First, overcome shyness.
Shyness is a general term for shyness and timidity. Timidity is a state of psychological preparation in which people want to communicate but are afraid to communicate. Shyness intensifies timidity. Almost all people have been shy and timid to some extent, but some people are particularly serious. Soldiers with a strong sense of shyness are characterized by blushing, deep words and heartbreak before speaking in interpersonal communication. When they encounter problems in study and training, they would rather keep them in their stomachs than ask officers or other comrades. Shyness arises from the induced reaction caused by physiological changes in adolescence. Young soldiers are in the most vigorous period of physical and mental development, and they secrete more hormones. When stimulated by the outside world, the balance in the body will be broken, they will become nervous, and there will be induced reactions such as sweating, blushing and palpitation. Second, psychological influences such as inferiority complex. Shy soldiers are ashamed to associate with others, especially strangers, because they lack confidence in themselves and are afraid of making mistakes. The third is the growing impact on the environment. If you were reprimanded, laughed at or teased by others in your childhood and adolescence, your shadow will have a long-term impact and you will be timid when you enter similar or new environments in the future. Shyness affects the normal communication and mental health of young soldiers, hinders them from better adapting to the social environment, and is not conducive to developing their own intelligence.
1, cultivate confidence in communication.
Self-confidence is manifested in all aspects. If you always think that you lack communication skills, your eloquence is not as good as others, your temperament and demeanor are not as good as others, and you are less worldly than others, you will shrink back in group activities and be ashamed to speak and discuss, so that your ability cannot be effectively exerted and the normal communication between comrades will be affected. To cultivate self-confidence, we should see our own strengths and not be ashamed of our own shortcomings. We believe that there is always something in ourselves that attracts others, and we can get rid of the shadow of inferiority in dealing with others.
2. Strive to enrich knowledge.
Artists are bold. With rich knowledge reserves and skillful communication skills, you will naturally be able to communicate with ease. Knowledge can enrich people's background, increase people's demeanor and improve people's temperament, and it is also a good medicine to overcome shyness. Therefore, we should study hard, broaden our knowledge, master some social knowledge and skills, and enhance our courage to communicate through the accumulation of knowledge.
3. Strengthen the exercise of communication skills.
Soldiers rarely have the opportunity to show themselves in the barracks, and their communication scope is small, so the development of communication ability is limited to a certain extent. Therefore, we should make full use of every opportunity to actively exercise ourselves, such as speaking boldly on various occasions and facing it bravely.
Second, overcome doubts.
Doubt is a complex emotional experience of distrust caused by subjective speculation. Suspicious people tend to be suspicious all day, out of thin air, always thinking that others are talking about themselves, looking down on themselves, calculating themselves, and thinking that everyone is untrustworthy and can't be handed over. Suspicion is a kind of negative psychology in military communication, which reflects selfish and narrow thoughts to varying degrees. For example, when some soldiers are criticized by their leaders, they always doubt who reports to them, those who compete with them, and those who have problems with them waiting for revenge. Some people even show a little abnormality to themselves and doubt that they are biased against themselves. Suspicion is a moth in interpersonal relationship and a taboo in harmonious interpersonal relationship. Once a person falls into the trap of unwarranted suspicion, he is bound to be neurotic everywhere, catch shadows, be suspicious, and lose trust in his comrades-in-arms, which will not only damage normal interpersonal communication, but also affect his physical and mental health.
There are many reasons for doubt. One is the wrong mentality. Generally speaking, doubt always starts from an imaginary goal, and uses one's own way of thinking to think "O" according to one's own knowledge and understanding. This kind of thinking starts from the imaginary goal and then returns to the imaginary goal, such as silkworms spinning cocoons, wrapping themselves in it and tying them to death. Second, there is a lack of mutual trust. If soldiers don't trust officers, they will "keep three points in their mouths" and keep one point in their work. Generally speaking, the less a person trusts others, the greater the possibility of being suspected. Third, the psychological quality is not good. Suspicion is usually accompanied by narrow selfishness, abnormal self-esteem and strong jealousy. If these unhealthy psychological phenomena are intertwined, it is bound to project their unhealthy mentality onto the recognized object intentionally or unintentionally in the process of perceiving each other, thus producing subjective speculation and imagination contrary to reality. Fourth, influenced by gossip. Listening to rumors will also arouse suspicion. When individuals fail to achieve their expected goals, they are easily disturbed by failure, listen to rumors and have doubts. How to overcome suspicion?
