Yu Shu, a best-selling author of psychology, used a whole book Murphy's Law to explain some practical functions of psychology. Shu Yu is also a well-known knowledge sharing blogger. He once participated in the editing of "China Network Literature Watch List" and served as executive deputy editor. 20 18 served as the executive deputy editor of China Internet Literature IP Value Forum, and participated in projects such as "The First China Internet Literature TOP 100". Weibo's book-pushing account is "pushed all over the world", with hundreds of thousands of fans and is deeply loved by fans.
In the book Murphy's Law, the author tells us some profound theoretical knowledge from psychologists' experiments, real story cases and some easy-to-understand introductions. Then combine the current hot spots or the knowledge that fits people's life, communication, work and feelings, and teach us how to apply it in a simple way, so that we can understand how those interesting psychological effects help us.
Murphy's Law is a collection of 56 psychological effects closely related to our lives, such as Murphy's Law, Frame Effect, Hedgehog Rule, Sunken Cost Effect, Hercules Effect, Responsibility Diffusion, Spotlight Effect, etc.
Let's take a closer look at several psychological effects that you have to know in life.
The first knowledge about psychology-Murphy's Law.
I have often heard these four words before, but I know almost nothing about their true meaning and how to apply them. This time, by reading the book Murphy's Law, I learned. So here's the thing.
Some things are just strange. For example, when I was in school, I was afraid of being called by the teacher if I couldn't attend class. I lay down a little on purpose, but I was noticed by the teacher. Murphy's law is such a magical thing. Things tend to go in the direction you think is bad. Simply put, the more you are afraid, the easier it is to come. This is Murphy's law.
Where does Murphy's Law come from?
1949, an air force captain named eddie murphy was ordered to take part in the rocket deceleration overweight experiment, and the most feared thing in the experiment was that there were mistakes. However, it was completely unexpected that someone installed all the 16 accelerators in the wrong position. Murphy lamented: "If something is likely to go bad, it will go bad if you let him do it." Well, his sentence was written down and evolved into Murphy's law.
How to avoid it? Nothing is as simple as it seems. We can't take any chances. We need to preset various influencing factors in advance, consider all aspects, start with the details, and make emergency plans.
The second is related to social relations-the dispersion of responsibilities.
When talking about the spread of responsibility, the author combines practical cases. Let us know that this is important to everyone.
20 1 1, 10 On June 3rd, the "Little Yue Yue Incident" shocked the whole country. A girl was run over by a car, and 7 minutes 18 passers-by passed by, but turned a blind eye. The girl died after being rescued by a doctor. I still remember the sadness of seeing that video.
Some time ago, a 9-year-old boy was killed in Changsha. There are many people at the scene, but if one person makes a move, the tragedy may be contained, and the child is still a living child.
However, they all chose to ignore it and watched the child collapse to the ground, completely losing his vital signs. These indifferent behaviors reflect the psychological diffusion of responsibility. A man did what he was asked to do.
If a group is required to complete the task together, the responsibility for completing the task will be shared equally with everyone, thus weakening the sense of personal responsibility in this group and making each individual subconsciously want to shirk and evade the task. Just like one monk carrying water to drink, three monks have no water to drink.
So how to deal with it? If you need help badly, you'd better direct your appeal for help to one person instead of calling for help from everyone around you. Assign tasks to a fixed person in charge to prevent multiple people from shirking each other.
The third is closely related to our own psychology-spotlight effect.
This is totally a way to teach you how to be thick-skinned.
One day, I put my clothes on backwards, and I felt very uncomfortable. Look at the label exposed outside. It's really embarrassing.
I wonder if others will laugh at me: "Look at that man, his clothes are on backwards, hahaha." On the other hand, I can't take it off in the street. It's really hard. I've been scratching my heart all morning, so I'll change it when I get home. But think about it, it seems that no one else has found it except myself. Then didn't I feel miserable all morning for nothing?
Life is always like this, there are many things that you care about very much, and maybe people around you don't notice them at all. This is the spotlight effect in psychology. People always overestimate others' attention to their behavior, appearance and manners.
In fact, people don't care that much. What you wore today, what you did, and even what you were embarrassed about, others may not notice at all, and even if you see it, you will soon forget it. So, be bold, relax, be thick-skinned and live a more relaxed and happy life.
