People with healthy self-esteem are full of confidence, and failure can't hit them. They are eager for self-improvement and progress. They think that they deserve every harvest in life. They are their own cheerleaders.
People with healthy self-esteem are people with internal drive. No matter what others think of them, they all agree with their own values. Even in the most helpless situation, healthy self-esteem can give them the courage to move forward.
Healthy self-esteem can help us manage stress and avoid self-destructive behavior to the greatest extent. They are not afraid of setbacks, and blows and setbacks make them stronger and stronger.
Self-esteem gives us the strength to act for our beliefs. Taking action requires faith, and no dream can be realized without taking the first step. But self-esteem not only means feeling good about yourself, but also requires responsible behavior advocated by R = TLC (responsibility = thinking, love and confidence). People solve problems by obtaining factual information, communicating with experts, analyzing possibilities and seeking strategies to realize their dreams. Self-confidence and good thinking are inseparable here.
Scientific research shows that children's experiences in the first few years of their lives are very important for their future psychological and cognitive development. Some children have healthy self-esteem, and some children have been looking for self-worth in pain all their lives. People's self-realization potential-finding their own advantages and carrying them forward in life-is usually decided early in life. The latest research shows that children's experiences before the age of three are the most important for their psychological development.
People who feel inferior can't see their own value and think they don't deserve to shine. In the early days of life, many people's self-esteem and self-confidence are not fully nourished, which leads them to live like walking dead all their lives. The reason for this tragedy may be that their parents or guardians did not realize the importance of letting their children discover their self-worth, and killed the seeds of self-esteem in the cradle.
They can't see that they can change their lives through choice. Driven by external factors, they think that they have no ability to control their own lives and can only passively accept their fate. They think they are irresistible victims, which is probably caused by their parents' autocratic upbringing. They think that when a door is closed to them, the whole life loses its possibility. They don't know that another door may be quietly opening to them.
How much pain a person with inferiority will experience in his life, and inferiority will be passed on to the next generation.
Self-esteem killer refers to words that belittle others' sense of self-worth. For example, a woman said that when she was a child, her father would always say, "If you put the photo face down under the mattress, you will definitely scare the mice." ..... Children who grow up in such an environment will subtly become the self-esteem killers of others. They may not realize this destructiveness. This self-esteem killer is a kind of verbal violence. Words are no less harmful to people than fists, and even more serious than physical injuries.
The "label" used by parents or guardians to describe children's personality will become an important factor in children's self-esteem and behavior. After all, when children tell them who they are, they don't judge and absorb them all. We must realize that our thoughts and feelings about ourselves will guide our behavior. In this way, the label becomes a self-fulfilling promise.
What kind of labels did your parents give you? Did their judgment on you finally become an attempt? Some parents claim that they will be very cautious when telling their children the "truth" because if the evaluation is too good, it may be unrealistic. In fact, this may be a very serious mistake, because "facts" need to be interpreted and affect our feelings at that time. Parents should be smart to find positive factors and watch their children become confident and respected people like their own evaluations.
Positive labels represent positive ways of thinking, such as charm, intelligence, wisdom, cleverness, humor, diligence, efficiency, quickness, neatness, orderliness, friendliness, extroversion, understanding, cuteness, happiness, politeness and dignified behavior. 、
Negative labels represent outdated ways of thinking, such as: ugly, stupid, silly, absurd, lazy, slow, inefficient, careless, sloppy, shy, withdrawn, naughty, misbehaving, spoiled, stupid donkey, stupid pig, annoying, annoying and ugly.
There is no doubt that a young child will always accept the evaluation of others. If we avoid using negative labels on them and recognize them when they show positive qualities, they are more likely to develop healthy self-esteem and firmly believe in their healthy nature.
The best way to cultivate a healthy child is to discover their advantages. The demand for respect put forward by Ma Si Noel is actually the demand for appreciation. Starting today, using this method at home, you will find that children are more and more active and happy, and their performance is getting better and better. If used on the other half, the family atmosphere will be more harmonious. If our parents do this, our children will soon find the advantages in their parents, and the family atmosphere will be reversed almost overnight. Parents do this in order to make their children become internal drivers. Motivation comes from what they can do and deserve, not from external drive.
