Looking back on my past 20 years, my previous life, I feel bad. This kind of bad, and material relations, not big. More spiritual.
I was very happy when I was young. I think my childhood ended from the moment my sister was born. Because I watched my mother coaxing my sister very hard, I became an adult at home. Help my mother wash clothes, cook and look after my sister.
More often, it may be that living is very depressing. Because at that time, the pressure of life at home was relatively high, and I felt that my mother had to do housework and take care of our two children, so my mother would have a big temper. I was afraid of making her angry, so at that time, I was careful every day, thinking about doing something to make my mother happy.
Besides, my sister and I are nine years old. I haven't had a quiet study environment since she was born. I am a quiet person, I hate being disturbed, but when I was growing up, I was constantly disturbed by my sister, but I was helpless.
When I was in junior high school, I was going to live away from home, and then I went to school in the town. Accommodation and accommodation were poor, and there was pressure for further study at that time. I have more pressure to study every day, and I can't go with nutrition. Accommodation is simple, the rest is not good.
In junior high school, I was quite lonely. I can only go home once a week, and I haven't told my parents about my study. If I did, they wouldn't understand and didn't cause them any trouble. I'm not the best at studying in class. I'm in the top three in every exam, but the teacher doesn't seem to care much about me. Looking back now, it may be the reason why the family didn't give the teacher a gift. At that time, we were still in the countryside, and our parents knew nothing about it.
In short, when I was in junior high school, I was under great pressure to study, and I couldn't eat and live well. No one could understand me, so I was very unhappy.
In high school, the pressure is even greater than death. Because I did well in the senior high school entrance examination, I was admitted to the key classes of key high schools in the county. The students in the key classes all study well. Being with them is very, very stressful. That is to study hard every day, but in the end, I was in the bottom ten of the class.
Every day in high school, the pressure is killing me. That kind of depression and inferiority will make a person suffocate. Now that I think about it, I really don't know how I got through these years.
What you learn is also something that a person has to deal with. At that time, the conditions at home were not good and I couldn't afford a makeup teacher. There is no problem that all kinds of famous teachers can't learn online now, so they can only rely on their own constant exploration and learning.
High school teachers give lectures quickly. Basically, they don't understand every subject. They teach themselves after class. In this way, a person finished high school. During this period, he was not only under great psychological pressure, but also had many physical problems. He also went to see a doctor alone and bought medicine alone. Think about this lonely day, everyone is fighting alone.
Finally, when I arrived at the university, I had more free time to study. I found myself a person with very low self-esteem and depression, a person with extremely low self-esteem and extremely depressed inner pain. I keep reading and exploring my heart. Slowly, I found that my inferiority and depression came from the influence of my family on the one hand, and the environment in which I went to school on the other.
Because my parents are people who live in extreme inferiority, it is difficult to see happiness in their faces. I grew up in such a home and naturally became like them. Coupled with the poor conditions at home, I went out to study by myself. After all, I was a child at that time. I rely on my inner strength to fight all this. My strength is weak after all, so I live in pain.
And I was never encouraged when I was growing up. Most of my parents say that I am not as good as a child, and the teacher also says that I am not smart. I once doubted my IQ, and even felt inferior to anyone. So I live without energy. Facing this world, I am more afraid. There are also inner entanglements, which I want in my heart, but I feel inferior and afraid. This feeling is too painful.
Fortunately, from college to work for nearly 10 years, I have been studying, getting to know people and learning and growing. I got rid of my inferiority complex, bid farewell to my unhappy self and rediscovered myself.
A young man in a small town needs 10 years to get rid of his inferiority complex and 10 years to build up his self-confidence. I have experienced a lot in the past ten years. 10 years, it can be said that I have changed a lot. I changed myself, and I became better and smarter. Although the process of this change is difficult, it is not easy and takes a lot of time. But I still groped alone and changed myself, even earth-shaking changes. Because I have experienced too much suffering in the past, I live in an emotional state, and I live without myself. In the face of this world, I always cringe.
Now my heart has become more stable and peaceful, and it has become brighter and more sunny. I hope I can live more brilliantly in the future.
Another year, looking forward to the future and recalling the past. Think about past sufferings and look at today's achievements. Past experiences have made me who I am today. Today's self will also create a better tomorrow.
I want to live for myself for the rest of my life. For the rest of your life, you should stride forward, be honest with each other, love yourself, love life and cherish time!
Life is short. Say goodbye to the bad past, stop being a "scavenger", but boldly move forward and become a "pioneer" in your own life! ! !
Life must be lived for yourself. We just want to show what kind of people we are, and we are the most unique ourselves. Reconciliation with yourself, reconciliation with past sufferings, calm struggle, harvest a better self and a better future.
In the new year, come on, work harder for the rest of your life and live for yourself.