Many parents will feel that their children are becoming more and more "disobedient" after they are ten years old. Many times they are out of control or always deliberately go against their wishes.
To tell the truth, the original well-behaved child suddenly became rebellious, and almost no parents could accept it. Therefore, conflicts with children are common, and even serious family education problems may be caused by improper handling.
In fact, adolescence is the most difficult time for the whole family. At this time, it is catching up with the mother's menopause. How can there be no contradiction between the two sides?
But to solve this problem, parents must first calm down and guide their children back to the right path in the right way.
My son has always been a good boy who listens to his mother, but after he entered junior high school, his mother suddenly found that his child became unwilling to communicate with himself, and his academic performance dropped from the top to the middle level.
This makes it difficult for the mother who has always been proud of her son to accept it. For this reason, the quarrel between mother and son continued, and the cold war continued, which eventually led to the son running away from home.
The child is still sensible, but he went to his classmate's house for one night without any misfortune or accident. However, this incident was a great blow to my mother. Instead of continuing to blame her son, she began to reflect on why the child changed so much, as if she had become a different person.
After reading a lot of family education materials, she began to understand that the child's adolescence was rebellious, and she did not change the educational methods with the child's psychological changes, which led to the tension between mother and child.
Change begins with a correct understanding. After that, she tried to have an in-depth and frank communication with her son, because the advice of education experts is: to change the status quo, we must first find out what the children think.
It turns out that the son's dissatisfaction and resistance to his mother has a long history. Since childhood, my son's study and life have been arranged by his mother alone. When he never asked his son for advice, a strong mother always thought that he was providing her son with the best life.
After entering junior high school, the mother rejected her son's idea of living on campus, hoping to continue to maintain excellent academic performance under her care and supervision. Unexpectedly, this deeply hurt the child's heart and ignited a fire for the mother-child relationship that buried the invisible bomb.
As long as the son is not facing the book, the mother thinks he is lazy and doesn't study. In this way, communication was blocked and the contradiction deepened, which led to the complete collapse of the son and his departure from home.
In fact, the boy is relaxing his intense study by watching mobile phones and English movies. He is improving his English imperceptibly. Obviously, his mother doesn't know or understand this learning method.
When one contradiction after another was solved, the mother and son finally stopped being angry. But this mother knows that she still has a lot of knowledge to learn.
Under the guidance of a psychology teacher, she began to change her role relationship with her son, who is not her own accessory, but her own "customer".
In this way, you can treat your son as an independent individual and get along with yourself on an equal footing, so that your attitude is no longer tough and you will ask for and respect your son's opinions and suggestions in everything.
Communication is harmonious, and all the results are satisfactory.
This case of mother's wits and wits with adolescent children also tells us that when children are customers, mothers are kind and filial, and don't stay in the previous education model forever.
Many parents, like this middle-aged mother, want to hold their children in their hands all the time, listen to their "harsh advice", follow their "right path", and go straight to success without detours.
However, such a strong educational method is a "disregard" for the "rebellious" period of adolescence.
In adolescence, children change not only their tall figure, but also their more mature psychology and independent personality. Children will make their own judgments on many things and begin to have their own opinions, which is an inevitable process for a person to grow and mature.
If parents still force their children to live according to their own ideas, it will not only hinder their mental maturity, but also lead to difficulties in family education and even lead to more serious rebellious behavior.
While parents are happy for their children's healthy growth, they should also be happy for their children to learn to be their own masters. A more mature mind is learning to adapt to society independently, which is far more gratifying and proud than being strong.