Psychological common sense that must be known
1, the law of quick wit
One of Napoleon's soldiers fell into the water and fluttered in it. None of the soldiers nearby can swim, so why worry?
When Napoleon learned that the drowning soldier could swim a little, he picked up his gun and said to the drowning soldier, Come here at once, or I will shoot you. After that, he fired several shots at the drowning soldier. As soon as the soldiers saw the Fuehrer and were afraid of being hit, they swam quickly. Finally, the soldier was saved. Then there is the well-known story of Sima Guang smashing a jar.
2. Law of interest
There is a detective movie, which is very popular, because it is not until the end that we know who the murderer is. Someone bought a movie ticket at a high price and watched it in the box. At this point, the waiter served diligently in an attempt to obtain consumption. However, he reprimanded the waiter intently.
Finally, in order to get back at him, the waiter pointed to the screen and said, "See that gardener? He is the murderer. "
As a result, the gentleman was not interested and could not continue reading.
3. Rebellious complex
There is a housewife program abroad. When the housewife tells her husband's evil deeds, if the host says, "How can such a person be with him?"? Get a divorce quickly. "
At this time, the housewife hesitated and refused to mention the word divorce.
A university wrote "No graffiti" and "Please don't graffiti" in the men's restroom, but found that the restroom written "No graffiti" was very serious.
4. Bystander effect
When there is a car accident, when someone suddenly fainted, when someone was robbed, many people were indifferent.
These phenomena not only make people pay attention to it from the moral point of view, but also condemn the indifferent spectators. At the same time, it has also attracted the attention of psychologists. According to psychological analysis, this is a "bystander effect".
Psychologists Latanai and Dali did many experiments to study it in the 1970s. It is found that in an emergency, as long as others are present, the altruistic behavior of individuals to help others will decrease. Moreover, the more bystanders, the higher the degree of altruistic behavior reduction, which is the so-called "bystander effect". It is also the most common indifference.
Maybe if I don't go, someone else will.
5. Best potential.
Yan Yuan once asked Confucius for advice, saying that a boatman's sailing skills were mysterious. So Yan Yuan asked the ferryman, "Can others master your sailing skills?" The answer is yes, and Gong Li also said: "People who are good at swimming can learn it through practice, and people who can dive can operate freely even if they touch the boat from the outside." Yan Yuan didn't understand what the ferryman said, so he came to ask Confucius.
Confucius said, "A good swimmer is not afraid of water. He has no fear of sailing and his mood is completely relaxed. " People who are good at diving regard land and water as the same thing, and take capsizing more seriously. Therefore, even if you have never sailed, you can operate freely and leisurely. "
Confucius also made a metaphor People who participate in gambling often win by betting on tiles; Have some scruples about using clothes; If you bet on gold, you will worry a lot and lose money. With the burden, skills are more difficult to play and easier to lose.
A philosophical attitude towards the result, a relaxed attitude, will show a high level.
Psychologists believe that a relaxed state is most conducive to stimulating people's psychological potential.
A person in a completely relaxed and energetic mental state has the strongest memory, the best thinking ability and the most complete potential.
6. Emotional catharsis
Late one night, Mr. Zhao received a phone call from a strange woman, telling in one breath how hard he had to take care of children and sick old people, while her husband thought he was enjoying himself. My husband won't let me go out if he wants me to, but he often goes out under the pretext of socializing.
Finally, Mr Zhao told her that the number was wrong. Unexpectedly, the woman said, "I know, but I finally said this." Much better. I'm sorry to bother you. "
If a person's feelings can't be vented in time and kept in his heart, they will flood like a flood one day!
But venting should also go through normal channels, just like a pressure cooker. On the one hand, we should vent properly, on the other hand, we should also cook well.
Also, when venting, try not to blame others, and don't rely on complaining to gain sympathy from others. Try to transfer to another thing that is harmless to anyone by listening to music, doing sports, keeping a diary, talking to yourself, etc.
7. The power of expectation
Story:
During the Warring States Period, former Prime Minister Guan Zhong was in charge of escorting prisoners before becoming prime minister. But unlike other escorts, he asked the prisoners to arrange their trips according to their own preferences, as long as they arrived at their destinations on the scheduled date. As a result, none of the prisoners escaped halfway, but all arrived at their destinations as scheduled.
Psychoanalysis:
What is the reason? What psychology makes people who are used to doing evil automatically give up evil deeds and abandon evil for good without supervision?
This is the power of expectation.
Educational application:
This is the "pygmalion effect" that we often hear in education.
8. The Law of Aversion Psychology
Aversion is a sign of advanced animals.
