I want cold jokes I want cold jokes, I want brain teasers I want brain teasers!

1.A buck, it walks, walks faster and faster, finally it becomes a highway (deer) !!!!

2. two tomatoes crossing the road, a car sped past, one of them dodge was flattened, the other tomato pointing to be flattened tomatoes laughed: dig hahahaha, tomato sauce ...

3. the big bad wolf said: "I'm going to eat you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Guess what?

The big bad wolf ended up eating the lamb.

4. The stone and the rice cake fought, the stone flew up and kicked the rice cake into the sea ............

Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who made a private promise of marriage, but the boy needed to serve in the army, so he made a vow with the girl and gave her a diamond ring, and promised to give her a diamond ring in the future, and promised to give her a diamond ring in the future. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a diamond ring and promise that you will meet the girl three years from today, and then that ring will be your wedding ring. After three years, the girl has been waiting for the boy, but has not been able to wait, she was too sad, desperate she threw the diamond ring into the sea, far away from home. However, the boy in fact has been waiting for the girl, but the girl misunderstood the date place, so it will forever become regret. The boy was heartbroken... After a few years, the boy went fishing, and guess what he caught?

Rice cakes!!!!

5. Are dumplings for boys or girls

Answer Boys because dumplings have a wrapper

6. There was a duck named Little Yellow, and one day he was hit by a car, and he cried out, "Quack!" And he's been a little cucumber ever since!!!!

7. Matchstick suddenly felt an itch on his head, so he reached out to scratch it, and as he did so, he burned himself to death...

8. Once upon a time, once upon a time, there was a bird

who passed by a field of corn every day

but unfortunately

one day there was a fire in that field

and all the corn all turned into popcorn

After the bird flew past ......

Thinking it was snowing, it got cold...

9. When will Taiwan want to unify?

Buying instant noodles

10. Song and Pak were chatting with each other about the years.

Ah Song: "When I remember my childhood, the happiest time I had was Children's Day."

Apai: "After ten years, it's Youth Day."

Azon: "After ten more years it's Father's Day."

Arbor: "In a couple decades it will be Old Man's Day."

Ah Song: "Another couple more decades ."

Apai: "Qingming Festival."

11. Soldiers: "Thirsty ...... Thirsty ......"

Cao Cao: "Everyone, hold on a little longer! I've been to this place before, and I remember there's a plum forest nearby, so if we walk a little further, we might be there"

Soldiers: "Oh  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ there's plums to eat  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄"

Half an hour later -Cao Ren: "My Lord! The expedition has found a large amount of water!"

Cao Cao: "Hahahahaha, did you hear that? Finally have water to drink"

The soldiers: "Do not go ...... must find the plum ...... "12. A girl fell out of love, I advised her: "two-legged toad is not good to find, three-legged men have plenty of ah!"

13. One day Xiao Qiang asked his father: "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"

14. A rare steak and a medium rare steak met on the street, why didn't they say hello? (Assuming they could talk)

Because ....................

Because ........................

Because they're both undercooked! ~~~~~~

15. Q: How do you quiet a sparrow?

Answer: press it a little.

Reason: crows are silent (press the sparrow).

16. A college student was unfortunately captured by the enemy, who tied him to a pole and then asked him, "Say, where are you from? If you don't tell me, I'll electrocute you!!!" This college student said something back to the enemy and ended up being electrocuted ......

He said, "I'm from the University of Electricity!"

17. A: "I'll take you to a place where all the girls don't wear bras."

B: "Really? Where? Take me there!"

A: "It's right next door to the kindergarten!"

18. Wang Xiaoya, the host of the Happy Dictionary program, interviewed a viewer of the program and asked, "Which female host do you admire most in your mind?" The audience said: "It's you." Wang Xiaoya asked, "Why do you say that?" The audience said, "Because you look a bit like Yang Lan!"

19. Do you know what color Spiderman is?

Red, wrong!

It's white.

If you don't believe me, read Spiderman's English: spider man (是白的人)

20.Why did Ming fall down?

Please think twice ........................... .....

Because the floor is slippery

21.A group of animals rushed into a 7-11 convenience store to buy something after a party, and because it was too noisy, they were all beaten out by the clerk, but the lamb was left alone in the store.

Convenience stores do not close 24 hours ah .........

22. Glasses and coffee cups together across the street, suddenly someone shouted: the car is coming!

The glass was hit by the car, but the coffee cup was fine.

The coffee cup has ears!

23. A horse said, "My company is proud to introduce a new product, Horse Fart No. 3, or MP3 for short...

24. I hate two kinds of people:

One is racist;

The second one is black;

The third one is not able to read and write!

