Entering the university, we are facing new environment and new challenges. Being away from home, studying and living at school, in this environment, good interpersonal relationship is particularly important. This is not only the guarantee of our normal study and life, but also the deep need of our self-development. In order to realize this need, we must first have our own understanding and understanding of interpersonal communication and interpersonal relationship theory. So what is interpersonal communication? The so-called interpersonal communication refers to the dynamic process in which individuals and individuals, individuals and collectives, and individuals and groups use verbal and nonverbal symbols to exchange opinions, exchange news, convey thoughts, express emotions and needs in society, thus producing mutual influence in psychology and behavior.
The process of interpersonal communication is a series of constantly changing and developing activities, and every communication between people is only a part of this series of communication activities. The process of interpersonal communication will show several characteristics such as double initiative, two-way, mutual understanding and so on. Interpersonal relationship is in every corner of social life, and different interpersonal relationships contain the same factors. Interpersonal communication and interpersonal relationship are related. Interpersonal communication is the premise and foundation for the formation of interpersonal relationship. People in real life are bound to communicate with others in various forms. As Marx said: "People not only influence nature in production, but also influence each other. They can only produce if they cooperate in some way. In order to produce, people come into contact with each other. Only within this contact range can they have an impact on nature and production. "
People need to establish good interpersonal relationships as a necessary condition for their survival and development. This is especially true in today's society where the pace of life is accelerating and the competition is fierce. In the process of communication, there will also be phenomena of incomprehension, unwillingness and poor communication. Some people are afraid of delaying their study and work, afraid to associate with others, and close their eyes and plug their ears; Some people feel inferior and dare not associate with others; And some people have a strong desire to communicate, but they don't know how to communicate. These phenomena are not conducive to the establishment of good interpersonal relationships. We know that Ma Jiajue, the chief culprit of the "2.23 murder case" in Yunnan University, which sensationalized the whole country, embarked on the road of murder because of some minor contradictions with his classmates. This matter has to cause us to think. Therefore, in our life, study and work, we should face up to and solve the problems of being unwilling to communicate, not knowing how to communicate and not being good at communicating, shape our own image, treat interpersonal communication with a positive attitude and behavior, and establish harmonious interpersonal relationships. The connection between interpersonal communication and interpersonal relationship is also manifested in the fact that interpersonal relationship is the performance and result of interpersonal communication.
Interpersonal communication and interpersonal relationship are interrelated unity. Interpersonal communication maintains the existence of human society. The survival and development of human society can not be separated from communication activities for a day. Psychologists' research shows that under normal circumstances, except for a few hours of sleep, a person spends more than 70% of his time in direct or indirect interpersonal communication. Today's society has entered the information age. There are more and more exchange activities. Interpersonal communication also maintains people's mental health. A healthy mind is very important to each of us. If people's needs are not met, they will have all kinds of bad emotions and affect their mental health.
People's needs and the pursuit of satisfying them are signs of people's health, and interpersonal communication is an irreplaceable link that needs to be obtained and satisfied at all levels. Yunnan University "2.23 homicide case", the central leadership and public security departments made important instructions on this case. It once again sounded the alarm for us and attracted the attention of many educators and jurists. The issue of adolescent psychological education is once again put on the important agenda. This rare murder case of college students has aroused widespread concern in society, and public opinion has once again paid attention to the psychological health of college students. Therefore, Yunnan University strengthens students' mental health education. This has also attracted the attention of many universities. This semester in our shipyard, the relay protection department requires the relay protection committee members of each class to submit an information report every week, which mainly reflects the students' thoughts (mainly negative thoughts) and views on current politics in the past week. This is conducive to the management of students, but also attaches importance to the performance of students' mental health. Ma Jiajue's appearance is really scary, which may be one of the reasons why his classmates are far away from him. As a result, he felt very inferior and didn't like to associate with people. It is this that produces a distorted psychology. Of course, his psychology is also related to his family and when he was in primary school and middle school. And interpersonal communication is the basic element to maintain people's mental health. At the same time, interpersonal communication is also the only way for individual socialization. So we should avoid this situation. You can increase cultural knowledge, enrich social experience, accumulate life experience, broaden your horizons, increase your knowledge, and strengthen your understanding of life and society. You can also use communication as a window to gain insight into your mental health, peep at your comprehensive ability level, evaluate and know yourself through others' attitudes towards yourself, adjust yourself, and make yourself constantly improve and become an all-round social person.
The problem of communication and getting along with others is not unique to college students, but special among them. The main task of college students is to prepare for the pre-functional professional foundation, and the cultivation of interpersonal skills is also one of the necessary preparations. Communication is also one of the basic activities of college students. Communication can make people accumulate knowledge, enrich experience, master skills and make contributions. Positive interpersonal communication contributes to college students' mental health, personality development and social adaptability. College students' interpersonal communication is an effective way to create a good interpersonal environment; It is a necessary condition for physical and mental health; It is the key to the free development of personality; It is an important way to become a talent. On the one hand, positive interpersonal communication can help college students to vent, transfer and forget bad emotions, let go of unhappiness, ease psychological contradictions and release psychological pressure, so as not to be hard to return; On the other hand, it can make college students have psychological support, full spirit and comfortable mood, which is conducive to physical and mental health. College students can develop their strengths and avoid their weaknesses, generate positive emotions, cultivate strong upward will, gain courage to overcome difficulties, and optimize and develop their personality. College students are eager to become talents, but success is influenced by various factors, and interpersonal communication is a very important factor. Man's success is always closely related to his knowledge and ability. Acquiring knowledge, applying knowledge, cultivating ability and creating new knowledge are all inseparable from interpersonal communication. Being in a group that can communicate frequently, we can help each other in study, complement each other in knowledge, comfort each other in spirit and support each other in life, which is conducive to our healthy growth.
