy. Just like biological evolution, our thinking has overcome the power of entropy and developed to this day. Despite all kinds of resistance, although not everyone can persist, our hearts are gradually becoming mature and healthy. We will inevitably suffer, but quite a few people can still achieve self-expansion and self-improvement, which has promoted the continuous progress of culture and society. There is a kind of power behind us, an unspeakable power, which makes us rather endure pain and choose a difficult journey, so that we dare to cross thorns and mud and move towards a better realm of life.
Take positive action and overcome resistance.
& gt& gt The pyramid of spiritual evolution applies to everyone. Our hearts are eager to grow, but we must act actively and overcome resistance to achieve our goals.
Expectations are endless.
& gt& gt We are disillusioned because our expectations of the world are much higher than those of the previous generation. What can't be tolerated today was taken for granted yesterday.
& gt& gt According to Roman law, fathers have absolute control over their children. Fathers can sell their children or put them to death. The concept of father as absolute authority was later written into English law, and remained unchanged until14th century. In the Middle Ages, people's childhood was not as beautiful as now imagined. When children reach the age of seven, they will be sent out as slaves or apprentices. Compared with their labor, learning ranks second, and their role is to act as slaves of industry owners. There is basically no difference between the treatment of children and servants, and the wording of titles is difficult to distinguish. It was not until the16th century that children began to be valued, and the society realized that they had to go through a special growth process and deserved the care of their parents.
The chapter "Miracle of Evolution" is really the essence, revealing why we should choose the road that few people take, because what we need is self-improvement, not stagnation, not retrogression and disintegration.
& gt& gt In the final analysis, what forces push individuals and even the whole species to overcome natural resistance such as laziness? In fact, we have given it a name, that is "love". The reason why we can grow lies in our continuous efforts; We can work hard because we know how to respect and love ourselves. Loving ourselves makes us willing to accept self-discipline, and loving others makes us help others improve themselves. Self-perfecting love is a typical evolutionary behavior with endless characteristics. In the biological world, there is a permanent and universal evolutionary force, which is embodied in human beings and is human love. It violates the natural law of entropy increase, and it is a magical force that moves towards progress forever.
Entropy and Original Sin
& gt& gt obstacles to mental maturity. The biggest obstacle is laziness. As long as laziness is overcome, other obstacles can be solved. If we can't overcome laziness, then no matter how perfect other conditions are, we can't succeed.
Laziness is terrible, try to overcome it.
& gt& gt We always avoid the necessary pain and are used to choosing the smooth road, which is due to our inertia. When talking about love, I also stressed that many people's love is false love, because they don't want to bear the pain of self-expansion and self-improvement. Laziness is the opposite of love. Maturity of mind needs hard work. Now, we should explore the nature of laziness. Simply put, laziness is a terrible negative force in life.
Sex is innocent, worldly desires are innocent.
& gt& gt I have always thought that sex has nothing to do with original sin. Personally, sex is as innocent as my other hobbies. If I indulge myself and enjoy the delicious food, I will get indigestion at most afterwards, but I don't think I am guilty. I know the world is full of sin, deception, prejudice, torture and cruelty, but I don't see any inherent sin in babies.
Lazy!
& gt& gt Yes, we do have one original sin: laziness. Everyone has this original sin, including babies, children, teenagers, adults and the elderly, including smart people and fools, including healthy people and disabled people. Maybe some people are not too lazy, but in essence, all people are lazy, just to varying degrees. No matter how energetic, ambitious and wise we are, as long as we reflect deeply, we will find our lazy side, which is the power of entropy in our hearts. In the process of spiritual evolution, it always confronts us and prevents our mind from maturing.
That is to say, everyone wants their work tasks to remain the same, and they don't want additional emergencies. This is also one of the comfort zones.
& gt& gt People always feel that new information is threatening, because if the new information is true, they need to do a lot of hard work and modify the map about reality.
Comfort circle
& gt& gt We are actually afraid of losing our current position or role, so we are afraid of changing to a new role and reaching a new position.
It's easier to find, easier to know, and harder to be autonomous.
& gt& gt The more mature a person's mind is, the more he can perceive his laziness; The more self-reflection, the more you can find traces of laziness.
entropy
& gt& gt We are all equal, and everyone has two selves: one is morbid and the other is healthy; One to live, the other to die. Each of us is actually enough to represent the whole mankind. In everyone, there is an instinct for divinity, a desire for perfection, and an original sin of laziness. The omnipresent power of entropy tries to push us back to the early stage of human evolution-there are our childhood, our mother's womb and desolate primitive swamp.
Evil question
& gt& gt Love is the antonym of laziness. Laziness in the general sense is nothing more than passively losing the ability to love. Some lazy people can get out of trouble, achieve self-expansion and self-improvement as long as they lift a finger. But unless forced to do so, they would rather keep the status quo.
entropy
> > The evolution of entropy and the evolution of love are two opposing forces. In some people, they can get a balance, while in others, they are at loggerheads. These are all normal phenomena.
The essence of power
Alas, ascetic.
& gt& gt Finding the direction of life usually takes a long process, and it is difficult to achieve the goal only by opportunism or a flash in the brain. True self-knowledge is always a slow and gradual process. We should have enough patience, careful observation and profound introspection at any step. We should be more modest and down-to-earth. The road to mental maturity is a never-ending process of learning and progress.
Chicken soup; Inspirational nonsense
& gt& gt With enough patience and hard work, we will advance along the road of mental maturity, and a little knowledge and experience will gradually gather together. Gradually, the road of life will clearly appear in front of you.
Like god
& gt& gt If someone asks us where our knowledge and strength come from, anyone who has priceless treasures at the same time will definitely answer, "This is not my strength, it comes from another unparalleled strength. What I have shown is only a small part of it. I just exist as a way, and the real power does not belong to me. "
Finally, it is said that
& gt& gt The accumulation of spiritual strength will bring another problem, that is loneliness.
