Five methods of emotional self-control

Five methods of emotional self-control

There are five ways to control emotions. Everyone has their own emotional forms and patterns. When he is angry, losing his temper will affect interpersonal relationships. If he doesn't lose his temper, he will be depressed for a long time and hurt his body and mind. Here are five ways to control your emotions.

Five methods of emotional self-control 1 1, optimistic attitude towards life

In some ways, the troubles caused by emotions can be said to be much ado about nothing. The more pessimistic a person is, the easier it is to get to the bottom of it. It's just a small thing, but it can make a pessimistic person frown all day, as if the sky is going to fall. However, an optimistic person will see the bright side. Even if the sky falls, there will be support from high people and it is not easy to be troubled by emotions. If you want to control your emotions better, the first step is to have an optimistic attitude towards life.

2. Enjoy a pleasant life experience

Emotion is easily influenced by the environment, so it is very important for us to choose and approach an environment conducive to mental health. For example, if we want to enjoy getting along with friends, we should arrange more parties with friends and get support and care from them. If you like outdoor activities, spend more time climbing mountains and traveling with friends and relatives. In short, I always put myself in my favorite environment.

3. Happy memories

Recall the happy things you have experienced or the joy of success, and recall the happy experiences related to the unpleasant experiences in the past.

4. Language control

When you are emotional, remind yourself to "calm down", "don't be angry" and "pay attention to your identity and influence" to suppress your emotions; You can also write down banners such as "control anger" and "calm down" in advance and put them on your desk or hang them on the wall.

5. Learn to let reason control your emotions.

If you can keep the upper hand of reason most of the time, you can generally control your emotions well before their symptoms arrive, calm yourself down, reflect on yourself, and learn to control your emotions hard, instead of being captured by them and letting them swell and explode.

Five methods of emotional self-control 2 Learn the following 12 points and learn to control your emotions.

1, emergency, speak slowly.

In case of emergency, if you can calm down and think, and then calmly make things clear, you will leave a stable and impulsive impression on the listener, thus increasing others' trust in you.

2, small things, humorously said

In particular, some kind reminders, said in a joking way, will not make listeners feel stiff, they will not only accept your reminders, but also enhance their intimacy.

3, uncertain, cautious.

For those things you are not sure about, if you don't say it, others will think you are hypocritical; If you can say it strictly, people will think you are a trustworthy person.

Don't talk nonsense about things that didn't happen.

People hate people who make much ado about nothing. If you never speculate or talk nonsense, others will think you are mature, educated and conscientious.

Don't talk nonsense about what you can't do.

As the saying goes, "Without Jin Gangzuan, don't make porcelain". If you don't easily promise what you can't do, it will make the listener feel that you are a person who "keeps his word" and is willing to believe you.

6, hurting people, can't say.

Don't use words to hurt others, especially between close people. Don't say anything that hurts others. This will make them feel that you are a kind person and help to maintain and enhance their feelings.

7, sad things, don't see people say.

When people are sad, they all have the desire to talk, but if you talk to others, it will easily make the listener feel too stressed, suspicious and alienated.

At the same time, it will give people the impression that they don't think about others and want to pass on the pain to others.

8. Be careful about other people's business.

Everyone needs a safe distance, and not commenting and spreading other people's affairs easily will make people feel safe in communication.

9. Do your own thing and listen to what others say.

Listening to outsiders' opinions on your own affairs can give people a modest impression; Second, people will think you are a reasonable person.

10. Listen more and talk less about your elders.

Older people often don't like young people to comment too much on their own affairs. If young people talk too much, they will think that you are not a respectful, modest and studious person.

Of course, if you are really at fault and need to be admonished, you still have to say that you can't be "foolish and filial" just because you are an elder.

1 1, husband and wife, come and discuss.

Between husband and wife, what they are most afraid of when they encounter something is to blame each other, and to discuss with each other will play the role of "affection" and enhance the feelings of husband and wife.

12, let's talk about children.

Especially adolescent children are very rebellious. Taking a gentle and firm attitude to enlighten them can not only make children feel good about you, but also make them willing to be friends with you, and can also play a role in persuasion.

The most important sign of people who don't grow up:

There is no point in arguing with your own people and your loved family to win or lose.

As the saying goes, "a good word warms three winters, and a bad word hurts people in June." If you let yourself speak quickly and take it out on others, you will only be impulsive and foolhardy.

Take a bath for the soul, unhappy people, unhappy things, passing by, never mind, asking for trouble; Open your eyes, see something stronger than yourself, move forward with direction, see something weaker than yourself, and know your inner satisfaction.

Five methods of emotional self-control, three methods of emotional self-control

Counting color method.

Recently, American psychologist Field put forward an effective way to control emotions, that is, "counting colors". The operation method is that when you are angry with someone or something and want to lose your temper, if possible, stop your work and find an empty place independently, whether it is office, bedroom or bathroom, and do the following exercises:

First look at the surrounding scenery, and then say to yourself: it's a white wall; That is a light yellow table; That is a dark chair; That's a green filing cabinet. Count to twelve, about thirty seconds. If you can't leave the scene that makes you angry at once, for example, you are listening to the criticism of the supervisor or the teaching of your parents, then you can also do the above exercises on the spot.

This is the so-called "color counting method". Some people may ask, is this method ok? Isn't that a little ridiculous? In fact, this method is very learned. It is a way to control emotions by using physiological reactions. Because, when a person is angry, the secretion of adrenaline will tighten the muscles and speed up the blood flow, which makes him ready to "attack" physically. At this time, with the increase of anger, attention is shifted to inner feelings, rational thinking ability is reduced, and some physiological functions are temporarily weakened.