2 1 century Many college students are only children. Parents take special care of their children and often restrict their children's communication too much. In the period of rapid social change and development, a series of changes have taken place in social life, which have had a certain impact on college students' ideas. Therefore, college students' interpersonal communication is often manifested in the urgency of communication desire, the diversity of communication methods, the richness of communication content and the gradual process of communication.
For young college students, if they want to communicate successfully and find intimate friends, they must follow the basic principles of interpersonal communication. So what are the principles of interpersonal communication among college students? The first is the principle of equality. Equality is the premise of establishing good interpersonal relationships. We respect each other in our communication and respect each other's personality, hobbies and customs. The second is the principle of sincerity. Sincerity is the foundation of being a man and the embodiment of good moral character. Treating others sincerely is the most valuable and important principle in interpersonal communication. Honesty is the most important thing for people to understand each other. No matter who college students associate with, they should abandon hypocrisy and keep consistent in their interactions. Really want to stay, match words with deeds, and abide by the motto, so as to win the support of others. Only in this way can we continue to communicate with people and consolidate and develop interpersonal relationships. The third is the principle of tolerance. Tolerance is the expression of optimism, self-confidence, firm will and broad mind. Tolerance is the key to interpersonal communication. But tolerance is not to lose yourself, but to give others with a broad mind on the basis of upholding principles and self-love, so that others and themselves can be happy every day. The fourth is the principle of seeking common ground. Is the guarantee of successful communication. But seeking common ground is not unprincipled catering, but seeking common ground for what each other needs, and seeking common ground in the direction of resolving contradictions or on the side with close ties.
By understanding the characteristics and principles of communication, we can gain some knowledge of communication. Combine these characteristics and principles to accumulate experience and promote your interpersonal relationship.
The main fields of college students' interpersonal communication are: affection, friendship, teacher-student relationship and love. We can talk about the invitation first It is a kind of communication with family and the support of life, which needs to be developed through communication. Communicate with parents, exchange thoughts and feelings, and interpret the invitation. Every phone call, every letter. Greet parents and relatives and talk about our study and life at school. It will make our parents and relatives more happy and less concerned. We know that after the Ma Jiajue incident, through the reporter's understanding, Ma Jiajue seldom communicated with his parents and relatives in his school study and life. When it happened, his parents and relatives couldn't believe it, and they couldn't accept the reality at once. I think it is necessary to communicate and contact with family and relatives. As for friendship, it is an emotional attachment to life and needs to be extended in communication. In communication, we should cherish the friendship with our classmates, which brings fun and luster to our study and life. We know that the soul without friendship is lonely, the life without friendship will become boring and monotonous, and the life without friendship is an imperfect life. As bacon said: the lack of true friends is the purest and most pitiful loneliness; Without friendship, the world is just a wilderness. As far as friendship is concerned, what does the Ma Jiajue incident remind us of? What have we learned from it? Next, let's talk about the teacher-student relationship. In the process of communicating with teachers, we have established a teacher-student relationship. It is a precious wealth in life and needs to be consolidated in communication. Through the interaction with teachers, students can learn and master the necessary knowledge, understand the methods of being a man, learn to be a man, learn the scientific spirit of advocating science and pursuing true knowledge, learn to make ladders and green leaves to set off the quality of safflower, and learn how teachers conduct research and learn. Through interaction with students, teachers can master students' thoughts and understand their learning requirements, so that teachers and students can complement each other. As for love, it is a part of life. Love has always been a sensitive topic on campus and a hot topic among college students. But love is also a science and an art. For college students who are not fully mature psychologically, not everyone can skillfully control the ark of love, raise sails and sail smoothly and romantically. In short, in every field of communication, we need to learn and accumulate slowly, and we need to explore and dig.
What about interpersonal communication, interpersonal relationship and social adaptation? We cultivate interpersonal communication in universities and lay a foundation for our future social development. "People are not abstract beings living outside the world. Man is man's world, that is, the country and society. " College students are bound to go to society and adapt to it. Adaptation is the interaction between individuals and the environment, which can affect people's thoughts and behaviors, and personal thoughts and behaviors also affect the environment. Social adaptation is mainly the adaptation of interpersonal relationship, and learn to establish harmonious interpersonal relationship. This should be done from the following three aspects: first, self-confidence; The second is restraint; The third is enthusiasm. The ways of social adaptation are: social education; School behavior training; The requirements for self-education to adapt to society are: self-discipline and heteronomy. The so-called self-discipline is to restrain yourself and consciously limit your behavior within a certain range, which belongs to internal control. It includes self-monitoring consciousness and self-control ability. If a person loses self-control, no matter who he is, he is usually easily defeated. If you don't control your behavior and emotions, it will be harmful to society and yourself, not to mention social adaptation. However, self-discipline alone is not enough. There should be a binding force to supervise, restrain and urge college students, so that their thoughts and behaviors can meet the social requirements and benefit the society. This is not only the requirement of college students themselves, but also the requirement of modern legal society.
Through the above analysis and explanation, we should have some knowledge and understanding of interpersonal communication. Of course, we can't fully understand and master it, but more or less we all have some understanding and experience. We should have some understanding and guidance on how to communicate among college students. This problem also deserves our serious consideration. Cultivating good interpersonal communication requires us to accumulate, experience and explore slowly in our study and life.