What are some easy and funny opening lines?

as follows:

1, don't want to answer the phone straight, don't let China Mobile apologize for you.

2, don't play king of glory, dance square dance, or later you can only play games with ugly old man when you are old, not come out to see handsome old man.

3, "full of eyes are you and how. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty. In this ambiguous era, deep love is nothing but a joke."

4, girls should not run at night, too dangerous, in case of barbecue stalls on the end.

5, break up on the break up, you go to the ants manor to beat my chicken, is not to play down?

6, "The word "forgetting" is too hypocritical, I'm not generous, I like the wind and water to the death."

7, you are in the city it is raining, would like to ask you to bring an umbrella, if not, trouble rain a little.

8, if life deceives you, then please pick up the beauty camera to deceive life.

9. Every time I walk alone at night, I'm so scared. It's so dark and I'm so good-looking, I'm really afraid that people won't see me.

10, just a very beautiful girl in front of me, we met for a long time, who did not break this calm, until the hand tired, I slowly put down the mirror.

11, don't call baby in the future, I don't know whether it's treasure or preparation.

12, this time to teach you a very practical life skills: first step left foot, then step right foot, you can walk, next time to teach you how to breathe.

13, "thought and a lot of people chatting will not have not return the message and worry about things, the results of everyone is not back to me."

14, "If he really wants to guard you, then why isn't he the security guard downstairs in your house?"

15, "It's not that I love to stay up late, but the night needs me as a bright star."