Laughing through the belly ultra-funny classic quotes

1, vulgarity is a breakthrough, especially elegant and noble are no use

2, live in a snail's pace, live in a wimpy, born in a wimpy

3, don't shout at me all the time beasts, more understanding of me, you'll know that I'm worse than a beast.

4, cross-eyed cold to the adulterer's shame, loose soil Gan for the bottom of the skirt cattle.

5, recently stressed, gnawing Want Want snow cake than others gnawing smoke is also powerful

6, cow dung is cow dung, even if you again meat and potatoes, flowers generally still will not be inserted in your body, because that is degrading to the sense of beauty

7, cow B is a mundane person, the cow organ is a literati.

8, why we all give the darkness to the devil, because they are brave, are not afraid of the dark

9, lying is a man's prerogative, to be cheated is a woman's patent

10, I'm not like her, I like my script, just my script is that I am y in love with her

11, when you chase your heart of the Prince Charming, waiting for you! That frog is actually a prince, will be fished away

12, something or nothing, do not feel free to let their own feelings seed, or else rooted, you want to pull it also have to toss toss, root deep, you want to pull it can not be pulled out

13, the feelings of the two people, if only one person to try to mix the honey, then in the end, it will only make the other bee into a fly

14, drunk Fang Zhi Zhi stupid, love to understand the fool

15, the reason why you can not tolerate sand, is that you use the selection of flour sieve, too subtle the reason why I can put up with you, is that I used to catch the big fish nets, so that the small fish have slipped through

16, the loss of happiness, that is, the chrysanthemums on your buttocks, and often only when you have diarrhea, you only feel that it opens up the special show splendid

16, the loss of happiness, that is, your ass on the daisy, often only diarrhea, you think it opened up the special show brilliant

17, ugly is not your fault, stupid is not your fault, but the ugly and stupid play to the fullest, can not be used as a showcase of your greatness ah, to be modest

18, you're a person special goodness, especially when sorry

19, feelings like buying stocks, selected on the garbage stocks, loss, it does not matter, the key is to learn to stop loss but the most afraid is that you do not recognize their own Failure of vision, blindly hold, look forward to the recovery, the results, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on.

21, the woman is still wearing a mask of make-up, the man installed is the moral face mask

22, those who are conceited, always can not help but chicken in the flock of cranes

23, irony is what? Irony is that even if you are willing to be someone else's toilet paper, people still think you soft paper, dirty fingers, hard paper, wiped the buttocks

24, do not always say that the mud can not turn the wall, because even if you are concrete, no one with you to turn, you have to be on the ground, someone turned over, regardless of the mud is rotten, but still will be sticking to a bit of mold in the wall

25, your boss as a baby, and then see yourself as a tit, and more to give yourself a little bit of a baby. As a milk, more pressure on themselves, squeeze out some milk, because the baby does not know how to appreciate the milk will not produce milk tits

26, people rely on clothing, Buddha rely on gold. But the essence is still the essence, like you, whether it is Li-Ning or Adidas, Impossible or

27, people's lives at least once at first sight, then it seems that I've made a lot of people not in vain

28, said that the beauty of the beast with the beast, when I'm a beast a moment.

29, want to bubble bubble not, that at most a plan bubble soup; want to bubble bubble people were soaked, that is soaked on the formalin, called leaching

30, as the saying goes, brothers such as hands and feet, women such as clothes, this is now still quite a reference value, but the reality also added a little bit of the times it elements, but now it's a brother such as prosthetic limbs, women such as underwear, people can be the So life at least to become a screenwriter, to be wonderful, try to develop the director.

32, I see you on a professional weaving nets, and specializing in penguins.

33, you are the frog at the bottom of the well, or even the bottom of the well did not run all the

34, life always like to throw me between the angels and devils as a tug-of-war rope, in order to retaliate against them, I decided to do the rope of grass, broken, and then they all rolled to one side

35, the average person will not say that I am long and handsome, they usually only say that I was born to have a dominating spirit

36, to be able to so many human vices MIX so perfect, I believe that you rain out on the street, the God of Thunder can not touch you feel sorry

37, there was a woman who wanted to remodel me, the results she only dismantled my parts at the end, but never with me to install

38, romance is always impossible to assess the value of the, otherwise I would have been worth a million

39, go out Street these so strenuous movement is not suitable for me, the old cassock's big wish is to be able to sit in front of the computer on Sundays Zen Athletics.

