Funny text to make people happy

1. You are not aware of how stingy my boyfriend, sent 0.25 red envelope, told me to look at it upside down.

2. Today suddenly realized that middle school love died in the change of seats, high school died in the separation of classes, college died in the graduation, and I'm not even, so far no face love, died in the looks.

3. Look at the scale of their own, still have the nerve to say is the mother's sweet little cotton jacket, simply military coat ah.

4. Women are fat and plump, thin and slim, tall and slender, short and showy. The man is fat is a pig, thin is ribs, high is bamboo pole, short is winter melon.

5. Since there is Meitu Xiu Xiu, waist is not thick, face is not fat, dark circles under the eyes are gone, face is not black.

6. The so-called paradise is the place where all the women are present and only the wife is absent.

7. others broke up can go to Paris alone, and I broke up can only go downstairs to the beef noodle shop, eat a bowl of six dollars of beef noodles also dare not add eggs.

8. I have a goal to buy a house before the age of thirty, and I'm halfway there now, almost thirty.

9. A man's words are like an old woman's teeth, not many of them are true.

10. When you think you can't, go over the crosswalk so you're a pedestrian.

11. Some people are unhappy to eat desperately, I am not the same, I am happy or not happy to eat desperately.

12. Beautiful-looking people, even if they made a mistake, others are easy to forgive. The ugly people, light looks others can not be forgiven, not to mention the mistake or not.

13. And handsome and have a car, that is chess, rich and have a house, that is the bank.

14. Everything must be seen to be open, life can play high.

15. Why some boys tease tease suddenly ignored you, large-scale casting nets, selective fishing, you were released.

16. When there is no money, eat wild vegetables at home, when there is money, eat wild vegetables in the hotel.

17. The ideal of life is that the hair is not washed for five days without oil, and then every time I am angry, the nasty people on the body to grow more two pounds of meat.

18. Life's three major illusions: start working hard tomorrow, today must go to bed early, and then buy me to chop.

19. Why should girls have to be so calculating with each other, anyway, over the decades are going to square dance together.

20. There is a kind of person, you do not about her, she will never come to about you, but you must not think that her private life is how colorful, it is not possible that you do not about her again, she died at home, such as me.

21. Try to exercise when you have time, you can't be single and fat at the same time.

22. Nowadays, there are three things that young people can't touch: chasing stars, staying up all night, and honoring the king, and the more you touch it, the more you'll feel that a single person can be really fun.

23. When I was a kid and saw my mom and dad arguing, I often wondered if I should get married when I grew up. It wasn't until after I reached the age that I realized: I really thought too much.

24. Do not finish the work, do not sleep enough sleep, feed not fat wallet, can not afford to buy the mink, half a lifetime to earn two hundred million, a memory loss, a memory.

25. Like can not be hidden, cover the mouth, will also run out of the wallet, from the bank card to scratch out.

26.Daze this thing, if done well, it is deep.

27. Now, to lose a pound of flesh, like playing with your life; to grow a pound of flesh, again like playing with your life.

28. Time and marriage will make a man mature, just time is a small fire slow boiled, marriage is a big fire fast fried.

29. The most useless thing in the world is the paycheck, look angry, wipe your ass too fine.

30. I have a heart to lose weight and a foodie stomach, it two days days PK, I pinch my fingers, today the stomach won again.