Ex.: Huahua has serious problems in her study. She feels that she can't do anything well. Dad noticed this and began to spend more time with him. But Huahua is not interested in doing her homework at all. Dad tried to help him by discovering the advantages. He regards doing homework as a special time to get along with children. Dad didn't keep reminding Huahua of her spelling mistakes. He chose a different method. "Look, huahua, you spelled the word four letters right. Just move this letter this way to this position, and it will be spelled correctly. " It is such a small success that dad reversed Huahua's learning attitude and improved her self-esteem.
Error is different from failure. An important feature of successful people is that they are not afraid of making mistakes. Making mistakes means new learning opportunities. Defining "poor" as an opportunity to learn, not a failure, leads to completely different results. People have different endowments, and few people are excellent in all fields.
Everyone is not only born with value, but also has the right to be proud of himself. As far as human beings are concerned, this is also a breakthrough in concept. When children are most vulnerable and form self-concept, parents who lack self-esteem or positive attitude towards life hinder the healthy development of children's hearts and will have long-term and destructive effects.
In the process of children's growth, it is very important for self-respecting parents to set an example. Parents who are pessimistic about their success also need to adopt the method of "discovering advantages" for themselves. Do you remember the last time you applauded for doing a good job? Most of us need to praise ourselves and take care of our self-esteem. Say positive words to yourself every day, which is very beneficial to recognize yourself.
Self-esteem is very fragile, and even people with good self-esteem can't have a smooth life. Each of us will encounter many setbacks, which will hit our self-esteem.
The world-famous speaker Ziggy Ziegler once said, "Just because you took a shower doesn't mean you won't dirty yourself again. Self-esteem also needs our constant concern to ensure that it is clean and positive. There will be all kinds of' dirty things' polluting it in life.
Self-esteem is an important part of mental health. We have a responsibility to help each other be happy. By discovering the advantages of children and each other, we can build a fertile ground for spiritual prosperity and happiness!
Hello, I am a psychology major. Let me answer that. Self-esteem can be said to be one of our most important qualities.
First, an equal perspective. There is a clever saying in psychology. When we try to communicate with children, please kneel down and let them look straight. Because the world children see is different from the world we adults see. Just squat down and you'll understand. Therefore, the first consideration for children's self-esteem is whether they can be treated equally by us.
First, cultivate children's independence, especially after the prefrontal lobe of the 12-year-old brain is perfected, we should pay attention to the development of children's dialectical thinking and critical thinking. When children can plan themselves independently and take responsibility for themselves, they will lay a good foundation for self-esteem.
Second, treat children's mistakes correctly. We always criticize children when they don't behave well and don't meet expectations. I hope to correct the child's behavior through criticism. However, this effect will decrease with the growth of children's age, and even accelerate children's rebellious psychology. The correct way is that making mistakes is not terrible, and even making mistakes is an opportunity. Through the cognition of mistakes, parents cooperate with their children, and even if the children make mistakes many times, they are guaranteed to make progress every time. Try to avoid scolding and give some encouragement when appropriate.
Thirdly, there is a very important concept in psychology called social expectation, including parents' expectation and teachers' expectation. It means that children will change in the direction we expect them to develop. In other words, if our children are smart and studious, they can often do well.
Fourth, give children full affirmation and respect. Give them a certain space to observe the world, face some problems and disputes, think for themselves, get their own answers, and give them clever guidance to help children build their self-esteem.
The key to self-esteem is to let children truly realize the value of life and experience the dignity of life. Generally speaking, we will start from two aspects:
1, chasing from the outside. The key to seeking outside is to let children realize the beauty of life. Taking a child to experience the beautiful nature will make him feel how lucky he is to live on such a beautiful planet; Taking children through books and looking at the thoughts of sages, great men and ordinary people through the ages will make him feel the greatness and profundity hidden in people's hearts and make him feel lucky as a person. ...