40, people do not YY in vain! Not catfight uncomfortable!

41, live, is to leap in the gibberish.

42, even if I'm small, but when I try to live for myself, I'm still great, just I do not know the size of the great

43, not my happiness have to be built on top of your pain, just that you have to let your pain to make me amused

Laughing through the belly of the hilarious paragraph

Laughing through the belly of the hilarious paragraph excerpts

1. If I were a teardrop in your eye, I would fall down your cheek and disappear between your lips, if you were a teardrop in my eye, I wouldn't cry because I'm afraid of losing you!

2. Four sweet petals lips, two pure souls, an immortal love idea this is the beautiful elements of a kiss.

3. The wall blooms outside the wall red, to pick flowers road is not accessible. If you want to access the road to flowers to thank, a joy a empty.

4. The most beautiful thing in life is the process, the most difficult is to know each other, the most eager is the result! The most bitter is waiting! The most happy is true love, the most afraid of ruthlessness, the most regret is to miss, the most want to be with you.

5. You are the wind and I am the sand, you are the shoes and I am the brush, you ignore me I kill myself!

6. Love expert sincerely for your service, please enjoy the free professional services I provide! Passionate kiss type, warm embrace type, gently touch type, or amorous holding hands type, sweet words type. Please feel free to choose.

7. I love you! If you love me, then take these three words, if you do not love me, please return these three words to me!

8. Adhere to the absolute leadership of the wife. Home wife is always the first, the child second, the dog third, I fourth.

9. My family has a sow and a group of piglets, if you are willing to come to my house to live, I will sell the sow, and I will live with you.

10. Every time I think of you, the picture is a mosaic.

11. I like to see the inspirational story of the socialist girl, from the middle school and high school, to the grown-up waiter and dishwasher who sent out flyers.

12. It's a beautiful day, I've been in my room for a long time and I'm ready to go to the living room for a break.

13. Math is the most romantic, it is more perfect than anything else in the world, it never lies, it never betrays, and it never passes.

14. If you treat your wife badly, don't blame me for treating your wife too well.

15. Other people stay in bed because they have money and want to sleep as late as possible. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on your own, but I'm sure you're going to be able to get a good deal on your own.

16. What is loneliness, 50 dollars in phone bills for six months did not use up, hard to let the monthly rent deducted

17. You in the north frozen into ghosts, I am in the south of the dew thighs.

18. People have two eyes, all parallel, so should be equal to see people; people's two ears are divided on both sides, so do not listen to one side of the word; although only one heart, but there are left and right two chambers of the heart, so not only do things for their own thoughts, but also for others.

19. The curtain of the stage of life may be opened at any time, the key is that you are willing to perform, or choose to avoid.

20. Let's replace the worry beforehand with thinking and planning beforehand!

21. In the face of the goal, confidence, life can have a few fights? In the face of achievements, open-minded, all continents lead to Rome.

22. In the face of opportunity, do not hesitate; in the face of choice, do not hesitate; in the face of the battle, do not fear!

23. Without saliva and sweat, there is no success in tears.

24. I only believe in two people in this world, one is me, the other is not you.

25. Some people are so unintelligent, you do not x his mom, he does not know you are his father.

Laughing through the belly of the funny paragraph share

1. go downstairs kiosk to buy things, checkout asked the boss there is no Alipay, the boss said no, there is a Gadobao.

2. Give the future mother-in-law a bad review, the delivery is too slow.

3. Holding a hot, charging cell phone and putting life and death at risk was one of the few heroic moments of my life.

4. Did the leaf leave because the wind pursued it or because the tree didn't want it to?

5. Brothers like hands and feet, women like clothes, who moves my hands and feet, I pick his clothes!

6. I've already thought about it, I'll raise my son as a robber, and my daughter as a princess.

7. I'm an actor, and when I see a beautiful mm, my eyes are round

8. I'm not familiar with Wu Bai, but his brother is very familiar with me.

9. My father is from Jiangsu and my mother is from Hunan.

10. I don't know whose daughter-in-law is in my bed, and my daughter-in-law doesn't know whose bed she's in!

11. The network is like a prison, originally stole a wallet to come in, and when you go out you learn everything.

12. Who controls history, who controls the future; who controls the present, who controls history.

13. Life is fucking fun, because life is always fucking playing me.

14. I have to rely on threats to get things done that a good-looking girl can't get done by pampering herself.

15. On the bus I looked at you often, you looked at me often, I fell in love with you at first sight, and you were holding on to your wallet.

