You can do it.
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1, you can't just say it.
The golden rule of adolescent parents is not to nag, talk less and do more. Because they have been indoctrinated for more than ten years, they will gradually get bored. In adolescence, when their outlook on life and values are perfect, they all have their own ideas, hoping to express them urgently, have an independent consciousness, and are very disgusted with the implantation of parents' values.
2, to two-way communication
Communication is two-way, so children must be given the opportunity to express their ideas. In adolescence, children will have their own needs, and parents need to give their children enough face, so as to eliminate communication barriers and make communication smoother. It is acceptable to give children full autonomy in the choice of some relatively small things, even if they screw things up. Although some big things can't be decided by children, they can't be completely rejected. First of all, we should listen to the children's real thoughts and opinions, not only give them the opportunity to express themselves, but also draw closer the parent-child relationship and understand the children's values.
3. Give children some affirmation and encouragement.
Everyone wants to be affirmed and praised by others, and so do children. Every time you communicate with your child, you must first affirm the child's advantages and then point out the shortcomings. Praise requires certain skills, and you should not exaggerate when expressing affirmation, so as not to increase the difficulty of communication.
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4, do a good job of guidance
In different times, parents' thoughts should keep pace with their children. Don't take out your experiences when you were young to educate your children. Your own experience is just a reference value. You can't impose your own experience on your child, which will not only disgust your child, but also bring uncontrollable consequences. When children are faced with problems or choices, don't tell them what to do directly, but let them choose for themselves.
5. Learn to care.
It is important for children to learn in adolescence, but when communicating with children, they can't always compare their grades, which will make children feel psychological pressure and doubt their parents' communication motivation, which will inevitably make children disgusted. We might as well start with family affairs or children's interests. You can't talk about children's grades every time you communicate, which will touch their sensitive nerves.
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In short, parents must adhere to the attitude of respecting equality when communicating with their children, and cannot be condescending. They should master certain skills to communicate with children and understand their real thoughts, instead of blindly accusing and abusing them.