But this is not the case. Even if the other person is someone we have known for a long time, we think we can guess their likes, dislikes and needs, but sometimes we are wrong. In fact, there is evidence that the longer we know a person, the less likely we are to guess his preferences.
In a group of studies conducted by behavioral scientists Benjamin Scheibehenne, Jutta Mata and Peter Todd, subjects scored 1 18 in the range of 1 ~ 4, 65438. In addition, these people also need to predict how an acquaintance will evaluate these things. Some subjects can only choose people who have known each other for a short time (with an average of 2 years); Others need to choose people who have known each other for a much longer time (the average number of years of acquaintance exceeds 10 years). In this study, it is very important to set a score of four, because it means that if you give a score to a complete stranger, then according to the probability, this person's correct guess rate is about 25%. Fortunately, the experimental results let everyone breathe a sigh of relief. The accuracy of the two groups of subjects in predicting acquaintances' preferences is higher than that of pure strangers.
But ... not that high.
The group that predicted acquaintances who had known each other for about two years had an accuracy rate of 42%. Surprisingly, the accuracy of predicting acquaintances who have known each other for more than ten years is only 36%. But the most telling thing is that all the subjects didn't realize how little they knew about others. In the preliminary tests conducted by the researchers, both groups thought that they had at least 60% accuracy. Of course, the question we want to ask here is, why? Facts have proved that there are many potential reasons for the decline in the accuracy of old acquaintance preference prediction. An obvious explanation is that most of our understanding and information exchange with others occur in the early stage of communication, when the enthusiasm for mutual understanding is quite high. As time goes on, this enthusiasm gradually cools down and the exchange of new information becomes less frequent. So we may not notice the change of each other's preferences. Another possible reason for guessing the preferences of old acquaintances is that because they have been together for a long time, both sides feel that the relationship is quite close, so they think they know each other very well, so they don't pay much attention to the changes in each other's attitudes and preferences. If these changes are gradual or subtle, they will not be noticed.
There is also evidence that in some cases, people who have known each other for a long time may tell some white lies to each other or avoid talking frankly. This behavior has the important function of protecting the relationship, which can be understood in this case. However, this method, which was originally designed to protect long-term relationships, will gradually make people neglect to understand, but may destroy relationships. Therefore, although in some areas, the growth of age may make us smarter, but this wisdom may not extend to interpersonal relationships unless we take some measures to ensure that both sides can always communicate frankly and exchange their likes and dislikes. This method is not only reasonable, but also healthy.
? This method is also helpful for communication at work. Imagine a person who works in a business development department. His duty is to sell the company's services to the purchasing managers of other enterprises. Another example is an account manager who works in a service organization. In both cases, these roles are likely to have invested a lot of time and energy in building profitable business relationships with customers. It is also possible that they prefer to be the only ones who have access to these customers. After all, they know their customers best.
However, this study shows that occasionally inviting a colleague who doesn't know customers well to attend the meeting may open up some huge new opportunities, because this colleague may ask some brand-new questions, and for the sake of credibility, experienced managers or managers may not be convenient to ask such questions, because in the other party's view, they should know the answers.
? Similarly, in a customer-centered organization, when arranging new employees to study, the training department should not only let them follow the best colleagues, but also arrange them to follow the employees who have worked in the organization for the longest time. This has two advantages: newcomers can learn valuable experience in dealing with customers, and old employees can get some valuable new things from customers they have known for many years.
The strategy of this chapter is that whether you are dealing with old customers you have known for many years or long-term cooperative partners, you should exchange new information with them regularly and arrange some informal exchange opportunities to enhance mutual understanding. The importance of doing so cannot be overemphasized.