? How to do a good job in mental health education for the baby at the age of 4.

When the child is one year old, he grabs the child's toys because he thinks what he sees is his own; At the age of two, he refused to let others play with his car because he didn't know how to share. When he was three years old, he often said "no" because he wanted to make his own decisions. But when he is four years old, he should make stricter rules to let him know what is right, what is wrong, what can and can't be done.

We generally believe that Americans are more tolerant of their children, but in a recent survey, 80% of the respondents thought that parents are too laissez-faire to their children now, and 40% hoped that they would be more "strict".

As children grow older, stricter rules of behavior will gradually increase. We have become more and more understanding and respect for children, and our attitude towards children has become more and more tolerant and open. We no longer decide everything for children, but provide them with the opportunity to make their own choices; It will be better for children to have rules to follow and learn to be clearly responsible for their actions. Children who are not disciplined will become too self-concerned, selfish and unhappy-and will also make people around them suffer. Some scholars have also found through research that parents are caring and authoritative, and have support and restrictions on their children. The children they educate tend to study well, socialize smoothly and feel good about themselves. Generally speaking, they are happier than those children who are educated by parents who are either too loose or too strict.

Why are parents more willing to be tolerant of their children?

Parents are very sensitive to their children's emotions, and they are worried that teaching their children too often or saying "no" will cause psychological trauma to their children. In addition, parents nowadays often cherish their relationship with their children and hope to get their love and respect. It seems hard for many people to accept the fact that once they become parents, sometimes they will inevitably be unpopular. In addition, the final reason may be simple: we spoil our children simply because we have too little time. After all, most mothers are professional women, and stay-at-home mothers are busier than ever. Who wants to spend such limited time on banning and punishing children?

However, the survey found that the longer children break the rules, the more indulgent their parents will be, which is harmful to either party. For example, a mother asked her 6-year-old son to clean his room. But children don't listen, and noisy people just don't do it. This confrontation must be unpleasant, so mother had to stop talking about it to get calm. But her behavior is actually telling the child that he can do whatever he wants as long as he continues fooling around. In this way, children learned how to make adults helpless.