They have been married for many years, have a house and a car, and have a lovely baby.
Men are obedient to her and love her in every way. They have always been a model couple in the eyes of others, and the model family that everyone talked about finally lost in the face of reality.
The objects of cheating also have their own families, and their wives and children are very spicy. Good friends tried their best to keep them, and earnestly begged their wives to give them a complete home for their young children.
But the wife who flatly refused to go back to her mother's family did not hesitate to throw herself into the arms of another man.
She said she didn't want to see her first marriage with him. She said that he was her true love and she wanted to live a different life with him.
As outsiders, we don't know the whole truth, and we don't seem to have the right to judge.
But as a friend, in addition to comforting him, I am also trying to enlighten him, saying that it takes two slaps to make a sound, and there is a problem in marriage. Maybe both parties are responsible, and I advise him to look at this matter rationally and take a long-term view.
But it is undeniable that there is a question hovering in my heart. What is the significance of marriage in this era of rampant derailment? What should I do if I meet the so-called "true love" after marriage?
02
In the TV series Men Gang, after years of marriage, Li Shan decided to divorce her husband. At this moment, she met Gu Xiaobai.
But in the end, Li Shan chose to go back to her husband. In the last episode, Li Shan said to Gu Xiaobai:
We will gradually forget our promises, pay more attention to new feelings and like a person's feelings, but this feeling is bottomless. We only care about our feelings. We will always fall in love with different people, but love should not be like this.
Love is management, persistence and patience. I used to think all this was just talk, but it wasn't. There are too many people in this world. How can you guarantee that I will be the last woman you fall in love with? Can I guarantee that you are the last man I fall in love with?
It is the most difficult and important thing to keep the original love and keep it, love him and never give up.
I think this sentence is really the perfect answer to meet true love after marriage.
Of course, when I say marriage, two people are based on love.
In fact, people, an animal, are best at self-suggestion. Cheating and betraying in marriage always likes to use "ta is my favorite, and I regret getting married early" as an excuse.
Because I dare not admit that I am a person who can't self-discipline, and I dare not admit that I am a person who is carried away by physical desires, I always strive for psychological comfort for myself with high-sounding reasons.
At some point, the lie became the truth, and I really felt that the person I cheated with was my favorite.
03
Therefore, meeting true love after marriage is actually a false proposition.
Why do you say that? Meeting this person today can make up for the deficiency of the other half. You thought it was true love. When the novelty has passed, you find that this person's shortcomings are now, and you will think that the next person is also true love.
Find it, in the end, delay yourself, no one will be your true love.
For example, Shen Congwen, the writer who wrote, "I have crossed bridges in many places, seen clouds many times, drunk many kinds of wine, but only loved one person at the right age." This poem is addressed to his wife Zhang Zhaohe.
It stands to reason that such a deep feeling will be unbreakable and indestructible, right? In particular, Shen Congwen began to pursue Zhang Zhaohe, but wrote love letters for nearly five years.
But unfortunately, Shen Congwen still fell in love with another woman, Gao.
The two men encouraged each other in literature and implied this relationship in their respective works.
Returning to his hometown in Suzhou angrily, Shen Congwen wrote a long letter to his wife every day, telling his love and concern for Gao.
However, compared with long-term marriage, short-term extramarital affairs are much more fragile. They finally took a step back and Shen Congwen finally returned to his wife.
1946, Shen Congwen's novel "Housewife" commemorating the third anniversary of marriage/kloc-0 is a confession to his wife.
1969, on the eve of Shen Congwen's decentralization, he took out a crumpled letter from his pocket, which was the first letter written to him by Zhang Zhaohe. At that time, Zhang Zhaohe had been sent to Xianning, Hubei Province. Shen Congwen held high the letter, looked shy and gentle, and then began to cry.
An old man in his seventies misses his wife and cries like a child.
04
After two people get married, rice, oil and salt, pots and pans, stumbling, it is easy to be as dull as Zhang Ailing said, "The glitz disappears, and people are more lonely than fireworks."
Anyone with a little life experience knows that falling in love before cohabitation is one thing; After living together, it's another matter.
Just like when we travel, we always envy the scenery of the city. In fact, we just saw the best side of a city. When we really move here, we may not like it so much.
Anyway, the novelty will pass, and sooner or later, the white rose will turn into boiled water, and the red rose will turn into mosquito blood on the wall.
Small fresh meat will always become strange, with a beer belly, baldness and snoring when sleeping; Little Loli will also become an old lady who loves to dance square dance. Her teeth will fall off, her breasts will droop and her ass will dry up.
Willing to bear the consequences and pursue the next so-called true love;
If you don't want to investigate the consequences, you will continue to guard the people in front of you.
05
Of course, I am not encouraging everyone who meets true love to continue to cling to the marriage in front of them.
I just think that before two people get married, the first thing to abandon is unrealistic fantasy. Give up the romance of being in love.
Otherwise, when you can't stand the reality of marriage, you will compare two people and deny the previous oath. Why bother?
If you choose to enter marriage, you should realize the significance of marriage to individuals and families.
Love is the function of dopamine and adrenaline, passion and impulse; But the essence of marriage is to live together, resist the risks of life, raise children and the elderly, and it is long-term and stable.
This is why marriage should be managed, and a balance should be struck between reality and romantic passion.
Of course, now you have the freedom to get married and divorce.
Arrange the children properly, divide the property properly, give the other half a reception properly, and then move on to the next relationship. I also respect you as a man, whether male or female.
What bothers me is that there is a word called: cheating.
It's really hard for two people to communicate, really hard to get through, really in love with someone else, really want to sleep with someone else, really wandering between "true love" and "old love" Please clean up the marriage, and then calculate the biological gender.
These days, it is not a skill to find true love when you are dying. It is a skill to have the ability to control your own destiny, not to be a slave to desire, and to bear any possible consequences without regret.
You feel that you have met true love, don't want to be disappointed, and choose to cheat; Is your marriage partner willing to be treated like this?
Whether it is marriage or love, you are not the only one. Other people's hearts are made of meat. Why should you bear the harm caused by your indulgence?
06
It better be kind.
Only the weak who feel inferior will lack empathy and sympathy, be complacent because of their treachery, and satisfy themselves with their stubbornness. Because of the lack of foresight and narrow vision, they will blame others when they bear the consequences, but they will never reflect on themselves and make their own decisions.
Please don't use "freedom of love" as a shield and fig leaf for cheaters, because when you step into marriage and love, you acquiesce that freedom is not infinite, and freedom is based on responsibility and morality.
In the name of "I have the freedom to pursue love", ignoring the behavior of my family and partner is all hooliganism.
07
Marriage, love, when two people get along, only you coax me and I coax you, you love me and I cherish you.
Farewell to life and death, separation from each other, holding hands and looking at each other with tears, goodbye in the afterlife, all useless.
You thought it was a movie.
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