2, strengthen communication, close each other's psychological distance. Understanding is the foundation of trust, and trust is the bond of feelings. To trust each other, we must first understand each other; If you want the other person to trust you, you have to open your heart. Mutual understanding and trust between comrades can produce emotional resonance, thus effectively eliminating misunderstandings and doubts.
3. Optimize personality quality. A person's personality affects the process of observing things and perceiving others. Narrowness, selfishness and other bad characters will make people project their bad mentality on the observed object, which will lead to subjective speculation and speculation contrary to reality. As the saying goes, "Unjustified sadness comes out of thin air, all because of suspicion." Therefore, it is necessary to strengthen the transformation of personality quality, cultivate noble moral sentiments, purify the mind, broaden the mind, improve the spiritual realm, break through the shackles of closed thinking, get out of the dead end of "preconceptions" and "following the book", eliminate the negative influence of bad personality quality and eliminate the wrong projection tendency.
4. Increase the transparency of work. When you explain your work to your subordinates, you should disclose it to your heart; We should adhere to the principles of openness and democracy when dealing with issues such as soldiers joining the party and taking exams. Letting them know what happened can reduce their doubts and avoid prejudice.
Third, overcome loneliness.
Loneliness psychology is a lonely emotional experience caused by lack of communication with people. Psychological loneliness does not mean loneliness. True loneliness often comes from those who have superficial contact but lack emotional and ideological exchanges. Whether in a crowd or living alone in a room, you will feel lonely as long as you lack understanding of everything around you and don't communicate with the outside world. Deep loneliness can make people feel depressed, manic and disheartened, and even more serious, they will be world-weary and commit suicide. Loneliness is common among young officers and men. This is because the psychological characteristics of young people make them easy to be lonely. Young people are in a quasi-mature state in the process of life development, with childlike innocence and ignorance, and their world outlook and outlook on life have just begun to be established. They think that when they grow up, they often feel wronged because they are not understood, and they have an inexplicable sense of loneliness. Lack of enthusiasm for career is also one of the reasons for loneliness. A person with a strong sense of career will generally not feel lonely. Officers and men who truly love army life, devote themselves to education and training, study military knowledge and skills hard, and pursue something in their careers will not feel lonely. Introverts tend to be lonely. This is because they have a strong sense of self-centeredness and a strong sense of resistance in their hearts. They are often indifferent to external things and people around them, difficult to get along with others, and like to close themselves in a narrow world, so they feel deeply lonely.
To eliminate loneliness, we should pay attention to the following points:
1, establish a firm dedication. A person who knows that he lives to do something will not feel lonely; Similarly, a person who lives with love and pursuit is not afraid of loneliness. Soldiers stationed in frontier posts and islands, observers who have worked in alpine meteorological observation stations for a long time, are far away from their comrades-in-arms and have few opportunities to communicate with the outside world, but they have a strong sense of responsibility and persistent dedication to their work. Although they are lonely, they are not lonely.
2. Cultivate healthy interests. A healthy interest in life is the most effective way to eliminate loneliness. In addition to education and training, active study, concentration on a subject, or learning civil technology, or keeping a diary, listening to music, practicing calligraphy, and spiritual enrichment are conducive to eliminating loneliness.
3. Participate in group activities. The company's collective activities are rich and colorful, which provides many opportunities for officers and men to communicate with each other. They can be close to everyone, confide in each other, help others enthusiastically, and enjoy and experience the warmth and friendship of the group.