25. I would like to thank Ozawa Yuan, Asahi Ran, Nagase Ai, Mitsutake Ryoko, Takagi Maria, Kawamoto Mai, Sadagi Hitomi, Natsuki Miyuki, Serizushi Naomi, Shiraishi, Kudo Aoi, Koyamauchi Mayu, Kishikawa Miho, Nishida Tomoki, Sawai Aya, Fujisaki Aihana, Yezan Mizuki-chan, Inoue Chihiro, Matsumura, Yuki, and Izumi Shizuka for their work and for all the other people that I know and don't know, who have been in my computer and now have been lost. I know the names of these exotic friends who used to be in my computer and whose names have now been deleted or are still in my computer: they were the ones who accompanied me through the lonely nights; they comforted me when I was in the worst of my spirit; they made me feel the pleasure of smoothness when I was exhausted from playing CS; and they made me feel high when I was in a state of depression and didn't have a feeling for the game.

26. Now the accuracy of earthquake prediction has really improved a lot, this time there are only two words short of the prediction in the "Heilongjiang", but the result is in the "Jiujiang"!

27. Zhang Liangying said: "The fans who worship me say - the idol is called Ying"

He Jie said: "The fans who worship me say - the idol is called Jie"

He Jie said: "The fans who worship me say - the idol is called Jie. -Idol's idol is called Jie"

Zhou Penchang said: "Fans who worship me say -Idol's idol is called Chang"

Li Yuchun said: "You guys chat, I'm leaving first!"

28. Five Fuwa got together to chat.

Beibei suggested: Let's give ourselves a nickname, I'll be called "Beiwa"!

Jingjing: I'll be called Jingwa!

Huanhuan: I'll call her "Huanwa"!

NiNi: I'll be called "NiWa"!

YingYing stood up and said: you guys talk, I have something to do, I'm leaving first ......

That is to say, in the year 2058, the five FuWa got together again to talk.

Beibei: Let's talk about our nicknames, people respect me and call me "Master Bei"!

Huanhuan: People call me "Master Huan"!

Nini: People call me "Master Nini"!

YingYing: People call me "Master YingYing"!

JingJing stood up and said: "You guys talk, I have something to do, I'm going to go first. ......

29. Winter is here, I decided to keep the habit of taking a cold shower, but as I washed, I realized that I had returned to my childhood!

30. Celery walking, suddenly felt a pain in the stomach, and then he "blah" sound, you say he pulled out what ~~? That is the celery dung (diligence)! What color is celery dung?

Answer:yellow

Because : Qin Shi Huang (celery shit yellow)

31.There is a fat man ....

Jumped from the top of the 20th floor ....

The result was .....

Dead fat guy!!!!

Ming:Have you ever seen a turtle shake its head?

Kangkang (shaking his head):No

Smaller Ming:Then have you ever heard the story of the idiot who said yes, BC said no, and the retard who didn't speak

Kangkang:.............

You were lying across the theater taking up four seats, and when people told you to get up, you just ummed and ahhed twice and didn't move your place. The security guard came and said, "Enough hate ah ~ brother, which way?" You gritted your teeth and said: "Upstairs aisle fell down!"

A monkey eats peanuts before they are stuffed into the buttocks and then taken out to eat. The administrator explained that someone once fed it peaches, and the kernels couldn't be pulled out, so the monkey got scared and now it must be measured before eating.

A girl's school is haunted.

One day it was encountered by Xiao Hong.

The ghost said: "Schoolgirl. You see. I have no feet. I have no feet.

Small Red: What's wrong with that. Look, schoolmate, I don't have boobs, I don't have boobs.

A man got sick and went to the hospital, the doctor said he had a very rare disease, he had to be isolated in his room, no one else could touch him, and he could only eat a special kind of pancake from today

The patient asked the doctor, "Excuse me, will the pancake have a special effect on my disease?"

The doctor said, "No, you're being made to eat pancakes because that's the only kind of pancake you can fit under the doorway of your quarantined room.

A man wrote a love letter to his girlfriend

In order to express his love more strongly, he drew a lot of peach hearts on the back of the envelope and wore them with arrows

Unfortunately for him, his girlfriend replied, "What's the meaning of the skewers of lamb on the back of the envelope?"

One day, the bird flew from Gaoxiong to Taipei taking 1 hour. But it took 2 hours to come back!

WHY?

Because it was raining! So you have to fly with one hand to cover the rain.

Small A says to Small B: Digg .... It was raining outside too!

Small A said to Small B: "Yeah, I saw it. What about you?

Small Ming kept begging his mom to let him be an artiste.

Mom said, "You're still too young, let's talk about it later", but Small Ming didn't give up and kept begging his mom.

Small Ming's mom couldn't stand it anymore and went crazy:

"We were born as red beans, it's impossible for us to be artistes.

We are born as red beans, we can't be entertainers (Job), just give up!

The chocolate and the tomato fought and the chocolate won.

Why?

Because chocolate bars~

Q: A rabbit and a very fast turtle raced, guess who won?

A: The rabbit~~

Q: Wrong~! The tortoise is a very fast tortoise, and it's a very fast tortoise.

Q: The rabbit races a tortoise wearing sunglasses again, and who wins this time?

A: Well, the rabbit did. The rabbit

Q: Wrong~~! That turtle took his sunglasses off, too! It's the same turtle that ran so fast just now ^O^

Q: Dandan is the name of a puppy or a tiger

A: Tiger, because tigers look at each other well