2. Pursuit from the inside. The key to inner pursuit lies in introspection and practice. Help children observe their own hearts, feel their own behaviors and thoughts, encourage and support them to improve, and realize the sense of accomplishment and happiness of change, thus building self-confidence; Help children observe their deep feelings, experience the sincere love between relatives, experience the beauty of combing the harmonious distance with strangers, and experience the sense of accomplishment after changing society and helping others. ...
When a child has experienced and understood so much beauty and greatness, and felt and moved so much love and emotion, his understanding of life will naturally become higher, he will naturally pursue higher goals, and he will naturally have higher expectations and respect for himself.
I hope I can help you!
Simply put, look at reincarnation. What kind of parents? What kind of people do children usually learn? In other words, you can say it's the ratchet effect. First, children will imitate their caregivers. Of course, it is not just a simple imitation, but an imitation of the inner way of doing things. To give a simple example, many parents will choose to beat and scold their children in early childhood after repeated education. What children learn is not the truth you tell in the process of beating and cursing, but the way you deal with similar problems. When similar communication or language infusion is more difficult than expected. Children will choose more violent ways. This is why a bad-tempered parent hates this behavior after becoming a parent in his early years, and at the same time he subconsciously becomes like that.
The easiest way is to firmly maintain your self-esteem system, rather than trying to help children build a healthy self-esteem system.
Read a good book and meet Si Qi.
Help children build healthy self-esteem.
As parents, we should not only give our children a healthy body, but also help them develop a healthy mind. From 65438 to 0969, psychologist Nathaniel Brandon published his epoch-making book "Psychology of Self-esteem", and we really realized the importance of healthy self-esteem. He found that people suffering from anxiety, depression, neurosis, drug addiction and low sense of accomplishment in school and work all have a fundamental similarity: they all have only injured, inadequate or suppressed self-esteem.
What is healthy self-esteem?
Psychologist Brandon defines self-esteem as a psychological state of "feeling that you have the ability to cope with the challenges in life and that you deserve to be happy".
People with healthy self-esteem are full of confidence, and failure can't hit them. They are eager for self-improvement and progress. They think that they deserve every harvest in life. They are their own cheerleaders.
People with healthy self-esteem are people with internal drive. No matter what others think of them, they all agree with their own values. Even in the most helpless situation, healthy self-esteem can give them the courage to move forward.
Healthy self-esteem can help us manage stress and avoid self-destructive behavior to the greatest extent. They are not afraid of setbacks, and blows and setbacks make them stronger and stronger.
Self-esteem gives us the strength to act for our beliefs. Taking action requires faith, and no dream can be realized without taking the first step. But self-esteem not only means feeling good about yourself, but also requires responsible behavior advocated by R = TLC (responsibility = thinking, love and confidence). People solve problems by obtaining factual information, communicating with experts, analyzing possibilities and seeking strategies to realize their dreams. Self-confidence and good thinking are inseparable here.
◎ Build self-esteem
Scientific research shows that children's experiences in the first few years of their lives are very important for their future psychological and cognitive development. Some children have healthy self-esteem, and some children have been looking for self-worth in pain all their lives. People's self-realization potential-finding their own advantages and carrying them forward in life-is usually decided early in life. The latest research shows that children's experiences before the age of three are the most important for their psychological development.
What is inferiority complex?
People who feel inferior can't see their own value and think they don't deserve to shine. In the early days of life, many people's self-esteem and self-confidence are not fully nourished, which leads them to live like walking dead all their lives. The reason for this tragedy may be that their parents or guardians did not realize the importance of letting their children discover their self-worth, and killed the seeds of self-esteem in the cradle.
They can't see that they can change their lives through choice. Driven by external factors, they think that they have no ability to control their own lives and can only passively accept their fate. They think they are irresistible victims, which is probably caused by their parents' autocratic upbringing. They think that when a door is closed to them, the whole life loses its possibility. They don't know that another door may be quietly opening to them.
How much pain a person with inferiority will experience in his life, and inferiority will be passed on to the next generation.
Self-esteem killer
Self-esteem killer refers to words that belittle others' sense of self-worth. For example, a woman said that when she was a child, her father would always say, "If you put the photo face down under the mattress, you will definitely scare the mice." ..... Children who grow up in such an environment will subtly become the self-esteem killers of others. They may not realize this destructiveness. This self-esteem killer is a kind of verbal violence. Words are no less harmful to people than fists, and even more serious than physical injuries.