By using the "color counting method", force yourself to restore sensitive visual function and let the brain return to rational thinking. Therefore, when you count the colors, your mood will be calmer. Then think again, how should you deal with the present situation? After this short buffer period, we can treat it rationally. So this method is especially suitable for people with bad temper to control their emotions.

Keep an emotional diary.

Emotional diary is not an ordinary diary, it records the daily situation of self-emotion.

That is, what happens every day, my feelings and even some small feelings should be recorded. This is a psychologist's advice on controlling slow emotions. Facts have proved that repression is not the solution to the problem.

Because you didn't lose your temper at that time and restrained yourself, but the anger still existed, and finally you couldn't help it. Once it is vented, it is like a volcanic eruption, which is terrible. Not only will you get hurt, but the other person will be more unbearable. Slow people must pay special attention to this. As people say, a gentleman has a good temper, but once he loses his temper, he can't get well. This is the emotional characteristics of chronic people. Therefore, the emotional diary method is an effective way for slow people to control their emotions.

Prompt adjustment method.

Self-suggestion is one of the effective ways to change mood. Its basic practice is to send a positive signal to oneself, so as to adjust the mentality and change the mood. There are many specific suggestions.

For example, I started to hint to myself when I got up in the morning: I am in a good mood today! I am very happy today! I will do things smoothly today! I must get lucky today! Like this, you should constantly give yourself hints and let your subconscious accept these signals. This will have a great impact on your day's mood, making you happy and energetic in all kinds of work.

Exercise relaxation method. According to the research of psychologist Winslav, one of the best ways to relieve emotions is exercise. Because when people are depressed or angry, there will be some abnormal phenomena in physiology, which can be restored to their original state through exercise, such as running, playing ball and boxing. Physical recovery, natural normal mood. Some companies use this method to eliminate employees' dissatisfaction.

For example, a company specially arranged a room with a mannequin of the company's senior executives. When employees are dissatisfied with the senior supervisor, they can go to this room to scold or kick the senior supervisor for a while. After venting, they felt balanced and returned to their posts to continue their work. This is an exercise to relieve emotions.

Music relaxation method.

Music has a strong emotional appeal, so it is also one of the effective ways to relieve emotions. For some people, listening to their favorite music when they are in a bad mood will make the depressed mood disappear. Therefore, it is suggested that friends who like music may wish to prepare a few favorite tapes to put around and put a few songs on them to adjust their mood when they are in a bad mood.

Don't run away from the laws of reality. People who are reserved or depressed will not vent their anger directly, because they will think, "Anger and anger should not happen. How can you lose your temper?" So I tried to suppress my anger. When some reserved people are unhappy, they leave the scene to avoid confrontation, and wait until the anger of both sides disappears and they calm down. Most people may think that this is a good way to control anger and avoid conflict, but it is not. Because even if I don't say a word, I'm still communicating, and my body and expression have already indicated my attitude. Sometimes silence is more irritating than silence.

Attention control method.

People's attention is like the lens of a camera. The question is which part of something the camera should aim at. There are good and bad things in itself. It is gratifying to aim at the good side, but frustrating to aim at the bad side. Such examples can be seen everywhere in daily life. The best way to control your attention is to ask questions, because what kind of questions you ask, your brain will look for the relevant answers, that is, what you look for, you will get.

If your question is: Why is this person so annoying? At this time, your attention will look for annoying reasons, whether this person is really annoying or not. On the contrary, if you ask: Why is this person so good? At this time, your attention will look for a good reason. It's also a sentence from the other side. This sentence is a bad word and unkind when looking for the cause of disgust; When looking for emotional reasons, this sentence is a wise saying and heartfelt words. You see, there is such a big difference. Its root lies in one thing, and that is your attention. Therefore, the most effective and simple way to change your mood is to change your attention.

When you are in a bad mood, adjust your attention to the glory of the past and remember it well; When you have an opinion about a person, adjust your attention from one angle and see the good side of this person; When you are disgusted with something, adjust your attention to 180 degrees and look at the other side of things. This may change your mood, make you happier and make your life, work and study smoother.

Self-balancing method.

Some people are particularly vulnerable to anxiety, fear, nervousness and fear, and can't control these emotions. Therefore, they often feel depressed and blame themselves for some small mistakes in their work, and think they are incompetent and useless.

In fact, many people have this situation to some extent. Psychologists believe that the reason why we put too much pressure on ourselves and blame ourselves is mainly because there is a kind of "my fault, everyone can see it and care;" I made a mistake and can't hold my head up in front of others anymore. But in fact, times have changed, others may have forgotten this matter long ago, but they have been worried about it and may never forget it.

I value myself so much because I regard myself as the center of the world and think that the world revolves around me, so I have a little mistake, that is, earth-shattering, extremely important events, others are paying attention, and everything for me is finished. Is it really that serious? In fact, others don't take you so seriously. It is normal to have shortcomings, faults and mistakes in work. You will make mistakes, others will make mistakes, and so will you.

Another manifestation of people who have a particularly heavy heart of gain and loss is to completely deny themselves. When you do something, the result is unsatisfactory or fails, you feel ashamed and think it's all over. This kind of self-denial makes them unable to extricate themselves from their depressed emotions. The more they think about it, the more terrible they are, and the more anxious, nervous and fearful they are. Is it really that serious? Please think calmly, and you will find that others, like yourself, have experienced some failures more or less, and no one is perfect. So, you are not the only one who has failed, been ugly and made a mistake. Why bother about it?

These behaviors or phenomena may happen to anyone, so there is no need to blame yourself too much. Just remember, when you encounter these situations again, don't forget to face them bravely and treat them correctly. In this way, in daily life or work, when encountering difficulties or setbacks, the mentality will be balanced and the mood will be stable.