Many times, things we hate are often things that are not good for ourselves or others, and we should not do them. For example, we all instinctively hate lying, but for some benefit, we may go against our nature.
If you often do things with bad conduct that you hate, you will have a bad attitude. And sometimes we are eager to help others, suffer in time, and feel happy because of our inner satisfaction.
9, the big stick law.
In education, it is also an irreplaceable and very effective method in some cases.
Drinking in the bar here can be understood as disciplinary action and serious criticism, and it is a sudden punishment and punishment for students who are addicted to mistakes.
This is precisely because of its suddenness, which gives students a sense of shock and may make them wake up, leave a deep impression and correct their mistakes.
However, strong stimulus must pay attention to timely, suitable people and suitable places. The purpose of punishment is education, and students must be made aware of the problems and experience the love, kindness and respect of teachers. And the punishment should be reasonable, fair and accurate. We should avoid that kind of subjective, arbitrary and arbitrary punishment.
10, emotional law * * *
Story: The story of being besieged.
At the end of the Chu-Han dispute, Sean played a sad Chu song with a flute on Pengcheng Mountain. As a result, many soldiers in Xiang Yu's camp were infected by singing and would rather surrender than save their lives. As a result, some soldiers fled, and some were distracted, which led to Xiang Yu's defeat and suicide.
Psychoanalysis:
In fact, Sean unconsciously applied the psychological principle of human "emotional singing".
Modern psychology points out that under the external stimulus, a person's internal state and external performance of emotions and emotions can influence and infect others. Under the influence and infection of an emotion, the same or similar emotional response is called emotional ringing.
Application:
The appeal of artistic works is mostly composed of emotional sounds.
We can also use this rule to treat some mental diseases.
1 1, dominance effect
In group communication, men prefer close women, and women have a good impression on close men.
When residents socialize, the living distance is often the main factor affecting social objects. The closer you get, the easier it is to have contacts.
There is no love and hate for no reason in the world.
12, the law of money destruction
Story:
There was a painter who was obsessed with his own creation before he became famous and regarded the workshop as his happiest thing. Hard work pays off! One day, he suddenly became famous all over the world, and one of his paintings could sell for hundreds of thousands.
However, since then, somehow, when he was creating, he always subconsciously considered whether the painting could be accepted by the viewer. In this way, painting has become a bondage to him and can't bring him as much happiness as before.
Personal experience:
Sometimes, we hope to get economic returns, but when we get economic returns, we often have the psychology of "doing things with money". We have little fun at work.
Also, when dealing with students' problems, if we often think about whether this will affect the performance of the class, we will often worry a lot and make wrong decisions.
Application:
Some people use this theory to treat children's internet addiction. There is a reward for surfing the internet for 5 hours in a row, and a punishment for less than 5 hours. Finally, children play for rewards, and lose the fun of online games, so they don't play. I don't know if it's feasible. Never practiced.
13, sub-health state
People's psychology has an influence on health. Being in a negative mood for a long time will make people decadent, lose interest in work and life, and even worsen their physical condition.
Positive emotions can play a good role in promoting human life activities and enhancing immunity.
The law of loneliness and emptiness
Loneliness is similar to expectation to some extent. People who have no expectations will not be lonely. Generally, seriously ill patients are not lonely, and patients who are recovering are often more likely to be lonely.
The richer a person's inner world is, the less lonely he will feel. Therefore, people with rich hearts are generally more prone to conceit.
We see many scientists forget their work and do research alone. They don't feel lonely. This is because he devoted himself to his work and felt happy.
Psychologists also found that loneliness is harmful to human immune system. We should take the initiative to contact others and cultivate more hobbies.
15, impulsive disaster
Impulsive people are easily dominated by subjective factors, and measure things by emotions, so they can't really go deep into the essence of things, so they can't draw correct ideas and theories, and their thinking is one-sided.
The restraint of impulse and rational behavior comes from one's knowledge and self-control. People with high knowledge and deep insight are generally good at thinking and can distinguish the essence of things.
However, when we say that we are against sentimentality, we are not advocating no feelings. Shakespeare famously said, "People are unhappy because they use emotion when they should use reason, but they use reason when they should use emotion."
16, a promise is as good as a promise.
A mature person will not easily joke about his reputation.
17, the law of helping others
Generally speaking, people in a good mood are more likely to help others. Therefore, many people ask for help when others are in a good mood.
18, compensatory behavior
When people encounter insurmountable obstacles, they often give up their initial goals and seek to satisfy their wishes by achieving similar goals. This practice is called compensatory behavior.
19, sour grape law
If you can't get it, it's definitely not good!
20, "skin hunger" phenomenon
"skin hunger" phenomenon
2 1, Emotion and Health
Emotion will affect health.