16. Math is actually very simple, it's just the other 90 points that are hard.

17. There are so many classes like prostitutes, I just go to them every day and don't even know the names.

18. When you can't find a good angle for your selfie, you have to recognize that you look better in person than in pictures.

19. I picked up a lamp and wished for a date before I died, and I got eternal life.

20. I'm a hard-hearted person, and I cried when I added my fingers.

21. You said that onions are amazing, the only fruits and vegetables that can call for tears, I do not want to deny you, but the last time I was smashed by the durian to the foot I also cried for a day.

22. Whoever dares to disturb my study in the new semester, I will play with him.

23. generally like to tell yellow paragraph girls are very beautiful why? Why? Because they have to cover up their own beautiful appearance to cover up their own obscene heart.

24. The happiness of the sky is to wear a blue; the happiness of the forest is to wear a green; the happiness of the sun, such as diamonds dazzling; and my happiness, because I know you.

25. If you are a fish, then I am the hook, I want to fish you; if you are a small mountain, then I am the mountain side of the river, I want to go around you; if you are a bun, then I am a bowl of mutton soup, I want to soak you.

Laughing through the belly of the funny paragraph collection

1. Tired of the sea oath of the misty, sweet words of the hollow, do not need to swear Dan Dan promise, this life I only want and you, calmly, slowly old age. Waiting for the old where can not go, you are still in my heart treasure!

2. One year old mouth waterfall, two years old wear clothes not pants, three-year-old snot flow into the mouth, four-year-old night long dream ghost, this person is young and no success, grow up after the IQ low, know that is you, but also adhere to see the end, admire, admire ah!

3. I want you to think about you want you so much, find a painter to paint you, stick you in a cup, drink water every day to kiss you, little like it? I'd like to see you in a cup of boiling water.

4. Actively respond to the call of the six eggs. Can only look at the wife's face, before going out to kiss the face, sleep to stick to the face. Old, never shout her change eggs, wife scolded asshole, I am soft eggs.

5. I was once confused, it is you holding hands to get me out of the woods, let me know love a person originally is how beautiful things ah, let me use this life as a return, accompanied by you, has been holding hands to old age.

6. Thinking about if it is a disease, that I have been very sick; miss if it is a kind of love, that I have been in love with the sea; love if it is because of hate, that I have been hated to the bone; you if it is a poison, I would like to exhaust life for you.

7. Marriage is a consolidated statement, love is accounts payable, children are other accounts payable, life is a going concern, quarrels are bad debt provision, fights are operating losses, tears are offsetting owner's equity.

8. can make money better, better than I earn more, by the way, do not need me to support, it is easy.

9. If heaven lets me make three wishes, the first one is to be with you in this life, the second one is to be with you again and again, and the third one is to be with you forever and ever.

10. want you, feel like: fried vegetables did not put salt; apple is not too sweet; drink less smoke; shopping forget to bring money; free time I will think of you, no time I will take the time to think of you, really can not take the time to think of you, I do not do anything, the light think of you!

22 hilarious classic quotes _ absolutely laugh through the belly

1 , the night after ordering dinner in the dormitory anxiously waiting, after a while someone to knock on the door of the dormitory,

was hungry a bit of brainwashed, I shouted out a rice, is it you?

Only to hear the outside came a leisurely voice En, it is me

Dear deliveryman, do you want to be so cute!

2, it seems that I'm too young aca, see people practicing to coach handing a cigarette, have a laugh,

I pulled out my pocket only a pack of Kleenex, take out a hand to the coach: you smoke after wiping your mouth.

Everyone looks at me differently.