The fourth is related to our way of thinking-stereotype effect.
I saw a video the other day. A man on the roadside groaned at a woman's fists and knees, and the man wanted to put her in the trunk of the car. After being recorded and posted online, many comments made people stunned. Someone inferred from the video that this woman must be a "gold digger", that car must be that man, and she definitely deserved to be beaten by a man. What verdict did they pass?
They may have seen or heard that some women care more about money and material things and think that all girls are like that. This reflects the psychological set effect. As Murphy's law says, "Only when you know the general situation, it is easy to generalize".
People often judge things according to old cognition, which is difficult to change. Sometimes, do you think what you think is what you think? Not exactly. As the woman who was beaten in the video said: This BMW is mine, and I didn't call the police when I was threatened. And posted on their own car driving license, those who reacted rigidly and blamed blindly were hit by the facts.
Therefore, when we think about problems or express opinions, we should still pay attention to facts, understand facts and respect facts. Only on this basis can we think correctly. Instead of judging subjectively according to your own memory.
The fifth is related to getting along with people-the south wind effect.
A mother got on the bus with her five-year-old daughter. Looking at the full bus, the mother and daughter had to stand next to a young man. Young people have to pretend to sleep in order not to give up their seats. The daughter said, "Mom, I'm so tired. Why doesn't this uncle give us his seat? " Others also set their eyes on the young people next to them.
This young man must be super embarrassed. I only heard my mother say, "Uncle was too tired to work and fell asleep. When he wakes up, he will definitely give it to you. " At the next stop, the young man pretended to have just woken up. Gave up her seat to the little girl. The little girl said, "Thank you, uncle, for your hard work."
There are often contradictions in grabbing seats on the bus. In fact, if you change your mind and solve the problem in another way, the result may be very different.
This is the south wind effect in Murphy's law. When you face a thing and the people inside, your attitude determines the attitude of the other person, which in turn determines the final result of the thing. Sometimes a cold and hard attitude can solve problems better than a warm attitude. So the south wind effect is also called the law of warmth.
The sixth is related to everyone's growth-delayed gratification effect.
Some time ago, a couple in Pingdingshan, Henan Province went on a hot search. My wife was doing beauty treatment, and my husband cried when he found out. It's really embarrassing. It turned out that my wife bought all kinds of beauty items and corsets, and spent more than 200 thousand.
This irrational behavior of paying for desire has also been staged in many college students. There are not one or two cases in which all kinds of software with IOUs make them spend more money than they can afford to jump off a building. Is it really worth dying for a temporary desire or face?
In the face of temptation, they are more able to control and regulate their behavior and restrain their inner impulses. This is the delayed gratification effect mentioned in Murphy's law, in which the famous marshmallow experiment is mentioned.
The researchers put snacks, candy or chocolate on the table. If the researcher comes back in fifteen minutes, whoever doesn't eat candy will get double reward. After follow-up study, it is found that children who can persist in waiting have stronger self-control, stronger social competitiveness and higher learning and work efficiency.
Candy is very attractive to children. 30% of the children can't resist the temptation and will eat it in 15 minutes, regardless of the reward or not. It is also difficult for adults to control many desires. They don't know that if they delay satisfaction, they will be reckless and cause irreparable tragedy.
Therefore, we should stay away from temptation, consciously cultivate our self-control, improve our ability to delay gratification, make a long-term life plan, start with small goals, cultivate self-discipline and concentrate on the present. You can set some rewards for yourself when you finish, and satisfy yourself by getting rewards for achieving your goals.
There are many other psychological theories evolved from life phenomena in the book. Although it is a theory, it becomes easy to understand after the author's explanation. Through the analysis of psychologists and understanding the principle, we can let go of our anxiety and tension and be normal about many things. This is a book that can be read at any time. Calm down, use the theory in the book to taste the bits and pieces of life, learn from it and guide life.
On the fast-paced growth road, there will always be some bumps. You might as well stop and examine your psychology, give it more time and space, and be a mentally healthy person. And a stable and healthy psychology also needs us to learn to reconcile with ourselves and learn more about the underlying logic of human psychology, which is helpful to our lives.