Refuse to be an "dissatisfied wife"
In the face of the threat of "mistresses", the parties concerned must not be dissatisfied women first!
First of all, women are often in a weak position in marriage. Entering marriage, both husband and wife will not have "aesthetic fatigue", which is called habituation, that is, the excitement is reduced due to the repeated presentation of * * * *. Women are faced with problems such as housework and raising children, and their careers will be hindered to varying degrees, while men's career development is mostly undisturbed. Women's economic dependence on men makes it easier for women to become passive in marriage.
Secondly, women are more likely to lose themselves in marriage than men. Many women can't help but regard their partner as the most important person in their lives, so they give up on themselves. Therefore, when the other side of the marriage is found to be cheating, women will feel more anxious and depressed than men. Especially when a woman thinks that her efforts and compromises have not been rewarded, she is prone to resentment. This is manifested in refusal to communicate, self-abandonment, and even self-destruction, such as suicide.
The emergence of "anti-mistress alliance" will make women whose marriage is threatened adjust their mentality and reduce the harm that "mistress" brings to themselves and their family life. In fact, the founder hopes that the alliance can "let the sun shine into the dark corner and help the victims out of the shadows." They particularly emphasized that "anti-mistress" is not to escape the appearance of mistress, but to "delete" mistress from her own life, refuse to be a dissatisfied wife and pursue personal happiness.
Psychological Function of Anti-minor League
In the face of the red light of marriage, many women choose forbearance, but they are depressed and indignant inside. Over time, it will inevitably bring great damage to the physical and mental health of individuals. The establishment of "Anti-Mistress Alliance" provides a psychological counseling platform for those who are troubled by "Mistress Problem".
First of all, the "anti-black alliance" can help women vent their hearts. The word purification comes from Greek and means purification. Psychoanalysis theory holds that catharsis can make people express inner contradictions and pains, relieve psychological pressure, relieve or eliminate tension and restore calm mood. Psychological catharsis is not equal to catharsis here. Venting is a planned and rational way to guide a person's thoughts and feelings, as well as desires and impulses. Venting is very primitive and blind. "Just like a city needs a trash can, if there is no trash can, how messy will the city be? When I first met Xiao San, I only had one thought: I wish someone could talk to me. However, no, now, it is also good to have a place where' dissatisfied women' can talk. " Xinya said.
Secondly, the "anti-black alliance" helps women sublimate their emotions. In psychology, subliming the individual means facing mental pain and taking some socially acceptable way to resolve it. For those who meet mistresses, the "anti-mistress alliance" does not require the parties to keep those broken marriages, but tries to find the most effective way to deal with them at the moment. In the words of volunteer Xiao Su, it is a principle that injured women encourage each other to "keep what should be kept and give up what should be put down". "Even if this man doesn't love you, we can still love ourselves and live a good life."
Thirdly, the "anti-black alliance" helps women gain mutual recognition in the alliance and form a social support system with * * *. In psychology, the role of identity is not simple imitation, but based on the assimilation of honor and disgrace. It can positively influence people's evaluation, attitude and behavior towards specific events. In fact, every woman who joins the alliance has a sour heart. Then, comforting one person's troubles will comfort everyone's troubles and find emotional support. This is extremely urgent and important for those women who have suffered emotional trauma.
Finally, the "anti-black alliance" can also help women better safeguard their rights. This in itself is a positive self-regulation and self-worth pursuit. In particular, helping each other in the form of groups will enable many third-year victims to find new ways to solve problems and new directions for self-development through mutual interaction. Psychologically, this actually plays the role of group therapy.
Some suggestions on "anti-small three alliances"
Finally, as a psychologist, I would like to make some suggestions to his organization:
First, seek guidance.
New entrants may have a lot of perceptual knowledge and harm. And the organizers of the alliance may not be able to give you good advice. Therefore, it is suggested that the organizers of the alliance seek professional guidance, hold salons or seminars regularly, and realize the deep-seated reasons behind the appearance of mistress in a rational level in order to calmly deal with the confusion they face. No matter how strong a woman is, she is sometimes fascinated by the authorities.
Second, strengthen exchanges.
The emergence of the "anti-black alliance" was by no means initiated by China. The "Maple Leaf Hotline" appeared in Beijing 20 years ago to provide a place for divorced women to communicate and release their hearts. Strengthening horizontal communication can make the organizers of the alliance absorb a lot of ready-made management experience and measures, so as to better play their purpose of holding meetings.
Third, provide recommendations.
Some marriage problems must be solved by professional intervention (such as family therapy). Therefore, the organizers of the alliance should take the initiative to get in touch with local psychological counseling institutions in order to provide convenience and guidance for those who are willing to receive professional guidance and treatment.
Fourth, the clever use of leverage.
Marriage is the most basic cell of society and the basic factor of social stability. In this way, every city and county has women's federations and other organizations, which can actually provide a lot of social resources and funds. Alliance organizers should try their best to link their work with this in order to win the necessary social attention and support. (Yue Xiaodong)