4. Change the self-closing character. Lonely and closed character is gradually formed through repeated reinforcement in the living environment. Young officers and men with self-enclosed personalities are narrow-minded, lofty and aloof, lacking in transparency in their hearts and hidden in their psychological activities, which outsiders find mysterious. These personalities will become obstacles to their integration into the collective. Therefore, we should guide young officers and men to overcome arrogance, increase psychological transparency, actively communicate with others with an open mind, absorb the strengths of others, and enjoy and appreciate the happiness brought by family ties and exchanges among comrades.
Fourth, overcome jealousy.
Jealousy refers to an emotional experience when you realize that your possession of a certain interest or sense of possession is threatened by reality or potential.
An important reason for jealousy is that one's needs are not met. Secondly, it is easy to be jealous when comparing with others to determine their own value. If the proportion of others' value increases, they will feel that their value is declining, resulting in a very painful emotional experience. Especially when the object of comparison is neck and neck with oneself or inferior to oneself, this kind of emotion can easily turn into dissatisfaction or jealousy to others, which is manifested by not finding the other person from the opposite position in behavior, or thinking that the other person's success is only due to external reasons, and achieving a temporary self-psychological balance by slandering the other person. Even if you don't show the above behavior, in order to maintain the defensive psychology of "self-esteem", the relaxed and unrestrained communication atmosphere will become tense. There are countless examples of interpersonal alienation, tension and even conflict caused by jealousy. In the whole process of jealousy, jealous people's own emotions have been in conflict and strong emotional experience.
In fact, jealousy is a common emotion of human beings. The key lies in how you look at it, treat it and let it transform in which direction. Slight jealousy makes people aware of a kind of pressure, produces a kind of motivation to learn from and catch up with those who surpass, and urges people to struggle and forge ahead. We should turn the negative psychology of jealousy into the positive psychology of competition, that is, guide the unconvinced psychology to the positive side, sublimate it into the competitive psychology, and use our own advantages to overcome each other's disadvantages. However, if you face the anxiety and hostility caused by jealousy, don't catch up, don't believe in your own ability and perseverance, and don't reflect on yourself, instead, you feel that others embarrass you, cause pain, and even make offensive words and deeds to others, which will become an obstacle to personal growth and interpersonal communication, and even lead to serious human tragedy.
To overcome jealousy, we must first fully understand the harmfulness of jealousy. Jealousy is a corrosive agent of social life, corrupting people's quality, damaging people's career and image, and also damaging people's physical and mental health. We should start with overcoming extremes and enhancing self-confidence. Try to have a comprehensive attitude towards people, try not to be disturbed by personal feelings and emotions, and believe that you have the ability to catch up with your opponents. Secondly, we should adjust the way of confirming self-worth. Research shows that the more self-worth is confirmed, the more inclined it is to social standards (through people around you, popular ideas in society, etc.). ), the more likely it is to cause jealousy; The more inclined you are to internal standards (based on your own thinking and internal standards), the less jealous you will be. Simply comparing with others will often lead to one-sided views. There are many aspects that can reflect personal value, and everyone has different advantages and disadvantages. For example, A soldier has a good military quality, B soldier has a wide range of interests, this soldier is clever, and that soldier is steady, etc., each with its own characteristics and strengths. Therefore, it is unscientific and inaccurate to use a unified standard to measure people's value. A person who is too busy with work and pursuit has no time to envy others. The purpose of living is not to cling to others, nor is it just to surpass others. It is very important in life to constantly surpass yourself and overcome yourself.
In addition, we should not only reduce our own jealousy in communication, but also learn to dispel the jealousy of others. When interacting with comrades-in-arms, don't always talk about what you are proud of, and don't exaggerate your achievements too much, especially in front of dissatisfied people and people who are not as good as yourself, but also adopt a modest and cautious attitude. Sometimes we should consciously expose some of our own shortcomings and distress to avoid causing psychological imbalance of others, so as to win more friends. If we can sincerely help others and enjoy honor and happiness with others, we can achieve higher ideals.