3 , in the morning, mom went into the house to wake up his son: son up, it's time to go to school

Why? Mom! I don't want to go

Tell me two reasons why you don't want to go

Well, the kids don't like me, and the teachers don't like me

So... Anyway, there's no reason not to go to school

Mom! Then give me two reasons why I have to go to school

Okay! First, you're 52 years old! Secondly, you are the principal

4, heart, my aunt and my sister have begun to ask me from time to time why I do not bring a girlfriend back, ask me in the end when I intend to get married?

I was forced to do nothing, still young, still want to play, work too busy, Beijing house has not bought, too poor and other reasons are said all over,

They are not let go, I said I am gay!

They answered in unison: No way! I'm not saying that all gay people are handsome?

5 , a female colleague, one hundred and forty pounds. Every night with the ladies dancing square dance action all kinds of retardation.

Yesterday, pulled me to view, finished, asked me how the jump looks.

I said: I think you dance looks like a Swan brand drum washing machine.

6 , just now, I suddenly realized that my dog Xiaohei is a dog talent, I was about to sit down to eat McDonald's to buy back the burger,

Xiaohei suddenly yelled out the window, as if strangers into the yard,

I went out to look around, did not see anyone, and then came back,

found Xiaohei and burgers are gone! .....

7 , reunion in order to highlight the identity, I wore a piece of Rolex, was worried about how to show the time, a classmate suddenly asked what time.

I was overjoyed, calmly took out his cell phone and dialed the phone:

Wang Manager? I am a customer who bought a Rolex from you,

Yes, yes, yes, the gold watch, I want to ask, what time is it?

8 , today my friend drove me home, get on the car habitually lit a cigarette,

friends a hand to my cigarette pinch off, came to the sentence: don't smoke in the car, there will be smoke.

I fucking slap him down, the battery car has your sister's smoke flavor!

9, will soon be examined Section II, worried about not passing, so prepared a little something to find the coach: coach, this point of things to take to drink tea.

Roll! You take me as what people!

The coach righteously rejected me,

By the way, the bottle cap of iced tea printed with the words "one more bottle" was thrown into the trash.

10, today's daughter-in-law rest did not work, go back at noon to see her in a particularly good mood, but also particularly thoughtful,

According to her set of rules must have something to ask for, but since a word did not mention,

is feeling strange, out of the balcony to see my big winter jacket coat gorgeous cool there,

mood fell to the low point,

brothers, I've hidden 3k inside the winter coat, and then I've got a big winter coat.

11, and back to the familiar classroom, caressing the once desk, see familiar teachers, do a familiar paper

I know that I stayed again.

12 、Mom and I talked about Grandma when she was young, said Grandma was recognized as the city's first beauty.

So I asked with emotion and skepticism: bragging Grandma was really so beautiful?

My mom said with pride: "Of course!

My mother said, "I'm not sure if I've ever seen a woman like her before!

13, there is a girlfriend leakage more bitter things?

Yes, that is, the boyfriend leakage, that is really bitter forced.

14, yesterday late at night to go to the neighborhood supermarket to buy things, probably because late at night, rows in front of a few people are holding Durex,

I was a person with a tube of rolling paper,

TMD checkout cashier even sighed at me!

Sigh you MB ah!

15, today my friend drove me home, get in the car habitually lit a cigarette, my friend a hand to my cigarette pinch off,

came to the sentence: do not smoke in the car, there will be smoke flavor.

I fucking slap him down, the battery car has your sister's smoke flavor!

16, a boy and a girl in the cafe blind date, the boy asked for salt in a panic,

The girl asked him why, the boy said I'm afraid you'll ask me later to have a car have a car I have no salt to the right.

17 , the evening with the new boyfriend walk, suddenly saw two dogs in the shoo,

He looked at a moment, blushed and asked me: you are now not also have such an idea?

I quickly explained: no no no, I will not be interested in a male dog!

18 , one night and his girlfriend went out to eat a late-night snack, home encountered four hooligans to rob,

I did not say back 10 meters, girlfriend did not move,

Hooligans said to me: Yo drink, meet a timid.

I said: beat you need me? (My girlfriend has a black belt!)

This is the first time I've ever seen a guy with a black belt!

