Recently, two students jumped ship at the same time, and they were not very happy.
They both went to naked resignation before looking for jobs. They spent more than 300 resumes a month but didn't even get a few interviews. The limited number of interview places is also very bad, so I am very depressed.
However, their reactions to setbacks are quite different.
One said, "I'm unlucky this year, so I have to go to the temple to worship when I have time"; Another said, "It was careless to change jobs this time. You shouldn't quit your job before looking for a job. Once something goes wrong, you will be anxious. Next time, you should find a good job before you leave. "
Their reactions reflect how different world views affect our attitudes and behaviors.
The first person's worldview is that there is a Buddha in the world, and the Buddha is controlling people's fortune, so when she encounters problems, she will think about worshipping Buddha to change her fortune;
The second world outlook does not reflect the belief in Buddhism or other supernatural beings, so she will find specific reasons when she encounters problems.
World outlook, outlook on life and values are collectively called three views, which determine our fundamental attitude towards the world, life and the value of things.
① world outlook
World outlook is a person's general and fundamental view of the world, which affects your outlook on life and values.
For example, Plato's philosophical system is based on the world view that the earth is the center of the universe.
For another example, a person who believes that the world was created by God, compared with a pure materialist, has a very different world in their eyes, so their outlook on life and values will be very different.
② Outlook on life
Outlook on life is a person's view of life, that is, the view of the purpose, value and significance of human existence.
For example, some people's outlook on life is "live, eat, drink and be merry", which means to live a relaxed and happy life.
Some people's outlook on life is to "practice for the next life or the next few lives" or "leave a name in history".
These outlooks on life are the embodiment of the world outlook on life. For example, the outlook on life of "practicing for the next life or the next few lives" is the embodiment of the world outlook of "believing in Buddhism on earth".
③ Values
Values are a person's general and fundamental view of the value of things. On the one hand, they show value orientation and value pursuit; On the other hand, it is the evaluation scale and standard to judge whether things are valuable or not.
For example, some people regard money as the highest value pursuit, while others regard money as something outside their bodies, or even as dirt.
These values are the embodiment of the world outlook in looking at things. For example, the value of "treating money like dirt" is the embodiment of the Buddhist worldview.
Therefore, to really understand yourself, you need to take some time to review your three views, so that you will know why you hold a certain concept, why you think some people make sense, why you think that people who talk nonsense are sought after by many people, and so on.
Second, recognize your dreams (wishes)
My son has just entered a small kindergarten class. I asked him: What is your dream when you grow up?
He said he wanted to be a cook.
I asked him again: Why do you want to be a chef?
He replied: so I can cook a lot of delicious food for myself.
Dreams are about thinking about the future now, so even very young children have dreams in their hearts. Although it sounds funny, it well reflects one of his desires now.
The essence of dreams is a concentrated expression of one's three views on goals (desires). The reason why you want to take out your dream alone is to confirm whether your dream is consistent with your three views.
Man is a gregarious animal who is easy to conform. Many times, our dream is just a goal to emulate.
For example, in the Yuan Dynasty and the Ming Dynasty, most people's dream of studying was to be an official in the imperial examination in China.
In the early days of reform and opening up, under the mercantilist atmosphere that making missiles was not as good as selling tea eggs, many people's dreams were to make money by doing business.
This dream of drifting with the flow may be very inconsistent with your three views, so even if you work hard to make money, you will not feel happy and have a feeling of wasting your life. In the process of struggle, I will be more anxious than others
Take the fiery entrepreneurial dream in recent years as an example.
If your entrepreneurial dream was born under the wave of "mass innovation and entrepreneurship", you need to take a good look. Is your entrepreneurial dream just to follow the trend, or is it the embodiment of your three views?
If it is the former, you can think about it carefully. Are there any other dreams that are more in line with your three views?
Third, recognize your own behavioral tendencies.
There is really more than one person to take children to the scenic spots during the Spring Festival.
A slightly more popular project is two long queues, which may not last for an hour, and almost everyone is in a hurry.
I remember when I was waiting in line for the cable car, it was almost time for us, and a mother jumped in front of us with her children. As she cut in line, she said, "We stood in line before and just took the children to the bathroom."
My subconscious reaction was to step back and avoid. As a result, a girl with a red face behind me quit and screamed, "Why are you so incompetent? Why don't you wait in line!" "
When the patience of queuing for a long time is almost exhausted, human behavior is basically an instinctive behavior tendency.
My behavioral tendency is to avoid, while the girl behind me is to attack.
Many of our behaviors are subconscious, for example, some people sit and sway their legs, some people like to be quiet and alone, and some people prefer to make sounds rather than write down words.
This behavior tendency is difficult to control, because it happened before you realized it.
Therefore, first of all, you should use all kinds of assessments to understand your behavior tendency in a three-dimensional way, so as to intervene this behavior in advance in some cases.
Why do you have to know your own behavioral tendencies? There are three reasons:
You can know what kind of attitude you are most likely to form and what kind of behavior you will have when you lose control.
If conditions permit, you can try to choose a job or social role that is more suitable for your behavior tendency, so that you can do better with less energy.
You will be more willing to adjust your behavior in specific situations, because you already know that some of your behaviors are subconscious behavior tendencies, so you will have less psychological obstacles when you adjust.
Influence of innate conditions: If your innate conditions are not suitable for a certain field, then no matter how inspirational and excellent you are, you will not be a top talent in this field.
Therefore, after understanding one's three views, dreams and behavioral tendencies in attitude and consciousness, one should also recognize one's objective innate conditions and choose a field that is more suitable for one's innate conditions if possible.
Fifth, recognize your own ability boundaries.
Sixth, recognize your own environment.
Three views, dreams, behavioral tendencies, innate conditions, and ability boundaries are all directed at themselves and look inward.
The natural environment will limit your experiences and activities; Times and environment will limit your vision and influence; Your growing environment will affect your three views and behavioral tendencies; The class environment you live in will limit your growth height.
So after recognizing your environment, you will have a clearer understanding of yourself, and you will not be obsessed with what you can't get, so you will not be so anxious.