What about loneliness?
& gt& gt A man with a mature mind near the peak is like a responsive and powerful king. They can't shirk their responsibilities and mistakes, and no one tells them what to do. They don't have anyone commensurate with their situation and feelings, so they can release their pressure and vent their pain.
This sense of loneliness is also the embodiment of entropy, forcing us to yield and grasp what is intertwined with drunkenness and money. Alas! How difficult it is!
& gt& gt Even Jesus' infinite love and compassion can't get rid of his intense loneliness. It is a kind of coldness, loneliness and loneliness. On the road of mental maturity, all those who walk in front and all those who walk farthest will feel this loneliness. Loneliness itself is like a heavy burden. If we don't leave others far behind, we are getting closer and closer to God, and we can feel his breath and appreciate his smile, then we will certainly be unbearable.
The legend of Orestes.
& gt& gt If you want to understand the nature of the world and the relationship between yourself and the world, you may experience all kinds of pains. Only by experiencing pains can you finally move towards the truth.
Comfort circle comfort
& gt& gt We tend to avoid all pain and suffering, so we may turn a blind eye to some negative phenomena and ignore the cruel reality. Our purpose is only to defend our consciousness and prevent real information from invading it. Psychologists call this situation "the defense mechanism of consciousness". Everyone may use this mechanism to intentionally limit their cognitive range and cognitive ability. However, whether out of laziness or fear of pain, we use defense mechanisms to hinder our cognitive process, and our understanding of the world will be pitiful, our hearts will be out of touch with reality, and our words and deeds will become unrealistic. When this situation develops to a certain extent, serious mental illness will occur. Even if we don't realize it ourselves, others will clearly see that we are divorced from reality and become poor freaks or aliens. We think we are normal, but in fact our mental illness may be quite serious.
Resistance to elegance
& gt& gt Love is to expand one's will for mental maturity. People who really love will naturally grow up in their hearts. I once said that parents' love can nourish children's hearts and cultivate their ability to love. I have also emphasized that it is not enough to rely solely on parents' love for children's ability to gain love.
The comfort zone is a hotbed of laziness.
& gt& gt In other words, we all contain the original sin component of entropy. The power of entropy urges us to deliberately resist the power of treatment, so that we would rather muddle along than spend any effort, just wanting to maintain the current state of existence.
Correct the map in time
& gt& gt Psychologists and even many laymen know that people who have just been promoted, have higher positions or take on more responsibilities are prone to psychological problems. Military psychologists are familiar with the so-called "promotion neurosis", and they find that many junior noncommissioned officers will suffer from neurosis once they are promoted.
The relationship between power and obligation
With elegance comes a greater sense of responsibility. Accepting grace means that we should resist inertia, stand up and become messengers of strength and agents of love.
Only 1% of the top talents.
& gt& gt In this world, few people can continue to grow and are always willing to accept new and greater responsibilities. Most people will stop moving at any time. In fact, their minds are only partially mature at best. They always avoid full maturity, because in that case, they have to make more efforts to fulfill the higher requirements given by God.
Many are called, but few are chosen.
& gt& gt It is so difficult to respond to the call of grace. No wonder Jesus said that "many people are called, but few are chosen".
Welcome to Grace.
God's chosen person
& gt& gt People who accept the arrival of grace and reach the realm of "harmony between man and nature" are always full of surprises for themselves. They don't think it's because of their hard work. Although they may be aware of what they have achieved, they will not regard this situation as their subjective choice, but feel that all this is the result of some smarter and more ingenious force than their consciousness. The higher the realm, the more you can appreciate the mystery of elegance.
Does it taste like chicken soup?
Self-discipline first, love yourself first, and then love others.
& gt& gt So is Grace. We already know that dreams are just a form of grace arrival to us. We should adopt the same attitude towards other forms-sudden inspiration and omen, synchronous events and unexpected good luck, and love itself. Everyone wants to be loved, but before that, we must make ourselves worthy of being loved and be ready to be loved. To do this, we need to turn ourselves into self-disciplined and caring people. If we deliberately pursue the love of others and expect someone to love us, it is impossible to reach such a state, because we can't really love others and can only rely on others. But when we nourish ourselves and others without asking for anything in return, we will unconsciously become lovely people, so that love will come to us inadvertently. Whether it is human love or God's love, this is the law.
painful
& gt& gt's journey of mental maturity is hard. No matter thinking or acting, it is inseparable from the spirit of courage, enterprising and independence. Even with the prophet's warning, you still need to go alone. No spiritual teacher can hold your hand and go forward, and no established religious ceremony can make you do it overnight. No sermon can exempt travelers from the pain they must experience on the spiritual road. You can only choose your own life path, endure the hardships and tribulations of life, and finally reach the realm of God.
Haha, this is an interesting explanation about the bad side of science.
& gt& gt Even after we really understand all these contents, the road to mental maturity is still difficult and lonely, which often makes us lose courage. We live in an era in which science dominates our thinking, which in some ways contributes to mental maturity, but in others it makes us even more discouraged. We believe that the laws of the universe are knowable and don't believe in mysterious miracles. Physics tells us that the earth we live in is just a dot in the vast sea of stars, and we seem to be completely lost in the vast universe. Psychology makes us realize that our spiritual world is also controlled by forces outside our consciousness. Biochemical reactions in the brain and conflicts in the subconscious make us feel and act in a certain way, and we can't even realize it. Scientific knowledge has replaced myths and legends, making us feel that everything about ourselves seems meaningless. After all, when our science can neither understand the forces that dominate the spiritual world nor measure the vast universe, where is the greatness of our individuals and even the whole mankind?