According to the statistics of China Compulsory Education Quality Inspection Report, only 6.5% of parents in China really care about their children's mental health. At the same time, according to the China National Mental Health Development Report (20 17—20 18) jointly issued by the Institute of Psychology of Chinese Academy of Sciences and Social Science Literature Publishing House, there are at least 3,000 children and adolescents under 17 suffering from psychological problems in China, showing depression, anxiety, weariness of studying and even self-mutilation.
Why do children have such a great negative psychological influence? Actually, it has a lot to do with "learned helplessness".
"learned helplessness" is a psychological concept put forward by the famous American psychologist Sally Gorman. He did a classic experiment with dogs: he first put a dog in a cage and received an electric shock. After repeated many times, open the cage door and the dog can escape from the cage at any time. But when the electric shock struck again, the dog didn't run away, but lay on the ground groaning and trembling in pain.
This phenomenon was named "learned helplessness" by Sally Germain, and later it was extended to describe that people will feel helpless and give up on themselves when they face the same problem again after many failures and setbacks. Many children have negative psychological emotions, which is related to "learned helplessness" in Dachuan.
For example, children with poor academic performance will get tired of learning after a long time. Their grades are not good and they are often scolded and criticized by their parents. After a long time, they really think that they are not learning materials, and they give up learning when there is no hope. So what does this have to do with optimism? From the psychological point of view, "learned helplessness" is a kind of pessimistic inferiority complex. If a child is optimistic enough, it is difficult to have a psychological state of "learned helplessness".
Faced with many failures and setbacks, optimistic children can often look forward to the further future and feel that they will be able to overcome difficulties and achieve success. And pessimistic children, after many failures, give up on themselves. Therefore, it has become a problem that many parents want to solve to let their children have an optimistic attitude and prevent them from falling into negative psychological problems.
ABC law of psychology: optimistic children are cultivated by their parents;
We often say that "parents are the best teachers for children". Whether children are optimistic or not has a lot to do with the cultivation of parents. In psychology, there is an "ABC" rule that can help parents understand more intuitively how to cultivate optimistic children.
The "ABC" rule of psychology is a concept put forward by Albert Ellis, a famous psychologist. Where a is an event, representing some sudden or induced events; B is belief, which represents people's views on emergencies and their evaluation of A; C is the consequence, representing the emotional and behavioral consequences.
Under normal circumstances, we would think that event A caused the consequence of C, but Albert Ellis refuted this statement. He thinks that there is no direct relationship between A and C, and the role of B is more obvious. Simply put, after the A incident, people's views on B led to the emergence of C consequences.
Generally speaking, we look at things from different angles, and our mentality and behavior may be different. That is, "a blessing in disguise is a blessing in disguise", sometimes bad things don't necessarily have bad results. For example, children are lively and active, and some parents think that children are naughty, lax in discipline, and even beat and scold children; Some parents think that their children are energetic and allow them to explore the world curiously and give full play to their intelligence.
Different parents' different practices may lead children to develop in two different directions, and children who are beaten and scolded by their parents become inferior and passive to Nuo Nuo; Children encouraged by their parents become confident, generous, creative and imaginative.
People who love to laugh are not bad luck. Parents use ABC law of psychology to cultivate optimistic children;
1. Teach children to look at problems from multiple angles.
Just like the text "A blessing in disguise is a blessing in disguise" that we have learned, bad things do not necessarily bring bad results. Parents teach their children to look at problems from various angles, which may help them develop an optimistic and cheerful personality.
For example, children are depressed because they usually fail exams. Parents can tell their children that you have accumulated several problems that you can't do this time and overcome them all. You will do it next time and gradually accumulate more and more problems that you can do. Or you can tell your child that the topic you couldn't write last time will be written this time, which is an improvement.
In this way, children can see many positive things from failing the exam. After they form the habit of thinking from multiple angles, they will not be pessimistic when they encounter bad things, but will be optimistic.
2. Parents lead by example
A child is like a blank sheet of paper. When they first arrived in this world, there was no difference between pessimism and optimism at first. They observe and understand the world in ignorance. Parents' attitude is a factor that affects children's personality development.
Since it is necessary to cultivate children's optimistic spirit, parents should set an example. According to the "ABC" rule, parents' different views on B will lead to different consequences of C. If parents can't accept their children's failure in the exam, they will scold them and call them stupid. Negative views will lead to negative consequences, and children will become negative under the influence of negative emotions of parents.
Therefore, parents should be optimistic about the problem at ordinary times, infect their children through their own words and deeds, and let them develop good thinking habits and cultivate optimistic personality.
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Maybe parents can't change their children's IQ and talent, but they can change their views. For example, children do not study well, but draw well. Why don't parents accept this question optimistically? Since they can't let their children become schoolmasters, let them become good painters. I believe it will be easier to change your opinion, influence children and help them grow up happily and healthily.
Today's interactive topic: Do you think it is important for children to have an optimistic personality? Welcome to leave a message in the comment area!