Also dream and illusion.
Life is true, death is true, dream is true, illusion is true.
Or both are false.
Who knows?
-------
Wake up time is six in the morning, no alarm clock. The time to go to sleep is whatever you want, you have to talk to the God of the Week, just fall asleep, not to talk about it.
In fact, it is better to pay attention to everything, and the sense of ceremony is also important.
So I made an appointment with myself to go to bed, strictly speaking, to turn off my cell phone. This is good. It's a good idea to make an appointment, and it's a good idea to make an appointment. Otherwise I'm always absent from sleep.
The cell phone is off, there is no light in front of the eyes, the brain seems to be alive. Breakfast meal, do not want to return the message, as well as sideways look out the window, the stars, the moon, the shadow of the tree feel lovely. More vivid than even during the day.
Imagine the sea in bed, it is far away. The evening breeze is the sea breeze, the waves when the trees move, I lie in a warm bed and wander ...... thinking far away, I want to sleep.
I am a person who enjoys life, but not very good at it, no one has taught me.
So my goal is to live.
I don't seem to care about much of the world, people or things. Don't have the gene for exploring the hustle and bustle. I like to stay in the house when I get off work, watch movies, listen to music, or cook for myself. I don't care if there's a disaster out there, I don't care about the interesting gossip they tell me, I don't care about why the young man who's staying over on the side of the road is staying over. All I think about is what I'm going to do when I get back later, what I'm going to eat, whether or not I'm going to wash my clothes, and whether or not it's time to water the flowers on the balcony.
I live alone.
So I don't care.
I was ten years old when my mother died. Collected the ashes alone. When I was buried, my uncle said, "You have to cry out loud, don't hold it in. I would only feel that crying is not necessary. They think I'm desperate and my heart is made of stone. The way they looked at me changed from compassionate to disgusted, I was a tumor in their family, no heart. I didn't say a word, packed my things and lived alone. They asked me again, have you been waiting for your mom to die so that you can take up the family property? I looked at them suspiciously. The words are all yours, I did not put a word.
I didn't feel that they cared about me, they were just noisy. I closed the door to my house and didn't open it again for them.
When I couldn't sleep, I got up and I went to my mother's photo and looked at her as if I wanted to see a spirit that would get up and talk to me. I wanted to ask her, my character is born? Why do I feel uninterested? Why is my failure to express emotions emotionless? Are tears real? But I am also real.
They all say I'm guilty, but I just think they're noisy.
They found a godmother who came to the house twice and said that the location of the master bedroom is in a dark place, which is bad for feng shui. They said that the master bedroom is in a dark place, which is bad for feng shui, and that they should change it. I said no. I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to get out of this, but I'm sure I'm going to be able to get out of this," he said.
This tone of voice as if he lived here for a long time. I'm the outsider. I am the one who grew up from here.
The feng shui was changed and I didn't like it. But my opinion didn't work, and I was only ten years old.
To this day, I stand in this place and still, I don't like it. And they say I don't understand. I do not know which is right?
Go to my uncle's house, my aunt pulled over my uncle and said, this person is not like your family, the eyes are too hard, send it away. I heard behind me, no words, put on his shoes and left. My uncle caught up with me and said he didn't mean it. I said I know, it's just that I don't like you guys either.
Mother, do you think my heart is really made of stone? I don't seem to care.
I'm living for myself, but they all come and say I'm wrong.
I never meddle in other people's lives, and they point fingers at me. I just find them noisy.
Walk to the window and take a deep breath. The convenience store downstairs is still open, the 24-hour sign, bouncing one by one. The homeless man next to him asks if he can turn the sign off, it's interfering with his sleep. The owner, in turn, shooed him away and went to sleep on one side, interfering with business. The couple kissing in the doorway did not comment. They were both living for themselves.
I said I was also living, they said indifference. The godmother said I was haunted by a ghost to be like this, I said then keep the ghost for me, it is quite good.
The uncle said it cost a lot of money to hire. I said what is wrong with the little ghosts? I don't understand.
They left me to fend for myself, and I think it's great. It was my mother who taught me not to bother people, and she wasn't wrong.
Sleepy, turned back to bed, I did not dress, tucked myself in naked. Tomorrow will be the same.
But if I don't wake up tomorrow, I'll be fine.
Life is life and death, dream and fantasy.
Life is real, death is real, dream is real, illusion is also.
But who knows.