This is the reason why I am so obedient to my girlfriend!

19 , will soon be examined subject two, worried about not pass, so prepared a little something to find the coach: coach, this thing to take to drink tea.

Roll! You take me as what people!

The coach righteously rejected me,

By the way, the iced tea bottle cap printed with the words "one more bottle" was thrown into the trash.

20 , once waiting for the traffic light, a lot of people on both sides, see there are thirty seconds.

And think of the online LOL that sentence, brain pumping to a sentence: the enemy still has thirty seconds to reach the battlefield!

Crush them!

The next person to look at my expression are drunk, no place to hide, I am a sister ah!

21 、Buddy, your jeans are broken and still wear out?

This is now popular, you know a hair!

I looked at his leaking chrysanthemums, fell into a deep thought.

22, the mind is very important. Negative people, only to screw things up.

And once he has a positive mindset, he can happily screw things up.

The old bastard: four years of time so quietly past, the parting of the sadness spread on our hearts, we once had how warm a period of time ah! We used to go to internet cafes, discos, skipping classes, taking make-up exams, smoking, drinking and playing cards, how nostalgic! I wish you a happier future than this!

Boss: I wish you to become a big boss with billions of assets in the future, and use your own hands to make the diploma more gold!

Dashing brother: I wish you a future of dashing life, dashing enjoyment, dashing walk of life! Another: I'm not going to see you off tonight, I have to make up for the high math at night.

Minister: on the occasion of this sad parting, I would like to represent myself, to you, as well as behind you Xiaobai, to send my most sincere greetings, and the most noble love, I wish you all the family joy, happiness and well-being!OVER.

Dash: out of the mix, sooner or later there is this day, the separation is not scary, scary is the separation of the absence of news from you! I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get it right.

The first: I wish you the best of luck in the future! Another: you asked me that question during the graduation exam, I finally figured it out, and now I am writing you the answer: #$@^^%^%(Note: sixteen formulas and a number of words are omitted here)

Lao Liang: Love is deep, blame is deep. This is the root cause of my last fight with you.

Xiaoli: I remember you as a big, cute boy who doesn't talk much, so I hope you'll be happy in the future!

Flower: four years of your lively humor old into the endless joy brought to everyone, I sincerely hope that you will be happy and happy!

Sweetcake: I hope you will not call a girl sweetcake, she will hate you for life!

Liu Fu Zi: outside the pavilion, by the ancient road, fork fork fork fork fork, don't laugh, although I can't remember this ancient poem, but I will always remember you! I wish to be happy forever!

Changjun: time to come to us to play ah! We have your best one here! That's the one! The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on the best one you can.

Class teacher: you are a smart student, the reason why everyone else does not think so, that is they do not know you.

Laughing through the belly of the graduation message two

Fatty: I wish you later in life on the road when you remember me!

Class flower: In fact, four years I have always liked you!

Girlfriend: in fact, four years I have not liked you!

Sleeping in my brother on the bunk: remember, after strenuous exercise must wash feet!

Honest King: I wish you a lot of concubines in the future, left and right, and enjoy the happiness forever!

Heart Lee: I wish you a long life with Xiaobai (note: my girlfriend) today, love and affection! Another: the honest king upstairs, despise you! Today counted to see your true colors!

The big man: I wish you a lot of children and grandchildren in the future! *** enjoy the family! Grandson name think good? I've already done it.

Xiao Zhu: Use the little fairy grass, no worries in this life! Brother, go well, I am now working in the small fairy grass sanitary napkin factory, time to see me oh!

Learning Committee: I hope we meet again, is in the United States, Harvard University doctoral graduation ceremony, you and I excited, shaking hands with each other, you said: congratulations on your doctoral degree! I also said: you look elsewhere, here cans were picked up.

The squad leader: brother, all the way to take care of, must be safe and sound, this is my last order to you, although you in my four years under me never listened to my orders once.

Liu Hai (president of the school student union): four years passed in a flash, you and I are incredibly fond of these four years of good times, the years pass people do not grow old, like this day, I really want to live another five hundred years!

Xiao Qiao: I wish you a double harvest of love and career! In addition to giving us a lot of girls on the road of life in the future, but also to leave yourself some love!