◎ "Label" becomes a reality
The "label" used by parents or guardians to describe children's personality will become an important factor in children's self-esteem and behavior. After all, when children tell them who they are, they don't judge and absorb them all. We must realize that our thoughts and feelings about ourselves will guide our behavior. In this way, the label becomes a self-fulfilling promise.
What kind of labels did your parents give you? Did their judgment on you finally become an attempt? Some parents claim that they will be very cautious when telling their children the "truth" because if the evaluation is too good, it may be unrealistic. In fact, this may be a very serious mistake, because "facts" need to be interpreted and affect our feelings at that time. Parents should be smart to find positive factors and watch their children become confident and respected people like their own evaluations.
Positive labels represent positive ways of thinking, such as charm, intelligence, wisdom, cleverness, humor, diligence, efficiency, quickness, neatness, orderliness, friendliness, extroversion, understanding, cuteness, happiness, politeness and dignified behavior. 、
Negative labels represent outdated ways of thinking, such as: ugly, stupid, silly, absurd, lazy, slow, inefficient, careless, sloppy, shy, withdrawn, naughty, misbehaving, spoiled, stupid donkey, stupid pig, annoying, annoying and ugly.
There is no doubt that a young child will always accept the evaluation of others. If we avoid using negative labels on them and recognize them when they show positive qualities, they are more likely to develop healthy self-esteem and firmly believe in their healthy nature.
Discover advantages.
The best way to cultivate a healthy child is to discover their advantages. The demand for respect put forward by Ma Si Noh is actually the demand for appreciation. Starting today, using this method at home, you will find that children are more and more active and happy, and their performance is getting better and better. If used on the other half, the family atmosphere will be more harmonious. If our parents do this, our children will soon find the advantages in their parents, and the family atmosphere will be reversed almost overnight. Parents do this in order to make their children become internal drivers. Motivation comes from what they can do and deserve, not from external drive.
Ex.: Huahua has serious problems in her study. She feels that she can't do anything well. Dad noticed this and began to spend more time with him. But Huahua is not interested in doing her homework at all. Dad tried to help him by discovering the advantages. He regards doing homework as a special time to get along with children. Dad didn't keep reminding Huahua of her spelling mistakes. He chose a different method. "Look, huahua, you spelled the word four letters right. Just move this letter this way to this position, and it will be spelled correctly. " It is such a small success that dad reversed Huahua's learning attitude and improved her self-esteem.
The value of making mistakes
Error is different from failure. An important feature of successful people is that they are not afraid of making mistakes. Making mistakes means new learning opportunities. Defining "poor" as an opportunity to learn, not a failure, leads to completely different results. People have different endowments, and few people are excellent in all fields.
◎ Build self-esteem
Everyone is not only born with value, but also has the right to be proud of himself. As far as human beings are concerned, this is also a breakthrough in concept. When children are most vulnerable and form self-concept, parents who lack self-esteem or positive attitude towards life hinder the healthy development of children's hearts and will have long-term and destructive effects.
Building self-esteem is a continuous process.
In the process of children's growth, it is very important for self-respecting parents to set an example. Parents who are pessimistic about their success also need to adopt the method of "discovering advantages" for themselves. Do you remember the last time you applauded for doing a good job? Most of us need to praise ourselves and take care of our self-esteem. Say positive words to yourself every day, which is very beneficial to recognize yourself.
Self-esteem is very fragile, and even people with good self-esteem can't have a smooth life. Each of us will encounter many setbacks, which will hit our self-esteem.
The world-famous speaker Ziggy Ziegler once said, "Just because you took a shower doesn't mean you won't dirty yourself again. Self-esteem also needs our constant concern to ensure that it is clean and positive. There will be all kinds of' dirty things' polluting it in life.
Self-esteem is an important part of mental health. We have a responsibility to help each other be happy. By discovering the advantages of children and each other, we can build a fertile ground for spiritual prosperity and happiness!