We have the instinct to protect ourselves, and we protect the "self" through various defense mechanisms, that is, the self-image we accept.
The problem is that when we protect ourselves from immediate harm, we will sacrifice long-term interests. In this process, we gradually become mature.
Anna Floyd focuses on ten main defense mechanisms.
0 1
deny
Denying means that we don't admit the existence of the problem.
For example, we will have the idea that I like drinking, and although I have a hangover occasionally, I can control myself.
If others force us to face up to the problem, our attitude will be very bad. This instinctive defense mechanism is only a moment, which means refusing to admit that we need to change.
02
throw
Through projection, people transfer some of their negative emotions to others.
For example, you may have a hunch that your lover will blame you for not earning as much as last year. But in fact, they may understand your difficulties. This despicable idea comes not from relatives, but from yourself, probably from your mother.
You have negative emotions, but you don't admit that these emotions come from yourself, but from others. This is the projection mechanism.
03
Turn to yourself.
This is a mechanism to escape from worse ideas by belittling yourself.
For example, try to escape the idea that the person you like doesn't love you. Anna Floyd realized that children often do this. Children who are abused by their parents usually have a self-deprecating idea and are unwilling to believe that their parents don't love themselves.
He may think, I must be useless, so my parents treat me like this. Only in this way can they believe that they still have their parents who already love them, and it is undoubtedly painful to think that they are useless, but for children's fragile hearts, this is far better than believing that parents don't care about themselves.
04
sublimate
Through sublimation, we express some unacceptable thoughts or emotions in a more noble way, usually about sex or violence.
Many artists, especially musicians.
Use sublimation to transform negative life experiences, such as drug abuse, social problems and family problems, into popular works of art for the public to enjoy. There is no doubt that sublimation is one of the best defense mechanisms.
05
degenerate
Anna Floyd believes that when we encounter difficulties, we will choose to retreat.
Take some childhood coping methods, that is, children often react to mistakes-avoiding responsibility. Children think that mistakes are always made by others, usually from their parents, and they should have the responsibility to correct them.
By returning, we regard ourselves as pure and innocent babies. The world is responsible for us, and they should solve the problem.
Anna noticed that many mentally sound adults also use the regression mechanism in the face of stress, which is normal, but it will be bad if it lasts too long.
06
Rationalize
Rationalization means that we find a seemingly clever excuse for our behavior or experience.
It makes us feel naive, kind and meaningful.
For example, when we are rejected in an interview, the rationalization mechanism will tell ourselves: this company is boring, and I didn't want this job in the first place. We may want this job very much, but it's really shameful to admit it to ourselves.
07
rationalize
Rationalization is similar to rationalization.
Feelings of loss, guilt, betrayal and anger when breaking up with your partner can be neutralized by thinking about other things, such as studying the history of the late Roman Empire or thinking about the advantages and disadvantages of the government raising interest rates.
Many scholars have done a lot of thinking, but they are also ashamed to use rational mechanisms, because their research results are of no help to the urgent problems at hand.
08
Reversal action
Countereffect means that our behavior is completely opposite to our initial intention.
For example, some people are sexually impulsive to teenagers and may join a religion that advocates abstinence for teenagers.
When we are teenagers, we often do the opposite. For example, we have a crush on a classmate, but we are mean and overbearing. We didn't admit that we liked it, just to avoid embarrassing situations.
09
transfer
Transfer means that we transfer our aggressive desires to others.
Usually choose weak targets. A typical example is that some people are reprimanded by their bosses at work and dare not resist, so they go home and vent their emotions on their relatives.
10
illusion
Through fantasy, we imagine that the problem does not exist, or separate ourselves from reality.
Common ways are daydreaming, reading literary works, or watching porn. In these happy times, we escaped from the cruel real world and found a little peace.