However, most families with two children often pay more attention to the second child unconsciously. The most parents say to the boss is: "You are the elder brother, you have to make way for your sister!" " "Seemingly reasonable, in fact, inadvertently revealed the parents' eccentricity.
They are all children born by their mothers in October, but one is older and the other is younger. Dabao must let Bao Xiao go, or Dabao won't understand! This is very harmful to the growth of Dabao and Bauer. Mothers should really pay attention.
So, how can a second-child family love their two children better?
There is a quirk of "letting the big one make the small one", which not only hurts the boss but also destroys the second one. My mother is worth pondering. Dabao gave birth to a second child when he was 8 years old. It was a boy and the family was extremely happy. I went to visit my cousin some time ago, and when I saw such a scene, my heart was sour.
When it's time to cook for the children, my cousin takes out eight fresh strawberries from the refrigerator and says to Dabao and Bauer, Mom will give them to you! Unexpectedly, my cousin did not hesitate to give Bauer five and Dabao three. Dabao pursed her mouth when she saw it.
My cousin told Dabao, "You have grown up and your brother is still young. How about two more for your brother? Do you think Kong Rong will give his brother pears! " Obviously, both children are treasures. How can you let Dabao be wronged by eating a fruit?
In the evening, both children have to drink milk before going to bed. As a result, Dabao got milk packaged in ordinary plastic bags, and Bauer got beautifully packaged organic milk from Jin Dian. Mom also said that my brother is still young, so it is right to let him have a good meal. Seeing this, I am very distressed by Dabao.
This "new quirk" is not uncommon in families with two children! Dabao and Bauer grab toys, and mom will let the big one let the small one; Dabao and Bauer cry, and mom will criticize them little without asking why; With delicious food and fun at home, Bao Xiao is also important. ...
In the eyes of mother, "let the big one let the small one" is what Dabao should learn to be sensible. However, blind eccentricity will make Dabao feel the care of his parents, while Bao Xiaoao is slow and arrogant, which is not good for the growth of both children!
What harm will the "big and small" education method do to children? First, Dabao has an inferiority complex.
Parents pay too much attention to Bao Xiao and ignore Dabao's feelings, which will make Dabao feel less concerned by his parents, and may fall into the question "Why doesn't mom love me?" Being eccentric for a long time will make Dabao feel inferior, weak and lose confidence.
Second, Bao Xiao is spoiled and charming.
Parents let Dabao give way to Bao Xiao, which will make Bao Xiao pampered and charming, and it is easy to develop unreasonable and arrogant children. Bao Xiao made a mistake, and his parents always thought it was Dabao's problem, rather than educating Bao Xiao, which was not conducive to Bao Xiao's sound personality development. Moreover, children who are favored by their parents tend to look down on their elders, and when they grow up, they make trouble, and mischief is common.
Third, Dabao and Bao Xiao are not harmonious.
The birth of Bao Xiao deprived parents of care and attention, which will make the baby feel lost. If parents ignore Dabao's needs too much, it may also affect the relationship between Dabao and Bauer, and even make Dabao hostile to Bauer!
How can parents of second-child families love their two children better? First, do a good job in Dabao's psychological construction
The arrival of the second child is a new change for a family and a change of role for Dabao. Parents had better communicate with Dabao before the arrival of the baby, do a good job in psychological construction for Dabao, and let the baby better adapt to the role change. Mothers can also do this:
Let Dabao accompany his mother for a birth check-up, stimulate Dabao's desire for a new life, let Dabao be close to his mother's stomach, and feel the new life of his brother or sister together. Let Dabao discuss things with his parents after the baby is born, let Dabao be full of hope, let Dabao participate in preparing things for his younger brother and sister, let Dabao have a sense of participation and tell Dabao that even if he has a younger brother and sister, his parents still love her very much, and let Dabao not worry about it. Second, equal treatment in thought.
Parents' attitude is the most critical. After Bauer is born, we should treat the two babies equally and should not treat them differently according to their age. Dabao is right to care about his younger brothers and sisters, but he can't be wronged on the grounds of "letting the big ones be small".
In terms of food and clothing, the two children are treated equally; During the daily quarrel between Dabao and Bauer, give the two children enough space, and parents should interfere less; In daily life, let Dabao participate in taking care of Bauer.
Third, give Dabao some time.
After giving birth to the second child, parents will inevitably pay more attention to Bauer, but we can squeeze out some time to be alone with Dabao. Parents can accompany Dabao to do something he likes every week, which will make Dabao feel the care and love of his parents, which is of great significance to Dabao's growth.